Seeking Mom's

I too sounded like you when I was pregnant with my last one. after 5 children (one died in '92) i finally got my tubes tied after the birth of my last one. I know this sounds nuts but I wish I wouldn't have. I have a 19, 18, 9 & 19 1/2yr old. and should not feel this way but I do. I don't know if it's the finality of it but I have noticed a change in my body since I have had it done. My periods are longer & a lot worse, and it seemed it took me longer to lose my weight after I was fixed. Am not sure on complications of the surgery but afterward look out. After the surgery I had the nastiest gas I have ever smelled in my life & it permented my room the whole stay there. With friends & family stopping by this was a little embarrasing! Good luck to you!

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Everyone's experience with any type of surgery is going to be different. We have 3 children ages 14, 11 and 3 1/2. I had my tubes tied (cut, tied and burned) right after the last one. And I mean right after the last one. They took me in about 1 hour after delivery. (all 3 kids were born natural with no complications) I did have an epidural with my last child and I did not have one with the other kids, so that may have been my problem as I don't do well with ansthesia. I was sick for quite some time after coming out of surgery. After going home my feet swelled so bad they looked as if they were going to burst and my belly button (where they went in) got infected. Granted I was quite a bit older with the last child, but if I had to do it all over again I don't think I would have had it so soon after having the baby. Then again I've had friends that pretty much did it the same way as me and they had no problems what so ever. I will say I'm glad I had it done. No worrying about birth control and such anymore. Quite a bit of it could've had to do with my age. I was 35 when my last was born. You're a lot younger and should be able to bounce back quite easily.
I had a friend that had it done and something did happen to her husband. She got remarried and her new husband had no kids of his own. They decided on artificial insemination. But as she said...if they couldn't have afforded that then they wouldn't have been able to afford anymore children. Honestly though, after already having 3 of your own you probably don't want anymore of your own. If something would happen to your husband and you would remarry, your new husband would already have 3 beautiful children to love.
Goodluck with your pregnancy, delivery and whatever you decide to do!

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I was 25 when I had my tubed tied. Make sure you're 100% ready to have it done. I regret mine to a point. For the simple fact of what if something happened to my husband, and I meet someone new.... Not saying anything would happen, but it's still a what if.... Also I was overwhelem with having twins that I thought "that's it I am done" I wish i would have waited.

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Hello C., My name is L., I had my tubes tide about 2 years ago and it was the best thing that I had ever done, of course besides having my wonderful son. My husband and I only have 1 child and we had decided that we were done having children so I talked to my doctor and then we scheduled the surgury. I had it done on a Wednesday and I was back to work by Monday. I have had no complications. I know it can be scary but I am sure that you will do just fine.

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my daughter was born at midnight, at 7am that same day I had my tubal ligation done so it was the same recovery time as for the birth to make it easier. It took a while for the incision to heal & my periods were weird for a while but I've got ovarian cysts that make me irregular anyways but I knew I couldn't handle more kids emotionally, financially or physically so for me it was the best choice.
one thing though for me was that I had 2 tubal pregnancies since it was done in Jan. 2003

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I had a tubal after my son and everthing went great. I love being fixed! The only thing I would recomend is to check into something called Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. I didn't know about this until after the surgery. I have experenced and read of many women who have SEVERE cramping and irregular periods. Some women say that it goes away after a few years because your body has to get used to the difrences. In my opinion a little pain is worth it for what you get. Good Luck!

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C.,

I had my tubes tied in 1997 only to regret it. I was 21 at the time and had 3 kids already(all were "birth control babies"). So, I was just certain that I didn't want anymore children. Couldn't afford them, didn't have the time, so on and so forth.

In 1999 I ended up divorcing my husband. In 2001 I married my current husband (he had no children of his own). I immediatley knew that I should not have had my tubes tied. We ended up spending around $8,000 for a tubal reversal...

Having your tubes tied should be considered permanent. Also, as many of the other women have stated, after I had my tubal, my periods were horrible and I always had random cramping that was relatively severe. We were lucky and could afford the reversal surgery and it was successful, but not everyone can be so lucky.

Have you considered an IUD? This type of birth control is actually more effective than a tubal, is good for 5 yrs, and totally reversable if you change your mind. I have one right now and love it. I have had mine for almost 2yrs now with no problems at all. I love mine so much that three of my friends got one after I ranted and raved about how great they were. And they all love it too...Also, my insurance company paid 100% of the cost of it. Talk to your OB about it.

I understand your thought process of the tubal, but having gone through the process of changing my mind about having it done, stongly suggest looking into other options first. Especially since you are still young, you never know...

Hope this helps.

Y.

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Hi C.,
I got my tubes tied after my twins, my 3rd and 4th children. My doctor elected to pull my tubes through little bands instead of cutting them because the chances of revercal are better. I didn't ask for the procedure to be done this way. But my doctor assured me that it is just as effective as cutting and tying the tubes. My twins are 3 yrs old now, with no pregnancy scares.
I had absolutely no complications.
I decided to get my tubes tied for similar reasons to yours.
1. I didn't think it would be fair to my current 4 children to spread myself and their dad even thinner between us for attention.
2. Finances
3. I am truly content with not having any more children.

After my 2nd child I wanted to have it done, but had some small reservations about maybe having children in the future. I am glad that I didn't go through with it then. I am very happy with my life now that I have 4 children. My life is busy and full, just the way I like it.
So my advice is to weigh you decision carefully, as it sounds like you have. If you are 100% sure you and your significant other do not want to add to your family, then go ahead with it. If you are in a long term relationship with your significant other, then I would suggest that he has the surgery instead. The recovery and healing time is much quicker than for the woman. And is much less invasive.
Hope this helps.
Hugs,
G.

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its really not that bad if your not wanting anymore children your back on your feet pretty quick im like you i couldnt afford a bunch of children either

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Look at it this way, God meant for you to have this baby, you may not know why but it happened for a reason you just have to find out what that reason is..It may be hard but remember this all things are possible through God and he never gives you more than you can bear.. You may just want to look at the options and see what is best for you.
I am 25 with a five year old little girl and have a baby on the way myself...I wanted another baby but now that it is hear boy has the fear set in. I've done good to raise her so far...her father has a little boy who is 13 now and I raised him for five years until we split up so I know how hard raising more than one child is...you will make the right decision just believe in yourself and trust in God

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I had mine done 8 yrs. ago after my youngest. I haven't had any complications from it. I just wish I would have had all of it taken out.

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Hi, my name is M., and after three children, many failed relationships, and choicing adoption for my middle child, I got my tubes tied. I regret it to this day because I am now married, and wish more than anything to give my husband a baby. The only thing I can say is make sure that you are really ready to do it. You don't want to regret it down the road.

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i agree with the person who posted vasectomey........its easier, less time to do and heal from. ive heard of womens periods being more painful after their tubes are tied.....and women should have to go through that why????? no reason when a man can go to a urologist and spend a few minutes( and less money)good luck

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I'm 2 and had mine done when I had my son. But I had a c-section so it wasn't anything more then just bn on the table a few min more. But I had decided that 2 was enough for me and if I wanted more I would adopt. Also I had hard pregnancys, births, and recoveries. The only problems I have found is I cramp a heck of alot worse then before. If your hubby would go for the vasectomy I'd say let him do it. But that's my personal expierence.

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I to struggled with whether or not to have my tubes tied. I was 26 when i had mine done.Almost all my friends told me i was crazy for various reasons.(what if you want to have a child later if something were to happen to your husband ect.)Well i knew that mentally as well as financially 3 was the limit for me regardless of whether or not something happened later in life. I am now a happy (unfortunatly single) mom to 3 great girls i wouldn't change it for anything. I do still get along with their dad but i am sooo very thankful i made the choice to have the procedure done. Now i don't have to worry about my girls sharing sisters or brothers with any other men. Not that i downgrade a women for having a different father for her children i just find much less hassle involved with life this way.

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The answer is easy...VASECTOMY....he is definately done...and wants no more kids....it is MUCH easier, much less money, much less painful and much less expensive for him to get a simple laser procedure. He will be ina nad out of the office and up to any task the same day.

Good luck

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C.--I don't have my tubes tied, but mom had hers tied and she hasn't had any complications and it was years ago. I would caution against having your husband snipped though--they tell you that there is only a 1% chance of it growing back after the procedure and my dad was one of that percent...also my husband and i have 3 other couple friends who have had the vasectomy and they all ended up pregnant....just make sure you get all of the info and stats before making your final decision.

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I had my tubes tied after my last son was born. I had to wait about a month because of a problem with the delivery, but I had no problem with getting my tubes tied.

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I have four wonderful children and had my tubes tied after the last. I can happily tell you that for 6 years now there have been no complications with my surgery. I had to have a c-section and they did the tubal then. It is a great relief to me not to have to worry about protection everytime my husband and I are together. We wanted more children, but can not afford them financially or emotionally. It is a very common procedure and worth it. I say go for it if it is what you truely want and relax and enjoy your babies. fyi- my boys are 18 months apart. I know what you will be going thruogh when the new baby arrives. It is not as hard as you think it will be. Love them all and things will work out

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I am new to this site but here is my two cents. My son is 6 weeks old and I had mine tied after he was born, having 4 kids I know that it was the right thing to do. They did it right after my c-section so it wasn't a big deal what I wasn't ready for was how I would feel afterwards knowing that I can never have another one its kinda depressing. Maybe you should look into another kind of birth control if your not 100% sure this is what you want. There are some new ones that can last 5 yrs.
Good luck
A.

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You're 27. What I recommend is instead of getting your tubes tied, have him get snipped!!! :) My husband is 6 yrs. older than me and that's what we're doing after our 3rd. I guess a good question to ask yourself is: If something were to happen to my husband (God forbid) would I want to be remarried and would I want a child with the man? I know it's kind of something you would think would never happen, but it does. So make sure it's what you want in your heart.

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I had mine tied a month after my son was born knowing that I never wanted anymore children. It isn't painful and it is a quick outpatient procedure. You may feel some cramping down there a lil afterwards from time to time. I know I do and other women I know do as well but they say it's just your body getting used to it. I do have longer periods than I used to 7 days compared to 3 but they are only heavy the first 2 days and I so get bad cramping the first day but I will take it for not having to worry about getting pregnant. I am really happy that I had mine done but I do think that the effects are different for everyone because none of us are the same. Just be sure that's what you want, I think that you are making a responsible decision.

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I had my tubes tied last Sept & have had no complications. The incinsion was made in my belly button so I don't even have a scar. It was an out-patient procedure and I was home 2 hours after I went in. The worst past of the whole thing was having a sore throat from the anesthesia. I really like not being on the pill, I feel more "normal" hormonally & I've been able to shed the last bit of baby weight I'd been carring around. It is nice having the piece of mind about no unexpected pregnancies in the future. What ever decision you make, good luck to you!!

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C.,
I am a mother of 3, and had my tubes tied after the last one, 22 months now. I kept saying "No" until the day for scheduled C-section. We, my husband and I, then decided that we couldn't go through another pregnancy. with 2 c-sections and age. I had no complications from it. Of course they were already in there and my doctor told me it was no more of a healing time then with just the C-section. I miss not being able to have anymore children but feel we made a good decision. Your doctor might be a little weary due to your age, but being that you have 3 now and sounds as if not married. If you feel it is right for you then by all means do it. The complications I believe are no more then childbirth. The complications of stress, and money problems I believe are more. Good Luck.

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My mom and my best friend both had their tubes tied and neither of them had any problems. They both had all their kids C section, so right after their last children were born the just did the procedure, since they were already "in". I plan on having mine tied after the next one, since I will have a CS. Two children is enough for us! (Some days having one seems like more than I can handle! LOL!) Another friend had her tubes tied about a year after her last one was born. She had him CS, but wasn't entirely sure about getting them tied at that point so she waited. She also did not have any complications. I guess every woman is different as far as how they react to surgery. For example, after my C Section, I had very little pain (easily controlled with 800 mg ibuprophen and the occasional percoset)...I was doing laundry 3 days after coming home. My friend (neither of the friends mentioned above) had so much pain after her CS that even with high doses of morphine the pain was almost unbearable for her. So each woman is different. I hope this helps!

M.

the surgery is safer now than ever b4, but a vasectomy for your hubby is a safer, less invasive out patient surgery. it can be done at a urologists office instread of a hospital.

i had my tubes tied after my last daughter. had it done the day after delivery. i cant handle bc, and mentally couldnt handle anymore, so we did it.the only problem i felt was my belly was a bit more sore afterward from the incision, and i ended up w/ it slightly infected. i was on pain meds for the pain more than i wouldve normally been too. thats my personal experience though.

the choice that you make will be totally up to you...but I think that if your husband is older and has children that are teenagers and he also doen't want any more then have him go in. At your age and after having babies this close together it might mess up your hormone levels and that is never good!! I think that you should talk to your husband and see if he wil willing to be the one that is "fixed"