Seeking Help with Reading for My 6 Year Old Daughter

C.,
For many children, even very bright ones, learning to read does not come easily. Difficulty learning to read is called dyslexia. It affects 1 in 5 children, and is estimated to account for 80% of all learning disabilities. In class, reading equals academic success. In society, our readers are our leaders. People who struggle to read, despite being intelligent in other areas, may never reach their true potential.
Your first step needs to be to get an evaluation of your daughters cognitive abilities including focus on auditory processing and memory.

Reading problems are identifiable and treatable. Researcher Sally Shaywitz from Yale University has published extensively on the neural signature of dyslexia using functional brain scans. The brain is incredibly responsive to targeted intervention. The brains of poor readers can be trained or rewired to respond better to auditory input the typical weakness point for people with reading difficulties. Individuals also can learn how to manipulate these building blocks of reading. The research has shown that waiting to see if things will improve on their own will put the child further behind, allow them to experience more failure, and damage self-esteem.
Significant Warning Signs of Reading Trouble
By Pre-K or Kindergarten children should be able to:
• Recognize rhyming and memorize nursery rhymes.
• Remember names of friends and peers
• Have normal language development
• Recognize some letter shapes
By the end of first grade they should recognize:
• The alphabet corresponds to letter sounds
• Be able to apply “phonics to reading and spelling
• Spell common sight words
• Retell stories in sequence and make predictions
• Read aloud with some fluency and comprehension
My daughter has auditory processing and memory difficulties and after 24 weeks of targetted brain training when she was in 2nd grade she made incredible gains in her reading abilities. Today, in 5th grade is reads above grade level, is a fluent and an expressive reader. Joyously, she loves reading. Please have your daughter get tested. Reading difficulties can be changed. Your reading aloud to your daughter will not hurt her - it builds sentence structure and vocabulary however she does need to begin reading on her own as well.

V. Parker, Ph.D.
Director, Learning Rx/Charlotte
www.learningrx.com/Charlotte

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Some good suggestions already, but thought I would add my two cents. Consider "Hooked on Phonics." You can get any level from pre-school up through 4th grade, I think. My son told me when he was 4 that he wanted to learn to read and I started doing Hooked on Phonics with him for just half an hour or so at a time one or two days a week. Now, 14 months later, we are working our way through the first grade level. This program is kind of expensive if you go to the "Hooked on Phonics" website, but www.sndkids.com has each level for about $20. (Their home page features kids' clothes, but click on "shop online" and it brings up more categories and a "search bar" that you can use to find "Hooked on Phonics."

The other people who wrote to you are right also in saying that the most important thing you can do is read, read, read to your daughter. I read to my kids everyday and it's amazing how much they pick up just by "reading over your shoulder" as they follow along in the story. You can even run your finger along under the words as you read them and they will eventually start to recognize certain words on sight.

Good luck to you!

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C., So sorry your daughter is having trouble. I don't have experience with your problems however I would recommend that you have her tested for dyslexia. Just as a precaution. With her memorization and lack of recognition of words later in a book would seem to me that these may be a concern. Again, no personal experience so my very best of luck to you. I would say continue to read to her at night. Offer for her to read to you and if she says no, then read yourself. Either way it will keep her interest in reading. Take care and wishing you the best.

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C.,

Dyslexia sounds like a good possibility. Have her tested for it. If she is, don't fret. It is more than likely she has above average intelligence & is already using that to compensate.

The key is to protect her self esteem. To do that, make sure her teachers understand it is a learning disability & be sure she is in an environment that can accommodate her needs.

This link looked like a good resource:
http://www.dyslexia-parent.com/dyslexia.html

I have survived 42 years not knowing my left from my right or remembering peoples' names. If she is in fact dyslexic, she has special rights that will help her thrive better in school, such as un-timed tests or having tests read to her.

Get her tested. Don't let anyone tell you "there is no such thing". It is physiological, her brain fires differently from a non-dyslexic brain. The right tutor will know how to help her build her weaknesses & fully utilize her strengths.

Good Luck! I hope this is helpful!

P. : )

PS I eventually learned how to read... and do math... elementary school was a struggle, but I made it. I went on to collage & some grad level work!

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In my (non-expert) opinion, you should never stop reading to her! Keep 'reading', per se, as a completely pleasant experience -- either from her experience or yours! If you get TOO worried about it, it will shine through to her, and SHE will worry about it. Everyone has different learning styles and abilities. Concentrate on what she CAN do well, praise her for everything she does right when reading (or writing or spelling) and go easy on the criticism -- and DON'T get obviously frustrated w/her. If you feel exasperated, take a breath, walk away for a bit, and regroup your own emotions and separate them from her learning experience.

Our youngest daughter had a 1st grade teacher who was (literally) on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and she told the kids they were stupid. Our daughter ended up being retained that year and again in 5th grade just because she THOUGHT she wasn't a good learner (because her teacher told her that). She's now 21 and as intellingent as anyone else (but we DID get to keep her a couple extra years, which was OK w/us since she's our youngest). Upon checking her PREVIOUS tests, her second 5th grade teacher noticed immediately that she did have a slight learning disability in MATH. No one just ever checked it out.

Anyway, keep it sweet, and she will be the person God meant her to be. He didn't make everyone good readers -- for His own reasons! Sometimes they end up being the best caretakers for His 'special needs' people or whatever (actually, that's what I do, so it's not a demotion -- even if society thinks it is!)

God bless!

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Children definitely read at different rates. Your daughter's classmates might read differently than her. And that's okay! Make sure you have her read outloud to you every single day. Choose books that are slightly under her current reading level. This will help assure success and make her feel more confident about her reading. As she progresses, slowly choose more challenging books. Never stop reading aloud to her!! Continue reading aloud even until she is in high school! Reading aloud to children teaches them new vocabulary words, sentence structure, voice inflection, and loads of things! Usually, children can understand a higher reading level when you read to them. The more words she hears you and your hubby read, the more she will know when she encounters them in her own reading. Good luck!

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C.,
Parent Teacher Conferences will probably be happening very soon in your school district. Speak with your child's teacher first and see what she thinks about your daughter's reading in relation to other first grade students. We parents sometimes believe our children are lagging behind when in fact they are right on par or even ahead of other kids their age. It is true that you know your children better than teachers/doctors/ etc...but the teacher can give you the perspective of where your child falls in "what is normal ability for a child this age".
My 4th grade child still struggles with the decoding part of reading...he is not good at sounding out words, forgets words he knows, etc....however is comprehension is fabulous. My 2d grade child is the opposite - he reads the words on the page in front of him more accurately than his older brother, but when you ask him what he has read....he has NO idea. At the suggestion of his classroom teacher, he is in a reading support program at the school and in the month he has been in it, I have noted a great improvement in his comprehension (and his behavior in school b/c he is not as frstrated anymore).
Additionally, just read with her and to her as much as you can. Studies show over and over again that children who are read to - even once they become readers - are better readers than children who are not. You can read her a story and every so often stop and ask her questions about what you have read and see how she comprehends what she has heard. Also as you read to her have her follow where you are with a bookmark and she will continue to put the words on the page with the words she is hearing.

Good Luck, it can be frustrating - but take your concerns to the teacher and then ask her for reccomendations as well. She will likely know of other resources you have avaialable in your area.

T.
(mom of 3 boys - 9,7,3)

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1st, go to a book store and by her the "Dick and Jane" books. Like the ones we learned to read on. There is a lot of repetition and I used it for my 13 year old when he was in Kindergarten. He did really well with it. 2nd, have her eyes checked. My oldest and middle children had convergence insuffenciency (not sure I spelled that correctly). This made them mix up letters, words, and even flip sentences. Have them check for dyslexia too. Rule everything out if you can and then you will know if she has a medical problem or is just one of those people who has a hard time learning to read.

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When you read to her are you reading books that are her level of reading or higher? When she reads is she reading books that are easy or harder? My oldest had a hard time reading. We would take turns reading. We also made sure that we got books that were easy so he did not get fustrated. As he could read those books easily then we would go to the next level. My son liked BOB books. They are small square books. We also would get books that were Step one books, they have a lot of different authors and the books are in Levels. You can also talk to the teacher to see if she is seeing the same problems. The other thing to found out is do the teach reading by memorization or phonetics. If it is memorization then they are expected to memorize words. If it is phonetics then they are expected to sound out the words. All reading contains a certain amount of memorization of words that are used often. The school may have special classes available to help her.

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C. - You might consider reading every day to her - you read a chapter or number of pages in a book she likes and then either from the same book have her read to you - 15 minutes or if she needs an easier book that is OK too. We have worked with my grandson and he reads and we read every evening near bedtime even during summer. No at 5th grade level he loves books, any books and is a fluent reader. His mom still reads with him at bedtime, sometimes they are into 2-3 different chapter books at a time.
I hope this will help you. Also let her choose some of the books based on interests. Jacob likes the classic Tom Sawyer, Jeckyl and Hyde types as well as humor like Calvin and Hobbs and Garfield. Even though its comic strip format it is still reading.
nm

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Hi C.,

I would speak to your pediatrician if you think she might be dyslexia. My daughter, who is now 18 years old, had a hard time with reading in the beginning. She was actually held back in the first grade because of this. In second grade something finally clicked and she took of with reading. She reads all the time now. In elementary school she decided one summer to read 30 books. These where big chapter books and she did it. She reads so much there are times I have told her to put down the book and do something else. Children learn at different paces and settings. This may be something that will click for her later. Definetly check with your doctor to be sure there aren't any learning disabilities affecting her. Reading is the most important part of learning and when they struggle with this it makes everything in school really hard. For my youngest son I found a reading tutor through the schoool to help him when he struggled with reading. He hasn't taken off like he older sister but he can read, it just isn't his favorite thing to do. We have found that finding books that they are really interested in helps alot. Good luck and I hope this helps.

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First, take a deep breath! She's only six. My son is six, but only in the kindergarten. So unlike you, I don't have to worry about him not being able to read yet as it isn't a skill kindergarteners have achieved at this point. Every child develops differently. THE WORST THING you could possibly do is stop reading to her. Just the opposite is what she needs. She is at a critical point in reading where she is on the cusp of doing it independently, but still needs the repetition of being read to. If she doesn't get the additional input of you reading to her, how will her skill level advance? Trust me, reading to her is not holding her development back, but rather encouraging it to advance. About the dyslexia... my husband is dyslexic and I have talked to him so many times about this challenge. I can tell you that reading words out of order is most likely not dyslexia. Dyslexics take one word at a time... they can't scan a sentence like other readers. They actually have to take pause a each word. For example... Can you read the following:

There was a popular email forward circulation a while back and although it's claim is false, (meaning it's not a real study from Cambridge), according to my dyslexic husband it is a good example of what it is like to read with dyslexia. See below:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Each of these words just has slight misspellings and letters that are normally beside eachother are flipped. The same word can appear different each time a dyslexic reader sees it, so sometimes memorization of what letters are in any given word is a method resorted to. To the best of my knowledge, dyslexia can not be determined until around 8 years old.

I would really just relax and let her do it at her pace. Take the pressure off and try to have faith that she will get it.

I can completely relate to feeling worried about a possible delay. My son still has trouble pronouncing the "L" and "th" sounds consistently. No matter how many speech therapists that I consult, they all say that he is on target and not worry.

But back to you, if you want to help her, I have been meaning to buy the following book for my children as I have heard so many good things about it.

http://www.startreading.com/ It's titled, " Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" (20 minutes per day)
The back cover reads:
Is your child halfway through first grade and still unable to read?
Is your preschooler bored with coloring and ready for reading?
Do you want to help your child read, but are afraid you'll do something wrong?
Are you worried that your child will become lost in overcrowded classrooms?

So thanks for your question, I'm going to order this and get started with my 6 year old... extra help and encouragement never hurts! I forgot all about this book until your post,
so thanks for the reminder!

It's hard to know when to worry and when not to... Our job is difficult!!
Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

reading is the key to everything. The child who is read to, is a world ahead of others. Have her eyes tested, and have her tested for reading ability. She may be reading disabled. Emerson Waldorf believes that a child should NOT read until the coming of their new teeth, which would put them around 7 yrs. I would get books on a first grade level and read a page, and have her read the next if she is able. Sounds to me as if she may have a problem.

Keep being patience and whatever you do do not stop reading to her. Seek doctors advice to see what they say. Pray about it. She will overcome it. Finds things that she like and whatever she likes get books about them. If she like princess get books on princess and see how it works. Then you can add some other things later.

Be encourage.

Along with getting her checked out for dyslexia, you might want to consider taking her to an eye doctor that would also evaluate her for any vision therapy needs. For example, my son's eye did not work together but after vision therapy they did and he does read better now. We went to Dr. Toler in Apex. I found this website that would help you find someone http://www.visiontherapydirectory.com/

She sounds like my son. He hates to read. It's not that he can't read, it's just that he doesn't read fast. My son would also read a word and then on the next page not be able to remember it. I would find myself getting so frustrated. He was told in the 3rd quarter of his 1st grade year that he needed to be in remedial reading classes. I let them put him there during that year. His reading got on grade level. A lot of his problems was self-confidence. In second grade I told his teacher that she needed to push him so when they were put in reading groups she grouped him with advanced readers. She told me he was so competitive that he wasn't going to allow them to out read him. His reading improved but his fluency was still slow. Now he is in 3rd grade and we make him read out loud 20 minutes every night (except weekends) and he has to sound out words before he asks me or my husband for help. We make him read out loud by himself so that he learns to read independently. He still hates to read and refuses to read at school unless he know's he's being tested. I was very concerned about his reading so I started thinking about having him evaluated for learning disabilities like dyslexia or physical problems like stigmatism. His eyes are fine. I do stile notice that he has trouble with small words like, who and how or and or the. He writes his letters backwards, and when he copies work from the board it looks like greek. I'm meeting with his teacher next week and am going to request, at the advice of my pediatrician, that he be evaluated for dyslexia or visual/auditory processing disorders. Whether he has these or not is something I want resolved. In talking with him, he just does not apply himself. He refuses to read because "it takes too long". His mind is "on playing" rather than getting his work done. I will tell you that you need to catch what's going on quickly and nip it in the bud soon so she doesn't get behind. You know what she is capable of doing at home, it may be that you need to have a meeting with the teacher and get guidance from her on how to improve in this area. If she gets behind she will stay behind and have to work harder. Take it from experience and demand every possible help the school system can offer. I would pay for a tutor before I had your daughter taken out of class for tutoring because removing them from class for tutoring will get her behind on work. They will offer tutoring too. Just my opinion. Good luck.

Hi C.,
I am a mother of three. My oldest has always struggled with reading. He has been in the EC (Exceptional Children) program since kindergarten. Have they done any testing on your daughter and have you talked to her teacher about your concerns? If not, request a meeting to discuss your worries and to request testing. Do not back down. If you feel there may be issues, then don't let them convince you otherwise.
Being Riley was our first, I thought listening to our teachers and experts was what we should do, but I always wondered if he was dyslexic. The years went on and he continued to struggle (we were told he had a SLD, specific learning disability). He is this normal kid, with a normal IQ, who just couldn't seem to learn. He has been in EC classes for years without much progress. We finally decided to have him tested on our own at the end of the last school year. We found out he is extremely dyslexic. I am not sure if you have searched for info on dyslexia, but there is a misconception that it just means they see things backward, or flipflopped, but there is WAY more to it. It also causes disorganized thinking and short term memory problems. These are problems he has had forever.
I have learned early intervention is the key. Everyone will tell you, from K-3rd grade they learn to read, after that they have to read to learn. It's so important to be your childs advocate, there is no one who will want her to succeed mroe then you and your husband.
If you have any more questions or need help, please feel free to write me back.
J.

Check out http://www.starfall.com/
It makes reading fun and uses phonics to teach. It is set up like a computer game and is great for kids just starting out. My 5 year old and my 2 year old love it.

C. - My advice is flashcards. I took the Dolch sight words and wrote them on flashcards plus I used the phonics cues (long vowel, short vowel etc) This way my son was not overwhelmed by the thought of having to read a whole book. He only had to sound out one word at a time. I started with 10 words and added as my son improved. As he mastered the 2 and 3 letter words - I added new ones. My son has improved a great deal in a short amount of time and had gained confidence in his ability. Good luck to you and your daughter. She sure is lucky to have parents who are so involved and care so much.

I would definately get her tested either by a private company like Huntington or Sylvan or independent group or school system.....I would recommend the non-school program if you can. We had to do this with our son and we used both Huntington and the school. I still think that Huntington was responsible for helping him be where he is today with his reading. Don't rely solely on the school. My son is now 18-soon to be 19-and he is doing fine. He could speed his reading up a bit but he does love to read....also, remember to let her read anything that may appeal to her even if it is comics, recipes or whatever. It is ALL reading.

C., I'm sure others will have some good advice for you, but I'd just like to mention what helped my own son so very much. He's 14 years old now and a wonderful reader, but couldn't even recognize the alphabet at 4 years old. I hired a lady who helped homeschoolers to tutor him, and she tried many different ways of teaching him until she hit upon something that made the lightbulb go off. It was a computer program by DK (Dorling Kindersley) called Bear and Penguin - I Want to Read. It was amazing how he caught on. We also used DK's I Love Math with Bear and Penguin too.

I haven't looked to see if they are still available, but I bet they are or at least something like it. Try looking for it on-line.

If your daughter is vastly different from her classmates in reading, your school should give her testing. According to how she tests, an IEP may be in order. Try the computer program I'm telling you about, and go from there.

Good luck!
D.

I can't give much info on this but I would suggest setting up an appt with her teacher first. Her teacher should have a better understanding of what level she is at and how you can best help her. Start with the lowest level of books for Kindergartners and starting readers and each night, go over them with her. Don't stop reading to her but maybe read 'with' her. Don't make it easy for her but you have to keep reading fun and if she gets overwhelmed, take a break. Also, try and find fun ways to remember the certain words. My son reads well but had trouble with certain words and would do the same thing, he would go two pages and then not remember the word. I stopped and made him look at that word and say it over and over and over. I had him pronounce it slowly and look at it as he pronounced it so as not to just be reciting or rehearsing the word. I am not a teacher so I think you should talk to her teacher first but don't get frustrated...I tend to do that and it is not a help. Good luck

Try asking her to read silently, then quiz her on the content. My son had the exact same problem and it turned out he did have mild dyslexia, but he was ok if he read to himself, it was when he was trying to read out loud that he got messed up. As long as her comprehension is good don't worry about it. Also, reading to her will only help, not hurt her. Keep it up. And remember, she is only in first grade and all children develop skills at different times, so don't get TOO worked up about it. It wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated, but still remember it's not the end of the world if it is determined she does have dyslexia. My son ended up a straight A student, graduated college with a 3.78 average, and was able to read and understand Plato by the ninth grade!!! Just DON"T ask him to read out loud or spell for you!!! Good luck.

I second the suggestion to try "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons"! It is a wonderful tool and something you and your child can do together.

Oh, and DO keep reading to her. It will only increase her skills and give you valuable time with her.
Good luck!

You sound just like I did last year. My son had a very hard time and didn't want to read. I kept hearing just give it time. Well they were right. It clicked and now he's reading books above grade level. I'm not sure what "did it" but hang in there. Hope this helps.

You've probably recieved a lot of advice about this... but as a soon to be mom, i know that i will probably worry about every little thing that doesnt seem right with my child, so i dont see anything wrong with ever getting a child tested for something. however, i used to work at a preschool and i was the teacher of the after school program. i had a little girl about your daughter's age with the same exact issue. i tried different things to get her to read with no luck... then she started telling me how she thought i was pretty and liked my shirt or necklace or whatever (i know that sounds silly), but i realized that i could use positive reinforcement to teach her to read. i told her that we would read the book as many times as it took to learn all the words, and when she could make it through the book without much trouble then we would get to paint our nails together. within a week she was ready really well. i can't say this is the case for your daughter, but try rewarding her for doing really well instead of getting aggravated. she may just be wanting extra attention as was in my case. good luck!

Hi C.,

My oldest daughter was reading in two weeks with the Phonics Game. My second however was not reading AT ALL at SEVEN. We worked, got her a tutor, worked some more and she would get so angry at herself, get frustrated and give up. I thought it was because she was a perfectionist or a little dyslexic like me. I had a family member suggest doing a detox of my home (and also of her little body)and I ultimately gave in. I saw an immediate change in her behavior and within EIGHT weeks I had her on grade level reading on her own.

I'm not saying that this is the only possible issue but I have found over the years that if you remove the neurological toxins/stimulants, you can get a better idea of what is going on in that little head of their's. Now that she's 14, she can express to me the difficulty and frustration she had when she was little. She knows that the detox changed her life.

Detoxing is not an expensive process and even if it's not the primary culprit, you family will be healthier and safer because of it. I'll be glad to walk you through what I did if you're interested.

God bless,

M.
www.go2harmony.healthyhometour.com

My daughter is six and had exactly the same problem at the beginning of this year- I could have written your question until the beginning of the month! (My son has ADHD and my brother had severe dyslexia growing up, so I was on high-alert for a "real" probem.) She'd figet, get hot/thirsty/tired, cry and you-name-it when she'd try to read a word she didn't know (which seemed like most of them)and would forget the same word page after page... my four year old would hear from across the room and scream out the word since it had been repeated so many times! She'd also read words backward (saw for was still happens at times!) My husband and I were SO frustrated and it showed: "Sit up! No wonder you're having a problem!" "C'mon, let's pay attention!" and so on. I realized reading was a major source of stress for her, so I switched to a chapter book with few pictures that was above her reading level. Counterintuitively, I read to her and DID NOT have her read for several nights. This allowed us to enjoy reading together and for her to see that (American Girl) stories were awesome and she wanted to be able to read them herself even without pictures. Then, I continued to read one chapter of the advanced book per night and get some easy readers for her. I would read the ENTIRE page of her book first and then get her to read it... yes, she memorized some of the sentences, but built confidence in hearing herself "read." For Bob Books (which I recommend), I would read the whole story and then say "Your turn!"

I also told her that I hoped she didn't feel special that she had trouble on some words because everyone does! That really helped her not "feel stupid"- which is a word we NEVER used, but she somehow said she felt. I said that she goes to school to learn reading because she wouldn't have to go if she already knew it all. You are SUPPOSED to not know at first when you are learning. It turned out that my daughter had a confidence problem and was so perfectionistic that she hated to hear herself stumble and make a mistake. I stopped praising her on how well she read (even when she did really well) and started to praise her on how I was SOOOOO proud of how she sounded out a word and really worked on it or that I was so happy we had such a great reading session- praise the effort more than the result. This was a lifesaver!
I have two older sons who are both excellent readers (in gifted classes) and I was very concerned she hit the other side of the spectrum because I had never had these issues before. I think I might have been creating some of the tension which was not conducive to her learning... she is so sensitive and just needed to gain some much needed confidence. She's really turned a corner and I hope the same for your daughter!