Seeking Help with Brushing Teeth

Updated on September 23, 2008
P.H. asks from Canton, MA
39 answers

Please, I need some suggestions for helping my two and half year old brush his teeth. He is not thoroughly brushing them and it is driving me crazy. I have been modeling for him since he had teeth. We brush our teeth together. He has singing toothbrushes, and "car" toothpaste. I try to get in there , holding him but he screams and kicks. My husband also brushes with him. I even tried the other night when he was sleeping.My friend mentioned getting his teeth sealed but I don't know if it is to soon.Plus I don't know how he'll sit still in a dentists' chair. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

I had an issue with my daughter brushing her teeth so I bought her a spin brush with Elmo on it. The fun spin brush helped but what it came with was even better! It came with a phone number to call Elmo. It is 1-866-ELMO-TIPS. I would pretend to call Elmo and then let her listen to Elmo on the phone. It has a little intro before Elmo comes on so you can "Pretend" to call him and tell Elmo how proud you are that they brushed their teeth. Elmo sings about brushing teeth and how proud he is of them. Every time we brushed I would say that if she brushed well I would call Elmo. Well every night she brushes now! And we no longer have to call Elmo!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

I don't have any suggestions as I'm in the same position with my 3 year old...I'd like to see what everyone else has to say, though. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Portland on

As funny as it sounds make a game of it and his choice. He wants a say. I used to forget how to brush my teeth and ask my children if they could clean mine to show me how. Then I would ask if I could practice by cleaning thiers. I did not always get a yes, but it was a habit I wanted them to catch. My girls are now 7 and 10 and we laugh at times about the good old days of playing dentist. It was fun, it was thier choice and now they have a great habit, they even floss. Good Luck!
J.

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J.R.

answers from Portland on

I have the same problem with my 2 1/2 y/o. he doesn't even brush any more, he eats the toothpaste. so i ended up getting one of the finger brushes for infants and while he has his toothbrush i brush his teeth with the finger brush. it's difficult sometimes but it gets the job done! just watch out for biting.

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E.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi P.! I have the same problem with my son who will be three in November. Sometimes it takes two of us to hold him down and I feel like I'm torturing him. What works the best is to let him brush a few seconds and then we brush a few seconds. And we are preparing now for the dentist by "playing dentist" at home. A chair and a towel around his neck, stick spoons in his mouth, let him look at his teeth in the spoon. I don't know where you live, but we found a dentist in lowell that caters to kids. They even ask what they like and set the office up for them. Hope you get some more suggestions!

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T.H.

answers from Boston on

My now-four-year-old had the same problem. What worked for us was to play dentist with her each night when it was time to brush her teeth. She has a child's upholstered rocker that we would use as our dentist chair. We'd call her name as if she were in the waiting room at the dentist office, then she would come and get in the chair. (She would often insist that it was her dolly's turn first...we always obliged!) We'd tip the chair back and ask her to open wide. Sometimes we even gave her a hand mirror to hold so she could see what we were doing. After she let us brush her teeth we gave her lots of praise and a high five, just like the real dentist. You could even throw in a sticker or a "prize" like his favorite toy. Good luck!

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C.K.

answers from Boston on

I have no advice for you, sorry! My son hates having his teeth brushed & fights my husband and I tooth and nail. He is so strong too that holding him down is a power struggle. Also he also won't brush them well enough on his own & doesn't think he needs to. Granted he is only 21 months old but still. I have also seeked advice & NOTHING & I mean nothing works for my son. Electric tooth brush, tooth brush with a cute little animal or something on it, brushing with him & "spitting". Oh he thought the spitting was hilarous but still he wouldn't brush or let me do it for him. So I guess all I have to say is good luck & I hope some of the other suggestions work for you. My pediatrician just said at that age you have to just try your best to brush them for him & hold him down if you have to. Some kids are just very stubborn (like mine). But again he is so strong & moves his head all over & I don't want to hurt him. But if something works for your little one please let me know!!

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi P. - - you are so not alone on this one. My daughter just turned 4 & i have struggled w/ this since day we started with her. Constant battle! Recently i figured out a way that helps. Act STUPID! I gave a voice for everything, Mr Toothbrush, Mrs Toothpaste, Mr Water, etc. They all have there own names, voice & dumb sayings, it works for her - she thinks its fun & we get her teeth done! Incorporate it with a song or whatever. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi P.
Our 2yr 10mo old has always been pretty independent... and loves to brush on his own... however his idea of brushing is putting loads of t.paste on and sucking on the toothbrush.. I have tried giving him his own time for a few minutes and then I whip out another toothbrush and try and get in there best I can... so yes, we are using 2 toothbrushes - kinda weird - but it works... I also throw in a little role play... and pretend that I am the dentist...Dr. Mommy... He giggles and that's when I get in there and do my brushing...
It doesn't always work - we do our best....

Lastly, we are scheduled to visit the dentist very soon - so we hope that may do the trick - perhaps this will decrease all the morning/evening drama....

have fun...

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A.W.

answers from Boston on

I hate to tell you this but my dentist harps on me everytime I go. We are supposed to be brushing their teeth since they don't have the fine motor control yet. My almost 6 year old had 3 cavities and they told me I should be brushing and I should be flossing for him. My almost 3 year old is a pain in the neck because I just cannot get him to let me do it. All I hear is "I'll do it." and then I stop the fight. Good Luck!

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K.L.

answers from Boston on

I know how you feel!! My oldest son just turned 3 and has been brushing his teeth for awhile and would not open up to let me help him. He loves to brush his teeth and does not fight me about it, he only fought me about letting me help.Too indpendent. So one night a few months ago... I said "what's in there? What did you eat today!??" he was like huhand let me look and take his tooth brush. I said "I see peanut butter up here in the back...and jelly over here in the front. Pancakes are on the side!! Cookies what are cookies doing over here!! Of course I over exaggerate and try to be animated when I say it. Basically we run through everything he ate that day and "find it" somewhere on his teeth. He thinks it is so funny and justs laughs the whole time while I finish brushing throughly. I always let him has his turn first.
OK ..I know it sounds silly but it works for us... I hope you have some luck as well.

K.

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

My son's WONDERFUL ped dentist told me at that age to have him lay flat in bed, with his head on a pillow and for me to brush his teeth with no tooth paste. Allowing the child to be prone supports their head and takes some of the pressure off. I had my son swish and swallow after brushing in bed. He NEVER had any issues with his teeth doing it this way.

I'd look at it like your son has PLENTY of time to learn to brush his own teeth. He also has plenty of time to learn to absolutely hate it and not do it correctly or at all if he is FORCED to do it. I know because it used to be a HUGE battle before his dentist told me to do it that way.

Oh and between now and when he's three years old is a good time to bring him to a ped dentist. I went to three before finding one that is child centered. They should speak to your son and tell him EVERYTHING they are going to do. My son's dentist always gives him sun glasses to keep the bright light out of his eyes and they show him on his hand or finger what the tool they are going to use will feel like. Now he's seven and he has no fear of the dentist or brushing his teeth.

Good luck!
S.

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi P. --

Same problem with our daughter, same age. Check old mamasource requests on this topic, some responses have been helpful! One thing that works for us sometimes is to pretend to be hunting for elephants, giraffes, etc who may be hiding in her teeth. She thinks it's really funny and I can generally get at least a few teeth cleaned a night!

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A.G.

answers from Lewiston on

Most nights we just let our 2 1/2 year old just "brush" his own teeth. he has a dora battery powered one. and it tickles his teeth. every chance We can convince him to let us tickle out the sugar bugs, we do. I spoke with our hygenist and she said it was not ideal but at least he is into the routine. and by the time he has his bo9g teeth he will be a pro at getting them clean. She alos said at least twice a day.

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M.M.

answers from Providence on

I had the same problem with my daughter...we bought a mirror just for her and put it where she could see her brushing her own teeth. I or my husband stand in our mirror and brush ours and she brushes hers...she has a better understanding of what she was doing since she can see all her teeth. We have also tried counting our teeth by brushing them one by one.
And as any 2 year old will not always want to co-operate...on those days I made sure we went for a ride at least somewhere and when she was in her carseat I would brush them real quick.
She has been getting lots better lately, we have brought her to the dentist with us so she could see us getting our teeth cleaned and we have checked out books at the library since she is into the whole story thing.
We seem to be making better and better progress each day...just hang in there and don't let them skip brushing thier teeth....stay consistent.
Praise them for every good attempt...it really helps with their confidence. For the most part kids do really want to please their parents. Just stay calm and it will all come together. Good luck.

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E.W.

answers from Boston on

P. try using the flavored tooth paste for a while until he gets into a regular routine then slowly remove it with what ever brand u use i had to do that for my 2 boys hope it works and good luck

E.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I also do the singing - when the song is over, the brushing is over. It's not a long brush, but enough to get her in the habit (remember, these teeth fall out).

Also, I read a great book called "the Blessing of a Skinned Knee" and she had a scenario similar to this. Long story short, she explained to her young daughter that there were things that every member of the family had to do, and brushing her teeth was one of her jobs (or getting her teeth brushed). The mom said she wasn't going to fight about it anymore, it was just something that her daughter had to do, or mom wasn't going to hold up her end of the nighttime bargain. It was genius! My daughter periodically goes through periods of "no tooth brushing" and I can explain to her that brushing her teeth is her job, and if she doesn't want to that's fine, but then I'm not going to do my job of reading her bedtime stories. One night of that tends to work. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Providence on

Hi P.,

First off, I don't think you can put sealants on a 2 1/2 yr old's teeth. They need to have 6yr molars, and if he can't be still to brush his teeth, he'll never get through sealants. It's not painful, but he needs to be able to sit still with his mouth open for about 15 minutes on each side.

If he likes sweets of any kind, refuse them permanently, until he starts brushing his teeth without a battle. Tell him it's because sugary foods are REALLY h*** o* his teeth and if he's not brushing peacefully and regularly, he can't have them. Make sure he is not drinking juice either, same reason, until he starts brushing well. Also, soda (I never gave my kids soda or juice, but most other folks I know do). It's a direct consequence.

Good luck!
S.

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J.P.

answers from Boston on

> I used to distract my daughter with a made-up song, to the tune of
Row, Row Your Boat; when the song was done, the brushing was done:
>
> Brush, brush, brush your teeth
> Brush your teeth I say
> Higgledy-piggledy boppity boop
> We brush them twice a day

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S.G.

answers from Boston on

I have 4 children. First, have him go with you and watch you get a cleaning at the dentist. Have someone bring him and tell the dentist office what you are doing. Your goal is to show him that it does not hurt and is no harm to you. Later....Play dentist with him and ask him to be the dentist. Tell him to count your teeth first and then that he has to get all the sugar bugs off of your teeth with the toothbrush. Later be the dentist for him and check his teeth. Always count them first. It will be fun for him. The first time, don't try to be too thorough. Just go in there and brush lightly. I played dentist with my children every night before they went to bed. Good Luck!
S.

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi P.,

If it's "driving [you] crazy" then he probably senses your agitation and children do not respond well to upset people. Take a deep breath and relax. Try the fun things that other moms suggested. And remember that a 2 1/2 year old child does not have the dexterity, knowledge, and concentration of an adult. Our dentist told us that we need to help with the bushing and flossing until our children are at least 7 years old because they are not able to do it themselves sufficiently until then.

: ) Maureen

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G.D.

answers from New London on

My daughter was the same way. I wanted to cry myself just thinking about having to do it. Her doctor told me no matter how she acted or how it made me feel, it was that important to go through it.
After my husbands visit to the dentist, they told him to get the electric Oral B tooth brush that has the timer on it. It's just a little circle head and my daughter fell in love with it. She would even sneak into the bathroom to use it. So I decided what was the problem with it. I haven't asked the dentist or pediatrician yet, so you may want to check. But if there is something that catches his eye, try it.

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

When I brush my children's teeth, I have them lay their head in my lap to brush. It makes it easier for me to get all the teeth and they do not fight. It also works well for flossing. Make sure you do not use a lot of tooth past and have a bowl for spitting.

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J.G.

answers from New London on

Hi - no time to read other responses - sorry if these are repeats. My younger (3 yr) son has oral aversion issues from being a preemie that was intebated often. We had lots of problems with different oral issues - esp. teeth brushing. Some things that really worked:
- had him brush my teeth while I brushed his teeth (REALLY worked!)
- used a nubby brush (those rubber infant brushes) at other times of the day to desensitize his mouth. Brush along inside of each cheek and edge of tongue.
- we use a Winnie the Pooh spinning brush - he thinks it's really cool. It cleans very well and we can have short brush times when he is really fussy. It also helps make the dentist less scary because he's used to the "buzzy brush". Need to teach child to keep tongue out of the way.
- We have about 5 other manual toothbrushes he can choose from.
- do a dry brush while watching a video (used that when my 23 year old was young and cutting corners). It loosens up the plaque and food stuff, so a quicker brush with toothpaste is okay. When he was older and watch regular TV, he'd do a dry brush from one commercial to the next, then a toothpaste brush for one commercial, then he could watch TV uninterrupted until bed. (That was his only TV time all day so we paired a treat with teeth brushing)
- don't make a big fuss so it doesn't become a power struggle. Start with small, quick brush strokes and each day add to that.
- ask dental hygienist for advice - they know lots of tricks (that's where I got the really useful trick of having him brush my teeth while I brush his - not easy for me, but it really worked - we rarely have problems now - if we do he gets to brush my teeth if he stops fussing).

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C.S.

answers from Boston on

I'm going to second the motion of brushing with 2 toothbrushes. That's what we do with our 2 1/2 year old son, too. I think I got the idea from mamasource about a year ago. He gets to brush with one, which appeases his independence, and I get to brush to actually get it clean in there! :) When we began doing this, I would tell him that the doctor said Mommy has to brush with him, if he ever put up a fight about it. Now it's just part of the routine that we use 2. Good luck!
ps. Toothbrushes can be pricey at the supermarket-as I'm sure you know-so check out the dollar store! They always have kids toothbrushes!

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

At 2 1/2 it's a control thing. Drop the efforts for a few weeks, let him do it himself. His teeth will not rot out of his head with two weeks of bad brushing. Then try a new method. Whta works for us was sugar bugs. He's the superhero, his weapon is the toothbrush and mommy or daddy go in to make sure there are none left.

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D.M.

answers from Hartford on

Hi P., this works like a charm for my son who's just over 2. We say "oh, I see apples on your teeth. We have to brush it off! Oh, and there's some pasta (or cookies, sandwich, juice, milk, etc)" He now tells us what's on his teeth that we have to brush off. I say open wide because I see the banana (or whatever) way in the back to get him to open wide for the back teeth. He has a turn first, then I take over and he can do the final brush if he wants. It works really well and he used cry and clamp his mouth closed before I started this. Good luck!

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C.O.

answers from Boston on

Hi! I didn't take the time to read all your responses, so sorry if I repeat anything! My son will be 3 in November. At this age they still need help with their teeth so I always do his teeth fisrt and then ask him to do the spots I missed. As he got older I needed to incorporate more tricks into the practice. I read this idea in magazine and laughed, thought it was so lame. But it works! Make a game of it and tell your son that he has an animal in his mouth, my son loves monkeys, so we went with a monkey. I would make a gasp and say something like "Look! There is a monkey in your mouth! Let me get him with the toothbrush, we'll brush him right out!" play along until you are satisfied and then tell him "Oh I need your help now to get that monkey out, can you brush your teeth and try and get him!!?" So silly, but worked wonders. It also worked great at the dentist, I told them about the game and they used it with my son to get him to sit still for cleanings, etc.
Hope this helps! Best of luck, C.

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✿.K.

answers from Boston on

If you read up online about sealing teeth it can actually be worse for the teeth unless they get a perfect seal it will actually cause cavaties. My only suggestion is one of you pin him down whild the other does the brushing and try a small sized elctric tooth brush he might clean his teeth better on his own w/ one of them and then tell him when he's done that you need to check and see how sparkly they are. He should be going to the dentist now twice a year. There are plenty of wonderful pediatric dentists that are used to dealing w/ uncooperatice squirmy kids. Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

I had the same issue and agree with P. R. that it could be a control thing. We tried all the gadgets and games and nothing seemed to work consistently. We then had a scheduled visit to the dentist and would mention that to our son as a reason to do a good job. That worked so-so. Then we went to the dentist and he did a great job and the hygenist was so supportive of him that he came away being very proud of his "great" teeth. He now asks to play "Donna the Dentist" (Donna being the dental hygenist) when we brush his teeth. Maybe a trip to the dentist would help. BTW, this son just turned 3 and we have a 6 year old who is a model child with his teeth...just not a model for our 3 year old!!

Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

I have 2 girls, 6 1/2 & 2 1/2, and it was never easy when they were little. The oldest, I actually got her into the routine of, laying her in the hallway, straddling her with her arms between my knees!!! She fought so much when she was little and I refused to let her have rotten teeth, so eventually she knew this was what we were going to do! lol the little one is still hard, but we do the "let me tickle your teethies" game, shell fall for that, and she has a thing about stinky breath so Ill smell it say...nope it still stinks in there, let mom give it a try... any little game... Good luck

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K.N.

answers from Springfield on

For some reason my daughter LOVED the dentist. She felt like it was a special outing. Perhaps it was/is the little present she gets there when she is done. Perhaps it makes her feel grown up. Anyway, she absolutely loved it. So I started asking her if she wanted to play dentist in the evening when it was time for her to brush her teeth. She would lie down on an angle like in the dentist's chair and I would pretend to be the dentist and say all the things about her teeth, " oh these teeht look beautiful. You are dong such a GOOD job of keeping them clean." etc.. She loved that game and was totally willing to keep her mouth open for a good brushing.
THe other trick we used was to name all the things she had eaten that day. As I brished I would pretend to be getting the little pieces of her meals off her teeth. "Oh wait, open a little wider, I think I see some corn you ate for dinner! There's some carrot! There's some milk!" She found this endlessly entertaining and as a result would let me brush her teeth.
Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Boston on

There is a kid's mouthwash (your son may be too young though) that is blue and stains the kids teeth where they are missing. Maybe if he had blue teeth he would want to brush it off? Other than that, I'd say relax a little. He's only two, they are baby teeth and with all of the good role modeling you are giving him, his habits will become better as he matures.

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M.H.

answers from New London on

Hi P.

All I have done for years is tell my 5 year old that he is going to get "cavity creeps" in his mouth if he doesn't brush daily. It works every time! Good luck! M.

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M.F.

answers from Bangor on

Hi P., My 3 y/o just had his first trip to the dentist, they gave some great pointers, we too had been struggling, but this seems to be working well. Get him to open his mouth by modeling after his favorite animal... dinosaur? alligator? we start out by saying show us how an alligator mouth opens his mouth, then talk about what he has eaten that day...as we brush we say the alligator says goodbye apple, cookie, mac n cheese etc. You do have to be fast, but these tips gain you a bit of time and when I'm done I ask him to try and find anything else that I left on his teeth. Good luck! M.

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

Two and a half just isn't old enough to adequately brush his own teeth. It stinks that he pitches a fit, but it has to be done. Perhaps a sticker chart, where he can earn something fun to do may help, a fit free brushing from mom earns a sticker, so many stickers and he gets to do something special, make cookies, etc. We also use many toothbrushes, and pastes,so mine get to pick. After they brush, I go in and brush the "ones they missed" I give, oh this tooth is great, oops, missed one commentary.

As for the seals, mine weren't perfectly sterile when they sealed them, so I got cavities under them. If you don't think he will be still, I would skip them until he is older.
Good luck,
D.

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T.A.

answers from Providence on

Hi I am a dental assistant. Kids don't usually come to our office until they are about three unless there is problem. They wouldn't seal his teeth at this point.As long as he is doing it I'm sure he'll grow out of fighting you.Not many kids love brushing including mine.As long as he does it. As he gets older there can be consequences for not brushing.He can't watch tv or something else he loves until he does it.If you see any dark areas on his teeth definately take him to the dentist.A pediatric dentist is the best bet.Good luck T.

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R.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi P.,

I have a 5 year old and he has been going to the dentist since he was 3. They told me their office does not like to do the sealant until they can be sure the child will not swallow it (it is a liquid that they swish & spit out). Not sure if other dentist use something else but they would not seal my son's teeth when he was that young. Also the hygenist told me that a child does not have the dexterity to brush their own teeth correctly until they are about 8 so it is best to let him brush & then tell the child you need to check them for him to make sure he didn't miss any spots. You can make a game of it & let him check your teeth after you brush & then make him let you check his. If he is able to spit the toothpaste well then they also make a pre-brush rinse (although it is not recommended for kids under 6) that shows blue on the child's teeth where there is build up. my son likes me to use it (and I try to miss a spot or 2) so he can see that even when I brush good I don't always get every spot. It helped him realize has to let me check his teeth because I have had a lot more practice and even I need help sometimes. Hope this helps.

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J.P.

answers from Boston on

He's probably too young to be expected to brush thoroughly on his own.
We started a sticker chart for my daughter. If she cooperates with 3 or fewer requests, she gets a sticker. If we get to the 4th request, it's forceful (and less pleasant for all). When she earns 10 stickers, she gets an extra bedtime story. (You could lower this number to make it more immediate initially.)
Good luck,
J.

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