Seeking Help with 7 Month Old Waking 3 Times a Night for Feedings

Hi, C.! I hear the stress you feel. It's hard to be sleep-deprived and harder to bear crying. Here's my thinking.

Give yourself and your child permission to find your own way. There is nothing that says that your son needs to be sleeping through the night right now. If he's not, he's not. Just not worrying about that might reduce your stress levels a bit. I guarantee to you that he will sleep through the night someday. And it's not usual for children to be wakeful. There's no one right way to be.

There are some practical things you can do. Start by trying to get him down to waking up only once between bedtime and morning. Don't make your objective "sleeping through the night" right now. To do that, push his bedtime back from 6 pm to 7 or even 7:30 pm. That may buy you one wake-up at 1 or 2 and then sleeping until morning. (And 5:30, alas, is not too early for a baby to wake up. That, too, will change but you may have to live with it for now.)

To push bedtime back, make sure he's getting a nap in the afternoon and then that there are things happening in the late afternoon and evening. Get a go-to-bed routine going that is the same every night. He's not too young to be eating solid foods, so be sure he's not hungry (but also not stuffed!) at bedtime.

He's not likely waking up hungry three times in the middle of the night - he's just waking up. So going to him, patting his back, singing softly, putting on a white noise generator... all of these may get him back to sleep without feeding. I would even suggest that your baby's father get up for one of the wake-ups - and not do any bottle-feeding, just soothing. If you can stick with this plan for seven days, you likely will get at least one of the waking times reduced.

Eventually, C., he will sleep longer, I promise you. And nothing you do right now will have long lasting effects. Your son is a very small child, not an adult laboratory rat. You need not fear "training" unwanted behaviors.

If you want to think together about this more, do contact me through my blog at http://mothersmentor.blogspot.com and click on the email link there.

Best wishes!

D.. A

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Hi C.. I also have a 7 month old baby boy. We have a family bed, so when he wakes up to nurse, which is also about 3 times a night, we just get to snuggle and nurse and fall back asleep. I know some people don't do the family bed thing, but I think it is wonderful. I don't like the cry method. I don't think you will be raising a whimp if you answer his cry immediately, you will be raising a confident, secure, happy boy that trusts you!

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Hi C.-

You are very strong indeed for making it this long without much sleep. I just wanted to encourage you to let your baby cry. I'm on my second child now. My first child slept pretty well through on her own with just a little guidance but my second was completely backwards waking up like it was morning at about 8pm at night and then not going down until 4 in the morning. Thankfully I read the book Babywise which institutes feeding on a schedule. You don't not feed them when they're hungry it's more like you wake to feed them when they may miss a feeding due to sleeping. This is a training. I myself wish my mom would have let me cry because to this day I have trouble getting to sleep. She said i would wake really happy like it was party time in the middle of the night and she would hang out with me till I fell asleep. Now I'm having to train myself and my children. Bottom line is that the crying does soothe them and then eventually they don't cry anymore. My second daughter is now 7 weeks old and last night in fact she slept from 11pm to 6 am. This time she didn't cry at all I woke up first. My other daughter is 17 months old and still sleeps through the night 12 hours and wakes up chattering and happy. I just want to encourage you that they will only cry for a little bit because they are resetting there clock. Also my 7 week old besides being barely past new born status is so much more alert now that are days and nights are straight and smiling. whatever you do I wish you well.

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First you will not raise a wimp if you tend to him, I have a 19 year old son and never let him cry it out. He is now very independent and willing to "take risks" because he know we will be there for him. I also did not let me children cry it out at night and yes it took longer for them to sleep through the night but it all turned out fine . I think you should do what is best for you and your family and not worry about your friends and what their baby is doing. Enjoy where you are bc it will be over soon.

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I am the mother of an almost 9-month-old and have been having a great deal of trouble getting her to sleep the night. Babies sleeping through the night is a myth as most moms you talk to do not not have perfect babies who sleep through the night. What works best for me is making sure my daughter gets at least two solid naps during the day. The theory goes if they sleep better during the day they will sleep better at night. I have a hard time getting her to take good naps. Often I lay next to her to get her to sleep. It takes time and energy but the payback is worth it. Set a nap schedule. At the first sign of tired prepare a nap such as feeding and rocking to sleep.

My friend read a book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley(sp?. We, too, refuse to let our children cry it out. Also check Dr. Sears online. They disagree with letting little ones cry it out.

If your 7-month-old is sleeping a few hour stretches, in my opinion, I think that is pretty good. Every kid is different and eventually they will sleep through the night. Set a nap schedule. At the first sign of tired stop your busy life and help your baby get a good nap.

S.

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Hi,
my daughter just turned 2yrs old yesterday & she still gets up 3 times anight to eat. I to have refused to do the crying method & no it does not raise whimps to provide for thier needs when they need you orfood. I was raised the same way ( being attended to when I needed it ) & I will guarentee you that I am no whimp.
Some children have higher metabolisums than others & it is these kids that need the extra meals in the night . I totally would not expect a 7mo to sleep all night - they still have SUCH tiny stomaches to last 8 hrs of sleep .
My advice is DO NOT rush him - give him the chance to be himself & fulfill his needs ( food ,ect) when he asked for it ( crying ,then talking) & you will be a good mom.
Remember that the books that talk about the kids habits & patterns ( ie sleeping thru the night) those are national AVERAGES not definetes.

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I am sure you will get many answers that will tell you that their baby slept though the night...but I know a lot of babies and not one of them regularly made it through the night before well into their second year, neither breast- nor bottle feeders.

There is plenty of relatively new research that suggest that tending to your fussy baby, preferably before he cries is good for him, it supports a healthy bond and helps develop a trusting relationship between parent and child (Dr Sears and John Gottman are two of the more well known names). Extended crying may even have harmful effects on a child's psyche and health.
You are not raising a whimp, but a child that learns that compassion is important and you model this by being a compassionate parent that does not ignore his feelings, be it hunger or just loneliness.

How is it that we think that is is fine to feed a crying newborn's hunger for food, but a few months later some people tell you to ignore your childs emotional hunger for attention?

You have to do what works for your family and your baby.
I get up 2-3 times with my six months old and work 10 hour days - but I am a good sleeper and fall back asleep instantly after (often during) nursing her, thus I am not really sleep deprived.
This obviously is not a good idea if you're so sleep deprived that you can't function. If you feel you must sleep train your baby, there are plenty of methods that do not involve letting him "cry it out". I like the askdrsears website as a start...

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