Seeking All Moms - Williston,ND

Updated on November 28, 2006
M.N. asks from Williston, ND
9 answers

i was wondering how to deal with my 3 and a half year old son who doesn't seem to want to use the bathroom would rather sit in a wet or poopy diaper...i have tried treats,bribary with getting a kitten i just don't know what to do with him anymore the doctor and teachers say to just let him do it on his own but he is almost 4 and i think needs to start...his twin sister has been potty trained for quite awhile now and just need someone elses opinion...all suggestions welcome

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D.W.

answers from Davenport on

Try making going to the bath room fun!! When my second son was going threw this sorta thing, I would throw a few fruit loops or Cheerios in the toliet and tell him to make them sink by peeing on them. He thought this was the neatest thing in the world!! Boys are stubborn!! Hope this works for you!!

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K.B.

answers from Billings on

Take him to the toilet every so often and make him sit there till he goes and make sure he knows hes a big boy now not a baby even if in your heart he's still your baby just be furm and remember the diaper is what he's used to and he's probably scared so try things to make it less scarry but be furm and stick with it he will catch on and try to make it fun and celabrate when he goes show him how proud you are in time he will get it just stick with it

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L.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I am afraid to say that they are right, your son gets to decide when he is ready. However it doesnt hurt to keep inticing him with things. My son was potty trained with Spider-man. He was and still is at 7, with the man. Anyways, we bought him the first movie, which he had to watch every nite. So we came up with a compremise, if he had an accident, no movie that night. We had no pee accidents and 2 poopy ones the first month and none after that. (my son has a bed wetting problem at night, but that is a different situation, your son may or may not do that same things for a while) Another suggestion I have for you is to make it into a game. I know of a gal who used cheerios to help potty train her son. She would throw in 2-3 and see if he could hit them with his pee. They had some kind of point system and rewards ;) for the points too. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

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T.P.

answers from Omaha on

All kids are different..and i've heard boys are harder, take longer than girls do. my son is almost 3 in January, and he was doing good for a while, but then started throwing fits when 'I' would bring up going potty. my husband how ever, can get him to go in there no fits, and go. i was about in tears one day.. but my husband and my dr office reminded me, it's ok to take a break for a while. and to wait for him to decide when. i keep telling myself that 'what kindegartner do you see not potty trained'. so i take a break from it .. like now. i don't mention it much.. but i do just change his diaper like usual. we mention things like, 'won't it be great when you are in undies/big boy pants and don't have to wear a diaper any more?'.. 'that will be so much fun'.. when he does throw a fit the times i have brought it back up to see if he's ready again, i usually just say, 'ok no problem'.. with no tones of what i'm really feeling like,,' oh come on already.'..hahaha..
i think you should give yourself and him a break and leave it alone for a bit.(even though ALL the books i have read say not to stop once you start),,which is crazy to me,, and my dr office.. so i'm going with what is right for us right now..
i think if you asked a bunch of people they would say their 'son' wasn't potty trained till going on 4.. girls are quicker, i hear.. i have a girl too who just turned 2. she sits on the potty,, but not much interest there..
good luck,, :-))

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L.E.

answers from Boise on

I just wanted to encourage you....you're not alone! I, too, have a 3 1/2 yo son who is not potty trained and will be turning 4 in 3 mos. Just like you, have tried everything with no success. My doctor has also told me it's ok and not to stress, he will learn when he is ready. If it makes you feel any better, I heard on a family podcast, that children that potty train later are very intelligent. So, we have a couple of brilliant boys with a bright future! Preferrably free of diapers! :0)

Blessings to you and your household,
L.

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

Some boys won't train until almost 4. you'll go through periods when they are really interested and when they're not. Even when they're not you still need to at least go to the bathroom and try. We has our son drink a glass of water while sitting on the potty. and after a few minutes he'd usually go at least a little. I think with boys it seems they sometimes need help recognizing what it feels like just before they go. and sitting in the bathroom for our son (no distractions) seemed to help. We also had our son help clean up the mess if he had an accident (cause/effect) It might sound gross, but if in the process he dropped a chunk then he picked it up. hands wash and at this point most 3 1/2 year olds aren't going to stick their hands in their mouth. I think he started to associate that it takes less time to just go in the potty, than to have to clean it up. And boys are usually such goers that it think sometimes it a time thing. Not wanting to take time to do it, because it's interrupting what he's doing. Potty training takes a lot of time but if you stick it out you get it done

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M.R.

answers from Davenport on

The only thing I would add to the other comments is one thing. Are you sure he is CAPABLE at this point to potty train? One of my boys was physically incapable to train until he was 7(!) due to bladder problems. He was otherwise 100% physicaly so I had no reason to think he had any physical problem. As soon as he was capable it was almost overnight. Just a thought to keep in the back of your head. Best wishes.

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G.L.

answers from Omaha on

Hi M.,
I have fraternal 3 yr old twin boys myself. So I know what you are going through. Even though they are twins, remember that they are no more alike than any other 2 siblings. Your daughter trained first because girls usually train quicker than boys. So fon't feel that her getting potty trained is any indication that your son is ready too. He will be ready in his own time. So I have to agree with what his doctor and teacher on this, even though it seems like it is taking so long.

We are potty training currently ourselves. My suggestion is to continue introducing the potty issue. Make the rewards very clear.

We started off with: If they went potty, they got a piece of candy(They turned 3 just before Halloween), a sticker on their shirt to show off to each other, and a sticker on their chart to show how well they were doing. And the big reward for being potty trained was going to see the movie Cars in the theater.

They were struggling still with staying dry and unsoiled, but would still try to go when asked. So we switched to candy for dry/unsoiled underwear and stickers for #1 & #2 in the toilet. And since Cars was no longer in the theater I bought the DVD so they could look at the DVD case and have the reward in their hands to make it more real. We have not broken the seal. I have them try to go potty about every 40 minutes now. I tried to let them tell me when they had to go yesterday and it didn't work well. So I am back to having them go every 40 minutes until they are ready to try on their own time table again.
Hope this helps.
G.

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T.T.

answers from Denver on

First of all, don't worry about it so much. It's not that unusual for a boy of his age to still be in diapers. If you stop pushing, he will decide on his own that he is ready. My son is 3 as well and has no interest in the potty. Every now and then I ask if he'd like to use it, or we read a book about using the potty, but he will eventually get there. Also, try taking him shopping to pick out his new underwear and then set a date to put away the diapers and put him in underwear. Talk about it a little every day and then on that day, just put him in underwear. It will be more uncomfortable for him to be in wet pants than a wet diaper. You may be doing a lot of extra laundry for a little while, but sometimes it is much easier to do it that way. Don't compare him to your other children because that might make things worse. Let him watch his older brother use the potty (if brother is okay with it!) or another male relative that you trust. My mother-in-law put cheerios in the toilet to teach my husband how to aim when he was little and he thought that was great fun. But don't stress about it, that's the worse thing you can do! He'll come around, don't worry.

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