Seeking Aggressive Solution for Tantrums in 14Mo Old Twin

Hi A.,

My oldest son had problems at night sleeping, it seem to me that he was afraid of the dark and come to find out that's what it was. He is now 8 years old and still afraid of sleeping at night by himself. I just try to comfort him as much as I can and give him plenty of light in his room. He just now in the last year started sleeping in his own bed. When they are that young as yours is it is so hard to figure out what is wrong. I really don't know what to say to help! I could never get him to sleep by himself, he would go all night and I just could not take it.

So just hang in there! Don't get mad at her until you find out what is making her so upset for so long.

Good Luck!
M.

I'm actually having the same problem with my 22 month old. I have already taken her baby bed down because I nursed when she was an infant and we co-slept. Now that she's older she still sleeps with my husband and I (which he hates) but I hope to put her on her baby bed mattress on the floor soon! Anyway to get back to the original issue I can't put her in her bed and close the door like I'd like so I'm thinking of buying a pack and play and just using it for a time out of sorts...otherwise I'm going to go crazy! I have realized though that she does it mostly when she's either tired or hungry. I'm anxious to see what responses you get so that I may use some of your ideas!

For tantrums I recommend "Happiest Toddler on the Block" DVD. The Dallas Library near our house has it. It is worth watching. It has helped us with our little one.
However, it doesn't sound like your daughter is having a tantrum. If I were you I would go see another doctor just to rule out any medical problems. It never hurts to get a second opinion. Going on for hours is not a normal tantrum. Something else is going on....
Good Luck

If it's only in the middle of the night, it's not just a tantrum. I'm not sure when night terrors start happening. She seems a little young for them, but maybe it's possible. If it's not something like teething (one year molars caused big problems for both of my kids) or an ear infection, you'll need to treat it like a sleep problem.
Ignoring her completely is probably not the best thing as you've no doubt figured out by now. If she needs comforting, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Try some of the sleep training tactics in the Happiest Baby on the Block or in another book called Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. Both of them instruct you on how to comfort the child but also maintain good sleep habits (she sleeps in her own bed, not yours, she goes to sleep without needing to take a bottle or be rocked, etc.) I'm sure you thought you were done with sleep problems once they started sleeping through the night, but, unfortunately, there will be interruptions every once in a while for the next couple years (we've just gotten through one of these phases with our 3 year old!).
For the short term, I'd make sure there's not a medical issue, then start on some of the sleep methods in one of those books. It could take 3 days to a week before everyone is sleeping peacefully again. Just know to prepare yourself for a process that takes several days. Unfortunately, there won't be an over-night solution.
As far as your regular tantrum -- usually because she doesn't get her way, someone took something away from her, etc. You certainly don't want to give in. This is where you probably want to ignore her outburst, scoop her up and put her in her crib until she calms down. You can tell her that she can come play again when she's sweet. This is a toddler version of "time out." She just needs to be in there for a minute or two before you go get her and let her resume playing. You'll likely have to take her in there several times for one "incident" (and you'll get pretty tired of running back and forth to the baby room with a screaming kid), but over a few days it should get less and less.
Hope this helps!

If it's happening in the middle of the night, I wonder if this is night terrors and not tantrums. Usually a tantrum is in response to something -- a protest so to speak -- where ignoring might work. (I recommend the Happiest Toddler on the Block book or dvd since it really helped us).

Night terrors will wake the baby up and make them scream. I pulled this information off of Dr Sear's website for you:

Characteristics of night terrors:

Your child seems frightened, but cannot be awakened or consoled.
Your child may sit up in bed, or walk around the room, screaming or talking senselessly.
Your child doesn't acknowledge you, his eyes may be open but he seems to stare right through you.
Objects or persons in the room might be mistaken for dangers.
Episodes usually last between 10 and 30 minutes.
Usually occur in children 1 to 8 years old.
Your child cannot remember the episode in the morning.
Usually happens within 2 hours of falling asleep.
Night terrors are harmless and each episode will end on its own.

Why does a child get night terrors?
Night terrors are an inherited problem and occur in about 2% of children. It is as if the child is having a bad dream during deep sleep and cannot wake up. Night terrors are not caused by psychological stress, but they seem to be associated with being overtired.

Will my child outgrow this problem?
Yes, most children with night terrors will stop having them by age 12, usually sooner.

What should I do when my child is having a night terror?

1. Help child go back to sleep.
Do not try to awaken your child. Turn on the lights so that your child won't be confused by shadows. Remain calm, talk in a soothing tone, "you are okay, you are at home, you are in your own bed, you can go back to sleep". Again, speak calmly, and keep repeating these soothing comments. You can try holding his hand or snuggling him, but if he pulls away don't persist. Don't try to wake him with shaking or shouting, this will only agitate him more and prolong the attack.
2. Protect him from getting hurt.
Keep you child away from stairs, windows or sharp objects. Try to gently direct him back to bed.
3. Educate your caregivers.
Be sure to warn babysitters, family members, or others who might be caring for him at night. Explain to them what to do in case of an attack, so that they don't overreact.

Can night terrors be prevented?
The following exercise has been shown to stop night terrors in 90% of children. For several nights, keep track of the time between falling asleep and the onset of the night terror. Then, wake him up 15 minutes prior to the expected time of the episode, get him out of bed and fully awake for 5 minutes. Do this for seven consecutive nights. If the night terrors recur, repeat the seven nights of awakenings.