Seeking Advice-- Working Mom Traveling a Lot for a Job

Dear S.

your daughther is a gift from god. I know that sometimes we moms have to work. But ask yourself this question. It is worth trading your job for the precious time you have with your gift from god. I remeber when i had my theresa my husband will work days and i will work sat and sundays so that we could both have our time with her and no one had to take care of her. Your daughter is going to grow up fast and you will miss precious time . Have you taught about working part time or living on one income, down seizing so that you can be home with your daughter and at the same time save your family and marriage and your sanity. May i suggested also seeking god's will for you and for your family read proversbs 3:5-6 "trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" seek him who created you he will give you guidance i promise that if you seek him with all your heart you will find him. You owed it to you, and your family. Blessing some who is concerned. C.

Have you ever thought about working from home or even cutting your schedule by half and working from home some of the time? I am a WAH mom in the wellness industry and love it. It is the best opportunity by far and I get to be home with my two year old son. I was previously a teacher and now get to educate others about wellness. You can't go wrong with no deliveries to make, no inventory to carry and no risk. If you would like more information please let me know.

J.
http://www.GetwithitGoGreen.com

Hi S.,
I don't think you are trading one problem for another...you just really have to figure it out. I would much rather be gone for a day ro two a week and then have all of the other time off (well, working ffrom home where you can still use a sitter for times you absolutely cannot work with her around - which at that age will be often). Good luck and research it carefully.

Hi S., My Sister-in-law does a ton of traveling durring the fall and spring. She, my brother and their son have coped very well over the last five years with it. She makes sure that she uses every bit of travel time count for work, tries to incorperate family time with at least one trip a year, and has a great family plan in place. They don't have family where they live, so my brother's job has to be flexiable (and it is!). I think the trick to coping with a job that involves travel is having a strong partnership and great organizational skills. If you have great day care or a great privet sitter that's half the battle. Working around travel can't be any harder than working 12 hours a day when in the long run, (hour to hour) you will actually be home more. This is a tough decision, and one you really need to discuss with your hubby more than anyone else. Best wishes and good luck!

Not to sound harsh, but your current situation sounds miserable. Anything would be better than that. I can't imagine why your current job won't let you work from home sometimes. I think you should definitely take the new position. I also work full time and have crazy hours like you, but what keeps me sane is that I get to work from home whenever I don't have customers calls so i get to see my son throughout the day. I have a full time nanny, but just being able to hear him giggle downstairs or have lunch together makes working full time so much more bearable. The flexibility of working from home will very much make up for the travel piece of the new job. You will also be able to through a load of laundry in, meet at a friend at lunch and other perks that working from home allows. Good luck.

I read your post (twice) and I hear where you're coming from. However, from my experience (and its been an interesting 2 years out from the military) its best to sit down an make a list of "absolutes" and "nice to haves." When I first entered the civilian world after the birth of my son, I decided to stay home for 6 months because I couldn't stand to be so far away from him as a baby - I tried working and putting my infant in daycare. Then I started working as a consultant when my son was 6 months old and this took me "away" on local trips, working 12 hours a day and commuting. I had my husband and mother to pick my son up from daycare, but I felt I was missing time spent with my 7-8-9 month old. When I accepted another job offer as a manager in Fairless Hills I thought it was a better situation; however, it was still around an hour on the turnpike commute and that meant dropping Troy off at 7am and picking him up at 6pm (rushing to get there, every day I felt guilty). Well, I didn't have to make any decisions here as I was laid off in March and have been home with my son since. I have been applying for work and have been evaluating job offers since then. What I am realizing, and have found when speaking to other women in my predicament, is that our budgets would be better off possibly taking lower paying (less responsibility) jobs in our immediate area. Also looking into work from home or "co-op" type of jobs too. I can't believe how much childcare runs (I was paying $245 for full time, which was going to be raised in Sept to $263) and gas too!! Recently, I found a center that charges per day or half day for what my part time schedule would be -- for example, each day is $56 for my 2 year old and if I need additional care, its $8 an hour. I have also been investigating jobs that will allow me to take my son with me. The best deal would be a corporation close to home with its own childcare facility.
Ultimately what I am saying is that things happen to help us make better decisions. If you are having misgivings about things now, I really don't think you will be happy with this decision in the future. Either way I wish you the best of luck. For me, my son's only young once and I feel this time is precious. I'm willing to withdraw from the corporate world at this time and live modestly in order to spend quality time with my son.

Hey S.
I don't have any advice on travelling as I have a wonderful work from home business that allows my 3 kids to work right beside me.However,I encourage you to check out this link,and see what you are really taking home from your paycheck.
Here is a link to MacGregor’s cost of living chart that uses a second salary of $40,000 as an example: http://cnnfn.com/1999/02/22/life/q_income/chart.jpg

S.
www.liveyourdreamsathome.com

S.~
I completely understand your concerns and issues. I to am a professional working mom who did spend a majority of time traveling all over the country for work. I eventually worked with my company to find a more suited position that allowed me flexibility and no more travel.
Based on you having another offer on the table I say negotiate with your current company and let them know your concerns, if they are not willing to work with you during this time then I say farewell and find a new job!
Company's need to respect the working mother and realize we have so much to offer, but need flexibility.
Good Luck!

HI S.!

I know you'll get a lot of advise from all of the wonderful Mom's that belong to this site! what a great tool! I do not travel and I am a Mom that believe's 100 % that we Mom's need a source of income for ourselves and a life!!! I went back to corportate America 2 months after the birth of my 1st son. When he was 2 weeks old my computer came home for me to work from home with my little bundle of joy sleeping beside me while I worked. After dropping him off at day care for 8 months, I realised I was missing so much already. I became a part time employee until #2 came along. My main focus became my children. I have 3 now and also work 3 home based business's that totally involve my children! You can never get back the lost years. They mean so much to your child! Mom is #1 in their eyes. I moved to Florida last week and brought my buisness's with me and I have already started sharing my opportunities with other Moms and the local school & church! If you'd like more info., please feel free to contact me! I wish you the best in your decision and please think about your little precious baby girl! Take Care! L.

I am also a professional working mom and changed jobs about 18 months ago to have more flexibility and work from home when not traveling. I am only required to travel about 25% of the time - about one week a month. I do consider it a lot better than working out of the house full-time. I love the fact that I can be home when my daughters are sick and able to take them to doctors appointments and all of the other flexibility that comes with working from home. The one problem that I have with working from home is that you never get away from work. The problems I have with traveling is that my daughters get very upset when I travel. They are 3 years and 22 months so only a little older then your daughter and I think the change in their routine is very hard. My husband also seems to have a hard time on the nights that I'm not here but I think that is because I typically do most of the nighttime routine with my daughters so they aren't very cooperative with him. Those are the problems I face with the travel.

Hi S. S.

I would like to introduce by business to you. I am a Small Business Owner, the industry is Hospitality. My partner is Mary Kay Cosmetics. Yes, I work at home and have the time to take my son to the Doctor,School trips, family trips and dinner with my family. Family time is important to me and I read it is also important to you. I would like to speak to you more about been with your family and still bringing an income. Send me an e-mail or visit my website, click MK business. You can read up on the business.

You definitely sound unhappy with the current job-and rightly so. Therefore, I would try the new job, and worry about the new problems later. My husband is the one who travels, and when he is gone, the kids are fine, and when he is home he has more time with them and they spend long days together working in the yard or going to the park or on errands, it's really important to bond through daily activities. I work at home, and they are sick of me! In a good way. I can take breaks to read to them etc, or they even play in the room with me while I work, which is distracting, but I wouldn't trade it. This works really well for us, so maybe it would for you too. No matter what, you should work your way out of the job that allows you no flexibility -as you've been doing already. Best wishes and good luck getting some time for your daughter!

Hi S.,
Let me say I can totally relate your dilemma. I have but currently do not, travel for my job.
Right now, my husband travels a fair amount of time. You would really need to have a set schedule for child care if you travel 40%.
I had my first (and only) child at 39. I had worked FT for 20+ years after college. I had all intentions of paying for FT daycare and continuing my career after my Maternity & FMLA leave. Thank God my parents stepped up and asked if they could watch my son for the first year. What a blessing to have parents caring for my son!
I worked FT for a few months and got very upset about the fact that I would get home, dinner bath & bed for him. I was only spending about 1-2 hrs per evening with him. I decided to switch to PT--still lucrative b/c of my salary & company history. I had a very accommodating female boss who understood when I told her I did not wait 39 years to have a child only to spend 1 or 2 hours per day with him. I worked 3 days per week.
Then, after a year and a half of that I was laid off due to a downsizing and my boss needed to keep all of the FT manpower she had. I got another PT job, at less than half the money.
Then I was called back to my original job and now work 2 days per week. Five years after his birth my mom is still watching my son. What a blessing!
I guess my point is through FT work, PT work, unemployemnt and a lower paying job, we were OK b/c we live within our means and are not extravagant. We don't do without either. Somehow it works out whether you're making $60K per year or $20K per year. And if you decide to try living on your salary of $0K per year...that can work out too. You'd be amazed what expenses you save when you stay at home or work less (child care, lunches out, gas, car expenses, clothing, etc.).
Personally, I don't think the job change you described will improve your situation all that drastically. My advice to you would be to listen to your gut and do what you think you need to do. It does sound like trite advice, but I have found it to be true: They are only little once and you can't get these little days back! Make the most out of the time you have together and enjoy every second. It flies by! Be prepared, if you decide to change your job description to SAHM, the job is very demanding (the hardest job I ever had!) but also the most rewarding! Good luck to you and your family and God Bless! :)

Hello S.,

I can completely empathize with you and your dilemma. I have worked from home and had to travel since my first was born 11 years ago. I love the flexibility of working from home - taking an hour to have lunch with the kids, making it to school for the holiday party and to doctor's appointments without necessarily scheduling a vacation day is a great bonus. Like another woman pointed out however, working from home takes a lot of discipline. It is easy to get carried away with your new found flexibility and freedom. It is a balancing act and you need to remain focused to ensure all needs are satisfied.

I have 3 children. My husband has been very supportive of my career and the unfortunate travel that comes with it. It is hardest when the kids are young. Once they turned 2 or so, it got a lot easier. I never like leaving them; I miss them terribly, but I do love my job and enjoy having the "permission" in the evenings to be me and not "mom".

Last year I thought working from home was not all that it was cracked up to be, especially when i was offered a job making a much higher base salary but had to be in an office. The job for me lasted one year. The money was nice as were the people however going into the office AND traveling meant I felt like I was never home for my family. I am now back to working from home with travel and I am happier than ever.

When you think about this job offer look at it objectively - can you schedule your own travel, are you expected to be gone for a week at a time or is 2-3 days a week enough? Can you drive or take the train to any of your appointments and make them one day trips so you are back home in the evenings? There are things you can do to make the travel easier. Finally, make sure your husband is on board - you will need his support, especially in the beginning, in order to feel good.

Good luck as you make your way. If you have any questions, feel free to email me!

H.

Hi S.,
For a change right now, the new job can't be any worse than the one you have right now. At least you will have more time with your little girl then you are having right now. You can always keep looking for another job in the meantime -- full time or part time.
I have a 10 month old son and I am lucky enough to work from home. I do have to travel about 7 weeks a year ( not as much as you will have to ) but it's worth being able to pay the extra bills that come up and stay home with my son. Being able have breakfast, lunch and dinner with him, along with put him to bed most nights is amazing. I don't have to put him in child care.
But working from home brings other problems too - It is hard to sit down at a computer and be on a phone when your son keeps stealing your mouse or trying to type on your keyboard at the same time you are. I have my office set up as a playroom for him - but I've found that hiring a local kid to come in a few days a week after school helps a great deal ( much cheaper then daycare). I get caught up on work so I don't fall behind. I also work a lot of nights after he goes to sleep and weekends when my husband is around.
Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled to be able to be with my son all the time, and love that I am able to do it. But it isn't what everyone assumes as easy - but for me - the pros outweigh the cons.
Good Luck!

I just left a higher paying, long hours job to take a 9-5 in a new field of work. I was so scared about the $$$, but it is working out. Just make a commitment to your child and find something that will work out better. 40% travel sounds 100% awful to me. I hope you find something that will work for you.

While I know some people don't believe in this, if I have a really big decision to make I pray about it. I believe only God knows if something is truly going to work out for us. We can trust our instincts but sometimes we need a little extra help. I have done this so many times when I've had to make big decisions in my life. He has always let me know by a warm comfortable, peaceful feeling if something is right. If it is wrong I just continue to be panicked and worried about it. Some decisions have so much at stake that I have taken this very seriously. When I've truly felt that peace everything works out great. Its taken some time to learn how to interpret my answers but I know prayers are answered. Good luck in whatever you choose this is really a very difficult descion.

Hi S.,

I have worked at jobs that require a lot of travel and they can be exhausting! When I first moved to Pittsburgh, I had a job based in Boston and I was basically gone Mon-Fri and home on weekends. Sometimes I would come home for an overnight during the week but then was back on the road again. It was exhausting and I only lasted 8 months at it (and that was before having kids). After my son was born, my company was purchased by another company. My travel went from 3-4 times per year to 1-2 times per month. I was lucky that my son's nanny was willing to travel with me so I took my son and his nanny on all of my business trips - but it was hard - carting all of that stuff through airports and the long days when you are on the road. I lasted at that until he was 15 months old then I quit. I now run my own business and work from home and love it. But the hours are even longer than when I was in the office. The good thing is - I work on my own schedule, so a lot of my work gets done after my son goes to bed at night or while he is napping.

I think if you do take this job it can be very exciting and exhausting at the same time. I would say - give it a try - you can always look for something else if you don't like it - and if it gives you more vacation, better pay and work-at-home days - you may just find that the trade off of traveling is worth it.

Good luck with your decision.

J.

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I am not a working mom but I discussed this with my hubby who is away more than half the year at different job sites, it's probably closer to 7 or 8 months but what he said was that he would gladly trade that (because it's more than 50%) to only travel 40% and be able to spend that time with our kids and me. I can undetstand why you might feel like you are trading one problem for another but what I think you shoul ask yourself, is the other 60% percent of the time being at home with your daughter worth it, minus losing the 40? You say you only get about an hour and a half with her anyway. Weigh out all your options and whatever your heart tells you to do, just do it. Good luck!

Dear S.,
Before making your decision, you may find it helpful to sit down with your prospective employer and get ALL the details IN WRITING! I work from home a transcriptionist. At present, I am working exclusively on Unemployment Comp cases. I can tell from my workload that if you don't get it in writing, they're under no legal obligations. Likewise, though, if they do give it to you in writing, they ARE under legal obligations & if they do NOT follow what you have in writing, you could have grounds to quit.
Also, it might be helpful to write a list of the pros & cons of staying where you are or taking the new job.
I will be praying for you & your husband as you make this decision. I noticed that you already had one post from a Mary Kay consultant, and as one myself, I would also say that it is a wonderful opportunity. You sound like a very driven lady & you would probably be able to replace your current income in less than a year. A friend of mine from college became a director (with 30 consultants under her) and earned a company car (at no expense to her, except insurnace) within two years of signing her initial agreement. Now might be the perfect time to "take the plunge".
At any rate, whatever your decision, may God bless your efforts. :)