Seeking Advice. Toddler Won't Nap at School/Montessori?

Updated on August 21, 2015
S.S. asks from Papillion, NE
12 answers

Ran across this site, I have a question about my 19 month old toddler. She just started Montessori this week, and she has literally not napped a wink, for this whole week. And they have tried so many different things to help her get to sleep, I gave my advice and normal successions with small stuffed animals, music, being left alone, making the mat thicker, nothing.

I understand it is a new place, but she normally takes up to a 3 hour nap so she has been an absolutely angry terror when she gets home due to having 0% of that. She also is not used to mats, she still happily sleeps in the a crib and is comfortable that way and in pack and plays away from home. At this school they are trying to get her to sleep on a mat surrounded by children, she has never slept on a bed none the less a mat. I don't know what to do, just let them keep trying and hope for the best? I am almost tempted to offer them a pack and play at this point but that just sounds ridiculous.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I will defiantly consider everything talked about below. We'll give it another week or two and go from there on what to do. As for why we started this so early is because they have a toddler program, and she has no siblings and just one play mate across the hall whose family is often much much too busy. So our home gets a bit boring, and she is very puzzled on interacting with other kiddos right now.

She'll share with adults! She'll give you all her cookies! But another kid tries that? No sir! She will scream at them as loud as possible. She has startled many a toddler. And at this program they help teach proper sharing, and how we don't take things from other kids if they are working on something. And music classes, and over all just a terribly fun day. Just got to get that nap down! Haha.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

whenever I worked in daycares like that we would pat the backs of kids that needed help falling asleep, it's a new place, it's hard to adjust, aside from not having her be there at nap time you just have to leave it to them to do their jobs and get her to nap
If they aren't willing to do that then you know they do not have the child's developmental needs as the key to their philosophy and you need to find a new place for her. If they would let her have a pack and play then offer that. But seriously it will just take her a bit of time to get used to the new concepts of napping in a group, it will be ok.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Keep in mind that a week is a really short amount of time. It very often takes kids a few weeks to adjust at her age.

I know the teachers asked you for advice, but I would be very surprised if your daughter is the first child they've encountered that struggled with napping in a new situation. Most children her age have never napped in a room full of kids before. I'm sure they have some tricks up their sleeves but thought they'd ask you for ideas in the hopes that one of your ideas might work.

It's really hard when your little one is adjusting to a new situation like this. I remember feeling very responsible for every little thing when my youngest started daycare at 2 1/2. The director let me know that while the teachers were very experienced and that my son wasn't doing anything strange or out of the ordinary. It took a few weeks, but he adjusted to the new routine and napping there and began jumping out of the car as fast as he could to get inside.

Your little one just needs some time. If you think the pack-n-play would help, go ahead and ask them about it. But keep in mind that her teachers might rather just get her used to the mat knowing that if they use the pack-n-play now it would just be temporary and she'd have to get used to the mat eventualy.

Hang in there, but she is going to be fine :-)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I'm curious why a toddler is at a Montessori school?

I'm all for developmentally appropriate and prevention. Toddlers are too young for school.

19 mo is too young to sleep on a mat surrounded by other children. It's just not age appropriate.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's all new and exciting to her.
It's only been a week - and some kids need a lot more time till the routine and place is familiar enough to be relaxing.
At my son's Montessori school, they had little cots and some kids needed slightly more secluded corners of a room than others.
Those who didn't need naps had to be quiet on their cots and look at picture books.
How about you have her take a nap when she gets home after a snack?
She'll adjust eventually.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

Give her time it's also new.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

you can't force sleep.
this is a very small person, and she's in a very new situation, and she's been there a very very short time.
i'm not sure what you expect the school to do. she's not going to get her own bedroom. they're handling it just fine, but YOU need to stop faffing about with animals, music, new mats, and yeah, no pack and play.
give her some time to adjust.
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Des Moines on

I guess18 months is very young age to go to school. However, it's just a week time since your kid joined there. Give her some time to get used to.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Portland on

I'm trying to remember what age ours went from cribs to mats at our daycare. I think it was around the same age.

It's a big adjustment, but they do adjust. I know it's very worrisome and upsetting to a parent - especially things like sleep, which your daughter needs. One of my kids had to have his back rubbed in order to fall asleep - this went on for about a week. Another one of my kids stopped napping altogether when they went to daycare (at around 2 1/2) and I just had to put his bedtime ahead.

I think it will come. Even if she's laying there and resting for now, it's still rest time. Give it a while - sounds like you are doing everything you can to help her. We always sent a soft blankie (not sure if they allow that anymore) that was exactly like the one at home. I always bought two. That was a comfort to ours.

Good luck :)

1 mom found this helpful

S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

welcome to the site. I would say let them keep trying - what else is there to do? you're not there. you can't force her to take a nap from work or home. give it some more time. I'm sorry it's having a bad effect on home life, I can imagine what a terror she is at night lol. kids must have their sleep. eventually she will get used to the new situation and adjust. the teachers have to do the same - if what they're doing isn't working, they must either adjust their sails, or keep pushing at her and wait till she caves. it's really on them. maybe if it goes on another week or so, offer the pack n play, but don't be hurt or offended if they decline - this is their job, they need to deal with it their way. I'm sure yours isn't the first who has had trouble. hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If you think she needs a crib, would they consider that? At my DD's daycare, they did occasionally need to put a 1 yr old in a crib during the transition to the new room, as the child would.not.nap otherwise. My sister's daycare uses cots, and that's common, but it sounds like it doesn't really work for your DD.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Do the pack and play. It does not sound ridiculous. Your child needs sleep.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I know child care. No, they don't want to lose their license by having a baby bed or a pack and play in the room. They are required to follow the child care laws. Your child will get used to this.

Your child would have been started sleeping on a mat in the baby room at around 11 months of age so they'd have been ready for mats in the toddler classroom. A month to get ready for mats.

Please don't expect her to all of a sudden accept this. The teachers have experience and they know how to work with this. Your child will eventually start taking naps again. It will work out.

There isn't any reason to not take her to this, okay? So many moms make comments about it's not needed and don't take them.

What if suddenly they had no more husband and had to go to work. Then they'd feel differently. Child care is highly regulated and if this is a good quality program it is good for her.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions