Dear moms,
I need really your help and advice. I have 5-year-old daughter, who is I think gifted child. He has great musical "ears." She would play songs on the piano just from listening. So I decided to get a piano teacher. The teacher came to our house and my daughter just completely refused to play and cooperate. I tried the lesson again, no change. So I decided to get her a break and I thought she is just not ready. Just today, I tried another piano teacher, we went to her house, and there we go again. My daughter completely refused to even sit behind piano and even talk to the teacher. All she was saying is, I want to go home and I don't like her playing. Forget my embarrassment, but I am so frustrated with her behavior. She is currently in the Kindergarden, doing great, following directions... no problem at all. I don't want to push her, but I see the talent and the gift she has. What should I do?? Please help! Thanks!
I want to thank everyone for such a wise advice. I will wait and definitely not push her. Thank you again wonderful ladies:-))) I really have a peace of mind now:-)
Stop trying to force her to take lessons and let her keep doing it on her own.
If she is ever to become a gifted musician, the motivation will have to come from her. Forcing her will accomplish nothing.
You have led the horse to water; but she is refusing to drink, and you can't make her. Drop it, or you will take all joy out of the piano for her.
She is simply not ready to share her gift with a stranger. Let her tell you when she's ready or let her get to know the instructor, build trust and acceptance. If you push her what good are you doing to help her grow. Good luck and be patient.
You have received great advice.
Let me share a little advice from a M. with a gifted musician. My son is 11 and amazing when it comes to music..has been composing his own songs for years and can listen to a song and then go play it. We let him guide us as to what HE wants to do. He begged for drum lessons at age 8. Oh...boy..drums?! But..we went with his passion. We got him into private lessons and he has grown so much over the years. His instructors have counseled us that if he ever wants to quit then let him. He has a gift and will continue pursuing music on his own because it is such a big part of his world. They have stressed to never push music on a child..they will rebel and end up pushing against you just to snub you...then you fight and waste money.
The music teachers have also stressed the importance to expose him to various forms of music to widen his "ear" for music.They said to Let him try out other instruments too. So, he asked to do trumpet at school and wants to take piano lessons. Music really needs to be child led, but parent supported and be open to introducing different ways to explore music.
If your daughter shrinks in front of a teacher. Find some piano cps, orchestra/symphony cd's and play them throughout the day. Get a beginners piano book and put it out on the piano. Don't talk to her about it...if she has a real interest she will start plinking around eventually with the lessons and scales. THen when she gets a bit more mature talk to her again about lessons.
Music is such a gift to offer a child. It allows freedom to express feelings and can be so therapeutic to the heart and soul. Your daughter loves music already...don't make it a chore to her.
Good luck and best wishes!!
She's not interested.
Let her enjoy music her way--for now.
Tell her to let you know when she's ready for lessons!
Would you want to be forced to do something that's supposed to be fun, that isn't fun to you? She's 5. I think you're reading too much into it. Try out some different activities & see if there's anything else she really enjoys. Just because someone is good at something, doesn't mean they enjoy doing it. In the meantime, let her be 5... she has plenty of time left for lessons & learning.
I agree with the others - drop it for now, try again in a year or 2...I didn't start piano lessons until I was 7. It doesn't matter what kind of talent or gift you think she has...if she's emotionally not ready for formal lessons and not interested, she's better off waiting. She might also decide she wants to learn to play something else, like guitar or violin.
Take a break. And revisit the lessons, IF that is what she wants.
It does not have to be piano.
I took piano as a kid.
I HATED it. We had a baby grand piano. I STILL HATED IT.
I would, RUNAWAY, at the time it was my lesson. I would hide outside in our yard. And stay there, until I knew it was too, late.
I hated piano. I rather do other things and other instruments.
Try getting an iPad, it has an app on it called "Garage Band" in which you can learn instruments, hear it, play it and even compose your own music on it. Even Pro's use it. My kids... play on it and compose music on it, by ear.
It can ALSO be used, by putting it on the piano, and then while sitting AT the piano at the same time, a child/adult can then learn (on their own thru experimentation) how to play. My friend's daughter does that, and she is gifted. And creative. And this mode of playing... suits her. It is tech, geared.
Don't be to serious about it.
Kids this age are very fickle.
They need to have fun, play, and learn that way.
Not many 5 year olds, will like formal lessons.
And even 1/2 hour, is a lot for them.
.
If she has a true gift she isn't going to loose it. She obviously is uncomfortable taking lessons right now, so why would you force her? When she is older if she shows an interest then you should help her, until then you are working yourself up over something you have no control over. She has no interest now, that does not mean she will not have one later. Let her be for now, and if the talent, an interest is there she has many years to foster it.
If your daughter has an ear for music, it will reveal itself with or without lessons.
I, personally, wanted to know how to play everything. If my friends had music lessons and instruments, I let them show me and teach me what they were learning. I went to their recitals. I listened to every note.
The difference between me and your daughter is that I WANTED to learn. Plunking around on the piano is great fun, but learning to read music and the counts, etc is much more complicated.
If your daughter doesn't have a love or drive to learn, you can't force her. If you try forcing it, she won't be open to changing her mind about it later.
I know a guy who can literally pick up any instrument and play it. He's never had a lesson in his life. It's mind blowing, really. However, he has no interest in being a musician. He's in corporate real estate. Music isn't really even a hobby for him, but he can literally play anything. He's obviously musically inclined, but it's not his passion. Simple as that.
I think you should hold off on formal lessons for a while. There are lots of books that teach notes and how to play simple songs. See if you can get her interested in some of those....learning on her own.
She may be happier with percussion. Heaven help you. My son was in a percussion ensemble for years and the practice at home can lead to the stock in Excedrin soaring.
Just give it some time if she's not ready for formal lessons.
Best wishes.
Drop it and try again next year.
:)
If you have a keyboard at home, let her play by herself, she could self teach and play by ear for awhile until she's more emotionally mature and wants to take real lessons.
Lessons for things like art, music and dance are only there to give an artist TOOLS that they can use for their art. But art comes from within. It can't be taught. The desire to create is inborn. If anything, formal lessons may crush who she is and what she does.
Right now your daughter does not want to learn how to play because she already knows how! She can already do exactly what she wants to do.
Let her fool around with music. Let her enjoy what music is--pure creation. One day she's going to want more, and then you can present her with the "toolbox" of lessons.
Personally I think lessons are BO-RING!
However, there are some computer games for learning the piano. She might enjoy fooling around with them. Then it wouldn't be a teacher, and she could do it on her own.
Good luck!
My brother was the same way. He can play anything. He rebelled against music lessons/practicing. Now he plays organ at our church (has for years) -- he is amazing. I don't think he ever learned to read music. He hears a beautiful hymn -- or a song on the radio -- and can immediately play it.
IMO, your daughter will not lose her gift, and learning to play via notes will just frustrate her like it did my brother.
Good luck!
Maybe try it again next year. You might take the "fun" out of playing piano for her if you force the lessons. Let her continue doing what she's doing now, and try the lesson thing again in a year. My mother forced my sister and I to take piano lessons. All that forced practice made me hate playing. She's only five - don't push her.
My family enjoys a program called "Music Together." It's a good introduction for young children to different types of music with dance, rhythm, and it's in a non-threatening group setting with parent participation. It might be a little too young for her, but my 4 almost 5 year old daughter still really enjoys it.
http://www.musictogether.com/AboutUs
My daughter is also musically gifted. It runs in the family. There's a lot of pressure right now to get her started in Suzuki violin lessons. I personally don't think she's ready and I'm not really interested in raising a prodigy!!
I spoke about it with her preschool teacher who knows a lot about child development. She said 8 was a great age to start them with lessons on an instrument. Before that, unless there's some extreme drive on the part of the child, it is usually too early.
Good luck to you!
