Seeking Advice Regarding Daughter's (Potential??) Overeating

There are times when my almost 3 year old will eat for hours on end and others where she won't eat hardly anything. I try to keep a wide variety of "snacks" in the house--everything from pate to dried fish & jerkey--we don't have any factory-processed food in the house at all. When DD is on a feeding binge, she can have anything she wants once or twice, but then has to choose a totally different "snack." (ie if she had cheese, the next thing can not be a dairy food. If it was a high sugar fruit, next is protein or vegetable etc.)

One thing I noticed is that your list of "good things" she continued to eat are carbs and dairy--very easy to get down with little effort. Both carbs and dairy stimulate a desire for more in your body--similar to caffeine, chocolate and alcohol, so limiting these is not a bad thing. If your daughter says she's still hungry, offer her refills of vegetables and protein--especially things that take some effort to eat: raw vegetable sticks with a nut butter, pate, vegetable (eggplant, pesto etc) dip or hummus; roast chicken, whole vegetables, dried fish, seaweed etc.

Strange as it sounds, the more effort you have to put into eating, the easier it is to self-regulate intake. It takes time for your stomach to register "full" and get back to your brain, so eating slowly and having to make an effort for each bite of food will help your daughter to recognize when she really is full.

Unless your daughter is starting to have weight problems, I wouldn't worry about the amount she is eating, but keep a close eye on the variety of food groups (ie dairy; grains; fruits; vegetables; proteins) she is eating and make sure her activity level is high enough to balance any extra calories she may be getting.

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C.,

I understand your concern and confusion regarding your daughter's eating habits, especially in light of your own food issues. A book I would recommend is "Preventing Childhood Eating Problems" by Hirschmann & Zaphiropoulos:

http://www.amazon.com/Preventing-Childhood-Eating-Problem...

Girls, in particular, get lots of mixed messages about what and how much they should eat. This book can help you to help your daughter continue to follow her internal cues instead of external messages about what, when, and how much she should eat. I would also recommend "Your Tummy's Talking!" to read with your daughter to reinforce these messages:

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Tummys-Talking-Jean-Cochran/dp...

After all that you have been through in your life with your eating disorder, it must be hard to imagine that your daughter is eating purely for physical hunger and that she will stop when she feels full. Children are born with an ability to eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full (unless, of course, there is a medical issue), and the best thing you can do to prevent her developing an eating disorder is to allow her to follow what her body is telling her. As you undoubtedly know, eating disorders develop when emotional issues become the driving factor in eating (or not eating), and physical hunger and fullness get completely lost. Try not to project your fears and anxieties about food onto her -- the more you can sit back and let her follow her body, the less likely she will develop food issues (and you might benefit as well!).

Hope you find these books helpful. Good luck -
A.

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How are her bowel movements? I only ask because my son did the same thing from age 0-4yrs but also pooped about 10x per day and it was very greasy/smelly. He was finally tested and diagnosed with cystic fibrosis and now has to take enzymes to help his food digest. I dont want to scare you but what you wrote about your daughter's eating habits and low weight mimicked what my son did for years before he was diagnosed. He would eat massive amounts of food so he always had a good growth chart even though it was in the 10th percentile. unfortunately, a lot of it was just going thru him.

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I experienced something similar with my 4.5 year old when she was little. She had terrible reflux as a baby so we put cereal in her bottle (drs orders). I am convinced it short circuited her ability to know when she was full. By 4 months she was 75% for height and 100 + for weight. We spent the next 2 1/2 years regulating her. What I did was set a schedule of 3 meals and two snacks a day. At each meal I offered nutritious foods like sandwiches and salads, soups, friuts etc. Luckily, she likes everything. I also loaded her up with water everyday. They say that 70% of all hunger is actually thirst! If she complained she wanted more I gave her things like cucumbers w/dip, or grapes. Both of these are relatively low in calories and satisfy her thirst and crunch craving. I too suffered from eating disorders for 10 years and feared the same for her. I think the key is to not act super controlling about food and don't openly obsess about her weight....or she will have a complex. My daughter has pretty much grown out of it. She is 50% for height and weight. We talk to her about nutrition when it is necessary. If she asks for more ice cream but has had plenty we simply explain that it is a treat and that too much sugar isn't good for the body...it makes us not have good energy....that kind of talk...never about being "fat." Oh, and by the way, my daughter can self-regulate now...but couldn't in the past...hang in there! There is hope!!!

I don't know if I have any advice, but my daughter is exactly the same age, and unless I tell her NO stop eating, she will just keep asking she wants an ice pop she wants a banana she wants toast she wants a sandwich right after eating a full bowl of cereal and granola bars and cheese and yogurt and juice and water and and and and and... until i tell her no, she'll give it a few minutes and ask again anyway. I thought it was because she was bored in the house and not enough activities to keep her occupied so all she thought about was food because my daughter in addition to eating very well (like a grown man) she is also SUPER high energy. She isn't overweight by one bit, she is tall and grows like wild fire... I think it might be a metabolism thing or something to do with being bored and having lots of energy. That's allI can think of because Pediatricians don't give me much advice either. I wish you luck in finding anything out, keep me posted if you do. I'm going to continue to do some research myself until maybe I find more people like you and I with daughters that can eat you out of house and home and not show for it!!!!!

J.
Mom of a 2.5 yo girl

There is a disease out there called Prader-Willi syndrome where you are constantly hungry. I don't know that this is what she has, but if she truly does not stop eating, you should look into it.

Sounds to me like she's just growing.

The amount of food you described can be something that my 1.5 yr old would eat. He's a very average size. And while he won't sit still for 2.5 hours anymore, he could certainly eat that much over the course of 2.5 hours - with lots of running around in between. The comment about the dairy is interesting. My kid can also eat a ton of cheese in one sitting and so I try to bring the veggies, beans, and rice out first, then offer things like pasta and yoghurt if needed. You've gotten some great advice - Mostly I want to reiterate the idea of being positive around eating and not focusing on the negative . . . if you tell her "no" she can't have something, it will only make her say "more." Redirect towards something else healthy she can eat. Mostly, don't stress too much about it.

Dear C.,
First let me tell you that you are lucky that your daughter likes to eat; and especially that she eats healthy food. Many parents struggle with this issue. I also understand your concerns that your daughter may develop a weight problem.
I can so relate to your situation. I was overweight at age 20, which I overcame. Although my daughter was a "normal" eater, my son was an eating machine when he was young. I experienced the same concern that you have now, about him becoming overweight. Instead of giving him 3 meals and a snack each day, I fed him 7 or 7 times about 3 hours apart. I made sure that he had a vast variety of all the food groups. He realized that it was okay to quit eating, because he would eat again very soon. Once he started reacting more with other kids, and went to school, his eating did subside - somewhat. He never developed an issue with weight, and now at age 23, he still eats the same way - all day long. In fact, he is still the more consciencious eater of my two kids; wiping me out of fruits, veggies, cheese, milk, nuts, and cold cuts when he comes home. He's 6 feet tall and 145 lbs.
Since your daughter is in the lower percentile with her weight, I believe that she needs the nutrition she gets from food, and that's the best way to get it, rather than supplements.
Therefore, my suggestion is to let her eat more often during the day. I do agree with your husband, that she will regulate herself eventually. But then again, 2 hours and 20 minutes of continuous eating is a bit much.
My advice is to feed her more often during the day. AS she becomes accustomed to this way of eating, she will have learned proper eating habits, and will never have a weight problem.
Best Wishes,
W. Olving - author of "Good Things Come to Those Who Weight" - a weight management book.

Don't discourage her from eating. Give her healthy food instead and play outside with her a lot to keep her active, so you'll never have to worry about her becoming obese. If she's in the 10th percentile, then you should be more concerned with her becoming underweight, which can be just as bad. My son used to eat lots at that age too, because they are growing. He has always been in the lower percentile. My wonderful MIL had to open her BIG mouth right in front of him about food. Guess what? Now my boy won't eat enough food. She just had to say that he shouldn't eat when he's not hungry. He's never hungry! MIL and hubby also make fun of obese people, which doesn't help either. MIL blames me, because I eat a very low-fat diet to control my cholesterol....Lots of fruits, vegies, fish, and very lean meats. My son will only eat lean meats and salmon, so I really don't see a problem there like MIL does. He really needs to start snacking, because now he's underweight and can't physically keep up with the other kids. He is a skinny string bean.

Healthy snacks: slice up carrots and celery ahead of time and keep them in lightly salted water in the fridge and you can never go wrong with fruit.

C., I wouldn't worry too much. I mean, my third eats and eats and eats and that is from my husband's side of the family. He's NOT fat, but he's not slim either. Just solid and looks almost like a football player ;) I wouldn't be concerned, but she may have a very high metabolism and keep her in active things, sports, gymnastic when she gets a little older to help her keep her weight down. I had trouble with weight and I was concerned about my boys but if I keep them active growing up and be in sports they will not gain. I want them to stay active and you would think that my other two don't eat because they are very thin but they eat too. My oldest was a picky eater and secdond somewhat a picky eater but as long as they eat and eating healthy foods are great and I get some foods that organic because of my allergies and they seem to eat that more quicker than the nonorganic. I would let her eat as much as she wants and keep active. Don't be negative about her future beacause of you tough time in the past with eating....she's fine right now and let her eat as much but she will slow down at some point.

Dear C.,

Kudos to you for getting your daughter started on such a healthy diet! I don't mean to alarm you -- chances are very good that you just have a healthy little growing girl on your hands -- but just in case, I do recommend that you schedule a visit with your pediatrician. There are a number of potentially serious but treatable conditions that manifest in a huge appetite without corresponding growth or weight gain. Chances are she's fine, but get her checked out just in case.

Best wishes,

Mira

By all means check out some of the particular things some of the other mom's have mentioned with their children to rule out or discover if something is truly otherwise wrong.

Beyond that I wouldn't worry. If your daughter doesn't have your body type but her father's it is likely she will pattern after him within her body. Was her father ever weight challenged?

I have a nephew I'm raising. He was the smallest thing and is still short in stature but he can out eat everyone in the house. His metabolism is incredible. I just let him eat as much as he wants. He loves healthy foods, that is just how he was raised. Which is great for him with such an incredible appetite. When he was 2 he could out eat his 8 year old brother easily hands down. I would just wonder where all that food was going but he is now 15 soon to be 16. He has very dense muscle mass, isn't overweight at all. Still has a relatively high metabolism and enjoys eating healthy food. I just make certain he has a healthy out look about food and let him eat.

Perhaps this same thing applies to your little one. Just get some other things checked out to rule out any medical abnormalities. She will be fine.

My daughter who is 19 months eats all day.
Though she does self regulate.
Here's the thing. I would demand more help from your pediatrician or a nutritionist. And I would allow her to eat what she wants for a whole day. (make sure to only offer healthful food and snacks) Personally I would avoid anything processed including bread. So offer whole foods like fruit, potatoes, vegetables rice... See what happens. And keep a diary. At the end of the day look at the diary and share it with a professional. This way you'll be sure to get an objective opinion about her food intake.
I think that at her young age its more important to make sure she's getting enough nutrition than to start regulating portions. She may be in a growth spurt.

my son can eat and eat and eat too and hes 2 and 1/2 but he is in the 80th percentile for weight and height. He comes from a family on one side who are obese as well and diabetic. But i breast fed him until he was 1 and that is suppose to minimize him getting obese. If she is eating all healthy things than there can be nothing wronge with that. My doctor said at that age they do not over eat. My mother babysitts for me during the week and a lot of times i'll give him lunch before i go to work and when i come back she tells me a list of things she gave him to eat as if he hadn't eaten lunch already. They just have very fast matablolisms and can process a lot he poops like three times a day how bout your daughter i'm sure she goes pretty often i find the babys that don't eat much don't go much either. Its healthy my friend has the opposite problem her children won't eat hardly anything and she just gave up which isn't good either now they have no set routine for meals.

Well good luck!
I wouldn't worry about it she can eat as much healthy food as she can and it won't hurt her it might hurt your wallet though. Enjoy her enthusiasm!
From H.

Hi C.,
I would talk to my pediatrician again. Perhaps your peditrician can recommend a nutrionist. If her height and weight are both around the same percentile then she seems fine. I understand your concern. My daughter is under the 10th percentile for height and weight and I have the opposite problem as you, my daughter never wants to eat, her appetitie is non-existent. It's so frustrating. Best of luck to you!
Regards,
C.

I would say don't freak out just yet. I'm no expert, but my daughter's schoolmate is very very slim, not too tall, but eats a lot! Her metabolism is unusually high, and though it seems to be hereditary in her case, I wouldn't write off this possibility just yet. I say that particularly because you say she's in the 10 percentile for height, and 20 or < percentile for weight.
My daughter is completely at the opposite end of that spectrum and always has been (in the very top end of the spectrum, height & weightwise), so I always worried that she was too big for her age. In her case, it's her genes, on her father's side. She was not overweight for her proportions, and we were reassured by her pediatrician of the same.
She MAY, and I stress, MAY, have a condition where she cannot tell whether she's full, due to an issue with growth hormone not being properly releaased from her pituitary gland. This could be related to her "tiny" size. You will only know by taking her to a specialist, i.e. an endocrinologist. That would be a start.
Edit: Additionally, try giving her more protein and fruit/veggie snacks, like cheese, apples, celery w/ creamcheese, oatmeal, fish, chicken, etc., which are more filling and nutritious than carby snacks like crackers and bread, bagels and the like. If you do eventually find out that she has an eating disorder not caused by a hormonal issue, you will have already set the stage for healthier foods and would have to work on portion control and timing.

Try not to worry about her problem being related to yours - it most likely is a separate issue going on what you've posted.
Good luck!

You are doing the right thing. Set limits and don't keep lots of junk in the house.
Good Luck

That's fantastic that she's making good choices. I'm sure it has a lot to do with you and what you put in front of her. You are so wise to address this now when she is building good habits.

Unless you are buying organic (which isn't always realistic), it's likely that the food she's eating is not giving her the nutrition that she is craving. Check out the protein shakes on http://isaleanshakes.com/ They are extremely high in bio-available protein and have all 71 essential minerals that are missing in our foods today. Not only are they suitable for children over the age of two, they are fantastic for building the good brain chemistry they need. A half a shake daily would make a huge difference. That' s $1.32 per serving plus tax etc. Let me know if you'd like more info.

A.

Hi C.:
I really relate- recovering from my eating disorder has defined my adult life, so naturally it's been tough tough tough to deal w. my daughter- she's 4. To make matters worse, my husband is a big foodie, and in his family food=love. So I really relate to food being more complex than nutrition.

It's great news that your daughter is within normal parameters. that's a big sign that things are most likely more than OK. I think you have room to conduct a more extended experiment. Let her eat her fill for an entire week, or maybe even more. It's very unlikely a full week of what you consider over eating is going to make her turn overweight or cause lasting damage.

Part of my eating disorder was the fact that my mother had a completely different appetite, body type, outlook on food than I did. She was constantly imposing her way, which to me was was total deprivation. I grew up over compensating for her restrictions. I clearly remember this from a very early age. That, along with other issues, was a primary cause of my eating disorder. To this day my mother still makes comments on what I eat such as "wow that's a big piece, bowl, slice, portion, what have you. I could NEVER eat that much" and so on. For so long I listened to her, thinking there was something wrong with me. I now know I'm just different. She still doesn't get that, and thankfully I no longer need to try to convince her. I just ignore it and go my own way.

Although you're her mother and there might be some genetic similarities, it could be that her body type is completely different from yours, in which case the best you can do is guide her to make her own decisions but allow her appetite to rule. So long as she's eating healthy food and is a normal weight, that is the absolute best case scenario. If she gets overweight, that's still not the end of the world. You can start restricting her intake then.

Actually her metabolism sounds like the one I've always dreamed of but definitely don't have!!

I hope this was helpful!

Is it the same types of foods like dairy and carbs? If so, these types of foods can give off an opiate effect and make you crave them even more. My son would eat cheese and carbs (gluten/wheat) forever if I let him. Once I took him off them (for other reasons too) then he stopped. He's on a gluten free dairy free diet and he now regulates. Like before on cows milk he would demand more and more. Now he'll have 1 cup of soymilk and be satisfied. With gluten, like cereal, regular pasta, et he'd go crazy for more. Now I give him rice pasta, and gluten free cereals and he's satisfied with 1 serving and rarely asks for seconds. It's worth a shot, perhaps.

One other thing, proteins will keep you satisfied longer, so try to include or increase those. (Hot dogs, scrambled eggs, chicken nuggets, anything like that)

My daughter would eat like mad before a growth spurt, and then slow down and eat more "kid size" quantities when the growth spurt was over. She seemed to go through about 2 of these a year and they could last a few months. Since your daughter's height and weight are good, don't worry, just keep giving her the healthy food options.

If you are really concerned, try to have as many high-fiber, low-cal foods as possible. Don't use low fat options (other than for milk/dairy) because usually low fat = high sugar. Fats, in moderation, are filling.

See if she will eat carrot or celery sticks with ranch dressing or russian dressing (ketchup and mayo mixed). If you make her pancakes, you can make them more nutritious by adding a little wheat germ, and more filling by adding some cottage cheese (the full feeling will last longer). She won't notice the wheat germ at all, but she will see the little white dots of cottage cheese in them. Also, make sure the bread and crackers you give her are whole grain. Good luck! Enjoy this period where she is a great eater, she may turn into a fussy "normal" kid at any time, and you'll wonder where your big eater went :)

My dgtr has been in the upper percentiles since birth and is just now (at 3years old) in 75th for weight and 50th for height - not sure how - everyone comments on how tall and thin she is! But... she has just begun to curb her appetite and tell me when she's full - or when she's hungry! At age two a typical breakfast was a bowl of oatmeal, a banana, half a bowl of yogurt, and her milk... plus some Cheerios to munch on, many spoonfuls of my cereal and chances are good - some of her father's as well! This could go on all morning, noon, and night. And, yes, we heard the same thing - Wow - she eats alot!!! She would eat (HUGE meals - seriously as much as I ate sometimes!) and keep eating if someone else was eating and/or just plain offering the chance to eat. It didn't matter what she ate or what you were eating - if it was consumable - she wanted it IN HER MOUTH! LOL Finally, I let her eat what she wanted at a meal (she'd tell me what she wanted in it's entirety for breakfast and I would give her all the options rationed out according to the request) if she asked for something in addition WHILE still eating what she originally requested I'd tell her to finish and if she was still hungry to tell me and I'd get it. Once she was done - no more just because there was still food in the house or someone else was eating.

She has really pretty good habits now - a reasonable (seriously 1/2 to 2/3 of what she used to eat) sized breakfast, lunch, and dinner - most of the time - she doesn't even want an afternoon snack - and she'll usually have ice cream after dinner. So - I think it is good to teach her limits to food, but I didn't worry too much about the amount since she rarely got junk food (only recently are we onto a little ice cream after a good, well behaved dinner). I also never had issues with my weight, so I understand your increased concern regarding this - but my husband's family has some very large people in it and we thought ahead also and didn't want her to have that struggle either. But - as far as I'm concerned with my one child so far - it was normal for this house! LOL

C. - My daughter is two, turning three next month. There are days where she can eat more than me...and those days are always followed by days where she eats practically nothing. I've found that my daughter, and my niece, don't self-regulate like we do. One day she wants nothing but fruit. The next day, it's cheese and milk, all day long. My advice would be to let her eat as much as she wants for at LEAST a week, maybe two. Doing that will not significantly affect her weight, if that's what you're worried about. Write down everything she eats and look at it at the end of the week - you'll probably find that she has covered the entire food pyramid fairly evenly. I would be really surprised if she had three two hour meals every day, for a week.

Good luck!! You're already doing a great thing by keeping such a healther pantry.

C.,
I don't think this is all that much to worry about. She is eating healthy. My son now this is in the evening after dinner can sometimes eat 3 yogurt tubes, 3 cookies, a pb sandwich and milk and ice cream. He is tall and thin. Now that is not every night but has happened. He also won't eat anything in the morning. {I have to work on that before we go to school next week.) My point is children eat when they are hungry or when the see something that are favorites. If you are worried about this take her back to the pediatrtion (sp) and re-address your concerns. Ask for a specialist in the field. Good luck, D.

Talk to your pediatrician, but she's 2 years old and eating healthy food! My daughter is a GREAT eater and has a very healthy appetite. She can eat as much as I can easily and sometimes more. She's 5 1/2 and has always been in the upper tier of percentiles both in height and weight. When she's going through a growth spurt, she can really put away the food and burn it up. She's just a good eater and obviously has a high metabolism. Kids process food differently than we do. They burn it off faster.

Perhaps your daughter is just starting to "catch up" in the growth charts? It is entirely possible she's going through a growth spurt. To me, eating two slices of bread, 3 bowls of yogurt (how big are the bowls? 2 tbsp?), bananas and crackers doesn't seem like all that excessive.

BTW, I also have a son who is a TERRIBLE eater and it takes every ounce of energy and patience for me to get him to consume what I consider to be minimum nutrition. Yet he thrives. All kids are different. My opinion is to keep an eye on it. Talk to your doctor about it. And don't worry so much.

IMHO
M.

If you are really worried it makes sense to consult with the pediatrician and a nutritionist. Keeping a week long food diary would help would probably help as well. Then you can compare it to a healthy diet for an average preschooler (there is a government food pyramid/nutrition site but I don't know the web address). In the meantime you can always offer her a balanced meal then if she is still hungry offer raw veggies, fruits and whole grain snacks. You can add a multivitamin if you want as well (maybe there is something she is missing from her diet even if she eats a lot in other respects?).

Hi C.,
You didn't mention what she is served for her regular meals.

If you serve her something a bit heavier than yogurt; like maybe pancakes, french toast, eggs (omelet) with sausage or ham, maybe one of these meals will help fill her up so she doesnt seem to eat so much. My youngest, almost 3, eats almost 2 full pieces of french toast or usually 2 1/2 pancakes, with sausage links - 2 or 3 for breakfast.

The same for lunch; give her something heavier to fill her up. Grilled cheese - I like them with tomatoes, pasta - mac and chees, a sandwhich with meat and cheese and tomatoe, if she likes them. With a side of crackers or fruit.

Don't forget snacks between meals. Maybe she would do better with something heavier than just a couple crackers. Try peanut butter and crackers with a small bowl of yogurt. Or, my little one likes graham crackers crumbled in her yogurt.

I wouldn't worry so much about eating problems, she is young and she has you to watch out for these things. It is good your keeping an eye on her eating, but if she's hungry, you need to let her eat. But find stuff to "fill her up" so she doesnt seem to want to eat everything thats not filling in the kitchen.
Good luck.

Hi C.,

Good for you with offering your daughter such healthy foods and that is so awesome that she likes them! I know you only mentioned a few food items, so I'm sure she eats a lot more variety, but here are some ideas and questions.

Some of the foods you mentioned are high in fiber and/or lower in calories. The FDA has an interactive tool for you to create a customized food pyramid for family members at www.mypyramid.gov. It might give you an idea of her calorie needs. My 2 1/2 year old frequently whines that he hungry and will devour a snack or meal, but he is also very active (proportionately high on height/weight, but healthy). Instead of just crackers and fruit, I give him fruit and crackers with peanut butter to help fill him up and get him some protein during the day. I have also worked with children who would literally eat until they were so full they would throw up unless you rationed food (one girl was very small and slender and healthy and seemed starved all the time). If your doctor is not worried, I would suggest you not worry, either. I also developed body-image problems at a young age and was a little heavier as a child and teenager. If you daughter is active and healthy, just keep encouraging her to like a variety of healthy foods. Make this positive. She is old enough to start learning about healthy habits. I have a children's food pyramid taped on my fridge and my son likes to point out the food groups and the children's activities. Good luck!!!