Seeking Advice on Young Siblings Sharing a Bedroom

My almost 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old share a room. I use a white noise machine and the 3 year old sleeps through anything. My daughter wakes up a dozen times a night, but she never fazes him. Good luck!

what i did was let the older child have a part in the transition, like ask them their ideas on where the furniture should go ect. another thing that works is allow the older to take the baby in the room for the first time. they tend to feel like their oppinion matters, they start to feel resondsible/protective for their sybling. it makes them feel like a big kid. and more open to change.

I lived in Africa for a year and there, there's no question about it-- all siblings will always share a room, if it means there are 10 siblings packed like sardines sleeping on the floor of a tiny room! And they are fine and nothing happens. So don't worry; what you're doing is common in many other parts of the world; it's only in America that we're wealthy enough that it's normal to sleep one kid to a room.

You know how kids become suddenly mature when they're teaching other kids? Why don't you explain to your 3 year old safety things like not poking her eyes, no blankets, stuffed animals, pillows, etc. and then when you have guests over ask your 3 year old to explain to the guests all of the safety rules involved with the baby? Then the 3 year old will feel smart and educational and it'll set in and she'll remember it all. Not to mention, whoever your guests are, will be impressed with your amazing parenting teaching your 3 year old all that stuff!

I have a 1 year-old and a 4 year-old and they share a room. The baby moved into the room around 9 months. They have done really well. When the baby does cry my 4 year-old often sleeps right through it. I would recommend having a spot to nap them separtely. I don't think mine would nap if they were together. Hope this helps. I know I worried a great deal about how it would work out.
L.

I think it'll all depend on your girls. My 2 girls (now 3 and 18 mo) also share a bedroom, and I worried about it much more than I should've. My oldest is a very sound sleeper and has rarely woken up as a result of my youngest crying in the night. So, I worried about the transition for nothing. But, your 3 year old may be a more sensitive sleeper, and you may need to just learn by experience what needs to happen as a result. It sounds like you're doing a great job preparing your 3 year old! Good luck with all of it.

Hi, K.!
You are definetly a hard worker!!
My two oldest are 19m apart, and at the time we lived in a two bedroom house. Needless to say they had to share a room. There were times when the oldest cried for an hour (protesting no more binky) that he was sick (vomiting/coughing, etc) and it never woke the youngest one (and vice versa). The older went to bed an hour later and the younger never woke. The oldest only asked once about the younger using his "old crib" and that was really it. There was a few days adjustment time when they had to learn each others noises and probably 1-2 nights when the younger would cry for a feeding, but that was really it. I thought it would be harder, but it wasn't.
The only problem we ran into was napping: My younger cries himself to sleep (then). So I would have him nap in my room. I bought a crib at a garage sale for this purpose only. He only napped in my room because of the crying. The second issue was before he youngest turned two, he wanted to go to bed at the same time as the older. Since at this point it was only 30minutes (and we had other family stress going on at the time) we caved and allowed it. I think if we didn't want to we could have made adjustments, but it wasn't the right time with all the other stress.
Both my husband and I shared rooms with our sibs growing up and found it to be a wonderful experience..Best of luck to you and just remember they might need that time to adjust but, it was easy (and then during storms or the holidays they have someone to share the excitememt with!!!!)

Even though your baby is sleeping through the night now, once teething starts, she'll be up again.

I put my 5 yr son and 3 month old in the room together and the baby was waking him up. I have since then seperated them until my baby is older.

Also, you're right to have concerns with the the three year old possibly harming the baby. I think she's too young to be in there alone w/baby. 3 year olds are still very impulsive.

When I was a baby, my older sister climbed into my crib and wrapped me up like a doll. When my parents found her with me, they upwrapped me and said my face was all blue.

Something to consider.....

I'd be afraid the three years old would try to help by giving the baby a blanket, and that it would smother the baby. Perhaps you could get a crib tent to protect the baby.

I did the same thing.. mine are now 4 & 16mths. In the beginning, my hubby would put the big one to bed (reading & bedtime routine) while I nursed the little one to sleep elsewhere. Slowly we moved the routines together (the little one into the big ones time). By the time the little one was 6months they were both on the same schedule.. they now bathe, brush teeth together, read books, get kisses and hugs good-night & both are asleep by 730-800pm. good luck! It's great when theyare on the same schedule.

A lot of it depends on your 3 year old (is she a climber? etc.). We put our 3 month old in with our 25 month old (they are 1 and 3 yrs now). We had some waking the first few weeks, but they settled in. I invested in a noise machine (found one at walmart for $20). I also was glued to the baby monitor. My older child was NOT sneaky and anytime she poked or did something to the baby, I would hear it (before the act was completed) and would go in there. Before we moved the baby in, we talked about the rules A LOT. We told her nothing goes in the crib and she wasn't allowed to touch the baby while she was in the crib. We also billed it as a very special thing to share a room w/her sister and to have "company". We threatened to take the baby out of the room if she did it again and we only had 3 or 4 minor incidents (poking mainly). We took all stuffed animals out of the room and left my older daughter with a small travel pillow, 1 blanket and some books. No clothes in the dresser (to be fair, we didn't have any in there before the baby moved in either). The only thing we left in there were books and we encouraged our daughter to come get us as soon as she woke up. They also nap separately. Older one gets the bedroom, baby gets the pack n play somewhere else. I've never used one, but there is the crib tent option too (I did consider it).

K.,
I will share with you what my pediatrician told me years ago. He said a three year old is capable of seriously harming a baby because of their size compared to the baby. He suggested I not leave the two alone for awhile until I was very convinced that no harm would come to the baby. A three year old is not capable of understanding the importance of not hurting the baby and they have very powerful feelings toward the baby. So I wanted to share that.

Having said that, I too couldn't wait to have the baby move out of my room. So he went to his own room when he was probably three weeks old. I couldn't sleep with him in the room. I would hear his pampers crinkle and it would wake me up. I had also heard newborns don't sleep as well with the mother in the room because they can smell the milk. I don't know if that is true. When my kids were three and six they shared a room by choice until adolescence.

Good luck. A.

K., I don't have the same situation you have with that age of sibs sharing rooms...what I want to share is how much I liked your "about me" part. Motherhood is a juggling act and I feel seen by your note. Many times I see others saying "happy mom, wonderful husband, and terrific kids" posted. While I am a happy mom with a great husband and son, I appreciate your candor of how challenging our job can be!
Good luck with the room share!

Jeasousy may or ma not be an issue. Wanting to "share her room" with the newcomer is another. The 3 year old may start crawling into your bed because baby rolled over and woke her up...a lot of excuses could start.

I can relate because I moved the baby in with her big sister when the girls were almost three and the baby was four months. Like you, I wondered how it would work but in the end it was really easy! Of course, it depends on each child but from what you wrote it sounds like you have paved the way for this to work out well. I also waited until my baby was sleeping through the night. I also had my toddler already transitioned into her toddler bed and let her know a couple weeks ahead of time that sister would be moving in. In our situation I would put the baby down first (7:30) and then quietly put my toddler to bed a half hour later. At first we did have some nights where one of them would randomly wake up and disturb the other girl but after a short time they adjusted to each others little cries, requests to go potty, etc. and they now sleep through just about anything. The one issue I have run into is that they won't fall asleep if they are napping in the same room. My toddler just takes one afternoon nap and often it is more of a rest time than that she falls asleep so we made a new tradition of her resting on my bed. That never turned into an issue where she want to sleep in our bed at night; she knows it is just for her nap. I hope the transition goes smoothly for your family!

I say relax and don't over think this. My boys have been together for four years now. (They are 8 and 4). There have never been any major issues and any problems are minor compared to how close they are as brothers. I've mentioned separating them a couple of times to see what they would say and they both say "no way we couldn't sleep without each other". They learn to sleep through noises quickly.
Have fun! They grow so fast.

Hi K.! Unfortunately, you really won't know until you try it> I have to say though, that the girls will learn to adjust to eachother eventually and it will be a wonderful bonding experience for them. If the little one wakes in the middle of the night the 3 year old won't even notice-eventually. It takes a little adjusting is all.
As far as your 3 yr old's jealousy...i haven't encountered that with my kids- and there are times when all three of my younger kids sleep in the same room (2 share the room normally) and there have never been any problem. As with anything else, you won't know until you try it! Good luck!

I'm a firm believer that sharing a room with a sibling is one of the best things we can do for our kids. Without even trying they learn how to negotiate, share and live with someone in close quarters. I have friends who never shared a room and they had a hard time once they were on their own having to deal with college roommates and apt. mates. Three months is the perfect age. That is when my pediatrician suggests if they aren't already to get them to sleep through the night in their own beds. As the the logistics of who goes to bed first you'll have to do some trial and error. I made sure when all the kids were babies that the house was not quiet while they slept so that they could sleep through anything. Even if they don't sleep through whatever is going on they just roll over and fall asleep. Depending on how the baby goes down will determine your schedule. If the baby goes to sleep with no problem then you have it easy. If the baby has a harder time at first, I don't think it's a big deal because you can train her to get to sleep without much incident and after a week it will be fine. Either way it will all work out.

3 year olds don't know right from wrong and are very impulsive. i personally would not feel comfortable leaving those 2 alone. how about setting up the crib in another part of the house until the baby is a bit older? i would do that for security reasons. you just never know. better safe than sorry.