My 22 mo daughter not sleeping through the night. I'm afraid that this is going to be a habit. For the past couple of weeks, Jenna will wake up in the middle of the night crying uncontrolably for me to rock her. She has been sick and I thought this would help her. Now she isn't sick and it is continuing. She will not sleep in bed with my husband and me. She wants to be rocked. Then we both fall asleep in the recliner. Two-three hours later I wake up with a sore back and arms. I try to put her to bed and she wakes up screaming. Any suggestions on how to keep her asleep. We tried letting her cry it out and she throws an absolute fit and is awake and wants to play. Also, we started the very bad habit of rocking her to sleep before going to bed. This started the end of October because all of us were sick and this was easier than fighting her at night. Now she asks to be rocked. If I don't rock her it takes an hour before she settles down. We tried this three nights in a row and I gave up. I am going back to work next week from being off for two weeks and can't keep this pace up. I don't get to exercise because I go to bed as soon as I get her to sleep. This also means less time with my husband. Maybe this will pass, too, and I need to just let her cry. Any suggestions? Another note - no problems sleeping at day care. :)
So, Friday night we tried putting her in her crib and she cried (not hard, just consistantly) for 45 minutes. She let up and my husband and I thought this is great!! Then we heard her cry and it sounded closer. She had crawled out of her crib for the first time. This scared us!!! She wasn't hurt, but we decided that we need to think about a toddler bed. My husband rocked her to sleep. In the middle of the night I heard, "Mommy" and the pitter patter of feet on the first floor. She had crawled out of bed, gone down the stairs and was looking for me. I went down to get her and put her in bed with my husband and me. We didn't want her to climb out and hurt herself. The next day we converted her bed to a toddler bed and told her she is a big girl and because she crawls out of bed she can now sleep in the big girl bed. She loves it. I have to sit by her until she is almost asleep. She does getup, but we closed all the doors except our bedroom and we but up a gate at the top of the stairs. So, far she loves her bed, but I am still reassuring her and singing her to sleep. I'll wait a couple of weeks before leaving the room before she is asleep. Thanks for all of the suggestions!
I would suggest the Dr. Sears The Baby Sleep Book, it talks about different stages that kids go through, and then what to do when a child who used to sleep great on their own will no longer sleep on their own. He's got great suggestions and talks a lot about the different effects of each option, plus I like that he takes into account what works for the family as a whole.
I couldn't agree more with the other advice giver. Read Dr. Weisbluth's book. It is very rigid so difficult to swallow at some points, but the consistency is the key. You may need to leave the house while she cries it out 5 nights in a row, with your husband staying home (if you have as hard a time as I do listening to my babies cry!). Hang in there, sleep will come soon - as long as you read this sleep bible.
Buy and read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. While he is a local pediatrician who specializes in infant/child sleep issues, he is nationally known and recognized for his decades of work and expertise in the area of sleep.
His methods involve allowing the child to cry it out, either through extinction (put them to sleep and that's it) or gradual extinction (put them to sleep, check back every few minutes). If this doesn't merge with your parenting philosophies, then skip it entirely. Her pattern at home has been "I go to sleep with mommy's help, every night all the time". You're asking her to change that habit. She's not going to give it up willingly and without some resistance. Whatever 'change technique' you choose to use, you have to do two things: #1) understand that she could need a week or two to get used to the new routines and #2) be painstakingly consistent, which means if you are going to commit to a method you cannot revert back to the old ways if you *truly* want them to change. Being inconsistent only leads to her confusion - "wait, two nights ago they made me cry but last night when I cried they came and rocked me, so tonight here I am crying again and they aren't coming to get me so it is time to cry and scream louder until they come running".
Since you indicate that she doesn't have problems sleeping at daycare (I'm going to guess they put ALL the kids down at the same time and don't rock/hold/whatever), she is perfectly capable of sleeping at home.
Call Dr. Marc Weissbluth ###-###-####) He is a genius and a miracle worker and will have your whole family sleeping and happy VERY quickly :) Call him... You can say M. sent you :))
Thank GOD she doesn't like to sleep with you and hubby. That's a whole new can of worms you don't ever want to open. You're already showing her than when she cries enough, you'll give in and rock her. She a willful little 2 year old (as most are at that age) and you just have to outlast her tantrums. Close her door, maybe play a music box so there is something to distract her and go back to bed. Put the pillow over your head if you have to. She has to learn now or she'll cry uncontrolably every time she doesn't get her own way. Be strong mom and dad and good luck.
Anyone ever wonder why it's hard to listen to your baby cry? Is there a reason we're wired to respond to our baby's cries?
Hi S....One thing that works great is Lavendar Linen Spray. Sometimes it can be hard to find, but sometimes you can find it at Bed,Bath and Beyond or Like Linens and Things or do a search for it. Just spray it on your daughters sheets and pillow about a half hour before she goes to sleep. What this does is it will help her realize. This has always helped my boys. Good Luck
S., I went through this after my son was sick and he got used to being comforted. Illness messes up the best laid plans. My suggestion as a child development specialist is to rock her before bed and read her a book but put her to bed awake. She isn't going to like that but she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own otherwise she will just wake up which is natural during the night and not realize she has the capacity to put herself back to sleep.
When she cries, let her cry for five minutes and then go in and comfort her. Try patting her on the back but if she insists pick her up and hold her--don't rock her because that is just for bedtime and book. Just guietly say, "It is time to go to sleep" and don't say anything else. Keep the room dark. Put her down after she calms down and repeat this sequence until she gives up which she will. It is exhausting for both of you. Watch the clock and make sure you wait five minutes before you go in each time. It is a long five minutes!
My son took five times the first night, once the second night and then he was back to sleeping. It is important that you persist and don't change anything. Stay quiet and patient but she will learn that she is not going to win this one. Let me know if it works. Good luck. A.
I could have written this post myself last week. After reading several books; we let our son cry. He cried for 45 minutes the first night (but slept through until morning which he had not done for 2 weeks), 45 minutes the second night, 5 minutes the third night and has not cried since. It was very hard to do but I am glad we pushed through. He did wake up Thursday night wanting to be rocked, but I gave him a snuggle and reminded him that there is no more rocking after he goes in his crib. He fussed a little when I put him back in his crib but had stopped fussing by the time I got to the door and slept until morning. Once we were sure that our son was not sick anymore (and the holiday craziness had passed) we knew his refusal to sleep without one of us was behavioral and we needed to kick the habit. Good luck!!
Maybe this is her way of getting more attention from you. And its not necessarily a bad thing. Babies need attention from their moms. And if you are working outside the home maybe this is her way of getting it.
I don't think rocking a child to sleep is ever a bad habit. It is a very comforting thing to be rocked to sleep in your mom's arms.
Definitely check out Dr. Sears sleep book or Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution.
T. S.
It's a weird world we live in that conditions us to see rocking our little ones to sleep as a bad habit and ignoring them as they cry alone as sensible and acceptable. Children need closeness and comfort as much at night as they do in the day if not more so, and just like adults they go through different sleep cycles and patterns. Meet your little one's needs as joyfully, completely and as often as you can- that is how she will grow up to be secure, generous and unconditional toward herself and others. Be positive, creative and flexible in finding sleep solutions that meet everyone's needs, remembering yours are the ones that are the most flexible at this time in your child's life.
