Seeking Advice on How to Get My Children to Help Clean up the House

The best way I can think of is not to let them start another project or do anything until the previous one is cleaned up. Specially if they are going from room to room with different toys - if they are done with that toy then they need to put it away. It will be tiresome for you at first to be on top of them but hopefully soon it will become habit from them to clean up after themselves.

My mother when I was a child would give me a chance to pick up my own mess and if I did not do it she took any toys or objects of interest that were in the mess and put them in a box and would not let me play with the again until I was able to pick up after myself for a week. It worked well for me and also works well for my child.

M., I've had this problem too. What I've discovered is that I wasn't consistent in requiring that they do a certain chore. And I didn't spend enough time doing it with them so that they "knew" how to do it. It wasn't so much the mechanics of doing it but the attitude while you're doing it.

There has to be some sort of routine and natural consequences for example; We can't eat dinner until the toys are picked up. That is a great suggestionKimberley.

And cleaning together would be more fun than having your mom in the kitchen yelling at you to pick up your toys. That was how I did it and it doesn't work.

I think getting kids involved in housekeeping is one of the hardest things to do. Good luck to you.

I have a 5 and 9 year old. I feel your pain. A while back I instigated a new rule in our house, it went something like this: If momma is cleaning everyone is cleaning. The nine year old loads the dishwasher and puts away clothes. The five year old seperates laundry and empties the dishwasher. I have also been introducing them to cooking basics. They are also in charge of cleaning their own rooms (nightly) and basically if it belongs to them and I have to clean it up it goes away for awhile. This works in our house and it is by no means "spotless" but it cuts down on the clutter and makes them responsible.
Our main philosophy in our house is that we are a family and eveyone in the family has to contribute equal amounts to make it run smoothly.

LOL ~~ I have 6 children. 5 of them are still home....ages 2-16. I started when they were little, 2 years old. I let them play during the day, but I always have a time before dinner that it is time to clean up the messes. Nobody got dinner until it was done. It was not a punishment, it was just the way it was. I got in with them so it was a family thing that we did. I help my 2 year old pick up a toy and praise her when she puts it in the bucket. I had things to my other children and tell them where it goes and thank them tremendously for doing such a great job.

We also have a rule for the older ones that has helped me a ton. Because video games rule their lives, I have told them that as soon as they get home, they have to do their homework and one chore before playing anything. It works for me. I hope it would for you too. You just need to find something motivating for them to want to work towards.

Good luck. I hope you can get some help. :)

Hello, M.. My name is A. and I am a mother of three also. 9yrs,3yrs, and 6 mo old baby. me, my fiance and my girls stay in a 3 bdrm, 2 bath apt and it is difficult to keep this apartment in order sometimes. I start letting my kids do chores: for my 9yr old I ask her to put the clean dishes away in the dishwasher, make up her bed/make sure her room is straightened daily, vacuum the apartment 2x a week and clean the front bathroom 1x a week. Those are her chores and I award her allowance 1-2x a month. My three year old I have to constantly repeat to her to her to pick up her toys. She gets a little sidetracked; instead of cleaning up the toys she's playing with them (she's 3:)), but I try to show my kids responsibility at a young age. I hope this helps you, M.. take care! A.

A.
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We had a very hard time when my son was younger to get him to help....still do at times and he is 12. The best response we got from him was to make it into a game. Every other night we would have races to do the chores that we picked. Other nights we tried competitions of who could do the most chores. On Saturdays we had a big picnic in the living room then we worked together around the house I always kept him in the same room as me to keep him on task but he would dust while I did windows and then we would race to clean the floor together. That way I could teach him how to do adn he could try to show me up but I wasn't feeling like I had to go over all his chores later....

I also have 3 very "active" children, with the youngest just turning one and the oldest turning 9 this year. Every night before their nightly bath and bedtime routine we all go into the "playroom" and pickup the toys, this includes the one year old. And every Saturday, like clockwork, is heavy cleaning day. All rooms are completely cleaned spotless. It also helps to have an older child who can do chores. She gets paid 50 cents for every chore she does (unloading dishwasher, washing dishes, vacuming, helping with other kids room, etc.) It also helps that they only bring the toys into certain areas of the house. Our space, the living room, and the kitchen are off limits to toys and roughhousing, this way the mess is semi-confined!

Hi M.,

You have gotten some GREAT advice already, but I will give you my few tidbits and maybe they will help also.....

I have 2 children now, 4 years old and a 2 year old. When my 4year old was walking, we started doing little things with him. He would help clear the dinner table and put away things in the fridge, of course with our help. He would "help" unload the dishwasher. He couldn't help if I needed it done in a hurry, but most times, I could spend a few extra minutes to let him "help" unload and he even knew where somethings went. Of course, I would take care of the knives and such.

As he got older, he would clear the whole dinner table, even at my in-laws, as I would be in the kitchen doing the dishes. My 2year old daughter is helping now also.

Now, that he is getting older, he can do more and my daughter wants to copy. On the weekends, they have to bring me their laundry baskets to the garage. They think this is fun to push/slide the baskets down the hall.

In both of their bedrooms, we got buckets/clear bins/baskets for their toys. My son LOVES having buckets in his room, because he knows exactly that his dinosaurs will be in the "dinosaur bucket" or if he can't find something, we tell him to look in the bucket it should be. It makes cleaning his room, REALLY easy, because he knows that each toy has a "bucket" of some sort to go into.

Also, we started REALLY young with a coat rack for BOTH of the kids. They know when they get home from going out, they have to take off their shoes and jacket and their shoes go in their closet or on the shelf and their jackets get hung on the coat rack. Now, they don't always stay on the rack, but at least it is better than in the middle of the hallway : )

My 2 year old LOVES to sing, and when my 4 year old would sing the cleanup song from preschool, she would chime in...this also helped with cleaning up the mess. It made it fun and we would all help out!

Those are just some things that we do. I hope they help!!

Good luck!
N.

Hi M.,
I have friend who has one of those spotless houses, and three children. Her trick that I thought was diferent was the chore chart and how much each chore is worth.Her two oldest 11 and 9 each had assigned chores. The other rule involved the allowance, if you do it you get paid, if your sibling does it the get the amount for that chore and if mom has to do it she get paid.The whole thing kept them paying attention to what else could be done.

Children need routine, if they are used to making a mess and leaving it for you to clean, then the routine has to change. keep a close eye on what each child is play with. When they stop and try to play with something else, let them know that "Mommy needs some big helpers, to keep the house beautiful." Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, until the children start to repeat for you. If this doesn't help, then start taking away toys. When the children only have a couple of toys out, and you let them know that they have to show that they can be responisble, they will want to do whatever it takes to earn their other toys back. Consistency of your demands, and routine will help the children learn whatever you want them to learn.

Iam a mother of 4, 12 girl 10 girl 6 boy and 5 girl. One of the things I started doing was explain that our family is a unit that needs to work together. Kids are smarter than most think and they really can understand that, thats life no matter where they go. A family requires everyones helps (dad included). I know thats a hard one but if you make it somthing that is done as a family then they grow up realizing that its just the way of life. Be consistant, patient and above all just have fun with them. I personally am not one to give an allowance for somthing that needs to be done. But I do make a point to praise them for the positive attitude while they are doing their chores. Also on saturday I take them to the park or movies or anything else that we decide to do that weekend, but, if the chores have pilled up or they slacked on their rooms we dont have fun on saturday because instead we have to focus on cleaning. good luck!!
p.s.
Try not to focus to much on the little things when there grown up you wont remember the messes but the fun you had with them.
C.

The only advice I can give to try is to not allow them to do anything else until the mess is picked up. It'll take time because they won't want to pick up as they've been taught that they can just get up and move along to the next thing and you haven't stopped them, but instead just followed after them and picked it up yourself.

Now that this routine is going to change you're going to have a bit of a contest of wills but don't give in. My daughter isn't old enough to make messes she can't control yet but kids don't come into the world knowing how you want them to behave. They’ll take the path of least resistance. You have to let them know with repetition, until it's second nature.

Consistency is key. Let them slide a few times and they'll slip back into old routines. I know I sure did. My mom couldn't get me to clean up anything because she'd get impatient and just do it herself. DON'T GIVE IN! And don't let them sit back down and keep playing with the same stuff you told them to pick up and put away. Take the time to stand over them and make sure they do what they were told to do or you may come back to find them just settling for playing with what they were told to clean up in lieu of putting it away to move to the next thing.

Don't forget to praise them when they manage to get it right, even if it’s after an hour of whining and lollygagging, then let them move along to whatever they wanted to do next! (Or they won't see the reason in cleaning up in the future.)

I have a 2 month old boy and two girls ages 4 and 8. I can totally relate to your situation. The house is on a never ending cycle of cleaning and mess making. My girls have to clean up their mess before moving on to thir next activity. I will not allow them to watch t.v. or a movie, go to the park or eat dessert until they have cleaned up what they are no longer playing with. My oldest daughter helps with the dishes and I reward her with 5 dollars a month. After I fold the laundry my girls have to put it away in the drawers themselves. My 4 year old even helps me fold laundry which I usually have to refold but at least she is trying to help. Also you can offer rewards like going to the park, the library, or playing a game with them. Even having your children do the smallest task will help you out and will teach you children responsibility. Good luck!

Hi M.. My son is 3. Our house is always crazy. A million people in and out plus a male roommate. I clean a never ending disaster. I started having my son help as soon as he started following me on 2 feet.
It started with me handing him the wet clothes and he would toss them in the dryer. Then he started helping fold clothes, then sort and carry clothes to the washer. Over the past 2 years we have worked up to him unloading the dishwasher with me, "washing" dishes, putting laundry away, sweeping, mopping, he even makes his own sandwiches now...at 3! etc.

Here are a couple tips to remember:
~They won't do as good a job as you, that's okay.
~It does not have to be perfect.
~Always tell yourself THEY'RE HELPING!!!
~If you HAVE to redo something, do it when they're not around, that would really hurt their feelings and they woldn't want to keep helping.
~They need short detailed instructions.
~For the older ones, don't tell them to clean they're room. I tell my son, "We're going to clean your room now. Here is the box for your train. Find all your train peices and put them in her....Here is a garbage bag, find all the garbage and put it in here".
~I feel until they're about 3 or 4 it's best to keep them by your side for most chores. Sometimes supervision is needed for 10 year olds too on some things.
~It's all time conusming. You're teaching them from scratch... they will get it over time.
~Reward them. I don't give my son money yet. If you can...do, but there are other ways, verbally (always good anyway), stars on a chart to work up to a gift, days off for doing great, special time they want, ice cream at the end of the week, T.V. time etc.

This is a really great way to teach them, get help, spend time together and still get your work dont. It's possible and all great ages to start. Be consistant and have fun wathcing them learn...they're wives will thank you for it.

This is what my dad did with 5 children (3 his own, 2 step): make a chore list, make sure they do the chores, and be prepared with suitable consequences if they don't. Assign chores that are age appropriate - maybe one for the 5 year old and 2 for the 8 year old. You know what they are capable so you need to decide what they can do and how often they can do it. You could also give a small reward for those children that complete all the chores for the week (kids are easy to please so it need not be expensive or extravagant). Good luck.

Have your children help with cleaning. Make it an educational game that everyone can enjoy. Have them do some of the small things. If the items they are picking up are in colors, give them a color and have them place it in a certain spot. This will help teach them colors, shapes, etc. When the job is done reward them with stickers or something else that comes to mind.

I have two daughters and a son. This is what I have done in the past. It made my job easier to do and it was fun for us as well.

Good luck.