Seeking Advice on Feeding a Picky Toddler

Updated on February 21, 2010
J.M. asks from Schwenksville, PA
24 answers

I have a 3.5 year old son, Justin, and another baby due just before Valentine's Day. When Justin first started eating solid food he was very picky and I thought that if I fought with him about food it would only make it worse. Well 2.5 years later, he's the pickiest eater out there. Not only am I worried about his daily nutrition, but its an inconvenience when we are away from home. If we are eating out we have to make sure the place has chicken nuggets or pizza, and if we are visiting someone's home I usually try to take food for him. I know I'm catering to him and with the new baby coming its going to make our schedule and our lives even more hectic.

He'll only eat a handful of things (nuggets, meatballs, pizza, ravioli, cereal, yogurt, bananas, sweet potatoes, blueberries and rasberries) and if I even try anything else he screams. He won't go near a slice of bread, a hot dog, or pasta. My husband just keeps saying he is a typical toddler and that he'll grow out of it, but he's the only kid I know that is this picky. Please help!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for all the great responses! I'll keep you posted on how he does!

Featured Answers

S.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Buy the book "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld on Amazon.com. You can "sneak" in fruits and veggies, and most of the recipes are delicious. :)

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L.S.

answers from Lancaster on

My daughter is 8 and she still only eats a few things. When she is at a friends house and they have something she doesn't like she wil try it and lots of times thats how she ends up liking a different food. She just started to eat mac and cheese (homemade not from a box).

When she was about 3 or 4 she only ate chicken nuggets, pizza and hot dogs all with french fries and maybe some fruit. The doctor told me she'd get tired of it and move onto other foods. she did but is still picky.

It will get better. As long as he is getting some fruits & veggies and drinls plenty of fluids he should be okay.

Good luck

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A.O.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 3.5 yr old is also pretty picky but I have learned to ask him to try what we are having for dinner- no more fixing chicken nuggets to get him to eat. He will eat when he is hungry and you will be suprised that he will eventually try new things. If you are really concerned about his nutrition it won't hurt to give him a vitamin-such as Flinstone or Scooby Doo Gummies- there are million varieties. As long as he is growing normally don't sweat it- he will eventually branch out!

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi J., From personal experience I will tell you to quit catering to his picky-ness. Start slowly with a simple dinner rule: You must take two bites of whatever is on your plate. If you do not like it fine, you don't have to eat it, but you do have to take two bites. Now don't go wild and give him a plate of all new food! Add one new thing every couple of days to his "picky" diet. If he likes it keep it on his "new menu". Find some small stickers and evertime he likes a new food put a sticker and the name of the new food on your family calander when he has a month of "new" foods on the calander then reward him with a special item or day out. You & hubby have to be really consistant for this to work! It is hard at first, and he may go away from the table a bit hungry a couple of times, but if you are consitant it will pay off in the end. Dinner battles are the worst and they don't get better if you don't get a handle on them now. I am surrounded with "picky" eaters and it drives me NUTS and I wish I would have known about this and done it with my girls (and hubby!) when I had the chance. I do this with the boys I babysit and it does work! Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

I actually had the same problem with my 2.5 year old son. It has only been recently that he has even considered chicken nuggets and fish sticks to his small menu. So this is what I decided to do for both of us. While pregnant with both my boys I drank fresh vegetable juice that I would juice myself. While breastfeeding my second one I decided to continue my juicing for both our benefits. In the process of doing so, my oldest would help me make the juice and than to boot, help me drink it. So now this is what we do in the mornings.

So now I'm ok if he is a picky eater as he is getting all his veggies in the mornings. Now both of them drink fresh veggie juice in the morning and you have one happy mama. It also has helped him consider other foods.

Good luck and let us know if you found the best solution for the picky toddler.

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H.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.,
I think your son is pretty normal. You might want to just make sure what you do give him is healthy- for example, but chicken nuggets without a lot of additives and preservaties, steer him towards healthy cereal, get organic fruit etc. And just keep trying to offer new foods but don't make it a battle (he will always win)

My advice is enjoy him and give yourself a break. Good luck
Patty

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L.J.

answers from Johnstown on

While reading the list of foods, I thought you were talking about my 3 year old, except add grilled cheese and any fruit! It's funny/weird how they all end up only wanting the same things! Anyway, we are also struggling with this so I read with interest everyone's responses. A new one I have read recently is to talk with your child about the textures/tastes (sweet, spicy, etc...)of a new food instead of saying it is good for him/her because that simply doesn't work. I always serve her what we are having, even if she protests. She claims she doesn't like it, even when she hasn't tried it. We have asked her to take one or two bites and she can have a reward. Sometimes this works. Good luck!

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

hey, momma! You just have to decide how committed you are to changing this. At 3 and 1/2, it won't be easy, but you can do it. Your husband is right, he will outgrow it. But that could be next week or when he's 12 years old. You have to take charge if you really mean it.

Start serving whatever you are serving, don't cater to him. Don't discipline him for "not eating"certain things YET. But DO discipline him for any tantrums or wrong table behaviors. As for the food, just don't offer him an alternative. He eats what you put in front of him, or he just has water until the next meal. Start with very small servings, just a couple bites, so as not to overwhelm him, and give him something he likes after he eats that. If he refuses to eat the new food, he gets only water, not what he likes, until the next meal. No snacks. He won't starve himself, he will start eating. But of course if he misses a few meals, give him something you know he'll eat at the following meal, but don't let him know you gave in. Once he starts eating small portions of new things and realizing you're serious, you can start to discipline for not eating and get firmer to speed up the process. Also, at first, just give him what he wants when you're out until he he eats well at home.
One step at a time.
Don't give up!

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E.B.

answers from Allentown on

Don't worry, your son is a typical toddler. They go thru spurts on eating only certain things. He will eat when he is hungry and at least he likes healthy foods. Enjoy him and don't worry.

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J.G.

answers from York on

I had the same problem with my 3 yr old. he drank a lot of juice so his pedeatrician said only one cup of juice a day . he does seem to be eating a little more. I would try and see if it helps you, but mostly its probably just a phase kids that age go through.

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K.K.

answers from Erie on

What does your pediatrician say??? some kids actually have sensitivities to certain textures. There are Occupatinal (sp) therapists that deal with it. If he was under 3 you could probably have him evaluated for free. I'm not sure since he is older, but if you have any doubt that he isn't just manipulating you, it might be good to check it out.

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S.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

I've never given my kids the option of being picky.They eat whatever is being served. I know it sounds harsh, but if they get hungry enough, they will eat. If it is a food that they really don't like, I give them a break, and let them eat only half of what's on their plate.I almost always give them dessert, whether it's sugar free jello, or fruit, or something the kids helped to bake- that way the know they have something to look forward to if they just cooperate, and eat their food.
Also, I never let meal time be a battle. We never allowed meal time melt downs, or any other attention getting behavior to disrupt dinner time. They could sit at the table while the rest of the family eats and laughs and talks, and gets dessert, but they know, ultimatly, they will eat half of their food at least, whether it's with the family, or by themself when everyone else is done and has left the table.
Just a few more tips- preparing meals is a family affair for us- we put on loud fun music, and all pitch in to prepare.And we are always trying new, exciting foods whether it's star fruit, or cous cous, we try to top each other by finding the weirdest fruit or veggie in the store to try.
It might take time for your little one to develop a taste for different things- just gradually introduce new things, and calmly, happily stand your ground.
Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,

I wouldnt worry too much about it. My little cousin is about the same age and he will only eat red jello, ritz crackers, fruit loops and a couple other foods. You cant even give him generic crackers they have to be ritz crackers. My son for the longest time would only eat mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. So your son isnt as picky and your not the only one out there. I would just try to introduce new foods when you are eating. I think that as long as you dont make a big deal about it he will be fine and eventually try new things. As for nutrition wise my cousins doctor doesnt worry as long as he is gaining weight and not losing it. Good luck and congrats on the new arrival.

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K.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.-The bright side is that he eats fruit/veggies/protein sources. That's good news. A friend recently sent the link to CHOP's healthy cookbook.

www.chop.edu\healthycookbook

There are some fun recipes there and a few that he could have some control over (e.g., Mr. Bagel Head). Every child is different, but maybe it would work to do a 5:1 ratio - 5 blueberries:1 grape and so on, decreasing the ratio as his tolerance allowed. Or maybe a none-food reward would work if he tried something new. Maybe you could make it clear that he doesn't have to like everything, but that you'd really like him to try new things b/c there may be so many more foods he would enjoy. I liked the one suggestion to take what he already likes and pair it with one new thing.

If you really think it's an issue after talking it over with your pediatrician, you could get him evaluated by an Occupational or speech therapist either at your local intermediate unit or through CHOP or some other kid-centered feeding clinic. Best wishes.

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S.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.
I agree with denise,you have to think outside of the box. its easier to give into their desires,I know I do it. Once I put my mind to it,I think of different things. We also had a nutritionist come to the house and she was always suggesting new things.Such as stew and pancakes with applesauce,meatloaf, veggies and ranch dressing.If he likes chicken nuggets try making them on your own with cereal crushed as your coating.
If he likes meatballs try wedding soup,if he likes blueberries try oatmeal w/them or milkshakes. I was told by my Ped that is they get one good meal a day they are doing well.There are many websites on the internet for nutrition
Good Luck and keep trying!
-S.

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Your husband is right. I know it isn't easy and having another child will not make it any easier. But, he will grow out of it. Just keep offering him new foods. Show him how much you like the other foods. That is the best you can do. I have three kids and they all were picky eaters at one point or another. If you are that concerned about his nutrition, give him a vitamin everyday.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My kids will eat a good variety of foods though it wasn't always that way. I would always make a point of putting something on their plates that they liked and something that they didn't like or hadn't tried before. Within the last year my son (age 4.5) my son has become more willing to try just about anything we give him. If he doesn't like it I'm okay with that. My daughter (age 3.5) isn't as willing to try new foods, but I've noticed I can sneak some things in her mouth and she doesn't realize I've done so. For example, I'll put a bite of stewed tomato on her fork then a piece of meat to "hide" it. When I make things like meatloaf or spaghetti sauce, I put finely chopped veggies (or even pureed baby food) in the mix for added nutrients. If we eat something that we haven't had for a while, I'll make a point of commenting that I had fogotten how much I like that particular food. Some other ideas to try...Maybe if you make foods appear different he won't realize what they are and they might appeal to him - cut the hotdog into thin strips like matchsticks. (My son thinks any white meat is chicken and my niece thinks that fresh wax beans are french fries.) Maybe offer dips with fruit and veggies (yogurt, carmel, ranch dressing, cream cheese), crackers (cheese), french toast sticks (syrup), meats (ketchup, gravy, honey mustard). Maybe make pork or turkey nuggets in place of chicken nuggets. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.,

I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I can COMPLETELY empathize with your situation. You might as well be describing my 4 year old daughter (in fact, she sounds even pickier!). Let's hope that some other moms out there have good advice for us. I just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone out there! Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,
I guess we all have our struggles. Personally, I have a son who WILL eat anything (shrimp, cheesecake, peppers, onions, eggplant--you name it). Our problem is getting him to sit and focus and take the time to eat. Drives me nuts. O. day I finally cracked and had a breakthrough. I realized if he skips a meal, eats a small amount, etc., nothing bad will happen to him. Sometimes kids eat like snakes...a lot O. day and a little the next. I no longer stress about the amount he is eating. He's a weird kid and requests soup for breakfast, salsa/chips for his evening snack...things that make ME cringe. But, when I stopped to think of it..I guess there are worse things to eat for breakfast than soup, right?
My point is, I think you should keep offering and have available lots of new things for him to try and keep in mind that sometimes kids have to try things a bunch of times before they deem it "likeable." I was never O. to cook a separate meal for my son. He always had what we had for dinner and I think it's why he loves to (and requests) to try new stuff all the time. I realize it may be too late to apply that theory to your son, but keep trying to give him new stuff. If he likes blueberries, maybe he would like blueberry muffins. If he likes yogurt, make him a blueberry yogurt smoothie with frozen yogurt instead of ice cream.
Don't worry, he won't be ordering chicken nuggets at his prom! He will pass through this phase eventually. Try not to stress over it too much.

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C.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I watch my granddaughter and she is a picky eater too. But I did notice if another child is eating something, she is willing to try it and most of the time will finish it also. So if you have any neighbors or nieces or nephews that eat different things, you may want to try to get them together with your little boy and see what happens.

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think this is pretty typical. My son can be picky but I try not to worry about it too much. We eat out where ever we feel like going and he has slowly opened up to new things. The one thing that drives me nuts is that he doesn't really like to eat meat so I'm always worried if he's getting enough protein. But our basic approach with him is "If he's hungry he will eat". Once he's hungry he's less picky.

I do try to keep things on hand at home that he likes. He loves the Z-Bars that Clif Bar company puts out. Those are nice on those days he seems really picky because they are healthy and loaded with nutrients. They sell them at Target by the box (they are usually near the pharmacy with the other nutrition bars). http://www.clifbar.com/food/products_clif_kid_zbar/

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

my son is now a toddler too and will yell if he does not like something. keep trying. i will feed my son what i eat so he gets a variety. try eating something and tell him to eat it also. may be make a game out of it and tell him he will get a special dessert if he tries something new. some of it he will grow out of. at least some of what he eats is nutritional.if you are really worried you can give him some of the pediasure shakes and you can always talk to the doctor about your concerns.

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R.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I understand your concerns...my daughter is 3 1/2 too. My son was born October '08. My daughter thinks pizza, hot dogs, pepperoni, fried eggs and tacos are the only food groups. I wish I could give you advice on the subject, but I have yet to find a solution. We have, however, stopped giving her the favs all the time; she now eats what we are having, or she chooses to go without...it hasn't helped any yet, but we are hoping to see some improvement, soon. We finally just started telling her that there are other foods than just her select choices. My daughter looks at her plates (occasionally even her favorites) and won't even touch it. She usually says "I'm done"...if you try to feed her any, she screams and then vomits any you may have gotten into her. I'm hoping and praying it is a phase that will one day go away! Right now I have to hope vitamins will be enough. I know I haven't helped your problem any, but I hope it helps to know you are not alone!

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi J.,

The first thing you need to do is stop catering to his food needs. Kids will naturally become picky if they aren't forced to try other items. This week sit down and tell your son that you want him to grow up to be healthy and strong and that he needs to start eating better foods for him. (Maybe even find a book that talks about good eating.) Then tell him that what you make for breakfast/lunch/dinner is what he is going to eat, and if he chooses not to eat it then he can sit there and wait until you are done. I once heard that it takes a child 7-10 times of trying something until they can learn to like it. He may not want the pasta you put in front of him or the pancakes at breakfast, but he also won't starve. Know that there will be fits thrown and he will probably go to bed hungry some nights, but soon enough he will HAVE to try things because you aren't giving him the option of the foods that he loves. You can still make pizza one night a week, but make it for the whole family that dinner is made for everyone, not just him. My mom used to say that she wasn't a short order cook, so we just had to deal with it. I'm grateful she wasn't because I'm willing to try anything once (and because I have done the same thing with my son, so is he). People are always amazed that my son loves seafood, mushrooms, tomatoes, and tacos, but I tell them it's because he doesn't have a choice. Make food for everyone and eventually he will learn to like the same things you like. Good luck! :)

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