Seeking Advice on Ambidexterity or Left-handedness

J.,

My daughter who is 6 is the same way - eats/writes left handed, throws for the most part right handed but I've seen her throw left and she does it just as well. An aide at her school told me she has seen her eat right handed as well. She bats and plays golf right handed. Not because we forced her but a golf pro said to just encourage it that way and that most likely she will do well hitting left or right. Well, that stands true. My son will be 4 next month and so far - he is the same. The only other person in our whole family that is left handed is my husband's Dad. I also don't have any professional background in this area but having two kids that prefer their left hands for most things I can't imagine reinforcing the preference. I guess I'd need to know why that is important. Like someone else said, why not be good at both? Please post a follow up if you get more info on the topic.

M.

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I wish I had some literature to send you, but really, just my personal opinion. I would encourage both! I just don't see how you can go wrong teaching your child to work with both hands .... I think a natural tendency will emerge, but as someone who can only use my right hand, I know I would love the ability to use my left hand for something other than scribbles! Keep up the encouragement!

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J., I am sure that the therapist has more "book" knowledge on this subject than I do. I don't have any literature or therapy; however, I do have life experience. I write with my left hand, eat with my left or right (depending on space), throw with my right, bat left or right, etc... I have basically used whichever hand was most comfortable for me. I do know that I have a preference for my left. To my knowledge my parents never thought twice about my preferences. I can do most things with either hand with the exception of writing. I definately write with my left hand. But, since both my kids are right handed I am getting better at writing with my right hand, LOL. My tennis coach in high school was so frustrated because instead of using a back-hand stroke I would just switch hands. Anyway, I think your son will do just fine as he is. To "reinforce" one hand over the other can not be a very positive experience for anyone. I would not force him to choose one hand over the other or put him through therapy to reinforce that choice. I hope this helps, if you have any other questions on this subject feel free to email me, ____@____.com

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Okay here's my take on it...what is wrong with encouraging both? My son is 2.5 years old and he's showing interest in both hands. Eating with one and drawing/writing with the other, and then switching back and forth.

If he picks one or the other I don't care either way. My son's Pedi said it doesn't really matter which one he picks and to let it develop on it's own. In fact, he was impressed by the ability to use both. I wouldn't stress about it, and I agree with Julia the therapist is working off some kind of archaic guideline.

Just let him be, don't make it an issue and he'll pick on his own.

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Hi J.,
Is there a problem he is experiencing or are you just observing? Just a little history...my Mother is a left handed, I am right handed and my two daughters are left handed, while Dad is right handed. Everyone is okay. My mother writes and eats with her left hand, however she says there a lot of things she can ony do with her right hand, while my oldest daugther only uses her left hand for most things. The baby started out using both hands, however by three now, has begun to mostly use her left hand. I don't think there is anything proven wrong with someone who uses both hands, just one or the other. Further, my FIL was left handed, but his mother forced him to be right handed and he has a master's degree, although I always joke and say that is what is wrong with him. In all cases, everyone is fine, other than my FIL being a little hurt that his mother believed there was something wrong with left handed people.

My opinion, let it be.

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Hi J.:
I totally disagree with your Therapist. I've witnessed only the plus side to being Ambidextrous.My Son,and Grandson both are, and it never interfered,or created any delay,Physically or mentally.Contrary to some beliefs.They both have always felt it an advantage,and it was a real plus in any sports they choice to participate in.I might add,that years ago,students were actually disciplined and forced to refrain from using their left hand.They'd go as far as tying their hand behind their back,or smacking it each time they tried to use it in class.Your son will determine which is his strength,or if its beneficial for him to utilize both. I wish you and your smart son the best.J. M

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J.,

LEAVE HIM ALONE.
!!
I'm ambidexterous and it served me so well throughout my life of athletics. He is probably artistic too.
Leave the child alone. Way too many people try and label things these days, and the next thing you'll know he'll be prescribed meds.
Let hiim be himself, for goodness sakes what could the dammage be? You think he's gonna have a moment of such confusion of what hand to pick up a pencil with that he'll need therapy??!!

Wendy

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Hi J. -
I am very ambidextrous (with a leaning towards being a lefty) and so is my son, who is four. I think that the therapist you spoke to, is way off. The best thing to do is to let your son choose how he wants to use his hands at any given moment. He knows naturally what to do.

One of the things that is interesting about ambidexterity, is that people who have it, tend to access a wider range of skills and talents... especially in the arts. Within our family, we particularly excel in art, music, and communication skills. Fine art is my main profession, but I am also an art curator, graphic designer, writer and musician. My son is showing strong signs of this too.

To support your son, you could encourage him to express himself through the arts... you might find that it suits him quite well, and he will probably have an affinity for a multitude of interests. Think of it this way, the act of using both hands for various actions, causes both sides of the brain to function simultaneously and with better connection. This complexity is an advantage, and he may always have several projects going at once to satisfy his mind.

I personally find it useful to be able to paint, eat and do a variety of other things with both hands. It comes in handy... no pun intended.

Congrats on having a very talented son. - L.

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J.,
as an occupational therapist, I would also tell you to chose a dominance for your son but only for the important activities of daily living such as eating, coloring, etc. You can determine if he has a dominant side by presenting him with a paper cone and asking him to look through it. The eye he chooses to use to look through it is the dominant eye and therefore the dominant side of his body. Dominance is very important for fine motor coordination and especially for hand writing. If you are still not sure about this, at least help him determine which hand he feels more comfortable writing with and stick with it. This will help him greatly later when he has to learn to write!

Hope this helps!

N. S
Occupational Therapist
Early Intervention

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I agree with some of these ladies. Let it come natural. No therapy. My daughter uses both hands and when my in-laws see her use her left hand they scold her and make her use her right. That makes me so mad!! I let her be it will come naturaly. I just thank God that she has both hands and that she is able to write. So don't worry and let it be.

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Oh my, let him use both hands. I am totally right handed, totally...well, due to a medical problem I have lost most of the use of my right hand...I am, well, past middle age and within the past yr I have had to re learn how to eat, put on make up, hook my bra, brush my teeth...and writing...
My grandmother was born left handed, they forced her to be right handed, tied her hand behind her back in school. Her writing was terrible, and she hated it.
Three of my 4 kids are lefties as is my husband and 2 of my 3 grands....my daughter, in grade school was the youngest child they left into the MGM program when she was a pre schooler. When she would get bored in school, often, she would write everything on the left half of the paper with her left hand and everything on the right side with her right. The teach was so upset, but our questions were, was it all right? yes, Could you read it without problems? yes but its not normal....I always thought it was a good thing. So, just let him decide...
With our granddaughter we knew from the ultra sound she was a lefty as she was sucking her right thumb....had to keep that left hand free at all times.

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my daughter used both hands when she was little, I decided to let her make that choice. when she got into her twenties, she favored her right over her left, but she thought it was cool to be able to use either one. this came in handy when she got into a head colition with her husband. she was still able to write with her left hand and did not feel incumbered.

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"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!!!!!!" And I fail to see what is broken here? There is nothing wrong with being amidexterious or left-handed. Why does he need to be forced into a preference? Let him use whatever hand he feels like. My husband is a natural lefty but was forced to use his right hand and learn to write right-handed -- he has awful handwriting and his dexterity is also messed up. You will face problems much more significant than this issue -- in the "pick your battles" category, drop this and let him work it out!

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Listen to your instincts - you are his Mom and know best. Let him continue as is and don't worry about it.

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Hi J....for goodness sakes....let him figure it out!!! ;-) With all that can go wrong in a kids life, and need help for, this would be about #100 on my list of things to worry about. Even if he turns out to be a leftie, now days, the biggest thing they have to cope with is which side of a person to set on while eating. I have a good friend that we always joke about that one, she's a leftie.

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Leave him alone. He is part of a small group of people who are often very smart and good with numbers. He will find his way.
Also, learning to use a word processor is far more important then good hand writing.
I have a husband, son, and granddaughter with this "PROBLEM" and they all do very well.
Love,
B. v. O.

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Wow another thing to get therapy for. I am 51 years old and have used both hands for everthing all my life. I would say I am a little more left than right. When I was in school the nuns used to tie my left hand behind my back so I would write with my right. I can write with both hands! Let the child alone. He will figure it out. It is a gift to be able to use both hands. I was always in the top of my class, graduated with honors. Don't think using both hands affected me in any negative way. My handwriting is clear and easy to read. Not all lefties have poor handwriting, not all righties have good handwriting. He will be fine, just give him the room to figure it out on his own. And don't waste your time or money on therapy.

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I think your son will be just fine with whatever comes natural, even if it is both left and right! I am left handed, and do not have any complaints. I do not see any danger in in being ambidedterious (sp??). Good luck!

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When our daughter was only 12 months old, she was already showing a very strong preference to being left-handed. We talked to her pediatrician about it and she told us that was great. Of course at this age kids usually are still trying to figure out what they are, using both hands 50/50, but some kids, like my daughter, figure out early on what is their preference. Our doctor actually ENCOURAGED us to have us teach our daughter to do SOME things right-handed, but not to "force" it. For example, she told us to give her a ball in her right hand and ask her to throw it, if she throws it right handed, great! If she switches it, let her. She said the reason for this was to make sure that she was able to do SOME things right handed, and not use only her left hand 100% of the time (basically she wants us to encourage our daughter to use both hands when she can/ and it is comfortable for her - so she's not completely "helpless" with her right hand). To me, it sounds like that's exactly what your son is doing, except that he is like 50/50, whereas my daughter is more like 90% lefty, 10% righty. You know, I was kind of like that too. I was right handed for most things (writing, eating, etc), but in gymnastics I did everything "left sided". I think your son will be fine!

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I don't feel it's right to force your son to choose a hand. Ambidextrous people use both sides of their brain the rest of us just use one or the other.

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The other mothers replied beautifully to your question, I just wanted to say that I agree with them wholeheartedly. I'm a lefty now, but was 50/50 until I was about 6 yrs old. My mother is a lefty, and she was forced to use her right hand as much as possible. She said it made her miserable and messed with her self esteem because she always wondered what was "wrong" with her that she was terrible at doing things right handed. Lefty, righty, or both, it matters what the child is most comfortable with.

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What I wouldn't give to be ambidextrous!! My daughter is 14 and lefthanded. The only thing I ever encouraged her to do with her right hand is the mouse on the computer. While you can set it up for the left hand, most are for right handed people and it has made her life easier at home, school, friends houses, etc.....

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I like all the other moms' answers, but also wanted to share that if it was me, and he truly has no preference of one hand over the other, I'd try to encourage him to write with his right hand (if YOU are right handed). Only because that will make your life a lot easier when it comes time to work on penmanship and learning cursive (neither of which our kids will probably even use much of as they get older, since everything is typed nowadays anyway, but I feel good penmanship is becoming a lost art :)
Since I have homeschooled my kids here and there during the elementary years, I know how much easier it is to help them write when they are same-handed as mom.
Other than that, what a blessing to be ambidextrous. Both my boys have always been right handed, but bat left with baseball, which is a tremendous advantage for them if they pursue their baseball passion thru high school and maybe even later than that :) And I also have one kid that surfs and skateboards with alternating feet forward, he can't pick a direction preference, and what fun for him! Wish I could do that.

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Leave him alone. My son did the same thing. He is now a righty but still uses his left for many things.

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My story:

I grew up Left handed.. my mother is left handed too.
I eat and write left handed.
I learned how to bat, bowl, crochet and cut with scissors right handed.

The fine and large motor skills, I learned at home... I fine tuned them once I was in school and did what the other kids did.

No matter which hand he uses, he will mimick his friends once in school. Most left-handed kids tend to work well with both hands.

This is a talent! You are very lucky... so don't sweat it.

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Hi J.,
My son is 6 1/2 and exactly the same way. At first we thought he was favoring lefty (my husband, my mother, my mother in law, my first cousins... all lefties...) but then we noticed he does things with both hands pretty equally.

In Pre-K his teacher was concerned about his writing and being ready for Kindergarten because he would write with both hands...so neither one was developing enough to be ready for school. He is also a September baby so he was starting Kindergarten at 4 years, 11 months. In all other areas he was ready for Kindergarten except the writing. We spoke to the pediatrician and she gave us a perscription for Occupational Therapy.

I wasn't happy about this either but my husband wanted to try it so we did.

There are different levels of OT you can do. We did the very basic where he worked on handwriting and did some balancing exercises that somehow help them (still don't know how that works). They showed him the correct way to hold the pencil and had us do some exercises at home that developed his fine motor skills. They work on each hand separately and he decided to start with his Right hand. After a few sessions, he was writing really well with his right hand. We then went on vacation and when we came back he didn't want to continue the OT on his Left hand. So we told him that when he starts Kindergarten he has to write with his right hand so the teacher can read it but he can do anything else he wants to do lefty.

When Kindergarten started the writing was still a little shakey but by December it was really great (this is probably when his actual abilities kicked in).

It's 2 years later and he's still ambidextrous in most areas and still writing Righty. I think he would have been fine no matter which hand he decided to use.

Is your son in Pre-K yet? If not, they will work on handwriting there and that may help him decide. If he is finishing pre-K and heading to Kindergarten, you really want to make sure he can write neatly with one hand because they do a lot of writing now in Kindergarten.

There are several books on the subject and if you look up "fine motor skills" you can find some books, games and toys that help develop those skills that are needed for hand writing.

I hope this helps.

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My son was ambidexterous at that age as well, in school he would write with one hand half way across the paper and then switch to the other hand for the other half of the paper. As my son grew older he chose the hand he though he wrote better with. There is nothing wrong with letting him use both hands. I saw a guy on TV the other day that could write with both hands and both feet all at the same time and in 4 different languages! If your son continues to use both hands I think it's a bonus, but more than likely he will eventually choose a side.

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You already got a lot of good advice, particularly from Sophie and others who said let this take its course - it is actually an advantage if some ability is developed in both hands. As a practical matter, I would encourage right handed abilities, since later is easier and less expensive to find righty baseball gloves and guitars, etc. But I only mean ENCOURAGE, not force. Your child will find their natural dominance L or R, and still be able to do stuff either way. I'm a definite righty, but I try to train my other side sometimes, just for versatility, which I think is healthy. Your child has a natural talent, so relax and count your blessings : )

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Two of my three younger grandchildren are left handed, the grandson uses both many times andhe is 10. I hope you left him do what is natural. He will excell!

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I'm ambidextrous and so are all three of my children. I just let them do what was comfortable. They will do what works for them. I would not 'train" them towards one hand unless they were having a problem with details.

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Dear worried im 85 years young and am ambidextreis . Wrightin with one and drawing with but use either hand for every thing i became a nurse have been married for 60 yrs with 4 grown children . We are more adventurous and love life dont look so much for negative things just love your child and teach him to be a good person dont worry about the little stuf. A. from ho. Hills

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My son is 6-1/2 and receives OT for challenges with writing. His OT said he is primarily left-handed, but he is also very ambidexterous and she is not convinced he will end up left-handed. She said many children who are ambidexterous will not make a final choice until 7 or even 8 years old. She said only 4% of children are truly ambidexterous, so I would imagine not a lot is known about how they develop their writing skills.

I would not force your son to choose. What's wrong with writing with both hands?

B.

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I am lefty but do many things with my right hand and I am 41 yrs. old! I'd be willing to bet your son will develop normally so I agree with everybody else and just let him roll with it. He will figure out what he prefers to lefty and righty.

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Well, I'm 41 and I grew up like that. Eventually I decided on writing with my left hand. I use my left hand for cutting with a knife but my right one for a scissor. I started to use my right hand for things which are not designed for lefties.

I wouldn't force anything. My oldest son is 6 and has still to decide on which hand he wants to use for different things.

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This is just my opinion. I think it is a time to watch your son. Maybe he shows a preference in certain things. He may prefer to eat right handed and do something else left handed. I think you can focus on working with that, but if it varies from activity to activity, that's ok. I have a male friend who throws a baseball right handed and a football left handed and he's good at both!
As a teacher, I would say have him pick a hand to write with when he starts school. (I don't like when the teacher chooses for him.) That way he gets all his practice with one hand. If he uses both hands, he is only getting half the practice of everyone else and his writing may fall behind.
Those are just some of my ideas. Hope it helps.
L.

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Therapy? Ridiculous. Let him do what comes natural.

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My youngest son is left-handed...in writing only. Everything else he does with his right hand. He is capable of throwing balls and things left-handed but does not. We have often wondered why this is and came to the conclusion that when his father (he was also left-handed) left us, Matt just followed what I did. He has no problems adjusting to using new tools, etc. and has the advantage of being almost completely ambidextreous. No worries!

A little about me:
Divorced, single mom of 8 children aged 26-17.

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I can't see why you would want to do that. Being ambidextrous didn't stop Leonardo da Vinci from succeeding.

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Do not change a thing! IT's a gift!Be aware that if your son is different you will be hearing a lot of ridiculious advice like that from teachers,therapists and other ignorant specialists-ignore it and go with your gut and what your son tells you.You know better!he knows better!
M.,mom to 5yo ANdrew who is ambidextrous,a late talker and a picky eater.

Hello there J.!
On this one, tell the teacherlet your child be!

Me, being a grandma of two girls (one and a half mos. and a 12 yr.) I find it great to be ambidextrous for I can do lots of things with either hand. As in the past I would be made fun when I used my left hand I tried not to use it much in public and enjoyed myself at home. I never had a real problem, until I injured my right hand. While attending an englidh class at college, I wrote my essay using my left, and the professor, unrfamiliar of my ability, told me outright he could not grade a cheater. The whole class came to a stand still. I looked out to his eyes, smiled and took my pen out and with my leftie wrote the first sentence for him. He appologized being deeply sorry. The class continued. I stil smiled. I did not miss on my other assignments and I learned to tell my professors about it.

If he shows signs of wanting to use his feet to pick up objects as I do. also let him. advise your child what is appropriate for public use and what is for display or bragging. I also knew of a man who would weave baskets using his bare feet and he gave them as presents to people with very low self esteem. And i have seen documentaries and read articles of no limbs amputees doing painting with their mouth held brush.
to be blessed with two "right hands" is not a sin. Congratulations to your child!

Don't force him to do anything but what comes naturally for him. Let him choose his hand for whatever task, it just shows that his wiring is very complex and wonderfully creative! He is using both sides of his brain very well, he may very well turn out to be a fantastic musician or artist!

J.;
Let me tell you my experience with this situation. I myself is ambidextrous. I eat and write with my left, but do all types of sports right handed. I bowl, bat, golf, even use a calculator everyday all righthanded. When I was about your sons age my grandfather try to force me to do everything right-handed and my parents were very upset. I have fathemed well in todays society being ambidextrous. It even comes in handy sometimes. They left-handed people use both sides of their brain and are very creative. I would leave him alone and he will eventually work things out for himself. If he continues to prefer to use his left for writing just make sure he tilts his paper correctly so he doesn't smear the pencil, crayon or ink when writing. Who knows you might have a brilliant scientist, artist or doctor in the future.
Good luck,
E. H.

As a lefty myself, I would encourage you to let your son show you his preference. Let him do his eating, coloring, throwing, etc with the hand that is best for him. My nephew, 10 yr, does most with his right hand but bats, "golfs" and sometimes eats with his left hand. Everything else is done with his right hand. This is interesting since both his parents (his mom is my sister) are left handed. My nephew has lots of support since my dad is left handed as well. Growing up, my mom just let my sister and I, her 2 leftys of 3 children, do what we felt most comfortable. We are both proud leftys and I hope my 6 month daughter turns out to be the same. She is beginning to shows signs of left hand preference, but time will tell. Hope this helps!

An Occupational Therapist would tell you that because many of the children she sees are better with the left side due to a brain injury or other event that resulted in "right side weakness" So if that is suspected, you can't allow the child to just use the left side, and leave the right undeveloped. An OT or PT (Physical Therapist) would be the best one to evaluate whether that was suspected in your case. You said the child appears to be ambidextrous, but is he really just not good on either side? That is another reason the OT might have said that. Often people who have not chosen a preferred side (I thought it was by 18 months) do not become proficient in fine motor skills with either side. It would not hurt (except in the pocketbook) to have a professional evaluation, Some ambidextrous people are good with both hands, but I understood that was rather rare. Bad reasons for not developing a preference, or for choosing left handedness very early (such as a stroke in utero) are more common. I am telling you thins because people who are happily ambidextrous will not think of this aspect, I don't think your OT friend was just being pushy. B.
Now that I have read the other responses, there seem to be lots of ambidextrous people. But in the circles I hang out it there are lots of people who need Occupational Therapy to develop an undeveloped side. Personally I don't know anyone who is ambidextrous, from the responses it seems to run in families. So check that out, if you don't have any family members with it, find our why the OT said that, and don't overlook ruling out an underlying problem. Good OT helps tremendously, when there is a problem, and the earlier the better. B.

When I was a kid, I was completely ambidextrous, but my dad, for some odd reason, did what the therapist told you to do. He made me use my left hand, and now I'm left handed. That just seems silly to me! Why does your son need to choose a specific hand to work with? As long as he gets things done, does it really matter which hand (or how many hands) he did it with?
My mom is 48 and she is ambidextrous, and she seems to be just fine. So, I would say throw away the literature, ignore the occupational therapist, and just let your kid be himself.

My daughter was ambidextrous. She didn't pick a hand until kindergarten, and only then because her teacher insisted. I don't think you need to worry about it. It will all work out fine. She used to eat with both hands, too. She finally decided to use her left hand most of the time, but is still slightly ambidextrous. She is now grown and is a school teacher with a Master's degree. Just try to determine which hand he uses the most and put utensils, crayons and pencils in that hand first. He's going to be fine without all therapy.

That is so wierd that a OT would tell you that. My son uses both hands and he's also 5. We let him do so and his pediatrician and OT have said to let him do so. If they can use both hands what is the problem? What if something should happen like a broken arm or something? He could use the other one!

Hello J.,

I have a 4 four year old daughter who is lefty most of the time and at other times uses her right hand. My husband and I let her use whatever hand is easier for her. Usually she does everything left. However, she will at times draw right. When some of my family saw that she was a bit left handed at times they told me to not let her do that and make her write right handed. However, I did not like that and from working with kids I know that it is better to just let them do what is natural for them. My daughter is very smart and quite creative. So I don't think that you will have any problems. Just let him do what is natural and if any one has a problem then that is there issue to deal with. I think it is kind of neat that she is a lefty and my husband and I are both right handed. Besides, this might help your son if he does baseball later in life!

My son is 5 and he is the same way. But, he seems to write w/ his rt hand. It will become a problem in kindergarten. they need to be one handed for writing. I wouldn't force anything. But, i'd have him color a whole lot, and have him figure it out with out ever telling him why crafts have suddenly increased.

I am ambidextrous. I write and eat with my left hand and do everything else with my right. It has never been an issue for me in anything I do. I have a nine year old son who is also ambidextrous, except he is the exact opposite. Writes and eats with his right and everything else with his left (kicks, throws etc.) I say just let him decide for himself. There is nothing wrong in either. I certainly DO NOT agree with the therapist. Your child is his own person, you can't a make decision like that for him, no matter how small it might be. In the end, HE will be the one using his hands for the rest of his life. Not you. Hope this is a little helpful.