Seeking Advice from Younger Moms like Myself

hi M.-
well what do you want to know? i had my first child at 20 and im about to have another and im 23. Everyone's situation is different. I have been with my children's father since we were in middle school. We have our own house and he owns his own business and im finishing up at University of Maryland. For some people, having children can motivate you to do things that otherwise you would have taken for granted. You just know what your responsibilities are and know that no one will do it for you so you must do it for yourself. The way we grew up, a lot of people say they are wholly surprised by where we got ourselves. Neither of us come from money, we were kinda bad growing up, but now we are doing fine.
As for parenting, just read a lot of books, do a lot of research, try out different methods. Anything in particular you want to know message me.
A.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

I too was young when I had my daughter (almost 19) and she is now your age. The best advice I have for you is to let her be herself. Don't try to mold her into the "perfect" daughter. If you allow her to express herself openly and to be herself there won't be as much rebelling and she will thank you for loving her for who she is. Another piece of advice is to always be there for her and to listen to her. Don't always solve all her problems for her,just be there to listen and to give advice.

Good Luck!!!
L.

M.,
Be honest with her. Listen to her. Respect her. Most important is you are her Mom not her best friend. I have a few friends that wanted to be friends to their kids and all those kids grew up to disrespect them, talk back to them and get in trouble at school and with the law. She will have plenty of friends throughout her life but only ONE Mom. You are going to be super Mom but make sure you give her boundaries.

Oh, and when you are totally exhausted and haven't slept for more than 3 hours in a row it won't last forever. And as sweet as she is don't let her get in the habit of sleeping in your bed. It is almost impossible for her to break the habit! Believe me, those sweet little things sleep like a sundail and you will wake up with her for in your eye. Your kidneys will ache from those little feet kicking you in your sleep.

Hello,
The best advice that I can give you is make sure you have a support system. I don't know your situation, but that could mean the baby's dad, your parents, friends, even people you meet here. It's always helpful to talk to someone about what's going on with you and your baby. There will always be moments when you're not sure what to do, or you need some advice, make sure there's someone to turn to.

Keep asking questions, just as you are doing now, keep learning new things about the stages your child is going through. Listen to the ideas that other moms have. Some of the ideas may seem so off the wall and crazy, but listen anyway. Sometimes those are the ideas that work the best for you and your child.

There are so many different ways to raise a child. Only you can figure out what works best for you and your child, and what's best for you and your child may change from day to day. If something is not working, then try something else, (though give it a good week or so before you change methods, kids need a little while for things to sink in). That being said, when you find something that works for whatever you and your child are working on, be consistent.

Beyond that raising a child is a moment to moment event. Cherish every moment. Find a way to document it with whatever you are into, photography, scrapbooking, journaling, anything.

If you ever need a friend I would love to chat. I am a young mom myself, with a 2 year old. Good luck with everything. Feel free to contat me.
M.

I can't help you out because I'm a first time mom-to-be (in September). The difference is our age - I'm 33. But I did want to tell you that I think it is GREAT that you have such a wonderful perspective on being a mom. I hope you will always feel that way!
~B.

Dr. Harvey Karp is a godsend - the Happiest Baby on the Block video is awesome for baby soothing and needs response.

H.

My best advice is to remind yourself daily that you are human and not perfect! You are going to make mistakes and all you can do is learn from them.

That said, your family and friends who are parents are you next best resource. Ask their advice and opinions on everything. You will discover for yourself what you like and don't like, what works and doesn't. Always put your child first - above yourself, about your spouse/boyfriend, above any family and friends and you will do just fine! Good luck parenting, and remember - you learn as you go!

Hello M.,
I became a mom at a very young age too, 17. It changed my life...all for the better. There is no greater gift. I would have to say the most important thing I have learned is to READ. Whenever you can grab a good book about parenting DO IT. Take what you agree with in them. All books are diffent, and of course so are parents. So take what you can get from them and use it. Don't worry, you are going to do fine no matter what other people say. I have fought that crowd for a long time. I will have to say they aren't always accepting of young mom's. You will most likely have your share of bad experence with people who are not so accpceting of you, and your child for that matter. But it is best to pay them no mind. I never waisted my time worrying abot what other people thought. My whole world just revolved around my daughter, and that was all that mattered to me. I'm sure it is going to be the same for you.
Also remember to take some time for yourself as well. I don't know who many people you have to support you in this, but if you have people who are ready to help, then don't feel guilty about going out once in a while. I think that is important too. Being that you are still young, that doesn't mean you life is now over.
I don't know if any of that helps, but I wish you the best of luck!! Get ready for the most wonderful thing you could ask for!
If you need anything feel free to mail me!
____@____.com

M. -

Read, Read, Read. There is so much to know and you still will not know everything once the baby is born. So Many preparations, and decisions to make. As long as you love that baby no matter what and do everything with your best interest at heart, just trust your instincts and everything will be just fine.

Recommended Reading:

Breast-feeding Naturally
The Complete Organic Pregnancy
Raising Baby Green (Dr. Alan Greene)
Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child
How to Raise a Healthy Child…in Spite of your
Doctor (Mendelsohn, MD)
Organic Infant and Toddler Cookbook
Holistic Parenting

Some Web Resources:
www.hpakids.org
www.drgreene.com
www.healthychild.org
www.nmaseminars.com
www.holisticmoms.org
www.familywatchdog.us

Magazines:
Mothering, Kiwi, Natural Home, Natural Health,
Natural Solutions.

Find a sample birth plan at: www.earthmamaangelbaby.com

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Take Care of yourself too.

M.,

I had my children at 25 &27, but I worked with many moms younger than you for a couple of years. Someone already gave you great advice and that was to remember that you are mom and not trying to be her best friend. I would also recommend to ANY new parent a new baby class where they teach you the basics from washing your baby, diapers and nursing or bottle feeding. This is nice to do before you have the child. Most hospitals offer these classes. You will do a great job. I would be happy to talk more with you about it if you have specific questions, just respond to this.

The best advice I can give you, is that its ok to let them cry sometimes. you dont have to be there for your baby the very second she/he starts crying. When they are very young, you cant spoil them too much. hold your baby, sleep when your baby sleeps, you will need it. And when she/he gets older, and its time to let mommy sleep a little more at night, crying is not bad. its how they learn to go back to sleep on their own. You are not perfect, you will probably make mistakes. but they probably wont hurt your little one at all, and you will learn. your baby will love you no matter what. Trust me. I'm 22 and my first is teething and i'm trying to get him to sleep better through the night. its not easy. but its ok. in their eyes you can do no wrong.

Hi, Congratulations!!
I really know how you feel, I had my first 2 weeks after my 19th birthday, and now at 21 I just had my second. Everyone has already given you great advice, I was going to add that finding some moms to talk to online is really helpful, but I think you already figured that out for yourself. It's not as hard as you think it going to be, I promise. The beginning can be bad, I'm not going to lie, but after a little while you settle into a routine that both you and the baby can live with and it gets much easier, and you get to appreciate how special your baby really is.
As far as you being a young mom, I've found that *most* people (there are exceptions) stop caring about how old you are once you have the baby; for the most part, regardless of age all moms go through the same thing.
Good Luck, I know you'll be a great mom!
If you would like to talk more, you can email me at
____@____.com