24 answers

Seeking Advice from Moms with Adult Children Living at Home

I wonder if there are other Moms out there who have their adult children living with them (mid to late 20s in age), and said child not working and going to college full-time. If there are other Moms like me out there, I will share the concerns I have. Thanks.

What can I do next?

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One daughter working, not going to college age 21
One son, special needs, volunteer work age 25

Email me if you want to collaberate.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M., I am 62, have raised 5 and my two youngest sons are 24 and 26 and live with me. One is working full time and renovating a house which he will eventually live in. The youngest is a full time student with a Masters and working on his PhD. He also teaches and tutors for Kaplan. If I can help in any way, let me know. I also have a wonderful husband. Mary

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I am an older Mom with little ones at home - but I felt compelled to write. I went to both undergrad and graduate school - at times living with my single, very hard-working Mom.
Your adult child MUST go to work and pay bills at your home. If you had to move away, this 'child' would have to pay rent/food/utilities etc. alot more than what I am sure that you would accept for he/she to live with you.
This is not cool - there are people who go to school full time and work full time. There is no excuse for this. On top of it, what does your child do with free time?
I wish you well and strength to ask for rent at the very least.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.. Up until the last few months my 2 sons still lived at home. One is 26 the other is 37. The oldest one has an apartment with his girl friend now. The younger one just bought a house with his girl friend. Both sons are engaged.

My 3 girls all moved out quite a while ago (ages 25, 25 and 38). 2 are married with 2 children each. The third is engaged (also with 2 children) and has her own apartment.

I never had a problem with any of them living here as long as they wanted to, but my husband did. He said they needed to go out into the world and grow up. Now he misses having them around. When they lived here they all had full time jobs and paid board and all their own bills. They still had chores to do around the house also. None of them ate here much. They usually went out with friends or with girl/boy friends.

All my children live within blocks of our house and visit almost on a daily basis. We are a very close family and love it that way.


2 moms found this helpful

How long does he have left to going to school. I feel that if he is responsible and getting through school well then you could cut him some slack on paying rent/utilities but if he wants spending money for his car/going out ect then he needs to have his own job. I was in the opposite situation, the child living with parents. I stayed at home with my daughter and went to school full time online while my mother and fiance went to work all day. While I was home I cooked/cleaned and got all the chores done for my mother. My fiance and I were saving to get our own place so my mother did not want us to pay rent, but we did pay our own way as far as all of our needs and my daughter's needs and never asked my mother for money.

2 moms found this helpful

I have experience that I am the daughter living at home with my parents. I am married with 2 little girls and my whole family lives together. There are 7 of us here. My husband and I had lived on our own until shortly after our first daughter was born. He had just had two back surgeries and I had lost my job. We came home to recover. Since then my mother has started to have hip problems and needs her hips replaced. It was just easier to stay here and help her out. It also makes it easier for me to be a stay home mom. We pay rent and I do all of the household chores and cook dinner. Everyone has their responsibilities and everyone works together to run the house. My daughters love being with their grandparents everyday. It can be hard at times to all live together but it also very rewarding.

2 moms found this helpful

No adults but a 13 and 16 yr old. I Feel your pain I am always wishing they were away at college. Most moms on this site have toddlers dont find it very helpful. I am also a single mom for 7 yrs now. Hang in there.

2 moms found this helpful

I had the same situation and I told my son that he really needed to get something part time just to help us out. He already knew that we were a team and when I asked for help I needed it He ended up teaching guitar a couple of hours a week. It not only provided him with some pocket money but built his self esteem. He now lives independently in Mass and teaches music at a high school there. He did graduate from college.

2 moms found this helpful

God bless you. YOu are living my worst fear. I am living as a single mom for the past 9 1/2 years. My boys are 17,9, and 4 in April. I can't wait for my 17 year old to move. He has a part time job as he is still in high school but he doesn't help out at home and doesn't really do much for himself. I hope he gets it together soon.

Whose idea was it that your child stay home?

2 moms found this helpful

I have an expierience from the other perspective. i was an adult child that lived at home. I moved out at 18 buthrought some bad relationships and other misfortunes i had only my parents to turn to and moved back in. I did this three times. I was happy to help out around the house as I did when I was in school. It was just as tough to deal with parents as it is for them to deal with me. But they knew I was working towards something. i had goals. I think if your son is going to school. Cut him some slack until he is done. remember how hard it must be for him that he still lives at home...girls dont dig it:). Anyway, think of how grateful he will be when he is done with school and on his way to his own life that you helped him when he needed you

1 mom found this helpful

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