Seeking Advice for My Relationship from All Moms

I would suggest reading the book "The 5 Languages of Love." You will find that not everyone expresses their love in the same way. So, what you can learn from the book (and if you like it, I would have hubby read it to) is how you can show him love in the ways he needs it and he can show you love in the way you need it. As an example, the love language I show is Acts of Service (I love doing things for my hubby and taking care of my family!) yet my husband's love language is Quality Time. So what this means is although he likes when I take care of him, he'd rather have me spending quality time with him than anything. It will make more sense when you read the book - what you will gain is and understanding of what both of you need and it will give you examples of how you can "speak" the same love language.
good luck!

Hi N.,
Reminds me of my first husband when I was very young, 18 years old. I felt exactly the same way. Now I am 54, my daughter is 35 and I have two grandkids.
This is what I have learned. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! That's an excellent book!

Men feel the responsibility of paying the bills and working hard to secure your future. That's the world they live in. All the attention and affection you show him just reassures him that everything is all right, so he doesn't have to worry or be concerned about you, you love him and everything's fine. That allows him to be concerned about what he feels are the important things: making sure he has a job, moving up in his career, making more money, etc.

Ask him for one night a week for a date. If that doesn't work, that is what girlfriends are for! Put your time and effort towards your career, social life, girlfriends and realtionships to feed yourself, so you are not emotionally dependent on him.

Maybe if he is wondering where you are, you'll have his attention! If you know you have a man that loves you and you can trust him, then don't worry about it!

Talk to him, tell him how you feel!
Good luck,
S. Fritz
866.508.2910

I recommend the book "Love and Respect" by Emmerson Eggerichs. It will help you understand how males interpret love and all the "little things" women do to show love. A lot of the time the things we do to show love to a man, the man doesn't interpret that as love because all they really need is respect to feel "loved". My husband and I read this book together but it would be great for you to read, even if your husband won't read it too. It was wonderful for our marriage =) Good Luck.

Stop showing him affection, and stop doing nice "little things" for him. I've learned that the better you treat someone is the worse they treat you, and vice versa. Put your needs first. Life is too short to be unhappy. If you can't do that to him, get a dog, they are like having a constant baby around. Good luck.

Jen

We all feel love diferently so your hubby may not know how to show you this love in the way that YOU feel it. For example, my hubby likes to be hugged and his hand held...I like to have little notes sent to me. We learned how to love each other in the language each of us would understand. There is a book called "The 5 Love Languages". It is amazing. The author also wrote "The 5 Love Languages of Children" and we plan on reading that too for our little guys.
It is an easy read and it may really help..it forever changed our relationship!
Good Luck!

Hi N.,

Have you tried talking to your husband about how you feel and what you want? If he does not seem receptive to talking try writing him a letter and telling him. Remember that men are not the same as women and they hear and feel things differently then we do. And no matter how hard we try, they cannot read our minds or even figure out what we want/need unless we tell them. Make sure that you tell him in a way that you are not putting him down. For me I find it works best if I tell him that I have a problem with..... and if I "help" him to help me solve the problem. Best of luck to you.

Hi N. I have been married three times, men don't like to be given so much attention, they start to feel smothered. You have to back off and find something to do to occupy your time, give him something to wonder about. Give him a taste of his own meds don't show him any attention and he will be wondering why?!?!? I know you love your husband, but love yourself first and he will love you more. Show more love to yourself than what you show to him. Use reverse psychology, when he sits in front of the computer, get you a book or go take a bubble bath, stay away from him...act like he doesn't exist. If he doesn't come to see what you are doing,or check up on you in a day or two, then it's more to him being on that computer all the time?!?!?!?