Seeking Advice for Cranky 5 Month Old Who Refuses to Nap

Updated on February 04, 2009
J.G. asks from Festus, MO
12 answers

I have a 5 month old baby boy who up until 4 months old was the happiest baby I have ever seen. Most days he would not even cry once, slept great at night, napped great during the day (though he prefers his swing for naps since having reflux problems at birth). For one month now he has become very cranky, I assume it is from lack of napping during the day. He only wants to take about 2, or if I'm lucky 3, 30 min catnaps in his swing during the day, and then his eyes open wide at exactly 30 min, like clockwork. He is still sleeping about 10.5 to 11.5 hrs at night, but fights napping everyday. He starts getting cranky after he is up for 2 hrs, which used to be the time he would fall asleep on his own to nap. Now he starts crying, does not want to be rocked because he gets mad when he knows I am trying to put him to sleep. The only way I can get him to nap is in his swing, which is still a battle because he falls asleep best with his pacifier, which he now spits out and bites, but then cannot relax enough to fall asleep. Eventually after about 30-45 min of giving him his pacifier or trying to soothe him he will only fall asleep if I rest my hand on his chest while in his swing. After all of the exhaustion of getting him to sleep he wakes up at exactly 30 min. I'm sure he is teething because he has had all of the symptoms for 2 months now, but this has only gone on for the last month. I have tried teething tablets, orajel, and even motrin at times and it does not seem like teething is the only reason he is doing this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I desperately want my happy baby back.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I would suggest putting him in his crib for his naps. Swings don't really allow for a good nap at this age - they seem to work better when they are younger. It might be a fight for a couple of days but it will probably allow for him to get a better nap. Give it a try... good luck

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We had a similar problem with our daughter at that age. She stopped sleeping altogether - naps and at night - Christmas Eve she slept maybe 8 hours in that 24 hour period! It was awful. We finally ended up doing the Sleep Lady method and it worked miraculously! I would suggest reading her book "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy" by Kim West. See if it helps to try her methods. Good luck! Hang in there!

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

you need to tell your doctor on the next visit. I felt something wasn't right and that my three month old was cranky. He had double hernias and needed surgery. He was fine after that.

Trust your intuition. No one knows your baby like you do.
God Bless
L. B

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P.K.

answers from St. Louis on

There are a couple of things I can suggest. My son had reflux as a newborn, also...has your son outgrown it, or does he still have issues with it? We had to put our son on meds and special formula, to keep the discomfort at a minimal for him. He will be one next month, and he's outgrown it now, but I know every time we tried to lay him down, the reflux would act up and there was no way he could rest with all that going on inside him! Another thing to think about is how you're putting him to sleep. My son is probably very spoiled when it comes to this, but I figure I only have so much time with him as a baby, and I'm here to do it, so I usually rock him to sleep. Of course he's getting smart enough to know the signs of nap time, and will start to fuss sometimes, as we head to his room, but I just stick to it, and he realizes I'm not going to give in. There are times, however, that he will fight and fight, and I finally tell him if he doesn't settle down, he will go to his crib by himself. I know this sounds silly, but it actually works most of the time. lol When it doesn't, I lay him in his crib to throw a fit by himself, or wear himself out and sit in the rocker by myself, without paying attention to him. When he calms down, I try again. He usually catches on pretty quick. Other things I do are, make the room as dark as possible, play soft lullabyes to drown out the rest of the house noise and calm him, and usually take a bottle to rock him to sleep with. I also had issues with not realizing I wasn't feeding him enough around that age...his appetite grew quite quickly, and being hungry, he wouldn't rest well at all. So...hopefully some of those things will help! Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Our four month old was doing that, too, and we found that he sleeps best in a dark room with a humidifier on (not a quiet one, but one that provides white noise). He does fall asleep in our arms sometimes, but he sleeps best when we put him down drowsy but awake and he puts himself to sleep. His brother was completely different, but we found this really works for both the boys.
It's not fun, but letting him learn to soothe himself to sleep now will really help in the long run. There is a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that really helped me out.

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm tempted to say its teething. I have a 6 month old son and an almost 3 year old son and I was saying to my husband how different they are b/c with the 3 year old I never even knew he was teething until I saw the teeth, or that he had a fever until I happened to feel his head or whatever. But! my second son takes the prize for dramatic, let me tell you! haha... Anyway, he was way off schedule, not sleeping, nothing could sooth him, etc. and finally a tooth popped through and he was fine for a few days. Now he's at it again and I can see a little bump next to his first tooth so I know he must be teething again. Yesterday I got a clean baby washcloth wet and froze it, he love havibg it in his mouth and sucking on it too. It seemed to really make him happy and I imagine the cold probably helped his gums. I give him tylonal about an hour before his nap time and before bedtime and that seems to help a little as well. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from St. Joseph on

Have you tried to feed him more solid foods, like mashed potatoes and such. For some reason when their belly is fool the tend to get tired more easily
I can only assume you are breast feeding or He is still filling up on formula.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I know most will disagree but with my girls, when it's naptime, it's naptime. I put them in their bed and leave. I let them cry it out unless their cry changes to one of distress, then I of course check on them (which they rarely do). It might take a few days but I think he'd get the drift pretty quick when he notices Mommy isn't coming back.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

regardless of the cause, it sounds as if it's time to teach your son to "self-soothe"....& transition from the swing to the bed...which you really will appreciate later! It's going to be tough, but ...seriously all of the other responses are dead-on-true.

& for a 4 month-old, 2-3 naps is pretty good! He's no longer a newborn requiring sleep/feeding around the clock. Maybe if you spread the naps out further, then maybe he'll sleep longer. When he hits that cranky time, it's not always time for nap....but could also mean transition time (tummy time, floor time, toy time, etc). One more thought would be: is he hungry & on cereal/fruits yet? This also helps expand out those naps!

As for music/white noise, it truly does help! I use it for my daycare daily. The older kids actually use it as a frame of reference: when we were watching the classical music portion of the Inauguration, one of the girls actually said, "Oh, listen, they're playing some of Ms. S.'s sleeping music"..........!!!! Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning J., I know you said you tried teething gels but there is one for night time that relaxes them also. I have had to use it during the day also when our gr son's were teething. It really did help out a lot. They have it in flavors so its not so yucky.

You may just have to bite the bullet and put him in his crib for naps. play some white noise maybe baby Einstein classical lullaby's. We always have music at nap time here and at their homes at night time in their rooms.

God Bless and hang in there little mama
K. Nana of 5

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A.

answers from St. Louis on

Assuming you've ruled out sickness, I suggest reading Dr. Weisbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It sounds like he's a lot like my son was at 5 months. My son slept in his swing until 5 months. If your son's reflux (my son has it too) has been relieved with the medicine (if not, he may need a higher dose), there's no reason you can't lay him down in his crib to sleep now. He's more alert now and it's harder to sleep deeply semi-upright in a swing, so he's probably ready to sleep lying down. Also, at this age he's old enough to be able to turn and lift his head, so it's safe for him to sleep on his tummy, which is how most babies his age sleep the best. I don't mean lay him on his tummy (I still lay my 14 month old down on his back), but if he rolls to his tummy, he'll be less likely to have the startle reflex.
He's also old enough to learn how to fall asleep unaided (no rocking, touching, etc. to sleep; before lying him down is fine, but he should fall asleep on his own) after a brief wind-down routine. Ours at nap-time is diaper change, one song and lay him down, which is so much nicer than the super-long one I did and still have to do with my almost 4 year old. Refer to Dr. Weisbluth's book or Dr. Ferber's book on exactly how to do "sleep traning".
Third, he may need to be awake a little longer between naps, but he should ideally take 3 naps still (he could be transitioning early to 2, but I wouldn't assume that).
Because he's maturing mentally, he's likely to wake up briefly between sleep stages (light to deep sleep or vice versa). He needs to learn to fall back to sleep when this happens, so you shouldn't rush to him. Give him a few (5-15 or so) minutes and see if he'll fall back to sleep. Finally, if he's comfortable falling asleep on his own, he won't be startled when he wakes up alone, and if he doesn't get startled, he's more likely to roll over and go back to sleep.
I wouldn't worry too much about the teething. Try giving him Motrin on a regular schedule (every 6-8 hours when awake) for two days and if it doesn't change anything, you can rule out teething as the culprit (assuming he's not sick, of course, so you don't mask any symptoms). He'll be teething pretty much nonstop for two years, so that can't get in the way of everything else.
Basically, you have to be more persistent than him. He's getting more aware that Mommy's fun and sleeping isn't too exciting. But if you become structured (yet not rigid), you'll be so much happier later. I had to do sleep training with both of mine, and I'm so glad I did. My 3 1/2 year old still sleeps 11 hours at night and naps 2-3 hours every afternoon, and since about a year of age, has only awakened at night if she's really sick. I know she's not the norm, but we've also worked at it.
Finally, is his room REALLY dark? That made a difference for us. You can buy black-out curtains or wrap aluminum foil over his windows to block out all light (a friend swears by it). And I highly recommend using a white noise machine- even Walgreens sells them now! If you have any questions, feel free to email me.
PS- now might be a good time to toss the pacifier since he pulls it out anyway. It will be MUCH harder to get rid of it in two years (just ask the Pacifier Fairy!). GOOD LUCK, I remember how frustrating that time is, but I promise it can get better!

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A.T.

answers from St. Louis on

When my son was that age I found that I was out and about more in the summer and less in the winter so he would get restless often because he was stimulated less. Maybe try working with him on crawling or getting him a Johnny Jump up. The extra physical exertion might make him sleep better and longer. Also, putting him in his crib and working out the self soothing issues would do some good. Put him in his crib and if he cries let him for a little while. Calm him down and then put him down. Its hard I know but start slow. Wait an extra 10 minutes to get him up when he cries after a nap or in the morning. Then every day add 5 minutes to that and make sure you don't rush in when he cries. Unless its that blood curtiling I've got my foot stuck scream. But I truly believe that babies need stimuli like we do or we just get restless.

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