Seeking Advice About Back to Back Babies

i have two babies 14 mos apart. one is 13 days old, one is 14 mos old. so far its crazy, im told it gets easier. when they get older they can play together, right now its like having twins! Be prepared! Email me ____@____.com if you want some support! The pregnancy is exhausting too with such a little one at home!

I was born 6 weeks before my sisters first birthday. Her birthday was after the Dec. 2nd cutoff for starting school, mine was before, so my parent's started us in school together. For us, it was great. Our little brother was born when I was 8 1/2...so it was just the two of us for a long time...we are very close to this day. For 6 weeks out of the year, we are the same age and it's really fun explaining it to others...it can and does happen!

I didn't have my own kids as close to you (well I did and I didn't!)....my two closest pregnancies were 17 months. I got pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy when my 2nd child was 8 months old. My 3rd pregnancy was twins and they were full term...I had my first four children by the time my oldest was 3 years and 5 months...I had my fifth daughter just over 2 years later. So basically I had 5 kids in less then 6 years. We had the best times when they were little...they were easy to entertain still being all so little together. Don't let people try to make you feel like you wont bond with the baby, because your older child will still be a baby herself, snuggle time will still be precious, just include her. She'll never remember anything different. She'll bond with the new baby also, I think in a different more unique way then older children. She'll never remember life without the baby and that's okay. She and the baby, no matter a boy or girl are going to be so close, they are going to have a playmate at home, in time, making it a bit easier on you.

Mine are all teens now...we are having so much fun. I miss the days of them being little, but now that they are all really in the same age group, it's so easy, we can do just about anything and we all have fun. I can't imagine having years and years in between my kids.

So basically, I'm saying...I think having kids close in age is wonderful. Let it come natural and enjoy it. It may take some time to get used to at first...for everyone, but it will be okay. Get yourself a nice double stroller and use it. If you don't belong to a mom's group or play group, join one...those days together with your kids and lots of other mom's to help will be much needed time to time.

I wish you an easy uneventful pregnancy!

V.,
I have two kids 18 months apart. Be sure to spend alone time with the older one, after the second one gets here.
My daugher was very jealous of the baby. I used to take her to the grocery store with me, or on some sort of an outing so that she had just me for awhile. Everything will be fine, my kids are now teenagers, and they all get along fine. Although lately the person they dislike the most is mom. They are now 18, 15.5 and 14. SO, it all works out in the long run. A family member of ours has their kids 11months apart, that was when they believed that if you breast fed you would not get pregnant. WRONG!!!
W.

I am the mother of three. My two oldest are 15 months apart. I had very little support from a husband who was at work all the time and I was living in antioch an hour away from family and friends. I have to l you do have alot of work ahead of you, but I wouldn't have changed anything for the world. I joking tell everyone that it would have been easier having twins, but the truth is I loved most of every minute. There will be times when the house will not be clean and the dishes will pile up, and the laundry will be to the roof, but remember this too shall pass. When your children are older and all of that is behind you, they will become each other playmates and above all be each other friends. My children are now ages 16(boy) and 15(girl)and I also have a 13 year old(girl, and my only regret is that the 13 year wasn't born closer in age to the other two, because she sometimes get left out. It is a great and wonderful aventure...Enjoy every minute of it, because in the end we only have them for a short time.

Hi V.,
I haven't done it, but I know people that have. My cousin's first two kids are that close as well. My other cousin had 4 kids in 3 years!! They both said that although it was crazy for the first few years, it's now easy, and the kids are very good friends. It will be hard, but have faith in yourself. ;o)

V., don't be anxious...you are in for another beautiful miracle!!! That's what your in for, and your kids will be best friends!! Yes, it might be hard, because your little girl is still young, she will be just turning 1 when the new baby arrives. Just make sure she recieves lot's of love from daddy and other family members like grandma or auntie, that way when your not available, she won't mind being with her "other mothers". She is young, and you will be changing a WHOLE lot of diapers, but they will grow up together and be like peas and carrots! My first two children are 23 months apart and they are boy and girl and they can't be away from one another for too long!!! Children are resiliant and she will do just fine. You be sure to take care ofYOURSELF, eat right, excercise,drinnk lot's of water and get plenty of rest, your going to be one busy mom!! Since she is still s young you guys can nap together, all THREE of you! Good Luck, you will be in my prayers!
Barbara

Hi V.,

My girls are 14 months apart. I wouldn't have it any other way! The first year was a little tiring, but goes by so fast! My girls are now about 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and they are so much fun! They play together and have the cutest conversations with eachother. I could listen to it forever. The one thing I did that I feel helped, was after the baby was born, I spent an hour every day alone with the older one at the park, etc. for the first few months. There are also a lot of other positives, they will be in the same classes together, enjoy the same movies, activities, etc. I also now have them on the same nap schedule so I get about 2 1/2 hours a day to myself. So, congratulations, it will be great! (Just get through the first year).

I am not going to sugar coat it....it is going to be hard! I have a 4 year old , 22 months and 9 months...yes our little one was a bit of a surprise. I hope you have a great pregnancy, SLEEP at nap times with your daughter, a schedule is very important so you can spend time with both little ones as well as have a moment to yourself. I have had to be very careful about my 22 month old he does not understand gentle and he wants to hug her too tight...we already have a sibling rivalry, he gets really upset if I dont' respond to him the exact second he wants me...It got better once she could sit up on her own, but now she is scooting and they are both getting into everything!

If you want to cry together...let me know :)

Wow!!! How exciting for you! I can say that because I have BEEN THERE! My daughter was 4 months old when I found out that I was 4 weeks pregnant with my son! I cried and cried and cried. I had 2 boys already that were 2 1/2 and 6 1/2...so when my daughter came, I thought we were done!!!
God had other plans!
I'm not going to say that it hasn't been difficult--because it has. What I WILL say is that it is ABSOLUTELY worth it and that if I had to do it over again, I would definitely do it the same way!
My daughter doted and loved her "baby" from day 1 !!! *They are exactly 13 months apart) I never dealt with much jealousy at all! She wanted to be the mommy! She wanted to do everything that I did! Of course, at first she couldn't do much, but she is almost 3 now and they are inseparable! They are best friends, and she always says...." I love my Rafa"...(his name is Rafael)! Yes, they fight and argue...but it's always short-lived. All-in-all, it is soooo much easier than it was with my older 2, because now they always have a playmate. They go everywhere together, they want to always both have the same type of thing, and watch the same cartoons, and play the same games. They nap together at the same time and they even share a room!
The only problem I'm having with that is now she climbs into his crib and plays with him when they are supposed to be sleeping!!! Ahhhh, I love it! It gets very emotional to see such levels of deep love for one another, connection, and comraderie at such a young age. They HAVE to learn cooperation, sharing, caring for others, problem solving and so many other social situations at a young age! In turn, they do well with going to the nursery at church, or the daycare at the gym and things like that. They have each other so they don't get separation anxiety, they don't feel intimidated by other children. They still want thier own individual attention from mommy, daddy, and big brothers...but they are satisfied with taking turns because that's all they know! They are different as night and day. My baby boy outgrew his sister, and she is a princess, girly girl...while he is a rough and tumbly boy whose favorite thing in the whole wide world is his soccer ball. Now looking back, I wish I could go back and get those months when they were infants back again. Though it was tiring and hard, it was short!!!! Too short! Even though I'm a stay-at-home mom, I get more done with my 4 kids than I did with just the 2 that were 4 years apart!!!!
Like I said, I won't say that there aren't tough times, chaos, moments of frustration....but that's with any children of any age difference! It is so worth it, and I truly believe now that it is how it is meant to be. I have been blessed by God with them, and I could've easily missed out. I was on birth control when I conceived my youngest. That realization changed the hearts of my husband and I. Since then, we searched God's word for anything about God's perspective of fertility, children, child-bearing and things like that. While we certainly think that birth-control can't stop God, of course. We do feel that a family can be MORE blessed by the growth of thier own faith. We realized that God's word confirms that He controls the opening and closing of the womb, and that he considers children (all) to be blessings!!! That spoke volumes to us. Why should we limit our own blessings because of lack of faith??? I have faith that God will take the reigns of our family size if we allow him and trust him. He gives us all freedom, sure. But it's the hard road of faith and trust that produces spiritual growth and blessings. God allows us to have freedoms and will let us seek our own choices, only interfering if we want him to...but I don't want that anymore! I want to give it to Him to choose and lead us!!!!
I'm just so grateful! I had 4 children while using different forms of birth control...I was so frustrated because I kept getting pregnant. I have been off of birth control for a year now, and have not gotten pregnant at all!!!! Funny, huh?!?!?!

Anyway, I know that was way off of the subject, but I am just so excited about this journey that God is taking us on, that I just had to share!!!!
Please understand, that I'm not condemning anyone who chooses to use birth control. I used it myself for a long long time. I just wanted to share the blessings we've had from being obedient to what God is calling US to do....not anyone else, just us. Don't think that I am bashing birth control....I am just promoting God-control!!!!!! he he he!!!

All that I can say is treasure those first months, and when you are tired and grouchy...just think about the fact that they will be big before you know it.

Congratulations, and I will be praying for you!

N.

V.:

I have two boys that are 13 months apart. In the beginning, it was really hard. The toddler wanted my attention and to do things with him. While my newborn had needs as well. It was difficult as my husband and me felt torn in all different directions at all times. BUT IT GETS BETTER - I PROMISE. Some say it is harder than twins because developmentally they are in different stages but they are so close in age at times they are the same. It is also hard because you think you have come out of a difficult stage and then the next one just enters it. NOW I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. The boys are best friends. Share a room. Look out for each other and have a bond unlike any of my other children. I feel more blessed with what we went through with them as it made my bond with my husband stronger and working together also strengthed our marriage. Best wishes and Congratulations.

I actually found myself in a similar situation. Having my first son at 34 and getting pregnant a few months later with our other son. I was a bit unhappy at first because I had just gotten used to the idea of having the first baby. It was a "surprise" when I found out I was pregnant so soon again. If you have people/family to help with you new little one take advantage of it. Just have patience and enjoy the time you have with your first now. Once the new one is born your attention focuses on him/her. You have to make sure that you don't let your older one feel left out. My biggest problem was finding time to spend with my first born. Our younger one was quite a handful and took a great deal of my time. If you can stay home and not have to work GREAT!

Good luck and congratulations on you coming arrival.

Hi -
My sister and I were 11 months apart and it worked out well esp when we were younger. My mother did try and treat us the same which was probably not so good but I think peope are less inclined to do that these days. My sons are 17 months apart and they have different personalities for sure. It is great because 70% of the time they get along great. They are 5 and 3.5 now and life is getting so much easier. I have met many people who have had an older single child and in second marriages have decided to have 2 close together because of the entertainment advantage. My second was very easy going so spent 6 months in a bouncy chair watching all of us and the first got plenty of attention. I would switch the first to a bottle at 11 months before the sibling is born and that Dad can do too. What worked great for us was having the kids in in-home daycare. Initially the same two days a week but then when things got to competitive alternating days so that each had a day at home alone with mom and mom still had one day to go to doc, haircut, dentists, yoga etc. In'home daycare also setup good napping habits and varied diet. They'll both be napping for 2-3years so look forward to that break.
Overall near in age has been a great thing,
Best wishes

Hi, my name is M. and I have a two and a half yr. old son.
The same thing happened to my mom with me and my younger sister, in fact we are exactly 1 yr. and 1 day apart, no joke. So please in regard to the little baby girl you already have don´t ever stop treating her like a baby. Give her time to be your baby for a while. I know bc I´ve had issues with never being "the baby". So do what ever you can to always give her a little extra attention and talk to her about it. Congragulations to you and your fam. on the new arrival!

You will be blessed!! We had our "oops" moment 5 months after our first son was born, so I have two adorable little boys 15 months apart. They are now 16 months and 2 1/2 and it is still a bit challenging, but they are starting to play together and really enjoy everything!! For awhile I thought I had twins!! My best advice is to enjoy every moment so that you don't feel like you have missed anything of the older child. Also, the youger one will do everything (except talk) sooner because they see and want to do everything their older sibling does (my son waked at 10 months!!). The baby won't talk because he doesn't need to...his brother talks for him:-) Be ready for exhaustion, due to being pregnant, and the household still must function!! I remember tons of family visiting us in the hospital with boy #1. Boy # 2...it was him and me, because my husband needed to take care of our older son:-) You will need to spend lots of time with your older child, as she will get jealous because of the household upheaval and constant attention that arrives with the new baby. The older child will also have a few setbacks due to wanting to "stay a baby." Such as talking or potty training. Overall, your happiness and joy will be doubled!!

Hello,

I don't have experience with having 2 kids as close as age as you will be experiencing (my boys are 23 months apart) however I can say that with the age difference in mine I had a toddler and a newborn just as you will, so recruit some help if you can!

I was fortunate enough to be able to save up some money and have a housecleaner come in every two weeks for the first 6 months after the baby was born and that was a huge burden off me. Of course unless you have a wonderful husband who is willing to take on the household duties role (mine would just rather pay someone else to do it so thats what we did lol). Even if a professional housecleaner is out of the budget putting up an ad at your local college would be a good way to get an extra set of hands to help with the household stuff that way you can have more time to rest yourself (when you can) and spend time with your older child. I was very afraid that my oldest was going to be put on the back burner and not get the attention that he needs (and demands, he keeps me very busy) so having the household help for awhile was great when I was sleep deprived and barely had a minute for myself.

Little did I know that my newborn would be very colicky starting at the age of 3 weeks so he consumed most of my attention and energy and that battle lasted until almost 4 months.My mom came often to help out with the kids (give me a break, so I could take a nap etc.) so if family or friends offer their help definitely take them up on their offer or don't be afraid to ask for help :)

Hi V.-
I saw your post and wanted to respond from a different vantage point.I know you want to hear from other moms who have been thru this. I have not had back to back babies - rather I am a "back to back baby". My older brother and I are 12.5 months apart!

I know that my mom had times that were very challenging juggling my brother and I when we were very little. To make it more complicated for her and my Dad, I was born with pneumonia and required extra care for awhile. Thank goodness for the support of family and friends to help thru this time.

Anyway - once we got old enough to move around - my mom has always said that it was great because we became inseperable as playmates and got a lot easier for her. We could entertain each other for hours. We really grew up more like twins since we were so close in age. And to this day my brother and I have a unique special bond.
I personally would not trade that for the world.

Best of luck to you. If it is rough in the beginning - know that as they get older it will be a special experience for them and you as well!

Take care-
K.

Just breath and think about it this way you will have twins well Irish twins that is. I have a 20 month son and an 8 month old girl-they are exactly 11 months and 14 days apart. I won't lie it was tough. Here I had a baby not sleeping through the night until i was 10 month pregnant, taking all my time and energy all to find out I was pregnant and would need to focus on the one in the world and the one developing in the belly.

So what would my advice be, here goes:

1. Get on the same schedule as your baby because if you think your tired now, just wait..so nap all you can.

2. Childproof your house entirely now! I waited until my son was 9 months which meant I was just entering my third trimester - not only could i not remember s**t - it was exhausting just taking care of the daily routine let alone preparing the house for an active toddler.

3. When you have the next one who will care for your little girl while you are in the hospital and just home -- you will need at least two weeks of help minimum. This one is very important... i was fortunate to have my mom come up and help with my son who was just turning one the weekend after having the baby... at this age they dont understand what is going on they need constant attention and SUPERVISION - nor are you able to explain what is going on...so someone needs to be their all day to help cater to what is essentially twins just at different development levels.

If you have a specific question or concern feel free to ask.

Now, even though mine are both still babies I am really glad I had them close together and know that they will be extremely close ... my husband and i are even talking about starting them in school the same year... we'll see in a few years.

N.

Well, I am pregnant with my second and they will be 6 years apart - however - I have worked as a nanny for many years and have worked with all the different age differences. I will say that in the long run, they are going to be so close and such great playmates for each other. It has actually been hard to entertain my daughter for the past 3 years being an only child. It's many times easier with 2 close in age as they can keep each other busy. Having said that... until they are about 4 and 3 years old, it is going to be hard work and very trying. Please keep in mind that a one year old and a 2 year old require just as much attention and comforting as a newborn. Just because the new baby comes, you can't expect the older baby to be a "big kid" yet. So be patient. It will be hard and tiring but it will also be rewarding and fun. Just keep reminding yourself how great it will be after you get through the first couple of years. And enjoy those little ones - they grow up way too fast!! Good luck! Stay calm and peaceful! Ask for help from family and friends when you need it.

V.,

Congratulations!

There is 14 months (10 1/2 months & 2 years old) between my youngest and my middle child (plus babysit one the same age as my middle) . I did not find it that difficult when he was first born, I kept to the same schedule I had a with the older child since she was already comfortable, I then set the baby on the same schedule. My daughter has wanted to be the mom from the beginning and is always telling me he needs medicine or a bottle and on ocassion has even tried changing his diaper when I run out of the room. She is very loving and caring to him. When things get tough I remind myself that God would not give me more than I can handle and all things are possible as long as I place my trust in Christ.

I am now finding it a little more difficult as the baby is getting more active and into things because his sister is more advanced and is constantly leaving her toys all over the house and he wants anything she has.

I do feel that I missed my daughters babyhood, I was so tired at the beginning and then on bedrest the last 20 weeks.

I can tell you how it is from the other side. My brother is 13 mo younger than I am. We did play a lot together when we were little. My Mom enjoyed that part but said it probably would have been easier in some respects if we were twins. Anyway, I've always been close to my brother. We even had our own language we made up when we were little and we even shared imaginary friends. Of course there were times in High School we would ignore each other at school :-). This just made me think what a blessing this was! The best to you and your family!

Dear V.,
I was in the same situation as you are now, 21 years ago. I had my two children 11 months apart. They are the same age for 10 days every year. What you will have is Irish twins. My two, a boy and girl were best of friends and still are. My advice for you at this time is, try to stop breast feeding the first one before the second one is born. My first one interupted that time with the new baby. Get the first one in its own room and try to get her to sleep through the night (we got a book called -How to get your baby to sleep through the night in 3 days or less). This way you have to only deal with one baby during the night. Most importantly SLEEP when you can, and understand that you will be tierd. I got a snuggly for my second one, because it is great to have one child on your body and one in hand or in a stroller. I even would vacuum with the infant in the snuggly. Invest in a good double stroller, it makes a difference in wheather you go out or not. The second year seemed to be the most exhasting for me. Because when you have a one and two year old at the same time, you have two new walkers and neither one is old enough to know right from wrong yet, so you are always on guard.(I had two harnesses for my kids when we went to the park and walked. Because once my two ran in different directions and I freaked out. I could only get one at a time.) But you have time to get use to the idea. Pray if you do that, and do not be afraid to get help from friends and reletives. Do not forget about yourself. Pamper yourself once in a while, let someone watch your babies.....and escape. You will last longer that way. Enjoy your one while you have only one.
One last thing....Be sure to take as many pictures of the second one as you did the first or else when they are older they will be questioning why...mine did, because I was to busy to take as many pictures of my second.
Relax, Relate, Release!
E.

Don't be nervous, just enjoy the ride... My girls are 13 months apart in age so I know what you are going through. The first few years were challenging, but now it's great! They get along so well because they are so close developmentally and just when my eldest gets through with one phase, my youngest starts and I feel confident I can handle it. In the beginning, the hardest part was trying to give both of my babies enough time and attention. Luckily, my youngest wasn't as demanding as some babies and my eldest was busy exploring the world. I also had my parents to help me. I can't imagine what it must be like to have twins!
When I was pregnant the second time, my eldest rode on my belly because she couldn't walk yet! It must have looked a little funny. My second pregnancy and birth was quite a bit easier. I loved that I was able to stay home for my eldest daughter because it didn't make sense for me to go back to work just to have to take another maternity leave a few months later! I can't say it was easy, but I am glad it happened the way it did. Now, in many ways it is much easier. I'm sure you'll do fine. Congratulations!

P.S. I also got my figure back quite quickly after both because I was so busy running around. I also didn't have time to remember what is was like to sleep! LOL

I had three children within 4 1/2 years and my husband traveled for work. Get yourself some help. If you can sleep when you need to, it makes everything easier. We got an au pair, which really didn't cost as much as I thought it would. She had a split schedule, so I could sleep-in if I needed to. She was off in the middle of the day (at least one child was napping at that time) and then she helped in the afternoon evening. I liked the security of having another adult around at night too - even if she was sleeping I knew that if something happened I wasn't alone.