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Seeking a Way to Help My Daughter Lose Weight.

I'm the mom of a beautiful, but overweight 10 (soon to be 11) year old. I could really use some input on how to help my daughter lose weight. I send her lunch to school with her and make sure it is healthy. Usually, it is turkey (no bread), carrots with Ranch, fruit and flavored water. She is very active at school and when she comes home she is outside playing with friends until my husband or I call her in. I was taking her to the gym with me for a while but when they found out how old she was they said that she was to young to be on the equipment and that she couldn't join until she was 12.
There are times when we go shopping for new clothes for her that we both end up in tears because all the kids clothes are too tight and all the adult clothes are to "grown-up" so we end up with nothing. I am concerned about her health if she does not lose weight. I've heard that if a child is overweight at the age of 12 there is a good chance they will be overweight for the rest of their life. Any help is appreciated.

What can I do next?

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I'm sorry she is having to go through this. I know a few people who admit to being over weight as kids and young adults and they are slim now (they do have to work at it). I know that eating breakfast as early as possible is a great way get things started, and having more snacks or small meals helps too. some times stress of losing weight causes some to gain. Try not to "exercise" and go have fun. Dancing, roller skating, and swimming are great to boost self esteem and are underestimated. If these things don't seem to help, love is the only thing that remains. I hope you guys have great times together.

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If your daughter is truly overweight then this is very serious. Type 2 juvenile diabetes is way up in our society and it is completely preventable. Your daughter may have a medical problem though like thyroid or something that needs to be evaluated by a doctor. Take her to be evaluated by a good doctor! If he/she says there is nothing medically wrong and that only diet and exercise is needed than I suggest you enroll your daughter and yourself in a program like Weight Watchers. The whole family should be educated on making good food choices regarding healthy eating. I am on a diet myself and have lost 51 lbs. in the last 11 months. I am relearning how to eat right which is so important.

The other thing I notice from your post is that you remarried. Perhaps your daughter is doing emotional eating due to some underlying factors. Perhaps she feels neglected since the new husband came into your life and is turning to food as a comfort? Even if he loves her and is wonderful with her you never know what can go through a kids mind. She ruled the roost until he came along and it could have an emotional effect on her. Perhaps a pediatric psychologist could help too? It sounds like you make good food choices for her lunch but what could she be getting on her own and why? If it's not a medical condition then this fat is related to overeating which could be a symptom of a larger problem.

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R. go to your pediatrician. Talk to them about your concerns.
They can recommend a nutritionist or dietitian. She sounds very active keep encouraging that. I understand about clothes not fitting well.. I am a l fluffy girl myself. Have you thought about looking in the junior sections? Or maybe even finding someone that can sow her clothes, they can usually make patterns from scratch.
Keep your chin up!

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You don't mention how overweight your daughter is, nor do you mention whether you and/or her father have weight issues. It is genetic, although lifestyle does contribute. I was a chubby child and your daughter is at the age when alot of girls are at their chubbiest just before puberty. So, I honestly would not be so, so worried. The impact on her self esteem of having her mother not approving of her weight is likely a far bigger issue. As far a shopping, you might consider some of the online catalogs like Lands' End that have high quality, classic styled clothing at reasonable prices and they have quite a few plus size items for girls (I am petite, so I can fit into some of the larger size girls clothing and they are really, really cute IMHO).

I think it's a fallacy that if your daughter is chubby at 12 that she'll be that way as an adult. I am no longer chubby (indeed I've had people call me thin, something I never would have imagined as a child who had very poor self esteem because I was the only chubby one in my family). You also don't mention what your daughter eats for breakfast - that's very important. I didn't develop a healthy weight until I started eating a good breakfast regularly. Also, I would get rid of the flavored water if it has artificial sweeteners. More and more research is showing that those actually contribute to weight gain.

In short, I would suggest you just keep feeding her a healthy diet, encouraging exercise (riding bicyles as a family is a great way for everyone to stay fit) and work to find clothes that complement her figure. The suggestion of others to work with a nutritionist is likely a good if you do have doubts about whether you daughter is getting adequate nutrition. Supplements can help in some cases. Also, having your peditrician checking the status of vital nutrients like B-12, folate and ferritin is a really good idea. In addition, you may want to ask that they check her thyroid as a low functioning thyroid (evidenced by elevated TSH) can result in weight gain despite a healthy diet and exercise.

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First, if she is eating healthy and is active, have you taken her to the doctor to find out why she is overweight? Does she sneak high calorie foods or are you providing other meals that are high in calories that she is overeating? If the weight gain is recent, it might have something to do with your recent marriage. If it's emotional, I would recommend letting her speak to a counselor about what's going on with her that's making her overeat. She's only 10 so if her eating is not emotionally motivated or she doesn't have some other underlying health issue that's causing her to gain weight, my best advice is to not make a big deal about it.

I was an obese child and I think I ate more every time my mom would mention anything about my weight. I think if my mom would have had healthy foods in the house, and didn't constantly nag me about my weight, things might have turned out differently. Instead, we ate very high fat meals, had high calorie snacks available all the time and my mother would sabotage me all the time by giving me treats as rewards. I am trying very hard not to do that to my children.

My daughter is slightly overweight. I think she eats more than the average child her age, so we've learned to keep healthy snacks like fruits. lean meats, whole grain breads, and vegetables available for those times she says she is "starving" and can't wait for dinner. We let her participate in soccer, at her request, as a way to get additional exercise outside of school P.E. and just general kid's playing and running around. Also, whenever she asks to get on the treadmill, we always say sure. She thinks it's fun and we're happy she's getting some extra exercise. We never ever tell her she needs to be more active or exercise more or anything like that.

I also try very hard not to mention anything about her weight. When she wants snacks, I usually let her have one "unhealthy" thing, like a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (always on whole wheat), but she knows if she wants anything else, it has to be something healthy. We pretty much let her have an unlimited amount of fruits and veggies. And our deal is that I don't care if she doesn't eat anything else on her plate at dinner time, but I expect her to eat all of her vegetables. I do that so that she knows she has some control and at the same time, I know she's getting the vitamins she needs to be healthy.

Bottom line, if you are providing her healthy food choices and opportunities for activity and exercise without making her weight an issue, she should begin to see some progress. Again, don't make it an issue and don't think it will change overnight. My step-son, who's now 21, was obese when he came to live with us at the age of 7. I did the same for him that I'm doing for my daughter, and by the time he was in 8th grade, he had lost so much weight he was no longer big enough to play a lineman in football like he had since his dad began coaching him in the peewee league several years prior. It was very gradual, but now he loves fruit and will usually choose that for a snack over chips or some other unhealthy option. He's very fit and lean and doesn't seem to have any food issues at all now.

My approach would be just to give her love, time and healthy lifestyle options and if she doesn't have any other underlying physical or emotional issues, it should all work out ok.

Good luck!

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Sorry, but I dont have any advice as far as weight loss goes. I did want to let you know that JC Penneys carries a whole line of girls plus sizes. All the cutest and lastest fashions. Give them a try and good luck to you and your daughter. Dont be too hard, if she is eating healthy most kids outgrow it.

Hi R., I come from a large family with lots of girls. The best thing you can do for yourself & your daughter is not to make a big deal of this. She could possiably have a thyroid problem but just change her snacks & her sugar intake as well as her portion size at meal time. If she is active as you say, she will balance out. I'm the big one in my family & have a grandaughter who is 10 & is overweight as well. If she is bothered by this or getting made fun of, just keep encouraging her to except and love herself for the beautiful person that God created her to be. Please don't let her know that you have a problem with her weight, this only makes her feel that you can't except it there is nothing worse than feelong unexcepted by the person that should love you unconditionally. I hope I'm not being to blount but I've been there with my oldest daughter as well. God Bless you both.

If she is eating healthy consistantly and getting exercise, I would have her evaluated at the Dr.

She is approaching (if not already) the age of hormones, etc and maybe something is off balance IF her weight gain is fairly new.

I have a 13 yr old, EXtremely health conscious to the point that I have to monitor that she eats enough. She would live on salad and fruit if I would allow it. She tells me of her friends at school who take healthy lunches, ditch them and get the junk in the cafeteria. These "friends" are slightly overweight. She also has friends here a lot and I make healthy dinners, etc and they just don't eat it. They prefer to order pizza, go to Chik Filet, raid my pantry which has very little junk, etc.

I feel for you and your daughter because kids are so cruel at school, especially at this age.

Good luck.

Hi my daughter was like this at age 10 to 12. What happen was I let her start riding her bike over to her friend who lived about 5 to 6 blocks away . They would meet half way the either ride to her friends house or to our home. Her weight started falling off plus she was getting close to age 13 . The teenage years around 13 to 14 she started to grow taller and thinner. But I think riding that bike all summer help sooooooo much. So try bike riding. Best wishes M.

R....I feel your pain! I also have a 10 year old daughter that has been fighting a weight problem for a couple of years. Tears....tears...and more tears. What I have done with my daughter is to teach her portion control....sounds simple and hard...but it is the one thing that has worked. We both eat out of a small plate and eat just a little. She was wearing clothes in the girls plus sizes which broke my heart. Yesterday we were at JC Penny's and she was able to wear the regular pants with no elastic. She was so excited. Basically if she eats bread it is whole grain. She takes her lunch and eats good veggies, protein, and fruit. It can be done....just have to teach her how to eat at her young age. Good luck!

I can speak personally of this issue. You might want to have some lab work run. If she's only eating what you're sending to school and is as active as you say, she may have a thyroid or other harmonal issue. I also know girls put on weight around the time they start developing/starting periods.

Having said that. I never had a weight problem until my tonsillectomy as a child. I kid that I have lost 500 lbs over my lifetime, but it's really not a joke. My mother is small, my sister is small, my dad was heavy for a portion of his life, but now he is small as well. I still have a weight problem.

My mother never lectured me or made me feel bad. I ate healthfully most of the time, however food is a crutch for me.

As an overweight person who has fought this battle for years the best advice I can give you is continually help her make good choices where food is concerned, get plenty of rest and exercise. Don't make it all consuming.


She may still have some baby fat that will fall off when she reaches puberty. Otherwise, it sounds as though she, or you, are starving her. No bread is not the answer. Turkey and carrots are not a good meal. She should have something from all the food groups. Cut fat and calories where you can without depriving such as skim or low-fat milk instead of whole milk. She needs fruits that are not high in natural sugar like strawberries. She also needs a certain amount of good fats in her diet, or she will not shed the fat. Does she like almonds? Pork rinds make a good snack; low in fat, moderately low in sodium, and no carbs. Buy her some clothes to flatter her figure and encourage her that she looks good in them....not cry with her because she can't wear skinny clothes. This won't help her lose weight at all. Seek the help of a doctor or nutritionist, but don't put her on diet pills. If she is as active as you say, she needs more food to burn fat. Hope this helps some.

R. - as you can well attest, this is a sensitive thing for a little girl. However, she is still growing, and her body does require a specific set of nutrients. Here are some things you can do to help your little love lose weight without compromising her nutrition.

Nothing white - but do include whole grains into her diet. Whole grain bread, pasta, cereals.

No sugar. Read labels and make certain there isn't sugar creeping in anywhere in her diet (ie: the flavored water, lunch meat, ranch). The only sugar children should have in their diets are those naturally occuring - such as in fruit.

Instead of using artificial sweetners which are dangerous for anyone - especially a growing child, use stevia. It is available at Whole Foods in liquid and powder form.

Make sure that her metabolism is functioning correctly - that there are no thyroid issues.

Increase her activity. Summer is coming - enroll her in swim lessons, join your local YMCA - they have excellent Kid Fit programs all summer long.

Set the example. Make certain she doesn't feel isolated or singled out at meal times because she's on a 'diet'.

If you were to follow a regimented 'diet' persay - the only one out there that is suitable for a child is Bob Green's Best Life Diet. It is very simple - and very, very healthy - with tons of food options.

With any weight loss - it comes down to simple math - the simple formula that one must burn more calories than they consume. This is difficult to address without setting up other issues in a 10 year old little lady - but with love and creativity in approach -you can do it.

Regardless of how you approach this - make sure your little girl knows that she is beautiful and that there is no one on earth like her (and that's a good thing!!). Reinforce healthy habits, reward her hard work and tell her everyday why she is incredible.

I am currently going through this same thing with my sister and my 10 year old neice. With creativity (and a little upward growth - she's gotten taller!) we are on our way to having almost licked this issue. We got the whole family on board and it has been a study in sensitivity, love and patience - with a whole lot of experimenting in the kitchen - which she was included and involved in - so it meant quality time with her mama and aunts (nothing better than girl time), and fun outdoor activity for the whole family.

Good luck!

Just a thought, but have you had your daughters thyroid checked at the Doctors office. If it is too high or too low if makes it very difficult to maintain a normal weight.

I can relate to you and your daughter with me being the chubby kid at 10 through 13. Several things happened and caused me to gain weight, I lost my mom and lived between my house and several aunts (my dad work swing shift). As far as the clothes go, can you sew or do you know someone who does? have them make up for her in the latest fashion.

Don't nag her about her weight just keep good things in the house to eat. My aunt whom I lived with was a stickler about weight and it did bug me quite a bit. Near the end of my high school years, the weight came off on its own.

Have a good check up done by the doctor as she maybe getting ready to start her cycle. Be good to her and stop the worry about her not fitting in with the peer groups right now. She needs to stay healthy not skinny. Good luck and keep us posted.

Hi R.,

I skimmed some of the posts. My advice is like others have the Dr. give you a thumbs up that there aren't any problems. Make sure that you are using a medical weight chart to decide how overweight she is. Make sure she stays very active. Start working with her daily on her self opinion. Grab some fruit two or three apples and ask her if they are absolutely identical? No?!? Well neither are we as humans, and what's a "right" weight for one person isn't a "right" weight for another. We were created different, special, and unique. We're not a cookie cutter. She doesn't look in her face like any of her friends. Her body isn't going to either. When you shop with her and nothing fits her body. Well then you both be angry with the clothing designers and the retail establishment. They are doing our children a disservice by conforming to only ONE standard of size. At her age the last thing I would do is to "diet". I personally think that the ZONE diet is the best way to eat for life. I like that it is balanced and not extreme. I would cut out as many pre-packaged, filled with chemicals foods for her. Stick to fresh/frozen foods that you cook at home. Eat varying proteins including fish, (hopefully nobody's allergic). The other nutrition information I like a lot is the Maker's Diet. Both of these in my opinion are not like dieting at all. You get food from all three groups at each meal. You eat consistently all day long and can eat from every food group. The most important thing for your daughter is that she not "feel" defective.

One more note on this. Recently we watched an 80's movie I grew up with. You should rent this with your daughter and watch it. It was Karate Kid, the first one, I was beyond shock at the NORMAL look of all the girls. I don't think even one girl was rail thin.

My daughter is overweight. My husband's family are all overweight. I have tried to teach her sound rules to eat by and have tried to teach her to be at peace with her body. One day if she decides to diet or lose alot of weight it'll be for health reasons and not because our current society thinks she if fat. Many blessings. btw, she is about to turn 18, :( so I don't micro manage her eating, but when she eats in a ZONE fashion she starts to drop weight right away.

It is hard to answer with little info about your particular situation. Need to know how tall is your daughter and how much does she weigh? If your daughter is eating healthy all the time and is active, she may very well be healthy but just going through a normal part of life that so many females experience. Pre-pubescent girls may have a little extra weight around the middle that will decrease after they begin to have regular periods. (you might be thinking, she's only 10 nearly 11) My daughter went through the same thing. She was rather chubby, and I was pretty concerned about it. But when she turned 11 she started her period, that same month. She is nearly 12 and has lost all her chubbiness and looks fantastic. She can actually still wear clothes from last summer and even the one before. She has grown quite a bit taller and has stayed the same in weight. If you feel that despite a healthy diet and exercise that she is somehow more than typical prepubescent chubby, then maybe you need to take her to a doctor and have her tested for diabetes. If untreated this can lead to extreme weight issues no matter how you eat or exercise. I have a girlfriend who is only 33 and needs a kidney transplant because her mother ignored this problem. Please seek medical attention if you suspect this at all.
Post with any more questions.

Have you taken her to a physician to see if this is a
pyhsical problem? Have you checked her thyroid?
Otherwise why not invest in a home exercise system?
You would have to be very careful and help her select the right type of exercises for an 8 year old.
Also, is it possible that the weight is from the stress of
being Rubenesque? Why not remove the pressure?
Why not locate a seamstress and have her clothing custom made? A good seamstress could take a pair of shorts and use as a pattern. Also, you might find a seamstress who could actually build patterns from pictures and make your daughter fashionable clothing. I know of a lady in Stpehonville Texas who can do this although she does not do so commercially. Just a thought.

Her lunch sounds like it might not be enough! Is she starving when she gets home from school? My daughter was always on target until around age 8 ½ -10 ½. We had the same problem clothes shopping because all the sudden nothing fit! She was spending a lot of time with her Dad, and he doesn’t cook so most of their meals were take-out. I talked to her about the effects of eating healthy foods, and the importance of exercising. We have become each others support system and are mindful of what we eat and make sure exercise is done.

Seek a nutritionist to help you with your menu. Eating healthy needs to be a family affair. Eating healthy doesn't have to be a punishment if you look for things that are good.
Are you sure there are no health issues involved in her weight. I would check that out as well.

R. -

definitely talk to your doctor to make sure there is not a medical reason for her weight, but also read the just published book New Prescription for Childhood Obesity by Dr. Billy Johnson (I found it on amazon). It will give you a lifestyle of eating that is not a diet, allowing her to make good choices for the rest of her life. Part of his new prescription teaches that kids are not getting sufficient antioxidants and phytonutrients - you have to read what he says to see why it makes so much sense. I have an excerpt that I can email to you - it addresses autism in particular, but the info is vital for all adults and children.

Don't let your kids suffer from lack of antioxidants and phytonutrients - call me for a convenient, tasty, high quality source that you can throw in their lunches, recommended by Dr. Billy Johnson, Ph.D.


Based on your post, I don't think you are overreacting at all. It sounds like you are concerned mostly about her emotions and her body image. Let me tell you, as a chubby kid, I FELT like I was a fat kid. As a curvy teenager, I FELT like a fat teenager. It's hard to see the truth about your body when you measure yourself up against little stick figure girls. I am now a fat adult, about to make the step next month in having weight loss surgery. If I have one wish as a mom, it's to keep my DD from every having to feel about herself the way that I do. If I could make one wish to go back in time, it would be that my mom would have taught us about portions and making "deals" with ourselves about food. (i.e. if you have sugary cereal or pancakes for breakfast, make sure you have something healthy and lighter for lunch and dinner.) Believe it or not, not everyone has these skills. I have to be conscience of it EVERY day. The other thing I have had to learn is to find my worth in God, see myself as the person He created me to be. That helped me make my decision to have surgery. Good luck with your DD, keep being a great, caring mom...it goes a LONG way with your kids!

I agree with most of the other post espicially take her to a pedicitrian and have her evaluated b/c you don't want to cause more issues trying to self diagnose the problems as we adults tend to do with our own weight issues.

There could be several simple things that may be need to be done and the problem solved but b/c of her age I would definetly take her to the doctor and have her evaluated and go from there from the sounds of things whatever the dr recommends should be a breeze based on the actions you have already been taking.

Good Luck and Pray about it also try not to stress over it b/c your daughter can see the stress and this will cause her to stress as well added more to the issue at hand.

Pray and ask for guidance God Bless!

I wouldn't over worry as she's only 10...but it sounds like you are worried about her self esteem. Tell her how beautifuly she is and do things that will help build her self esteem.

I'd definitely seek assistance with a doctor and dietician to make sure she's eating healthy all day. I've read and worked out with a personal trainer. One thing I've found in common is that we (everybody) should be eating 5-6 times a day...this means eating every 3 hours and eating small portions. If you'd like me to email you the plan I was on private message me with your email and I'd be happy to forward it to you.

Each meal consisted of protein, carbs, water, etc. I had fruit & wheat bread with my meat the first three meals of the day and veggies (no bread) the last three meals of the day. What I loved best was that I chose which foods I ate. I didn't eat anything I didn't like! :) I felt very energetic and healthy too! The trainer said that it would be beneficial for my entire family...husband 9 year old and 4 year old.

Many blessings!

I do not mean to be rude just stating my opinion but I think you are putting way to much of an emphases on your daughters weight. I do not know how big she is but I think you maybe close to giving her a complex. I think if my mom would had been as concerned as you are, and made it as obvious as you are (shopping for clothes and ending up in tears, etc..) that I would feel like I let my mom down if I did not lose weight. You can be a little overweight and still be healthy. If you notice your daughter is overweight then I am sure the other kids at school do as well, and possibly make fun of her. It would be awful if she gets made fun of at school and then she comes home to pressure from her parents as well. You do not have to be a certain size to be happy and healthy.

If she is very active and doesn't have a lot of pop or snacks that are full of calories & she is eating a healthy balanced diet , it sounds to me like she is healthy, & not anything to worry about except her self esteem with your worrying so much. There are dress shops out there for teens that have very cute (hip) clothes, and also a catalog with cloths for pre-teens, and teens that have the same style is regualr and extra sizes. If she isn't acouch potatoe, and doesn't sit in front of TV or computer, and is actually as active as you say, I think she will be o.k. and will probably slim down. But you two should not want her to look like a model, that is unrealistic, (just in case ).

I agree with Mary. I was a chubby 10 year old (right around puberty, especially) and the worst thing my mom did was tell me I was chubby and make obvious efforts to make me lose weight. All that did was push me in the opposite direction. If she really is eating as well as it seems and getting exercise, then I wouldn't worry. She may be getting ready for a growth spurt or puberty and she'll need that extra chub. If she gets upset when looking for clothes, help her realize that she's beautiful the way she is and it's not her fault that kids clothing is so awful (bad sizing and nothing for girls with curves). Another reason for you to just be supportive and not critical is that kids her age can be very, very cruel. Most likely, she'll be teased at school, if she isn't already, and your criticizing will only make that worse.

Another piece of advice - educate her on eating well and be a good role model. Don't restrict her diet (i.e. forbid her from having french fries when you go to McDonalds or forbid her from having sweets). The most important message you can convey regarding food is everything in moderation. Yes, it's okay to have a piece of cheesecake at a special occasion. It's not okay to have more than one piece or to eat it on a regular basis. If you forbid certain foods, it will only make her want them more, especially when she gets more freedom as she gets older (like when she's 16 and can drive herself through a drive-thru window).


If your daughter is as active as you say she is and is eating healthy (not just at lunch but at home too), then I would have her looked at by a doc...endocrinologist probably. She likely has a medical issue causing her weight problem...thyroid, etc. Rather than having her feel like crud by forcing healthy food down her and trying to take her to the gym...take her to a doc and make sure there isn't a justified reason for her weight issue. If you don't, you'll end up pushing her the other way and she'll need years of therapy to recover from the mental anguish of growing up being reminded of being fat. I know because my sister in law went through this exact same thing with my hubby's dad doing this...Good luck!!!

Have you had her thryoid count checked? I have a daughter who is 11. She is 5'8'' a weighs 180. I know the fear of having a overwight child. We have tried everything. Weight watchers, Jenny Craig, Gym. NOthing has helped us we have traced my husbands family history and found that large people run in the family. Keep enougracing her to exercise....We love basketball and gymnastics. I know bodies will change during puberty. IF she is a size 18 1/2 to 20 1/2 in kids plus......try Lane Bryant....we just disvocered them in our area. Very Hip and Kid friendly clothing in sizes that fit.

My 6 year old daughter is also a little overweight, she has a big belly and clothes shopping is torture, but we find ways to laugh about them. I am going to have her allergies tested this summer and see if she is allergic to some foods, that also can cause weight gain and be tough for them to lose it. I know this because of my husband's sister, she is obese and had some allergy tests done, got a huge list of foods she shouldn't be eating. Of course she didn't take the advice, had gastric bypass surgery and is still obese, but if she would just cut out the foods she is allergic to, the pounds would fall off. My daughter is always sniffling, etc and I think this is the way to go for us. You might try it too. Good luck and when clothes shopping find a way to laugh, it really takes the sting out of the whole experience, I have friends and a niece that also have this problem but we find the humor and compassion in each other and our daughters problems. Good luck. L.

Is it possible that your daughter may have hypothyroidism? On accident one day when I was in 5th grade, we discovered I had a goiter on my thyroid - turns out I had hypothyroidism. Which helped explain my abnormal weight (I looked "stumpy".) However, we just thought I was going through the "change" that made girls a little plump at first. I immediately began taking daily pills and you can really tell a difference in my school pics from 6th grade - and certainly by 7th, when I as all back to "normal!" I still have to take pills, but it is a relatively minor thing. I HATED my body when I was fat - I would look at myself and cry! But once we discovered the prob. - things got better in a hurry!

It only takes a simple blood test to find out your daughter's thyroid level.

Hope that helps!

Something I am looking into doing for myself is jazzercise, and upon looking at it, I saw that they also have jr. jazz classes, until they are 11 and they they can go with you to all of your classes. It might be a great way for both of you to do some exercise together that is fun and up to date (I hear) with the music etc. I would do a lot less talking, and more doing with the entire family. And if you do have to explain something, make sure it is about being healthy, not skinny:) And, for sure, ask her pedi for any thoughts he may have. I am sure this is hard on you, for her and you both. Best of luck ~A.~

Time to talk to the Pedi! If she is excersising, eating healthy, there may be a thyroid condition, or a blood disorder. Please seek your Dr.s advice, it is hard to be the "chubby" girl, and everyone talks about you behind your back! A therapist might also help, so she has an outlet for her emotions.

When I was in 7th grade I weighed 120 lbs at normal height. I remember asking my mom "I think 120 is good, I don't think I need to lose any weight." Her response was "Well, I wouldn't want to gain any." I am 37 and I can still hear that conversation in my head. She didn't mean anything by it, but it didn't tell me, "yes, you are beautiful. I think you look great." A mom has a lot of influence in a daughter's body image.

I agree with others. Go to a dr and have her checked out....thyroid, diabetes and see a dietician, just to cover your bases. Then, once all of that is over, drop the weight issue. You'll create something that doesn't need to even be mentioned in a 10 year olds head. Just keep offering healthy food choices, and exercise as a family. She needs to know that your new husband accepts her too, as she is.

Shop til you find something that fits and try to hold yourself together if things don't fit right. Don't cry about her weight in front of her. Be upbeat and positive.

Good luck, I'm looking forward to hearing your updates!

It sounds to me that you seem to be trying a lot to help your daughter. Have you tried taking her to a pediatrician and having her thyroid checked. If she has problems with her thyroid, then it can cause her to gain weight and keep it on, no matter what she does. If it were me I think I would go to the doctor and have her tested. Let them know of your concerns and the things that you have tried to rectify the issue. Usually doctors have a lot of other options, that we as parents, have not thought of. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Talk about deja vu...my 10 year old gained about 30 lbs over the course of the summer between 2nd-3rd grade through the end of 3rd grade. I took her to the Dr. and had a full round of blood work done, to make sure she didn't have thyroid problems like I do, or that she may have any signs of Diabetes. This was in January and all tests came back negative. In July, she had inexplicably lost about 28 lbs and I found that she had Diabetes type 1. Apparently, the weight gain, despite the healthy eating and extra activity, was a result of "pre-diabetes". If your daughter starts shedding weight without extra effort, please take her in right away. We were happy at first to think that our efforts to eat healthier and increase activity were paying off, until we started tracking it and found that she lost 4 lbs in one week without any apparent cause.

Eating healthy and exercising are the only right ways to lose weight. Is she eating healthy at all meals or only lunch? If she eats healthy at all times and is as active as you said, and is still not losing weight, I would wonder if she has something out of balance somewhere that could be found with blood work. (maybe thyroid?) Have you visited with her doctor about the problem? Does your daughter want to lose weight? If it is not something that she is 100% on board with she could be sneaking snacks along the way that are hurting her efforts. Or if she feels deafeated, or feels that there is no way she can lose weight maybe it has taken away her will to try. Just some thoughts, I hope she finds something that works for her soon.

It sounds like you are on the right path with helping her make healthy choices. Have you tried getting her involved in a sport that would require endurance conditioning? At her age, most soccer teams do a lot of running, and it would be introduced in a fun way, without the message of weight reduction. If she is not interested in a team sport, you may look into a gymnastics program. Most gyms will offer beginner levels that are not super intensive and work their way up as the abilities increase. Not only Olympic contenders participate in gymnastics, it can be a beneficial sport for novice athletes and your daughter is not too old to begin.
Good Luck and remember to keep the focus on her health, not on her weight.

i would see a Dietition and consult with her about what is best for your child.

What works for one person to loose weight doesnt always work for the other.

Ex: my exhusband had his colesterol checked and he at 23 was borderline (close to death) they told him to stay away from starches (bread, corn, potatoes, pasta, etc.)

This is the main food of my diet...but if i dont eat it i get very tired. This worried me that she told him not to eat it so i had my bood tested. Turned out my Cholestrol was PERFECT! i inquired why if i was eating all the foods she told him not to.

My body is different and i require all those starches to keep going. i have a high motabolism and burn off the sugar quickly where his is slow and cant.

The dietition will be able to let her know what is best for her. Also i would try getting a workout video like Tae bo or Pilates something that you two can do at home together. A bonding mother and daughter moment.

Good luck to you two.

I look back on childhood pictures and my weight flucuated - and I was extremely active - played all sorts of sports and lived in the pool in the summer. There were many times when I was thin and many times when I was chubby. However, everyone made such a big deal out of my being chubby that that is all I remember.
I hope you will be careful not to talk about it much with her. Eat well as a family and be active together as a family. I know you don't want her to end up obsessed about it as I did.
Growing up we ate white bread, macaroni and cheese, and lots of milk - no wonder I was overweight. I needed healthier choices - but my mom didn't know any better.
My family is now very healthy. We eat extremely well and love to exercise together. No one is obsessed with food or exercise - to either extreme. Just be a healthy family and this time will pass. She will learn from what you teach her.
I also remember having a hard time finding clothes. If you don't make a big deal out if it - then it won't be as big a deal to her. Remind her that people come in all sizes.
She is still growing and will outgrow this if she doesn't become obsessed about eating, dieting and execising.
I know this is hard.....hang in there.

I'm sorry she is having to go through this. I know a few people who admit to being over weight as kids and young adults and they are slim now (they do have to work at it). I know that eating breakfast as early as possible is a great way get things started, and having more snacks or small meals helps too. some times stress of losing weight causes some to gain. Try not to "exercise" and go have fun. Dancing, roller skating, and swimming are great to boost self esteem and are underestimated. If these things don't seem to help, love is the only thing that remains. I hope you guys have great times together.

the best thing you can do is speak with your doctor. see if they can refer you to a child nutritionist. also look in your are for gyms that allow children your daughters age. rec. centers near schools have weight rooms that the do allow access to the public at certain times and you might even check with the colleges.. oak point in plano near CCCC college might be a good start. They have an indoor pool that is a great activity for children to loose weight by doing water arobics.

most important love your daughter for who she is and always let her know she is a beautiful person no matter how she looks. sometimes what you see and how you react to it makes a big impact on how a child feels inside and they dont always let you know how they feel.

i grew up being told one thing and feeling another and it took a long time for me to overcome those feelings i had as a child.

being concerned about your daughters health is justified, but if you take her to the doctor and they tell you she is health let her be a kid a little longer. continue what you are doing for her but dont push her too hard to be like everyone else.. and talk to your daughter and let her talk to you about a plan on what actions she would like to take next.

i hope i am not being to blunt. i just know what it is like to be judged for something as a child that is out of your control and even though you are tring everything you can to change it and the feelings that follow the pressure of dealing with it later in life.

good luck,,bless you both

Have you seen a doctor to make sure she doesn't have a thyroid problem?

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