Second Marriage Shower or Party

Have a lovely afternoon tea or reception. Simply say, "to honor the bride", or however you want to put it. Don't mention gifts of any kind. Some will bring them and some won't...my guess would be most would. Don't make a big fuss over opening them. You might do this AFTER the wedding to make it clear where everything stands. She could then share pictures showing what a small, intimate wedding it was.

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I would suggest a post marriage party. It doesn't have to be a gift party, just something that says you support the marriage and wish them the best. You can also give just a fun party before the marriage. Bridal parties do not stipulate gifts. Do a fun outdoor party, cooking hamburgers or steaks. Make it relaxing and fun.

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try a blessing shower, everyone can bring a thought or blessing for the couple, you can personalize it in a computer, with their names. it's always a good reception when I do it for my family and friends, and it doesn't cost much except a nice frame.

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Because of it being a destination wedding and you are not supposed to invite people to a shower when they are not invited to the wedding I would give a great fun party for her and a bunch of friends either all girls or couples AFTER they return from the wedding. I would have her register for some things she would like or need and give people that option of purchasing the gift. I think life is short and you should never pass up an opportunity to celebrate love and friendship. She will be grateful.

Just have a big bacholette party (without the stripper if that's not cool with your group) for just her girlfriends and the girls from his side of the family to all get to know one another and have some fun....Call it a reception or a bachelorette party or a last hurrah. I got married in a small ceremony for close friends but had a huge reception/party for all my friends and that was the highlight of the day!

i suggest a fun evening out with her closest friends. it is about celebration, not gifts. you can support her in a small group. that's more meaningful, anyway.

when i got married, we had a bachelor/ette party together. we just invited all of our friends (we were getting married in the US, but we were living abroad) and they video taped messages for us to be played at our reception. it felt like their love and support was with us and we had a celebration with our close friends who were not going to travel to another country to be at the wedding.

we did make it a no-gifts party. i think it is tacky to make people feel like they should give a gift if they are not invited to the wedding.

you're a good friend. have fun!

Sounds like this would be an opportunity to celebrate your friend's happiness in which case it is more about the comraderie than the gifts. So, perhaps a very laid back place that has a private dining/banquet room where you could all meet would be nice. If she's got everything that is household in nature you could have a "Wishing Well" (Wishing You Well) and let people just put in cards with any monetary amount whatsoever or gift cards. If they wanted to give a gift, they could do that also, but making it "O.K." to give cash or GC's would make it simple for guests. If it's ladies only you could turn it into a lingerie shower. Or since you said it's a "destination wedding" you could center it around "Destination: Happiness" and let people give the card/money and maybe even their best advice for how to have a happy marriage. We did this for a couple recently and they got all types of fun/warm advice from people which they can read and enjoy from time to time.

Hi A..

A 2nd marriage for either bride or groom negates the privelege of a shower. If you are just aching to throw a party, go ahead. It would be very inappropriate to label it as a "Shower". You might call it a "celebration of a new beginning" but make sure you make it clear on the invitation that gifts are not expected. If someone wants to buy a gift for the new couple it's fine, but they should not feel obligated because of the wording on the invitation. If it's just a GNO then it should be treated as such.

Do a girl party and a co-ed party! Maybe the co-ed one can be the reception upon their return home.

Hi A.,

A friend threw a "Stock The Bar Shower" for us. It is a great couples shower. A ton of fun, and it is way more than alcohol for gifts. Or you could just have a reception after the wedding, and people could bring a gift if they want.

Good Luck!!

I have a friend who had a destination wedding and people understand that these are usually just family and very close friends and you can't invite everyone unless they want to pay for airfare, hotel etc. which I am sure they don't. We gave them as a couple a shower after their wedding. We had her register for gifts that she really needed and we had a great time. There is nothing wrong with her getting gifts. She may not have everything and like you said she didn't have one the first time. If you don't think it is appropriate to have people bring gifts then just have a couples get together to celebrate their wedding but I see nothing wrong with gifts and even if it is just a celebration of their wedding, trust me, some or most will still bring a gift and you don't want those that did not to feel uncomfortable. Have they bought a new house? If so you could have a garden party and everyone bring something for their yard or garden, even like a water hose, a rake etc. No matter if it is a second marriage everyone needs something that they may have never had and/or maybe they would like to get rid of the old and start new. Celebrate their wedding and everyone have a good time. Stop worrying about how unfair it is that she was married before. The whole point is to celebrate their union and bringing them a gift just shows you care about them and wish them well.
Good Luck.

A.,
I was in a similar position several years ago. My friends ended up throwing me a lingerie shower. They had more fun than I did. I also received pretty soaps, lotions, etc so there are other options than lingerie. I mainly received robes...pjs. The other thought is a recipe shower. Her friends could bring something special they like to make with some of the ingredients....or even a wine shower.
Just a few thoughts...good luck.

Just have a wine and cheese party ( or a tea if they are non drinkers) and invite her girlfriends. No presents needed. I had two parties before my first and only wedding- but no showers. I figured people were going to get sick of buying presents and there is just so much stuff you need. A Sunday brunch is another really nice idea.

I have two suggestions. I had a divorce then a second marriage and this is what my sister did for me the second time around.

Girls only party, Pure Romance (i sell it now the party was so much fun) we drank, ate and just plain had fun. People bought me stuff from the party and some brought other gifts.

Grownup party, we had a big get together/BBQ and people brought gifts.

Although with a destination wedding I think it would be good to do that party as eithher a sendoff for the bride and groom or a congratulations on their return home.

How about doing a party where instead of definate gifts to the bride, she is just the center of attention and maybe has a list of "help me earn" stuffs . . .

a few suggestions would be:
Lingere party
Pampered Chef Party
Jewerly party

As for the not invited to the wedding party, just word that into the party invite . . . since she won't be able to share her wedding day with you, she would like to share a night before . . .

Host a Bachlorette or a Lingerie Party.

A. I suggest a party this way anyone who will not attend the wedding would at least have the pleasure of a party with the one that they love. L.

Maybe a langerie (sp?) panties, nighties, etc. or things she will need at her destination wedding would be nice. New beach wear and accessories, if it is that kind of destination.

Throw a welcome home party for them when they get back from their wedding/honeymoon. Then you don't have to worry about whose invited to the wedding, and those who truly are wishing them well can do so however they chose without being obligated to get them a gift.

It's nice that you want to do something for them. :)

This is totally do able. Let guest of the party know that this is a celibration of there marriage. Since they cannot have all guests at the actual wedding thank guests for attending the party/shower. Either way you go about it people will end up getting gifts. Have fun.