Second Child Using Underwear That 1St Child Wore

Updated on May 05, 2009
D.S. asks from Horicon, WI
53 answers

I recently potty trained my second son (age 3) during the day. He occasionally will have a few drops of pee in his underwear so we have several pairs (more than a week's worth). My question is have any of you used/planning to use underwear for your 2nd child that the first (same sex) wore if they were not stained or worn out? My husband thinks that this is so wrong and gross. I feel that if the pairs are okay and only his brother wore them, that he can wear them too for a little while in case of accidents. I do not plan on doing this when he is older and was going to get him some more soon. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Wow, I can't believe the responses. Thank you all so much for your replies. Most of you feel the same as I do that as long as it is in the family it does not matter. I probably will put the older pairs on my rummage sale later this year. I will use the older ones for those "in case" moments for the time being. Thanks again.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

When we are talking about children this young, I see nothing wrong with it. Fifty years ago, no one would even be asking the question--it was just a given that stuff got passed around families. I use cloth diapers for my son, and I bought some of the diapers and almost all of his covers used. I see (clean and well-taken care of) training underwear for sale all the time on Craigslist and eBay--I'm not the only freak doing this. ;-)

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P.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Why spend money when you don't have too? I don't see anything wrong with it. In fact, my youngest will receive all the hand me downs until she tells me it's not okay. The underwear has been washed and the three year old doesn't know. For all he knows it's from him. It is sorta gross but they have been washed so big deal. Bleech them and see if the stains come out.

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

What's the big deal??? The underwear is CLEAN and since they are the same sex then why waste the money on all new underwear? I did it with my boys and I don't see anything wrong with it.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Dear D.,

The very question made me laugh out loud. I guess I'm just too old school.

My parents were very affected by "The Great Depression" and they were very frugal. A hot water wash and some bleach washes away all the nasties! I guess a lot of that rubbed off on me.

I look for the cheapest, but safest, alternative and we live debt free for the most part. Just owe on the house. :)

God bless you! and thanks for the laugh.

A.

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A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Does your husband wear a new pair of underwear everyday or is he confident that the laundering process gets them clean and sanitized? ;)

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J.O.

answers from Wausau on

Most of my son's underwear came from several friends whose kids were already trained. We got a few new character packs to help the process along, and I will admit a few of his pairs of undies came from the thrift store (I always wash & bleach them first of course) He doesn't care & from a health standpoint there's nothing wrong with them.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I know you don't need any more advice, but I couldn't help but respond. What are people afraid of with the used underwear? I'm glad to see that the vast majority see nothing wrong with reusing it, but many still stipulate that it's okay because it's within the family. So what if it were even a stranger's underwear? What do people think is going to be in it that is not killed off by the laundering process?

We live in such a disposable society. If no one reuses other kids' perfectly good underwear they're all just going to end up in a landfill. It's different with adults, who don't change sizes so often and can wear our underwear until it wears out. It was common in the past for people to use diaper services where kids are reusing diapers that other kids have worn - that's much more disgusting than underwear!

Although I could afford to, I have scarely ever bought either of my kids a stitch of new clothing - and yes that includes underwear. There are such great bargains at the consignment sales and stores. Then I turn around and resell it once they've outgrown it. It's environmentally more friendly and with the money I save we are that much closer to buying our dream home.

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D.L.

answers from Rapid City on

Good heavens it is just fine D.!

Back when my children were little (my oldest is 34) ... I used cloth diapers ... those same cloth diapers were used for my 2nd child 1 1/2 yrs later. Soooo - get this! My youngest child (the 3rd born) is 24 yrs old and now has her 1st child. I STILL have 1 cloth diaper that I use for dusting in the house. It has been washed probably more than 400 times and doesn't even look that old. It was also used as a spit up rag when her little guy was first born. I thought it was cool that he used the same diaper that his mommy used 24 yrs ago. She thought it was really cool too.

I see no reason why there should be a problem. They have been washed and cleaned over and over again. Unless your husband makes tons of money and you don't have to worry about finances, I see no reason why you shouldn't re-use those training pants/underwear.

Good luck and thank you for letting me walk down memory lane with my own diaper story.
Blessings Always,
D.

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R.N.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hand me down underwear is just fine as long as it is decently clean with no holes. If you buy a good brand of underwear you can pass them down several kids before they wear out.

Think of the money and time saved by not having to buy new underwear- and then you can explain to your hubby that he doesn't have to wear hand me down undies- but his boys/girls won't mind.

R.- Mom to 5 (and a huge pile of hand me down undies)

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K.P.

answers from Chicago on

I just read this today and all of the reply's. I feel the same way...I had to tell you what came to my mind as I was reading these. ...When you go to a retaurant the napkins are washed and reused. When you go to a hotel the towels and bedding is washed and reused. How does your husband feel about those things? Maybe you shouldn't mention it...you don't want to get stuck not going out to eat or overnight at a hotel.

Thanks for letting me share!

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K.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

What's gross about them...they are washed like everything else we use on our bodies..towels for example. We have bought undies at a garage sale (barely used) washed them like 3 times and now they are ours. But I will totally have my boys pass down their undies. No biggie! They are just little kids! Save the cash!

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S.A.

answers from Duluth on

Good morning, my story follows. When my son was potty trained we did go through a ton of undies. So when my husband and I were at a garage sale (yes a total stranger!) these people had 10 undies for a dollar. My husband purchased them, brought them home, bleached them, washed them again, dried them and had my son wear them. However, the next weekend at a different rummage sale I found undies in my husbands size that were brand new in the bag so I bought them. He refused to wear them. So I really don't have a problem with "reusing" clean non stained underwear. But my husband does.

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes, it is fine! Heck, my 2 girls close in age wear the same underwear (same size) sometimes. I am sure one has taken off dirty and the other put it on, thinking it was clean! LOL! Not a big deal.
S.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

As a mom to 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls, I have always passed everything that is usable down to the next kid in line when it is still in usable condition and is gender appropriate. There is nothing gross about it. Would you throw away a pair of pants that your child had an accident in so it didn't get passed down to the next kid in line? No, it gets washed, dried, and put back in the drawer for another wearing. Just my two cents :)

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E.M.

answers from Omaha on

OF course I have done this! It seems unnecessary to buy another pair of identically sized underwear for the younger kids. ONce underwear are washed they are clean, it does not matter WHO wore them before. As a matter of fact, several pairs of kids underwear in my household were 'handed down' from their cousins.

Like your husband i was initially skeptical of this practice. But kids go go through underwear very fast (and (especially as you are potty training-- this seems to happen daily). I don't think there is anything wrong with using that underwear. After all after each wash they come out clean and sanitized , so it is not a problem. Maybe as they get older this practice will be less appealing to them. But in the meantime, there is nothing dirty about using that underwear. Again, they are clean (and not stained) so it doesn't present a health hazard. Besides, you will probably be put in the position to buy new (character ) underwear as your 2nd child begins to develop specific personal tastes, so consider this a way to supplement their underwear options in the interim.

Consider it not just an economic decision (though kids underwear seems as expensive as adult underwear and they don't wear them nearly as long!) but think of it as a way to conserve some of your own resources. After all, what will come of your oldest's unused underwear? Will they merely be stored in a box somewhere rather than being put to good use? That seems wasteful. Also, talk to your 2nd child about using his older brother's underwear. My guess is that he will really feel special that he is now able to wear something that his big brother wore! It signals to him that he has reached another milestone. (Kids love that and they will strive to stay dry just because they are wearing special underwear!) Mention that to your husband too. He might think differently of the underwear swap if he sees that it may help keep your second child potty trained. Finally, remind him that they are after all brothers, they share all kinds of things (colds, runny noses, you name it!). So there shouldn't really be an 'ick' factor here. Your husband is probably thinking about how it might feel to wear someone else's underwear today as an adult. that is quite a bit different. First, your sons are not strangers and second they have not hit puberty-- or adulthood-- and the connotations that come with it.

Good luck!

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V.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Absolutely reuse them. I bought training pants underwear and those first small sizes from garage sales. Anything that was in good shape and not stained. There is nothing wrong with it. Saving a few bucks too!

V.

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K.G.

answers from Waterloo on

Thank goodness there are other thrfty moms! My daughter received panties from her cousin. Thank goodness! However, as a desperate mother wanting her child trained, I would buy other characters, colors to train her. When the amount spent for panties topped entertainment budget, I refused to buy any more until she was trained. I started buying 2T and she was not trained until 3T, almost 4T.

Send Dear ol Dad to buy a package of underwear, he may come around.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

People reuse cloth diapers. What's the difference? I would wash them on the sanitary cycle if your washer has one. Or wash them at the laundry mat. Comercial washers use hotter water and the driers use hotter air so things come out cleaner.

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J.C.

answers from Madison on

I absolutely would use hand me down underwear. Heck, I plan on using hand me down cloth diapers! LOL

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M.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Absolutely, I have three daughters and always kept those little pairs of underwear with princesses, etc. on them. All three of my daughters wore them. Of course, once they were potty trained, they each got to pick out a pack with their favorite character, but it seemed silly to buy all new when we had perfectly good ones at home.

I also kept swimsuits and re-used them.

It worked very well, especially during those early years.

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M.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi D., I didn't read all the responses but I just had to laugh. My oldest is 3 1/2 and my middle child is 2. They share underwear because frankly, I can't figure out whose is whose these days! We bleach all the undies each week in hot water anyway but even if we didn't, I don't think it's a big deal at this age. Now, when they are 14 and 16, that will be a diff. story. I think you are fine. I think it would be worse if they shared toothbrushes!

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

The only hand-me-down that I am not quick to employ is a used pair of shoes. Some little feet will grow funny if forced to conform to the contour of other little feet. Anything else is FINE.

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R.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I used undies from my first daughter for my second. When they are little it's not like the underware gets really "icky" from wearing them. I of course went through them and got rid of the ones that maybe did have a stain or a hole in them-but you're right when they are potty training, sometimes you go through several a day-why not use the recycled ones for that time and then buy him new ones as a reward!

Good Luck!

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I can understand his reservations...but on the other hand, my daycare--who was immaculate, healthy, wonderful--would keep their own children's underwear--from like 15 years previous--for the kids' accidents at daycare, and that never grossed me out. And, like I said, the daycare was wonderful--and the kids were very, very healthy.

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L.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes! Go ahead and use them! It saves so much...money, time, and you know you have something "just in case" ...so there's peace of mind. We used hand-me-downs from my sister for my son, and we gave my daughter's to her for her daughter. If you're washing them, there's no problem!

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T.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

My son actually wore hand me down underwear from his cousins. I don't think there is any problem with this. Once he was fully potty trained then he got his own brand new underwear and since the MIL has bought more so he uses no more hand me downs. It is up to you but I don't thnk there is any problem wiht it :) Save some money!

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E.O.

answers from Appleton on

I don't see anything wrong with using underwear for a second child. Especially when they are that small. When they get a bit older it might not work but now, why not! Plus you can save a little money on those expensive little pairs of underwear that they wear for maybe 6mo to a year......

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L.N.

answers from Grand Forks on

I honestly don't think it is a problem when they are so little, as long as they'er clean and dont' have holes. I think it would be gross when they are like 10 and know that they are waring handme down underware,it's not like your frist son wore them all that long and for potty training you need a least enough to last two weeks for one week. If I still had the underware my frist son used when he was potty traing I would use them when my second son starts but there is a 6 year age diffso I gave my frist son's underware to my friend who wanted to use them with her son, who was a year younger than mine, she is the type that since it was a close friend she said she would use them but if it was a stranger's she wouldnt.

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L.P.

answers from Des Moines on

I used my 1st son's underwear for my 2nd son. There's no point in going and buying new underwear just for them to get ruined. If you have some that aren't stained and are prefectly reusable, then do it. Then when you your 2nd son gets the hang of it and isn't having accidents any more, then you can go out and buy him his own.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Ha-Ha...Tee-Hee. I am so glad someone else has pondered this. We have two boys. The first tackled potty training at 3 and as he was a wee bit older, he never had any accidents. He's undies survived in very good shpe. Fast forward to boy #2. Wanted to train at 21 months and so we knew we'd face some accidents and wondered if it was gross or wierd to combine his own new undies with his brother's old ones so that we had a bigger stockpile. I have no idea why this felt funny -- He wears all his brother's other hand-me-downs. Anyway, we just shrugged our shoulders and figured "Why not? Who's gonna know but us?"

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D.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is nothing wrong with hand me down underwear. We hand down clothes and kids wet through those, have exploding diapers that leak through and get sick in them. As long as they are washed, they are fine. If your husband has issues, wash them in hot water, use bleach, and dry on high heat. But it seems more of a mental hurdle for him that a logical one.
Good luck.
D.

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C.C.

answers from Beaumont on

It's not wrong, it's not gross--by the time my boys were five or so I was buying them the dark plaid woven fabric boxer shorts--come in a 3-pak, yes you can bleach them--stains/hand-me-downs---not an issue!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

They are washed and clean so there is no reason to not hand them down as long as they are still in good shape. Think of it as having twins or triplets or Heaven forbid, Octuplets... would you go buy enough undies that gives each of the kids their own in the same size or would you buy enough of them and keep them all in the same drawer for the kids and just take out some for each? Once the kids are older they won't outgrow the undie sizes as fast and will wear them out instead of handing them down.

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N.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

I use mu 1st boy's undies for my 2nd boy right now. But ONLY if they are like new. I feel little kids are not gross yet (underwear wise) but then when they are older it seems nasty to want to do that. You know, like baby snot is not so bad, but as your kid gets older it starts to become more like your own and other's, not so cute anymore. I definitely will not accept hand-me-down undies for my kids!

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.:

Thanks for asking this question. I have one child, a 4-year old boy. I have used hand-me downs as he grows so fast. However, I have been wary about used underwear. You know, the responses from other mothers have set me straight. Thanks to them all, too.

N..

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

My first two kids are girls and my second girl is wearing hand-me-down undies. They are still in great shape and I see no problem in this at all.

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T.V.

answers from Lincoln on

We did that for our older 2 boys. I don't see anything wrong with it. You know where it's been, it's not like you bought it used from someone else. Kids grow to fast to just throw out good clothes, even if it is underwear.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Funny thing is at my moms house she has a stack of a few pairs that she has accumulated from sleep overs and accidents from her 2 granddaughters. They are clen. At first I thought it was a little strange when my daughter came home in her cousins undies after a last minute sleepover but at least she had a bath and fresh undies. They had been washed and they are not stained so I am over it.

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L.V.

answers from Sioux Falls on

ABSOLUTELY! My almost 4 year old daughter is still wearing hand me down undies from her 6 year old sister and she doesn't know the difference nor would she care. She loves getting clothes that were her big sister's that she adores. Besides it's ridiculous to buy something new and spend money when you already have it.

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J.S.

answers from Davenport on

D.. I have 4 children 3 of which are girls. I always buy them a new pkg. of undies when they potty train ,but i will tell you what the way kids some times have accidents all of my girls (ages 7,4,2) have worn the same panties. The two younger ones love that they get to wear big sisies old panties. Like you I make sure they are in good shape . It makes feel ok about it when they poop in them and I don't have to feel guilty about throwing the nasty ones away. Ask your husband if he wants to keep spending$7 -$8 on a new pkg. everytime you throw one away. I bet he would change his mind then. Plus it is not like you are not washing them. This qusetion made me smirk because I grew up with 2 older sisters and my mom always bought us the same undies and we never new whos were whos. Have a Great Day.

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N.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

the way kids grow out of things...Yes, I will be using my first childs underwear for my second child...

there are things like bleach and oxy clean that can remove stains and 'big brother' germs from the undies...

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have two boys three years apart and I handed down underwear to the younger boy. To be honest, until I read this post it never even occurred to me that it might be gross. Most of the underwear I have handed down was "gently used" character underwear from the preschool/kindergarten years. I wash it in hot water. Now that my boys are older the older one wears out his underwear before he grows out of it so it isn't even a possibility to hand it down.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

i have passed down underware to my 2nd girl and saw nothing gross about it. when they are ripped they get thrown away. the 2nd girl gets a few new pairs once in a while, but other than that could care less if they were her sisters first. pass down as much as you can now when they dont care, because when they get older they will complain!!

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

D.,

I personally see nothing wrong with this. Just wash them and throw a litte bleech in.

Its not like your son is 10 and having to wear his brothers underwear...lol

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S.R.

answers from Davenport on

My sister has 3 boys all a year apart and when they were younger they went through the hand me downs. There is nothing wrong with it!! Tell your hubby your gaining the most points in this situation!! You win!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

That is what bleach is for, to make sure something is "really" clean. My boys have used the same undies. In fact, they are the same size and they dress themselves so sometimes they get into each others drawers for cloths, including socks and undies! I just make sure to wash everything really well.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

If I had my daughter's closer in age I would only reuse or hand me down undies ONLY for potty training purposes. Like if my second child was about to potty train and make a mess of things anyways but's that's it.

I don't think siblings should share underwear after potty training is established. Underwear is fairly cheap and definately affordable so every child deserves fresh, clean, new underwear to call their own.

My daughter's are 7 years apart but if they were closer in age I'd save and reuse swimsuits, training bra's but not underwear.

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N.V.

answers from Omaha on

I have never experienced this, but I am on your side. They were just his brother's undies not a strangers. I don't see a problem with it!

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Absolutely! If they're clean, why not?

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well, I'm kind of an underwear snob... I have two boys ages 6.5 and 3, and they only wear Gymboree undies. My youngest is wearing undies my oldest wore at this age... I saved them. Gymboree underwear, like their clothing, doesn't wear out. Plus my boys trained early (we used EC, both were out of cloth diaper by 18mos) and Gymboree ,at the time, was the only place you could find size 18mo undies.

So I have no problem with it. Of course I won't reuse them when they get older, but in the toddler/preschooler age, heck yeah.... I pay for quality undies so they will get used!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

It would seem silly to be to go buy all new ones when you have perfectly good ones at home. It's not like they haven't been washed or that they were worn by a stranger.

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S.S.

answers from Davenport on

My boys are two years apart. As they got older my younger son caught up with my oldest son and they then wore the same size clothes. I think I tried different colored or style of underwear for each child but they ended up wearing whatever pair I or they grabbed for the day. They all ended up in the wash and they didn't mind. Even now I forget sometimes which pair belongs to them and they probably end up wearing a pair that the was worn by the other child. They are now 14 and 16 and really don't concern themselves about it. I've seen underwear at Goodwill and Salvation Army and that wouldn't work for me, but if it's in the family you know whose worn it last.

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E.R.

answers from Green Bay on

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as they have been washed which I know they have.

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