S.Z. asks from Palatine, IL on September 14, 2008
Second Baby Shower?
I had a baby shower when I was pregnant with my son. He's now 18 months, and will be 21 months when my daughter is born.
A friend of mine suggested I have a 2nd baby shower since this baby is a girl. I don't know how I feel about it. It's not like my son is 5 years old and it's been a long time since the last shower. But I'm wondering, would it be considered weird or rude to have another shower because this oneis a girl?
How would you feel?
1 mom found this helpful
T.B. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
E.H. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
One shower unless the kids are very much apart, and it's a second marriage.
Otherwise, it looks like you just want gifts...
J.L. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
Congrats on baby #2..I was in the same situation. 1st birth a daughter and then a son. I like the post that says that it should be more of a celebration of birth. I would not register for baby gifts.. It is rude and presumptuous. Other than needing baby girl clothes and bedding what would you need to register for? However, if someone is nice enough to want to host a little gathering for you great! Let them. My baby shower was a big one for my daughter but for my son it was a small gathering of 14 people total. Very personal and intimate and those who wanted to do something for me did and were glad to do it.
L.T. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
Congratulations on the second baby! But I have to admit, it would seem a little rude to have another shower, especially since the kids will be so close in age. You already will have many of the basics. Sure you will need different clothes, but trust me, people will coming bearing girly gifts for you regardless of you having a shower or not. And they will feel much better about it having made the choice to do so, rather than feeling obligated by attending a shower.
Now having said that, there is no reason a second baby shouldn't deserve a celebration! Just not one that is so focused on gifts. What I did for a friend of mine was throw her a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It was just a small group of girlfriends and we met at a salon for manis and pedis. The salon even provided a small room in the back where I served finger foods (on skewers so we didn't wreck our nails!) and drinks. Afterwards we all went to a movie. I put "no gifts" on the invitation and gave her a pair of flip-flops that read "It's All About Me!". Just because it's a second baby doesn't mean mama couldn't use a little pampering and some quality time with friends. I didn't want the occasion to go unacknowledged, but also thought another shower was inappropriate, as did she. I wouldn't say you have to do what I did, but maybe you could just suggest to your friend that you would rather just spend some quality time with your close friends or family before-hand, without the gifts. Even a simple night out to dinner would be nice. Trust me you'll get gifts anyway.
P.S. Everyone paid for their own treatments and movie... I just arranged it and brought the food, so the expense was not so bad.
G.S. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
No you shouldnt have another shower unless its a small family thing its too much to ask people to buy for you again. thats just my opinion as a guest having to spend more money. most people will buy you a gift when the baby is born.
R.S. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
you can have a shower after the baby is born "welcoming shower" I know a friend who did that.
I.C. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
No second shower. It's not appropriate. I had a girl first and less than 2 years later I had a boy. I didn't have a second shower. People will come and visit and bring gifts.
S.H. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
I don't think there is anything wrong with someone throwing you a second shower. With so many people finding out what they are having before the baby is born I find that first baby showers I've been to have been very gender specific. If friends or family would like to throw you a second shower--why not? I think it might be odd to plan one for yourself or to have as large of a shower as the first one. I didn't have a baby shower for the second, but my friends planned a girls night and surprised me with gifts (I don't think its all that different!)
G.H. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
Another shower is not appropriate. Maybe your family and others will give you baby clothes at her birth. They shouldn't come "empty handed" at the time they 1st see the new little wonder.
J.N. answers from Chicago on September 15, 2008
I would say no to the shower. My oldest was 20 months when I had my twins and we did not have a "shower". I felt it was a bit much since I just had my shower for my first DD less then two years prior.
My close girlfriends had a party for me just before the birth but it was about me (they had someone come to the house for mani/pedis and got a gift card for a cleaning service).
If you would like to do something fun do a "Big Brother Party" for your son....maybe people could bring him books or things to get him ready for his new job as a big brother. This way the birth of your new DD is celebrated along with making the day special for your little guy.
I went to a "Big Sister" party and thought the idea was very cute and a special way to make her feel a part of the whole new baby thing....
Good Luck & Congrats on your new DD