Schools Bullying Parents Regarding Attendence

I haven't read the other requests, but I have to say my 13 yr old "had" to be moved to a private school in the 2nd grade. He had missed 4 days in one week with a double excused absence. He had strep & had been a t the dr's & my gfather had passed away so I also had a paper from the funeral home. The school (Winfield - Lin. Co R4) still turned me into the (I think it was ) the prosecuting attys office & I received a letter that if my son missed another day I woudl be taken to court. 2 other days he missed the school nurse had sent him home. This whole thing is ridiculous & I really don't know how to fight it. I asked the private school by my house if they followed the same rules & they didn't, so that's how we got started there. (Homeschooling was going to be my other option)
It's never too late to start homeschooling your child & I am all for it! I home schooled my hs years & don't regret it. Missouri even has a homeschooling program on their website!
There's also nothing wrong with getting a GED & some area colleges will even let the students start college earlier if they test okay! Talk about a head start in life. The school's forget we do have options, they may not be easy but they are there! Good luck & don't let the school bully you - in the end it's just because they want the state's money for your child attending that day! It's not because they care.

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As a former educator in the Francis Howell School District, I can tell you that in my building these letters were generated automatically, regardless of the reason for the absence, by a computer program per District policy (the policy should be explained in your student/parent handbook). Once a child showed 10 absences, a letter was printed and sent. Let me assure you that your administrators, counselors, and nurse are aware of which students have legitimate extended absences and which are appropriate for a DFS referral. If you are concerned, call any of these individuals and they will be happy to explain the policy for you.

Please think very carefully before looking into other alternative schooling options for your high schooler. Is this in your child's best interest, or an attempt to "get back" at the school district? Where will your child's needs best be met, especially in light of the fact that it's "bad enough to be one of two working parents, dealing with a sick kid at home or having to leave work to pick her up." AS you said, this is your child's future you're talking about. Regardless of your decision, best of luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.,
My daughter is only 4 and in pre-school, while I am attending college, so I do not have any experience with the school districts here in the Kansas City area, but I do know from a report I did for English and Composition 102 that attendance is part of the No Child Left Behind Law. I chose to do the report on this subject because I feel like my Nephew is being failed by this law and the school district. He lives mostly with my Mom now so he is getting much better, but he has always had attendance issues when he stays with his Mom. She lived with her parents and they only speak Laotian in their home. My brother, who lives with my Mom and our side of the family only speak English. Ok long story short he is 8 and my 4 year old reads better than he does because it isn't important to him because it isn't important to his other family, my brother works with him everyday, and has asked the school to hold him back since he is 3 years behind on everything and they refuse. So when his Mom comes and gets him now which is seldom, he is always either late or absent from school, they have sent home nasty letters about truancy. I found out though there is a long list of things schools have to fulfill before they can be a No Child Left Behind funded school, the have to have 90% attendance. This may explain the why, but it doesn't make it right. Hope I helped and sorry for the ranting about my nephew's situation, it is just frustrating. Good Luck.
M.

1 mom found this helpful

I am currently homeschooling a highschooler & it can be very rewarding for everyone. If you are both in agreement that this is what you want to do, then I would definitely go for it! At the highschool level, schooling with a working parent is no problem. (hslda.org is a good place to check out the homeschooling laws.) I know there is a pretty active homeschooling community in St. Louis that organizes proms, graduation ceremonies, etc.

There are a lot of other things you can consider. One option would be a school-at-home type school. This would be a lot more expensive than homeschooling on your own, but they would take the responsibility of record keeping, issuing a transcript, etc. When my daughter turns 16, she plans to take classes at the community college that will also fulfill her high school credit requirements.

Whatever you decide, I would make sure your daughter really agrees with the decision & don't let the public school community influence you. They may be experts at teaching 1000's of children, but you're the expert at knowing what's best for your child. I've always felt that conforming to a particular school's program that I know isn't right is a lot like what we warn our kids about - giving in to peer pressure.

Good luck,
J.

I know they call and find out details after so many absences but usually that is more for parents to be aware that their child has been absent that many times especially with high school students. Usually if you have doctors excuses for all the absences they won't bother you. If your child is sick and sent home this often start documenting each event and then you can let them know the times your child was sent home from school. My nephew is a junior, has been in the hospital for the past 3 weeks and the school is working with him to get his work made up and have homebound until he is healthy enough to return to school. Most schools will work with you on special situations and if they are harrassing you, call the superintendent and ask questions. If they still have problems just send her to school sick and let them send your child home then they will realize that the child really is sick and if your child is sick that often then you probably need to find out what is wrong and why because it isn't normal for a child to be sick that often if normally healthy. Maybe she has a really weak immune system and needs to take vitamins or something to boost it up so she isn't sick all the time.

I'm not sure what your exact experience has been, but I do know that most school districts are bound by certain policies. They may be required, by law, to send a letter or make a phone call once your child has so many absences. I know it's stressful for you, but they are really not trying to be difficult. Their job is stressful too.
Try to work with them first, before you give up. I'm sure they know the situation. Ask what you can do to remedy the situation - like have her attend summer school to make up the time. There is probably some law that says kids have to attend a certain amount of days to graduate. It's nothing personal. The law is meant to keep kids in school and learning as much as possible. That's what the school wants.

I totally feel your frustration, I receieved the same letter from school, my daughter misses alot because I am following thier rules.
Do not send your child to school unless they are fever free for 24 hours.
If more parents who children are sick would quit sending thier children to school cause they need a babysitter to go to work...mine would probably stop getting sick.
I follow the rules and get slammed with a letter.
Long story short I called the Principal and the teacher, both of them understood totally.
I think they do have to send out the letter regardless.
DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER GED, talk to the school and let them know that you are not enabling her that you are just following thier rules.

I'm sorry to say that I have had the same problem except not that school district. Mine is the Mexico School District. My daughter misses a lot of school due to her uncontroled diabeties and she is about to have knee surgery next week so I can just hear the complaints already *sigh*

We also had the Pertussis in our schools last year. And my daughter missed 2 sets of 21 days. And with everything that's gone on this year so far she is at her wits ends about finishing school. We have an Alternative school in which they only go to school 3hours a days (core classes) and then they have to either have a job or do volunteer work for 20 hours a week. I'm hoping to get her in this at semister but if this doesn't work I'm going to check into online school and well she's 16 and if none of the above works she wants to drop out of school and take her GED.

You have a lot to think about. There has been Some great advice. I think starting with talking to the school administrators/principals/teachers, whoever you need to to get this straightened out. Bring documentaion of all the times your child has missed, like the doctors notes. I think that you may be surprised that they will help. If you talk with your daughter and husband/spouse and you decide home-schooling is the way to go then do it. Do what is best for your family and situation. There are lots of home-school groups in the St. Louis area that are helpful. And are looking at the best interest of the child. Just because your child is home-schooled doesn't mean she will miss out on things or credits. There are options out there. Good luck to you and good for you being concerned about your childs future.

I think the other posts covered all the points, but I wanted to reiterate a few...First, NO GED! High School diplomas are barely worth the paper their written on and a GED is worth less. Second, homeschooling can be very rewarding, but it is a lot of work too. If your daughter is already in high school, it is probably best to leave her there. I would hate for her to miss some of the requirements and not qualify for a diploma. Third, as many posters stated, the 10 day rule is state law. The letter you're receiving is probably standard. I would call the school and talk to her counselor. The school's concern will be if she's already missed 10 days of school and it's only November (1/3 of the year), will she miss 30 total?

Best of Luck!

K.
teacher, guidance counselor

Bless your heart. It is NEVER too late to begin homeschooling. Get in touch with a local organized group of folks who are homeschooling. If you do not know anyone right off hand you can search the internet for information regarding the needed curriculum online as well. Abbeca sp? , Bob Jones University, and there are tons more. Alot of the work may be done online at the student's pace and interest and abililty levels. I'm not in the HS range, but we recently were tempted to do this with our third grader when her "comprehension" levels were in question because of not doing well and was not being prepared in advance for testing that did not correspond with what was given on study guides that she had aced. They throw alot at these kids today that they are just supposed to infer based on knowledge that they have NOT given them or the ability to infer, which is a bit irritating, so if you don't stay home and stay on top of them, bless your heart, I'm not sure how I would do it either. It does make you want to move to a smaller dwelling, put the brakes on all spending and just go to one income so you CAN keep your kids save, physically, mentally , and spiritually. Personally, my kids were healthier until they started school anyways.
Best of Luck. Take heart though, I'm sure you are NOT the only one out there dealing with this. I would also take advantage of looking into the LAW on the internet for your state and local governments.

I also think this policy is a result of the many flaws of the No Child Left Behind law. I hope that all of you parents will investigate what this policy really means to our schools, do they not understand that it is impossible to show progress every year? At some point there has to be a big drop to start over or a plateau, neither of these are built into the law.
Back to your problem, I'm sure this is a computer generated letter, I have a friend who received one too, they were excused. She has also had to go to the school and get a special designation for her two older boys who have health issues and have to go to the doctor often (one had dialysis for awhile) The school is supposed to allow them extra time for work, although some teachers don't like this policy, sometimes it's up to you to make sure they (the teachers) comply with these policies.
I have found that being on the PTA board and active in all parents groups that the school has goes a long way toward getting things done easily with your child. The schools have to show parent involvement as a result of the NCLB and they are anxious to have parents who will attend meetings they set up.

Your issue is with the state of Missouri, not the district. Every public school district at least in St.Charles county, if not all of Missouri, has this policy. And yes, if you don't have a valid excuse, it can be considered educational neglect by the Department of Family Services.
If you have such a problem with the policy, perhaps homeschooling is a better option for your family.

I'm sorry they made you feel threatened. It's a scary thought. There are several things here, first, it's never too late to homeschool if you are willing to put the time to it - just remember you can't put your child in front of the computer and expect her to do all of the work by herself even if she is older. Second, I have received one of those letters and I'm a very involved parent of my sons' Elementary School (PTO Board, help with copies and paperwork etc.) and one of my sons was hospitalized twice and missed a lot of school. I believe they are required to send home that letter because when they send it to me, the Principal or the Assistant Principal wrote in pen on the letter that they know my situation and everything's okay. So why did they send me that letter if they were just going to say - it's okay. I believe it's required. It still scared me but I think it's just suppose to get your attention and make you act on it. I think they want you to call the school and ask if there is anything your child is behind on, ask if there is any extra credit to work on, or if your child is struggling because of the absence. Otherwise, if she misses any more school, I would take a 'proactive' approach and call each of your child's teachers and ask if there is any work to take home that she can work on. This way she isn't behind or missing anything. I understand that they are suppose to have so many hours of school but if they are keeping up with the classwork and the material, there is no need to hold a student back. Of course, this is all my 'opinion' and I could be totally wrong. I feel bad that your are as mad as you are about this and think that if you talked to sometone at the school about it, maybe it could clarify some of your issues. Good Luck!

Most schools have similar policies. Look at it this way, if you miss that much school you probably have not learned what is necessary. Having said that there should be a way to make up missed work. Especially if there has been different outbreaks in the school. I would sit down with your child's adviser and explain what is going on and ask them how to fix this. If you then hit a brick wall go higher and higher in the system until you get results.

Do not do the GED!!! I know little about home schooling.

I really don't have any advice for you but I did want to let you know that you are not alone. I know of another family that is currently receiving the same treatment from the school district that you are. I am in total agreement with you and I would never live in the Francis Howell School District because I do not like their policies and procedures and I do not like the way that they treat children with disabilties and the way that they treat their families. I know that this little blurb has offered no advice what so ever, but I did want to let you know that you are not the only one out there who is dealing with the Fracis Howell School District's rediculous policies. Good luck to you with your decision. I'm sure that it is not an easy one to make.

A neighbor of mine (Hazelwood School district) had that problem several years ago. Her daughter had documentation from her doctor for every illness. But it wasn't even 10, that was allowed! And, it wasn't 10 days, it was less than 10. But it was occurances. If she missed 5 days for mono, it counted as one. The district said that they were going to fail her, even though she was a straight A student and had caught up all her work. They did have an alternative though. They could go before a board and show documentation that she'd really been sick. They did that and all was well. That might be the case here too. If you show them the doctor's notes, and the student is doing well, I'm sure they wouldn't fail him/her. I'm with the other poster who thought it was a rule pointed to the enablers. Some just let their kids stay home.... because. I'm sure that if you talk to his/her counselor, there's a way. It's worth a try anyway!

Homeschooling you can do anytime of the year you want to. I will be more than happy to give you the website that I used when I homeschooled my son. www.AOP.com 1-800-622-3070
This is Alpha Omega Publications and we just loved the curriculum when we used it and so did my son. It was all workbooks and it's set day by day. If you have any questions feel free to email me ____@____.com is purely harrassment that the school is giving you.

I remember when I was in high school they had the same rule regarding attendance. And I think its pretty much a form letter that is sent out once a student hits so many missed days. One year I was sick with pnemonia and involved in a car accident that both instances caused me to miss a week of school. All it took was a phone call to the principal and everything was ok. As long as the school stays informed as to why the absences are happening I think you should be ok.

My sister missed alot of school when she was a senior (she skipped alot) and they threatened to hold her back another year and she had to go in front of some board and they created a plan that protected her credits and standing in school. I think those letters are a scare tactic for those miss for no reason at all.

S.,

I am going to reply even though you have a lot of info sent to you because I have seen several who said NO GED's! Well that is fine if there are other options, but I have 5 kids and without the GED that they turned into a High School Diploma they wouldn't be in College right now!! One of my girls was in a car wreck and had NO short term memory, it didn't matter how much she studied, she couldn't remember what she read. The teachers felt bad because they knew she wanted to pass, but her memory retention was not there!! She got her GED, took the test and has a high school diploma and is a Junior at WSU! My other daughter was attacked at the High School she attended, the other girl was suspended for a few days, however, my daughter felt she could not go back! This girl threatened her and nothing was ever done about it, I made her go at first, but when things kept getting worse I went to the school and their hands were tied because they hadn't seen anything else!! So finally I told her I would not make her go anymore, she was scared to death!! So she has her GED and is a student at a cosmetology school. So for those of you who think a GED is not going to work, think again!!!!

What a mess!!! I have had alot of issues with school things for years. My sons have all completed school or gotten their
GED. My two younger sons received their GED's at separate times. If this a route you choose to take, I just hope your
child will continue to further his/her education or have a plan in place. The young person can be 16 years of age.
The reason I mention about having a plan in place because my
sons did not further their education and now have had trouble obtaining work. But not due to the fact they did not get a high school diploma.
I am so sorry that you are having this difficulty. My best to
you and your child.
K.

Im sorry if this sounds bad but you are outraged by the school district threatening your childs future because of school rules but you letting your child drop out of school is an option?????? I think that would effect your childs future tremendously. I think you should rethink that and not let that be an option.

I received a threatening letter 2 years ago from the Ft.Zumwalt district about all the absences my daughter had. She was getting strep throat once a month and would be out a week at a time. It seemed every time I would send her back she would get sick in a few days to a week.

Anyway, I called the school and talked to the principal and it turns out that that is a standard letter that they have to send out after so many absences. I told her that it came off a little threatening and had me very concerned even though my daughter had basically all A's, was in first grade and I believed it was the school that she was getting sick so often and I told her that I was considering keeping her home if this is what they were going to do but she assred me that we were fine. So, I would call the school and see what the scoop is first.

Unfortunately this policy may have been put into place because many children have parents who enable their children to be absent. I'm not saying that you are an enabler, but there are parents who allow their children to skip school because it is either too much trouble to fight with them, they are late and don't have a ride, or just plain don't care, etc. Did the school district speak with you in person or did they just mail a letter. Have you tried talking to the administration? I had a daughter who had medical issues (mono) and I received one of those letters. I spoke with someone at the school and resolved the issue. They may be just trying to make sure of the situation at home, and that you are aware of your child's many absences. Don't put it beyond some children to write their own excuse notes. They deal with a lot of young adults and can't know the situation of every child in the building. It is a fact that under staffing and other issues make that impossible. The other thing I would suggest is that you make a file and keep all pertinent information about your child's illnesses, letters from the school. Talk to her teachers and find out how your child's grades are and their thoughts on the situation. Get as much documentation as you can in case you need to go to the school board to fight the situation. Approach her teachers in a concerned manner and ask them if there is anything that can be done. Teachers are your best resource to helping with the district.
Just a few ideas, been there, done that.

S.,
Let me begin by saying that I a teacher, not in the district you are talking about. I am saddened to hear that you feel bullied. I read a previous post about the district. I would hope that other readers will not generalize the behavior of a school district due to one case they are familiar with. It is important to consider all facts and determine if it is an administration/staff issue per building or district wide behavior, etc. Has this only happened at the building your child is currently attending? How are they threatening your child's future?
My daughter was out for 6 days one semester due to a strep infection and high fever. I received a threatening letter from her school [not Francis Howell] as well. It highlighted the attendance laws outlined in the parent/student handbook and how I am hindering my child's educational success by keeping her home. In short, I was very offended! I followed procedure as well. After that, I just make it practice to get a letter from the doctor if she is going to miss more than a day. It's frustrating, but another mom is right. There are enabling parents out there. Unfortunately, the district must not make arbitary decisions and send the letter to only those families they "think" are not acting within compliance of the attendance law. Therefore, the letter goes out to all parents whose child misses a certain amount of days within a certain amount of time.
I am sorry you feel harassed by the school district. As a parent you have due process rights regarding this behavior. School districts and parents must abide by the Compulsary Attendance Law if their child is attending a public school. You can go to the DESE website and look up the information regarding due process and the attendance law. As long as you are compliant with the statute [including documentation], there really isn't anything the school district can do. If your child is temporarily unable to go to school for an extended period, you could try for homebound instruction for up to 2 weeks if the child is not contagious. I think any more than 2 weeks has to be reviewed by the administration.
About your alternative, you can homeschool your child, but consider these...
1. Check to see if your child qualifies for a GED Options program with the district if they have one.
2. How does your child feel about homeschooling? GED? returning to H.S.?
3. How will you homeschool if you are working? Not that it doesn't happen, but I do not know of any homeschooler to have 2 working parents. One usually stays home. I am not familiar with H.S. homeschooling though, it may be different.
Best of luck in this case. I hope your daughter is feeling well soon.

Just so everyone is aware, the 10 day rule is not something set by districts, but by state law. There are certain districts that chose to enforce it, but others look the other way. I think the need to go before the school board with documentation is an excellent idea.

S., there are two sides to this issue. First of all if your child is not there, for whatever reason, they are not learning what is being taught. So missing a lot of days, excused or not, is a valid reason for holding a child back.

With that said, I have a GED and have been able to go on and further my education. I homeschooled three children through highschool, each of them did very well. One was given a full scholarship to a state college based on his ACT scores. So when you are looking at options, do not let anyone convince you that homeschooling may not in your childs best interest.

There are a lot of options. What is best is for your daughter to be able to graduate on time. If that means that you have to provide that option within your home, then by all means do so. On the other hand, there are other otions as well.

Home schooling is a commitment of time and effort on your part as well as your child. It is not an easy out, it is a choice that requires educating yourself first. you must find out all you can before you make that decision, if it is going to work.

On the other hand you can also enroll her in a correspondance school. This is a choice that many people make with their high school students. I am sorry that you are faced with this problem but do not be too hard on the school district. They are doing what they can to fulfill their obligations to the state as well. Sometimes those requirements can seem unreasonable or even make no sense at all. Unfortunatly that is just the way it is.

I have seen a similar situation with one of my son's friends. He was missing alot of school while he was being diagnosed. The mother had spoken often to the prinicpal and the nurse so she was very upset and shocked when she received a leter saying they could turn her into DFS. This is a totally different district, too. She called and spoke to the principal and she said that they are automatically generated letters for everyone whose child has missed a certain amount of days. She said they were not to decide who got the letter and who did not but that the recommendation to appear in front of the school boards, which happens first, was the schools recommendation and that wasn't going to happen because she had been no involved and kept the school posted. She was still pretty upset but it made sence. I would recommend the same, talk to the principal before you make any decisions. Then, document everything, keep everything. Make copies of everything from the doctors and give them to the school. If she sneezes, copy the tissue and take it to school. Ok, just kidding, don't do that.

Did you get a doctor's note? If so, then the absences should be excused without any problems or questions. That said, even though the absences are excused, your child still will have makeup work to do for the classes missed. This could be a lot of work, especially if your child is in high school. If the work isn't completed, then failure is entirely possible. Your child should be allowed extended time to complete the work, and as an elementary school teacher I don't mind this policy at all. I have even allowed students an entire quarter to complete work, but only in extreme circumstances. I actually have had a student fail a subject after 2 weeks of excused absences due to illness. The student made limited efforts to complete the modified work sent home, and the parents were not supportive as well. You might make sure that isn't the problem before going to extreme measures. Good luck!

Sorry, I don't have any advice, but this makes me sick!
As if these kids don't have enough to worry about already, and now they have to fear being kicked out of school due to absences from illness??? These schools can't have it both ways...they want the kids out of school if they're sick at all so it doesn't get passed around, yet "punish" the kids who DO stay home. It's turning into a "work" situation... where people are afraid to use sick time because God-forbid they get REALLY sick, they need the days stashed away. All it takes is one bad flu or stomach virus or even mono as was mentioned, and they could end up home for 2 weeks in one illness! I understand where the "rules" stem from...trying to keep kids in school and minimize "absences" or playing "hookey", but kids get sick! Whether in pre-school or high school!
Sorry, I'm venting. I was a sick kid in school and remember the notes always flying back and forth between doctors/parents/teachers/principals...my parents had to fight tooth and nail with the district (in NJ) to get them to accept the medical excuses, and I graduated with honors. If the kids can keep up with the work and excel on tests despite excused absences...the schools need to learn to make it work. Isn't that what they are there for? To educate kids? Teachers, you hold a vital and special role in the lives of our kids, and I thank you (and please ignore my crazy, incorrect punctuation and grammar and spelling here on Mamasource...it's just for emphasis! LOL!) Please don't take this as anything against you. It's just frustration at "generalized" policies of the schools/districts/states. Parents, if we don't speak up...no one will!
I just hope things get better before my little girl goes to school.

I don't know anything about this school district, but here are a few suggestions. First find ALL the school policies and read them ALL. Sometimes they are not written in the best way and in the best order. An exemption or clarification may have been tacked on later in the policies.

In the school's defense, attendance is a huge issue. If it is an Illinois public school, state funding depends on daily student attendance. Also, school's recognize that students need to be in school. Believe it or not, not all parents feel that way. That's where they learn better and hopefully get in less trouble.

But, I know of students who have been out for months due to cancer or other illnesses who do not "fail" Accommodations are made to get work caught up, etc.

So, I would start by reading the policies. If the policy that best suits your situation is unclear or vague, or doesn't adequately provide for a remedy, WRITE the school with your question for clarity and or remediation. Don't accept a vague answer, WRITE again. If you feel they are being uncooperative HIRE A LAWYER. There are lawyers out there who specialize in student advocacy, usually in terms of getting proper special education services, but they could help here too.

You may want to find out if other kids are in the same fix. If all the parents work with the school, maybe you can come to some kind of remediation.

Good luck