45 answers

School Withholding Lunch

Hi, haven't been on this site much for a few months i had a friend my age she died of breast cancer that spread and I have been very sad. None the less I am turning to all of you for advise and support. I have learned that the school that my two oldest children go to have used a punishment of not letting the children eat their food if they are talking. Now lets understand that sometimes just like when we were in school one person does something all of us get punished. My oldest son who weighs about or did weigh 49lbs has lost about ten days ago showed 1 and 1/2 lbs. I couldn't understand why. He had said when he came home with his lunch box still full that "we had no time to eat" then he became very up set and I couldn't understand why, I let it go and assumed he ran out of time. Then it happened a few more times he said "the teacher wouldn't let us eat", well of course I didn't think that was the case but his food was still in his lunch box. I've learned that I need to listen better and try to communicate more effectively with him. The school cafe has lights out for no talking now I know kids can get loud, however if you talk they either have you or your class stand and if you are standing you can't touch your food(their rule) so if you stand all through lunch at the end you get NONE. Ok, so I also understand a new principal has made it so that parents can't come without 24 hours notice to observe nor can they eat lunch with their kids or stop in at lunchtime to see their kids with notice or I understand a father did and they said "no notice no visit" he said "it's my kids" they said "here's the police". I understand that many of the teachers don't want parents to volunteer in their classes they say it disrupts the class. It sure didn't last year. So what and where do I start? Of course there are other parents up set the board knows but my son has lost weight and it's still going on and he's thinks this is normal not to eat if you are bad.He's an A student.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

O.K. I promised after the meeting to post what happened..it was a slap in the face from the director of the reginal office she said that the no lunches was just not true. She investigated all complaints (personally I don't know how she could be impartial investigating the people she has hired). It's noted she can't be. The audience (gasp) you could her it all over I was in shock. (how could this woman call children from all grades 80% a least of the school telling their parents and it be a lie?) Well, after over 2 1/2 hrs of a meeting that seemed like it would never end I left. I had heard enough about how we are the customer out of one side of her mouth and call our children liars out of the other side. I don't know if she has some political agenda in her future but to me she sounded just like a politician with only their own motive to move forward and step all over others and not care about the out come. If she admitted all the wrong she'd be liable and she hired them. After much sadness and listening to promises that again will not be full filled as before yr after yr and the worry that my children are left in their safety everyday and that they have no integrity, honor or character and of course my mother sense and all of you I am with drawing my children. I am looking forward to their new school where I am greeted with open arms, they want me to come anytime and see that I can trust them, they want me to come and volunteer, they welcome me stopping in at lunch whenever I want to see my children and even eat with them. I am sorry I have to leave other children at the Charter school in Kennesaw as they my remain victim to some not all mind you of leaders that are questionable. Not all of the apples are bad in the barrel so let me just say that the feelings aren't directed to all teachers at the school however actions speak louder then words and by withdrawing my children they understand I hope loudly that not only have they lost us and our respect but only after some changes would be made would we ever consider returning. I did warn them I would be doing this very soon I am waiting till thanksgiving because they are off 1 week and the transition for my children would be best this way. I love and thank all of you for your opinion, support and understanding as I've always had you to count on you all our very valuable to me in the sisterhood of motherhood. Thank you, thank you, thank you...and bless you, bless you, bless you......

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I can't even fathom... wow, I would take my kids out of that school even if I had to drive them to another one! It seems to me something they are doing should be somehow against the law.

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WOW! Prisoners get better treatment. I would talk to other parents and see the principal. With holding food can be extremely dangerous for kids who are diabetic or have other blood sugaer related problems.

I feel very strongly that food should never be used as a punishment or reward.

That is my two cents.

P.

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Start with the district office. If they don't provide any insight or solutions, keep going upward. Don't stop until you get satisification. No school can withhold a child's lunch. It hinders learning when a child is hungry. Why do you think they say to feed them a good breakfast before standardized testing.

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How much time do you have? The first thing I would do is take my child to the dr and get a dr note that due to weight issues, he MUST, due to his weight, have xx amount of time to eat his lunch.

If that didn't work - then you have a second issue to take to the superintendent (not the board).

Then I would start coming to school every day at lunch time and sign my child OUT, take him to a park nearby or even just to the car, and after he eats lunch, sign him back into schoo. Tell the school he has medical treatment at that time (he does, with a dr note madating lunch).

If that doesn'tsolve the issue, take THAT to the superintendent.

IF that doesn't help, the school board.

The last resort is to call the newspaper (with other parents) and do an article on why lunch is a vital part of the school day.

The last step is to remove your child from school and file a complaint with the state for denial of food. BTW, in most states, the DFCS (or DYFS, or the "welfare") refuse to allow punishment by denial of food!!

I ama the mother of six, a foster parent for 40 years, and a pediatric nurse. I have little patience for school systems which are punitive and cruel.

S.

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Hi M., my name is T., I have 3 daughters ages,11,9,1, I just moved to GA, about a month ago and I don't have a problem with the school system so far, but I think that's wrong for a child to go hungry for talking there are other ways to discipline. Besides starving the child, but it seems like they have something to hide, school suppose to have a open door policy come and check on your kid whenever u like, Did you try going to the school board or the superintendent, and finding out if they can do that? Because, that just don't seem right look further into it.

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I cannot believe this is an actual punishment. Who thought this cruelty up? I dont think I would let my kids go to this school. Is it public? Is there any way you can report this? There has to be some rule to what they can and cannot do, as far as forms of punishment. Taking away food seems like one of those things that should not be taken away. This is about the kids, they are young, growing, and they need their food. Not being able to visit without notice, I dont think so. In my opinion, you should find another school. To me this is a total outrage!!

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Whoa - which school is this? It sounds extremely iffy to me - sounds like they need expert help to deal with discipline issues without creating eating problems for the children. I don't know the full story so can't comment fully , but also any school that rejects parent involvement has serious problems in my view - education NEEDS parent involvement to succeed (I'm an educator myself).
My advice is get fully informed and listen to all sides, but ultimately make sure the children are protected from trauma.

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Is this a public or private school? I agree with most of the other responses. Something is majorly wrong. I would have a meeting with the principal. If you get no satisfaction or nothing changes get a group of parents organized to give other parents a place to go with reports. Then you can go to the school board with documentation of what is happening. If no results, get the media involved. It sure does seem like the school is trying to hide stuff if you have to give a 24 hour notice. You should be able to go in and monitor any class at any time as long as you have reported to the office so that they are aware that you are a legimate parent and are no safety threat to the children.

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I had to respond today because a school should never ever prohibit you from seeing your child. To me, this indicates that they are hiding something. Also, what kind of lesson are they teaching by using food as a form of discipline? This goes against everything that parents have been trying to change about society and its distorted views.

I understanding the lights out to quiet the kids if they get too noisy but they should still be able to sit and eat in silence. If someone continues to misbehave then that student should get lunch detention and they have to help clean up. This was the rule at the elementary school my nieces and nephew attended. An alternative is to have the unruly student sit separately or at a teachers' table. That should fix them.

With regards to your son, the fact that he is losing weight due to the school's current policy is wrong, wrong, wrong!!! I would contact the school board or if your son attends a private school, I would contact the entity that gives the school its accreditation and I would report the improper and completely unhealthy form of discipline the principal is using. I would also call the school and make an appointment with the principal or better yet, just drop in and ask to see the principal. Explain to her/him that your son's health, as well as the physical and mental health of other students is being negatively affected by the new lunch discipline policy. The main thing to keep in mind is that it's not just a simple matter of skipping lunch but how that affects children physically and mentally. They are tired and cannot concentrate and they start to associate not eating with bad behavior and as women, haven't we learned enough about keeping food and behavior separate? I wish you and your son well.

I've only been signed up for this site a few months but I
really enjoy reading the daily e-mails and the stuff Moms write. I'm a single Mom with an amazing 11 year old daughter.

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M.,
I'd report them to the school board and if that doesn't work try the state board of education. The principal can be reported to the Department of Human Resources for child neglect. No matter how "bad" the children may be the school cannot with hold food from any child.
Also, I don't think the principal can say a parent can't come to the school. Anyone who has a child enrolled at any school has the right to drop by anytime to check on their child, the teachers, the staff. I agree with getting a visitor pass before walking around the school and letting the main office know that you are there and maybe even having an employee walk with you - but denying you that right or saying you have to call in advance goes against all GA school board policies. The whole point of just showing up is to see the true nature of the school. Calling in advance gives them time to "clean up". It also sounds like they are hiding something.

Good Luck!

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Start with the district office. If they don't provide any insight or solutions, keep going upward. Don't stop until you get satisification. No school can withhold a child's lunch. It hinders learning when a child is hungry. Why do you think they say to feed them a good breakfast before standardized testing.

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