School Withholding Lunch

Updated on November 02, 2007
M.F. asks from Kennesaw, GA
51 answers

Hi, haven't been on this site much for a few months i had a friend my age she died of breast cancer that spread and I have been very sad. None the less I am turning to all of you for advise and support. I have learned that the school that my two oldest children go to have used a punishment of not letting the children eat their food if they are talking. Now lets understand that sometimes just like when we were in school one person does something all of us get punished. My oldest son who weighs about or did weigh 49lbs has lost about ten days ago showed 1 and 1/2 lbs. I couldn't understand why. He had said when he came home with his lunch box still full that "we had no time to eat" then he became very up set and I couldn't understand why, I let it go and assumed he ran out of time. Then it happened a few more times he said "the teacher wouldn't let us eat", well of course I didn't think that was the case but his food was still in his lunch box. I've learned that I need to listen better and try to communicate more effectively with him. The school cafe has lights out for no talking now I know kids can get loud, however if you talk they either have you or your class stand and if you are standing you can't touch your food(their rule) so if you stand all through lunch at the end you get NONE. Ok, so I also understand a new principal has made it so that parents can't come without 24 hours notice to observe nor can they eat lunch with their kids or stop in at lunchtime to see their kids with notice or I understand a father did and they said "no notice no visit" he said "it's my kids" they said "here's the police". I understand that many of the teachers don't want parents to volunteer in their classes they say it disrupts the class. It sure didn't last year. So what and where do I start? Of course there are other parents up set the board knows but my son has lost weight and it's still going on and he's thinks this is normal not to eat if you are bad.He's an A student.

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So What Happened?

O.K. I promised after the meeting to post what happened..it was a slap in the face from the director of the reginal office she said that the no lunches was just not true. She investigated all complaints (personally I don't know how she could be impartial investigating the people she has hired). It's noted she can't be. The audience (gasp) you could her it all over I was in shock. (how could this woman call children from all grades 80% a least of the school telling their parents and it be a lie?) Well, after over 2 1/2 hrs of a meeting that seemed like it would never end I left. I had heard enough about how we are the customer out of one side of her mouth and call our children liars out of the other side. I don't know if she has some political agenda in her future but to me she sounded just like a politician with only their own motive to move forward and step all over others and not care about the out come. If she admitted all the wrong she'd be liable and she hired them. After much sadness and listening to promises that again will not be full filled as before yr after yr and the worry that my children are left in their safety everyday and that they have no integrity, honor or character and of course my mother sense and all of you I am with drawing my children. I am looking forward to their new school where I am greeted with open arms, they want me to come anytime and see that I can trust them, they want me to come and volunteer, they welcome me stopping in at lunch whenever I want to see my children and even eat with them. I am sorry I have to leave other children at the Charter school in Kennesaw as they my remain victim to some not all mind you of leaders that are questionable. Not all of the apples are bad in the barrel so let me just say that the feelings aren't directed to all teachers at the school however actions speak louder then words and by withdrawing my children they understand I hope loudly that not only have they lost us and our respect but only after some changes would be made would we ever consider returning. I did warn them I would be doing this very soon I am waiting till thanksgiving because they are off 1 week and the transition for my children would be best this way. I love and thank all of you for your opinion, support and understanding as I've always had you to count on you all our very valuable to me in the sisterhood of motherhood. Thank you, thank you, thank you...and bless you, bless you, bless you......

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G.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I can't even fathom... wow, I would take my kids out of that school even if I had to drive them to another one! It seems to me something they are doing should be somehow against the law.

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P.L.

answers from Columbus on

WOW! Prisoners get better treatment. I would talk to other parents and see the principal. With holding food can be extremely dangerous for kids who are diabetic or have other blood sugaer related problems.

I feel very strongly that food should never be used as a punishment or reward.

That is my two cents.

P.

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C.C.

answers from Columbia on

Start with the district office. If they don't provide any insight or solutions, keep going upward. Don't stop until you get satisification. No school can withhold a child's lunch. It hinders learning when a child is hungry. Why do you think they say to feed them a good breakfast before standardized testing.

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M.S.

answers from Augusta on

I'm pretty sure that's, well, really really illegal.

First, send the principal a polite but very firm letter stating that you will not accept this. Include a letter from your childs doctor stating that he NEEDS to eat lunch every day. Insist on observing the lunch period if he still isn't eating, and get other parents to do the same. Contact the Board of Ed and tell them that you will take the matter further if necessary. This is the kind of thing that you could sue for, and I'm sure they know it.

However, if your son is really not touching his lunch at all, I think you should consider that maybe they really are misbehaving at the beginning of lunch time - if he was that hungry, he would start eating before anybody even had time to get into any trouble. Kids that young sometimes just don't care about following the rules if they're in a different setting. You need to make sure you know the full story before getting on the school's bad side.

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D.T.

answers from Atlanta on

That's absolutely ridiculous. If I were you I would be completely enraged. I would start by calmly discussing what's going on with a teacher so you have a full understanding of the issue-not just what your son says (not that I don't believe him but that gives you the opportunity to clarify your position). Then I would go the the principal with your complaints. If that doesn't help I would continue to move up the chain of command by going to the superintendant and the school board. Any GOOD educator knows that children can't learn when they are hungry, and that the single most important part of school success is parent involvement. Yes, having parents in the class can be distracting at first, but the students get used to it and it benefits all the children enormously. I'm sure other parents at that school are as upset as you are. You need to get as many parents as possible to complain. If the superintendant and school board hear from enough of you things will change. I'm currently working on my master's in education and this makes me sick. I can't even imagine what that principal is thinking.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

Oh heck no!! I'd have my foot so far up the principle's arse that she would smell my toes!!! There is no reason you should have to give 24 hours notice to eat lunch with you kids or see the principle! And as far as kids not being able to eat their lucnh.....um yeah, I'd have to go find where the school staff eats and take theirs away!! You need to either go to the school board with this along with all the other parents that are ticked! If that doesn't work, nothing a phone call to a local news station that wouldn't spark some town wide intrest about 1st graders being starved to death at the hands of the school!! And in the mean time, find a new school for your kids! They are young and you don't want to ruin their feelings about school this early.

Good luck! And sorry to hear about your fiend
S.

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J.A.

answers from Columbus on

First of all, if my child's school did not have a completely open-door policy I would have great concern for the reason. Your son's school should have nothing to hide. Usually your motherly instinct is correct and I can tell from your question that you are uneasy with this situation. Is this an elementary school or a daycare facility? All daycare facilities I've used in the past have had open-door policies and they do not need notice of a visit. If this is an elementary school I would do some research first and see if this policy is even legal. I find it hard to believe that it is and if you find out that your child's lunch is being withheld on a regular basis I would call the school board and make a complaint. This is not a safe punishment, especially if your child is losing weight. Bottomline, I would be extremely irate and would probably have to make a concerted effort not to go to the school and cuss someone out, especially if I couldn't see my child when I wanted to.

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S.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I suggest the first and upmost thing you do, is go straight to the school board. By pass the teacher, principle, and everybody else. Lots of times they do not know whats going on until you let them know. Had a similar problem when my son was younger, alot younger, he is 27 years old now. LOL. But the problem got solved right away. Don't wait any longer, make that phone call immediately. You will be glad and your kids will know how much you love them, even though they know that already. Problem going on now, is we don't listen to our kids enough and believe in the system like we think we should. Make that call. Let me know the results, would love to know. Hope I could be of help.

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S.A.

answers from Augusta on

That is outrageous! What school is this? You should definitely contact the school board and take legal action. I would even report it to the news media. I do believe it is unlawful and cruel to keep a child from eating, the same way it is to not let them go to the bathroom. I would contact the local authorities about the principal as well. These are your children, not the school's and the school has no rights as far as your children are concerned. The other alternative is to take them out of that school, and if you do you should still report the school's misconduct to the authorities.

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J.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Is this a public school or private? That is not right that you have to let them know you are visiting. I have taught for 11 years and parents have always been welcome to eat lunch with their child. Something is sounding very fishy. You should only have to let them know if you want to volunteer, have a conference or maybe observe the class but you have a right to see your child. I believe they HAVE to give them opportunity to eat their lunch. If they aren't supposed to talk during that time they should be sat at a different "time out" table to eat but the have to let them eat! Don't let this go. I would want to get my child out of that school! Good luck

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R.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi, First I'd like to ask, what state you live in? Because I think each
state probably has their own law as to such as this. Though I have
never heard of these rules in any of the schools around here where I
live, and I live in Northwest Georgia. I myself would be very upset also.
My daughter is 11 and just started middle school this year. The
elementary school, she attended, had "the silent lunch rule" if you were
talking and even if it was just some of the students talking and being
disruptive, all the students in that class had to have silent lunch. Which I
know the kids didnt like it but it really was no big deal, but to not
let them eat is. I would first contact, the school board, i think, and
if I saw no sign of help there I would contact maybe a magistrate judge
and tell him I nedded some legal questions answered, and deepending on
his respond....my next step would be to contact a lawyer and ask for
legal advice and see what he thought. By this time you should know
if the school system is breaking the laws of your state. If they are..
well it can be stopped, and you will be the one to get that started.
If they happen to not be, and surely they are, then I guess I would move
my children to another school. Hope this helps in some way. And also
I'd like to say I'm so very sorry for you with the loss of your friend.I
to recently lost a very dear friend of mine, on sept 11, she was 39, 6
1/2 months pregnant with twin boys and woke up to a massive heart
attack, within 5 minutes of waking up that morning, she was dead. Her
mother called 911 and they came, couldnt revive her , took her to the
hospital and did emergency to take the babies, one of the little fellows died
in life flight to another hospital, and the surviving baby is in a
hospital in Atlanta Georgia, still fight for his little life, so please
ask everyone you can to pray for him. By the way I am a 44 yr. old
mother with an 11 year old daughter.

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S.A.

answers from Atlanta on

That is against the law! Call an attorney and take your childrent to their doctor to document their weight loss. That makes me furious. If you dont mind would you email me and let me know what school district that is...I am hoping it isnt mine!

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M.N.

answers from Atlanta on

I would schedule a time to talk with the principle. I would get confirmation from him that this stuff is true - that they withhold food as punishment, that parents can't attend lunch without prior notice and that parents are not welcome in the classroom - and if it is, contact either an attorney or the local media. That usually gets results when it comes to the school system.

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A.R.

answers from Atlanta on

wow! It sounds like you should see an attorney for a "free consultation" and then go directly to meet with your school districts superintendent. This is not something to sit on. If the superintendent doesn't take action within 5-7 days you should make yourself and other parents a guest stars on your 6pm local news.

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L.M.

answers from Charleston on

I am sorry that your kids have gone without lunch.It really doesnt seem right.Can you tell me what school they go to.For the principal to say you cant eat lunch with you child is just nonsense.Since when can you not just drop in and have lunch with your child.I would go to the schoolboard.I would see what can be done about it.

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M.B.

answers from Savannah on

heres what you do so that you do not get bullied by the school district

FIRST make all the appropriate calls and write everything down. make a list of ??? uyou are going to ask- then call and ask those ??? and write down what you are told. after that if you are still getting the general run around and that they do not say they will change the rule you

THEN call the media. Call the news station and tell them that the school is refuses your child the right to eat. They will job right on it and come interview you. Once the issue is in the public eye the school will be much more coroporative.

If you have any friends or neighbors whose children are also going to the same school I would ask them to jump on your band wagon. The news will love that.

Often and in most cases until the issue comes "out of the closet" it won't be addressed.

My husband deals with the media and the school system a lot in his job and no one listens until the media is involved.

also it will probably give other parents a voice as well.

Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Charleston on

I'm not sure what school your child attends but all schools should #1. A Open door policy ( of course with you signing in at the office) and #2. They should not punish children by taking away their time to eat, children can not function and learn with their stomach EMPTY!! This is just unreal... I would go to that school and get to the bottom of these issues. You can make my child stand on the wall during recess for talking but not take away their lunch. As far as parents not being able to come in to the school I have never heard of this unless it has to do with a divorce situation where the parent isn't allowed to sign the child in or out of school. There are some cases like this as I know for a fact because I have worked in a daycare many years now. If I were you I would express my concern to the principal and if you didn't get the problem solved take it to the Head of the School District. Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

First off, I am sorry about your loss.
I had the similar situation happen last year at my son's school. He would come home with half his lunch and I would ask him why, and he would say that he couldn't open the stuff I packed for him and a teacher wouldn't help him. The things like snack packs and other snacks are hard for little kids to open. I can remember being in school and our teachers would sit with us and help us with anything. Now a days teachers are so consumed with emails and other things that our children aren't getting the LOVE they need. I would be after that school like crazy, then cannot deny your children food.
Our public school's are lost ever since they took God out and until they bring God back they will continue to go down hill. I would be at the school daily, taking them dct notes that my kid is losing weight.
Good luck to you and you as a parent have a right to just pop in on your kids.

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A.M.

answers from Panama City on

That is horrible!!!!! My daughter goes to a public school and I can pop in any time I want to. All that is required is stopping by the office to show ID and sign in, then get a visitor nametag for safety issues. My daughter is also 6, in the first grade. I can have lunch with her or sit in class if I want. I am taking nursing and early childhood education classes right now and both state that nutrition are essential to learning and paying attention in school. Also why cant they talk during lunch? Sounds like boot camp. kids need a time to socialize. your sons school should be happy my daughter doesnt go ther:)Definately call board of ed in your area. Parents are a big part of education, Dont let them push you around.

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Is this a private school? My 5 year old attends public school in Walton co and we are free to drop in at anytime. My husband has been to eat w/ our son. With all the studies of the importance of good nutrition and that people can think and learn better with eating well- the fact that they withhold lunch is very troubling to me. I'd meet w/ the principal and find out what is going on and why they have these odd polcies. I can understand w/holding a snack or ice cream but not the reg. lunch!
I hope you find some good answers. It troubles me that your son felt he could not share this with you. Do you think they have intimidated him at the school into not sharing info w/ you??
Definitely want to get some more answers. Your child comes first and needs to be well taken care of.
best of luck, L.

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R.S.

answers from Charleston on

M.,
I teach school and NONE of this makes sense to me. Every school I have ever been in has let parents come eat with their children and encourage volunteering. I am guessing that a few parents have made it bad for everyone. My suggestion would be to make notes of ALL of your concerns and make an appointment to sit daown and go over them with your children's principal. If you do not get satisfaction, make an appointment to see the school superintendent. I can tell you from experience that it is true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don't let them make you feel intimidated but don't lose your temper. Remain calm but firm. Your child is your only priority at this point.

You might think this tactic will make them be meaner to your son but I have seen children treated much better because the admin thinks the parents will go to court. Trust me they do not want that.
I'd like to know how this turns out. I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I know how difficult that is.
R.

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R.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree with the other comments.

Is this a Public or private school?

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P.W.

answers from Augusta on

What school system are you in? I have never heard of anything like this and believe that you have every right to be outraged!! I thought that public schools were required to allow parents to enter whenever the parents wanted to. I hope that things work out for you

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A.B.

answers from Atlanta on

The principal sounds like a nazi! I mean really, not letting kids eat isn't just a punishment to the kids right now, it's preventing them from learning and it certainly can't make the teachers enjoy their students(I know I can't pay attention when my stomach is growling). If you know for a fact that these things are happening (sounds like you do but get confirmation from other kids and their parents so you don't wind up looking like the wacko parent). I would send the superintendant an e-mail NOW and tell him that you will be calling on Monday morning. Then I'd tell every other parent I knew who was concerned to do the same. In fact, I would cc every member of the BOE. If the superintendent knows you have made the BOE aware of the issue, he HAS to deal with it. Be professional and attack the issue - not the principal (don't call him/her a nazi like I did!) State the facts and tell the super that you expect an explanation immediately. Don't threaten but be firm that you expect a response. Silent lunch is a reasonable punishment- no lunch is NOT!

Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I feel just as furious as some of the other mothers.If this were my child and my school one of the first things Id say to the principle is that if it were the other way around and my kid was being not fed and the school knew about it DFCS would be knocking at my door,yet its ok for them to do it?There are other ways to punish....like making the class eat in their class room in silence or seperating the talkers or assigning them to certain seats during lunch.I dont see why they wouldnt want them talking...as long as no one was yelling or screaming I dont see why its a big deal.Sounds to me like the principle needs to be a sergant in the army...not running a school for children.I say first have a meeting with the principle...maybe even let him/her know youd like to record the conversation.Youd hate for him/her to say something damaging and it come down to yours and his/her word.Then if she didnt fix the problem,advise him/her that yo plan on going over their head and getting a lawyer.I dont know what school this is but I know its not Hephzibah Elementary...my sons school doesnt like parents to just walk to the classes but your more than welcome if you sign in.Which I prefer in case someone else tried to see my child or anyone elses child.I say fight this,you may even be entitles to copensation for your child dropping weight.I would also move your children to a different school temp. until it can be taken care of.

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C.

answers from Atlanta on

IF the principal will nto listen, I would take your concerns to the superintendent. I assume this is a public school? I think it's wrong to not let them eat if they are talking...and to not let parents come in. that seems fishy to me...like they want notice so they can make sure everything is A-OK...dont' want parents just walking in and seeing anyone screw up.

You have every right to be upset...especially if your son is LOSING weight. that is not normal for a 6yo! I would definitely get the other parents together and take it back to the principal...or to the superintendent. If they don't respond, call the local news and newspaper. nothing like a little negative media attention to get them to change things.

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K.B.

answers from Savannah on

First, I am very sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose someone close to you at such a young age.

Schools not allowing children to eat their lunch is outragous!!!! What school is this? I agree with the other responses. Make the appropriate calls and then go to the media. Everyone listens when the media is involved. I am not 100% sure, but I think it is against the law to withhold food from a child as punishment. I understand kids get loud, but their are other methods they can use to calm them down. Food should never be taken away from a child, especially at school. Make your voice loud. No one else can protect your child, except you. Good luck with everything. PLease keep us posted on what happens.

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Please post the name of the school. We need to know for our children's sake.

I agree with everyone...go straight to the top and insist action is taken immediately. If not satisfied, go to the media, that will get their attention!

In the meantime, I'd be attending school with my kids until it is resolved (they can't keep you out).

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T.H.

answers from Spartanburg on

I went to the website for that school, and it sounds more like a boot camp for kids than a school. I have never seen so many rules and some silly, at that. It is not an environment I would want my child in, but if it works for you then that is great.
I looked at the section on cafeteria rules and it did not say a thing about withholding food from the students as punishment. So they are definately in the wrong and something needs to be done about it. How can they expect children to live up to their standards and actually learn when they are hungry and their bellies are growling? That is just cruel. Like the other moms said, go to your school board about it, and if you don't get satisfaction try taking the story to the news. Or get a lawyer. Good Luck, I really hope this problem gets taken care of.

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I would like to know what school your son goes to, I work for the county schools and think that this school should be reported to the county and/or state for the lunch and visitation policy. I'm pretty sure it is illegal to withhold lunch and you should be able to stop into the school to see your kid, even though it would be nice to have notice of when you are coming. And volunteering in the class should be appreciated, not looked down on. Please report this school.

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J.H.

answers from Charleston on

Good Morning M.,

I am very involved with my kids school and if that ever happened with them I would call and get a meeting with the Superintendent and make sure you get an appointment with in the next few business days. If they put me off and do not allow you to speak with him/her or after you talk with the Superintendent nothing changes go to the media. I would make sure that this never happen to my son again.

When you talk with the media they can look into it with out putting your name out there. I had some thing happen at my son school back in GA and it changed things and right after school started some one at our school talked with the media and things changed. I am not saying to go to them first but only be willing to talk to the Superintendent and do not take no for an answer. If you get no for an answer or things do not change talk to the media.

If it is the dorchester 2 district I know a few people and may be able to help more. If not please let keep us posted how it turns out. Remember your child can not go all day with out eating it can cause many health issues and if it was you not willing to feed your son all day I am sure that someone would report you.

Best of luck!

Ms. H.

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B.F.

answers from Savannah on

I would go to the school ASAP to find out why my child has been denied his food . This is a cruel and dangerous form of punishment . NO CHILD should be denied nourishment at school ! My next stop would be the Board of Education . If that doesn't end it , my next stop would be the Newspaper and Lawyers office . Please don't delay in finding out about this . Good luck , sounds like you've got a good kid , and this is not a normal practice .

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M.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi.. Oh My Goodness....... What school are you talking about? I know that they use a "lights out" at Shelton Ele, but they tell the kids to eat and not talk and they never tell you not to come and see your children at school they instead want you to come!...... I would pull my child out of that school NOW, contact parents and get my childs weight documented by his doctor. I would give your child support at this moment.. Theses are our babies we are talking about, do what is best for him. I am not sure how you can go about this legaly, but I would be moving %$&( to find out. Please stand up and make a voice, If you have to start your own group with other parents then do it and make some NOISE. I Hope and Pray all works out for you.
Sorry this just makes me MAD that a school would do this, and well our tax dollars pay them for this......

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K.S.

answers from Savannah on

I would be outraged and insist on having a meeting with the school's staff immediatly. That is not healthy and in my opinion abusive. Don't let them do that. What school is it by the way?

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree with all the comments here!! You have to get your son out of this school!!

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

what school is this? the principal needs to be fired!! i would be furious. any school that would not allow me to see my child, when i wanted, would not have my child as a student. i'd be making sure the school heard what i had to say!!

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W.B.

answers from Atlanta on

That's ridiculous. I have taught in both public school and currently teach music in a private school. THEY CANNOT hold lunch as punishment against kids. Even children placed in in-school suspension are allowed to eat lunch. What you described isn't normal. Mom, you need to make your voice heard now and put your foot down. I don't know what this new thing is with schools not allowing parents to volunteer in class and being involved, but if more parents were involved, communication would be clear and less confusion would exist in schools. I would call for an immediate meeting with the teacher AND the principal. They can't deny your concern, its your child. Talk to them first, and see where their heads are at first before taking the next step. Perhaps there is a misunderstanding. If you are STILL not satisfied, go immediately to the school board or superintendent and voice your concerns. No school wants the school board involved in their affairs, so hopefully they will try to rectify the situation before it gets to that point. But there is absolutely NO excuse that your son isn't getting his lunch. I am a teacher, and I understand a teacher's frustration, but I am also a parent. As teachers, we are to serve the children the best way we know how, and we have to remember these children are someone else's child. Not just some number. Showing your face and discussing your issue will remind them that your child is a human and deserves to be treated as such. Good luck to you, and don't wait. Do it today!

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J.E.

answers from Macon on

I am sorry about your friend. As far as the school goes, I would definetly go to the Board of Education, contact a local newspaper or something. My child's school has never told me that I couldn't come have lunch with her. We can go anytime we like without advance notice. The teachers at her school are always looking for parent volunteers(we are very welcome). That just does not seem right that the school wouldn't allow you to come eat with your child without a 24 hour notice. The kids at my daughters school are moved to a special table when they are being too noisy, but are they are allowed to eat lunch. Sounds like this school needs to be checked up on.

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C.H.

answers from Columbia on

Hey im sorry to hear your story..Im a mother of 5 kids and id be upset to hear that going on here..To me that sounds horrible and id take my kids out of that school..It sounds cruel to me to make a young child go without eating and have a child lose weight is wrong...Something should be done about that..

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A.M.

answers from Augusta on

This is wrong on so many levels! I would get in contact with one of the local newstations and have them bring awarness to everyone what this school is doing. I would also get in contact fast with your local congressman especially now since voting will take place in a few weeks. I hope this helps, and good luck.

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C.N.

answers from Atlanta on

I am going to start by saying I am sorry to hear that you lost your friend I know that could be rough. I would if I was you go up to that school every chance I got. What are the rules about the school's being a n open policy they cannot call the police because parents have the right to visit their children at school. If the teachers feel as if it is too much of a distraction to have parents volunteer in the classroom then they need to come up with ta volunteer solution so that you guys have the option to do so. With holding food from the children is consider corporal punishment ask to see their policy and procedures on discipline and if they have to follow state guidlines or any type of performance standard ask to see the guidline or the number of the standard that supports their actions. I pray all goes well. How is your son has he gained back what he has lost

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B.I.

answers from Atlanta on

M.,
You don't say where you are from, but this is CHILD ABUSE!

Report your school the the Department of Families and Children Sewrvices in your area immediately!

Contact your School Super intendant and CONPLAIN! Contact your Govenor's Office.

Make noise! This ABUSE has to stop.

I am a "mandated reported." So I urge you to make some calls!

B.
deaffmommie

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A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Contact the county Board.

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C.W.

answers from Athens on

I would first contact the local school board and lodge a complaint with them. If they don't respond or if you are not satisfied with their answer, contact the state school board and the state school superintendent. If you still are not satisfied, contact an attorney. There is no reason whatsoever for the school to deny children the right to eat their lunch.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

M.,
I'd report them to the school board and if that doesn't work try the state board of education. The principal can be reported to the Department of Human Resources for child neglect. No matter how "bad" the children may be the school cannot with hold food from any child.
Also, I don't think the principal can say a parent can't come to the school. Anyone who has a child enrolled at any school has the right to drop by anytime to check on their child, the teachers, the staff. I agree with getting a visitor pass before walking around the school and letting the main office know that you are there and maybe even having an employee walk with you - but denying you that right or saying you have to call in advance goes against all GA school board policies. The whole point of just showing up is to see the true nature of the school. Calling in advance gives them time to "clean up". It also sounds like they are hiding something.

Good Luck!

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M.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I had to respond today because a school should never ever prohibit you from seeing your child. To me, this indicates that they are hiding something. Also, what kind of lesson are they teaching by using food as a form of discipline? This goes against everything that parents have been trying to change about society and its distorted views.

I understanding the lights out to quiet the kids if they get too noisy but they should still be able to sit and eat in silence. If someone continues to misbehave then that student should get lunch detention and they have to help clean up. This was the rule at the elementary school my nieces and nephew attended. An alternative is to have the unruly student sit separately or at a teachers' table. That should fix them.

With regards to your son, the fact that he is losing weight due to the school's current policy is wrong, wrong, wrong!!! I would contact the school board or if your son attends a private school, I would contact the entity that gives the school its accreditation and I would report the improper and completely unhealthy form of discipline the principal is using. I would also call the school and make an appointment with the principal or better yet, just drop in and ask to see the principal. Explain to her/him that your son's health, as well as the physical and mental health of other students is being negatively affected by the new lunch discipline policy. The main thing to keep in mind is that it's not just a simple matter of skipping lunch but how that affects children physically and mentally. They are tired and cannot concentrate and they start to associate not eating with bad behavior and as women, haven't we learned enough about keeping food and behavior separate? I wish you and your son well.

I've only been signed up for this site a few months but I
really enjoy reading the daily e-mails and the stuff Moms write. I'm a single Mom with an amazing 11 year old daughter.

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R.H.

answers from Augusta on

Is this a public or private school? I agree with most of the other responses. Something is majorly wrong. I would have a meeting with the principal. If you get no satisfaction or nothing changes get a group of parents organized to give other parents a place to go with reports. Then you can go to the school board with documentation of what is happening. If no results, get the media involved. It sure does seem like the school is trying to hide stuff if you have to give a 24 hour notice. You should be able to go in and monitor any class at any time as long as you have reported to the office so that they are aware that you are a legimate parent and are no safety threat to the children.

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N.W.

answers from Columbia on

Whoa - which school is this? It sounds extremely iffy to me - sounds like they need expert help to deal with discipline issues without creating eating problems for the children. I don't know the full story so can't comment fully , but also any school that rejects parent involvement has serious problems in my view - education NEEDS parent involvement to succeed (I'm an educator myself).
My advice is get fully informed and listen to all sides, but ultimately make sure the children are protected from trauma.

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A.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I cannot believe this is an actual punishment. Who thought this cruelty up? I dont think I would let my kids go to this school. Is it public? Is there any way you can report this? There has to be some rule to what they can and cannot do, as far as forms of punishment. Taking away food seems like one of those things that should not be taken away. This is about the kids, they are young, growing, and they need their food. Not being able to visit without notice, I dont think so. In my opinion, you should find another school. To me this is a total outrage!!

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T.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi M., my name is T., I have 3 daughters ages,11,9,1, I just moved to GA, about a month ago and I don't have a problem with the school system so far, but I think that's wrong for a child to go hungry for talking there are other ways to discipline. Besides starving the child, but it seems like they have something to hide, school suppose to have a open door policy come and check on your kid whenever u like, Did you try going to the school board or the superintendent, and finding out if they can do that? Because, that just don't seem right look further into it.

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S.C.

answers from Atlanta on

How much time do you have? The first thing I would do is take my child to the dr and get a dr note that due to weight issues, he MUST, due to his weight, have xx amount of time to eat his lunch.

If that didn't work - then you have a second issue to take to the superintendent (not the board).

Then I would start coming to school every day at lunch time and sign my child OUT, take him to a park nearby or even just to the car, and after he eats lunch, sign him back into schoo. Tell the school he has medical treatment at that time (he does, with a dr note madating lunch).

If that doesn'tsolve the issue, take THAT to the superintendent.

IF that doesn't help, the school board.

The last resort is to call the newspaper (with other parents) and do an article on why lunch is a vital part of the school day.

The last step is to remove your child from school and file a complaint with the state for denial of food. BTW, in most states, the DFCS (or DYFS, or the "welfare") refuse to allow punishment by denial of food!!

I ama the mother of six, a foster parent for 40 years, and a pediatric nurse. I have little patience for school systems which are punitive and cruel.

S.

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