School punishment-Thanks I Got All the Answers I Need

Schools have zero tolerance weapons policies for a reason. That's why he got in-school suspension just for the app. If you were an administrator you cannot just "talk" to someone about bringing something that is a "virtual" gun. Talk to him about it, but don't undermine the school's authority. Like it or not, they have rules that they have to enforce for everyone, for the safety of everyone.
And definitely go through his phone to remove any apps that are inappropriate (you should probably be doing that on a regular basis anyway. :)

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I agree that the school is overreacting. If they just said it was an issue with the phone, that'd be one thing...but the app? Really? I'm in the Army. My boys are always talking about warfighting.

I would make it clear to your son that, regardless of what cool apps he has on his phone, his phone needs to stay in his bag when he's on campus.

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Yeah, I think they have gone a little crazy with the Zero Tolerance. I know that my six year old cousin got in trouble for drawing army guys with guns. (His uncle is in the military). Really?

If it was just for having the app then yeah, it's a little extreme. If it's because he had a cell phone out when he shouldn't have...then I could see it.

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I also substitute teach in elementary which is k-5. MANY kids have phones and for good reasons. My 16 yr old had her first phone by 4th grade.

School policy is not to have them out at school or they get taken up, this also means at lockers.

I personally don't have an issue with phones at school as long as they are not used in class. I do know our elementary school is strict with the phone policy. Just last week when I was there, a phone was taken up because some kids were videoing each other and the principal had a fit about it due to privacy issues, etc. I do know if anything has any type of gun, drug, etc that ISS happens.

Maybe the school is using your son as an example... sometimes that happens. I just look the other way when I see kids getting ready to go home and pull a phone out to text mom or something. Like you said, they are at the locker.

If I saw this app or game being played at the locker, I might take the phone up if it was causing a lot of negative attention or simply talk about the app being inappropriate and have your son place the phone in his backpack for the day. It would depend on the "attitude" I got from your son.

In High school, phones are no longer banned unless they are being used in class. My 11th grader texts me all day with updates, etc. Most of the teachers are open about it as well unless of course testing is in progress, etc.

I probably would not punish my daughter when she got home. I would just remind her that some things are taken WAY more seriously and to avoid the situation by taking herself out of the situation which means, keep the phone in the backpack. You know the school policy now and how they reacted so you know how much leadway you have.

A bit tough punishment, yes.

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There is a lot of overreacting on campus lately.
One of our kids was suspended for having a peashooter, in another for dressing in a banana suit and running across the football field at halftime. In NC the girls can be sent home for wearing skirts or shorts that are too short or spaghetti straps. For good reason the schools have a no tolerance policy, but that usually means common sense is thrown out the window.

I wouldn't punish this either. I would check his phone and let him know what is and isn't appropriate.

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The school probably has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence and so it was probably an automatic suspension.

Is your son a danger or bad influence or some crazy lunatic? Definitely not. Just a regular 5th grade boy. Probably a great kid!

What would I do? I would support the school's suspension, and give my son a stern lecture about violence at school. Games with gun shooting, not ok. Threats, even in fun, not ok. Lots of things that used to be ok are now not allowed because of zero tolerance. I grew up in Maine and EVERY boy brought a pocket knife to school. During hunting season, in high school, most boys had rifles in their trucks. Now, a pocket knife will get you suspended or even expelled.

Also, violent app aside, he shouldnt be showing ANY apps to other kids, because he should be studying/working.

Its a different climate now, and schools have these zero tolerance policies which are designed to protect students. They also end up suspending lots of kids for silly things.

In any case, the rules are the rules, and he needs to be taught to be aware of them and follow them.

You also might schedule a meeting with a principal, and explain why you think the rule defies common sense.

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A zero-tolerance policy on guns means ZERO tolerance. I'm not going to debate with you whether it's appropriate for your 11 year old to have a gun/shooting ap, but he was playing with his phone at school (suspendable by itself in many schools) and was playing with an ap that promotes guns, shooting and violence (definitely suspendable). I don't think an in-school suspension is out of line at all and would probably be thankful that it wasn't a full suspension. If you convey to him that you don't feel he deserved the punishment received, even though he broke rules, all you will be teaching him is that he can do as he pleases, that rules are to be ignored.

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A gun app promoting violence??? I don't think so. No punishment for your son. Unfortunately another example how 'we' have to cater our lifestyles so no ones feelings get hurt. Good thing he didn't show anyone a Christmas app, some Muslims may have been offended. My how times have changed.

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I would find out if the suspension and the reason will be in his permanent records. If so, I'd get a lawyer to help expunge this from his record. That's what I'd be most worried about.

I'd also make sure he never does this again. Tell him it's kind of like going through security at the airport. It is against the rules to even joke about a bomb or a gun.

Good luck - I hope you can work this out.
D.

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Well, he learned a lesson. It's not the end of the world, and I think you would be doing more harm than good if you try to fight this. If you think the school has no business judging your son for his apps, then the phone should be shut off before he walks through the school door. At that moment at his locker before classes started, the phone was not a vital communication tool, it was a toy, and it was a distraction. I think you should just advise him to shut if off before he walks in the door from now on and not turn it on until he leaves the building after school. I wouldn't make it a bigger deal than that.

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I dont think it was to harsh because kids need to understand that anything to do with guns are not allowed. Also he probably wasnt even suppose to have his phone on in school.

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I do not think it was appropriate for your son to have his phone out and on at school. Sure he can keep it in his pocket, so that after school he can check in with you or dad.
Do they have that rule at the school?

At our schools, if a cell phone is out during school hours, they will confiscate the phone and the parents must come to the school to pick it up from the assistant principal. In High School, they can only have it on at lunch.

I also think that type of app, should not be shown on school property. It is just not appropriate.

I do think this was a safe time for him to realize his behaviors do have consequences. And so I do not think it was over the top. I know I would not be pleased if our daughter behaved this way at school. It is just not a place to have a suggestion that shooting a gun, even if it was a toy gun or a gun on a cell phone is ok.. .

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Personally I think they over reacted. Now if it showed someone getting shot and dying.. then yes I would see where it would be inapproprate.

A few years back my son got talked to because he took one of those little plastic soldiers holding a gun to school. He didn't get into trouble, but they said since it had a gun molded onto it he couldn't bring it to school.

While I get where they are coming from, I think some things they do go a little far with... like my son's 2in plastic figurine and your son's app on his phone. But then if they allow those types of things where do you draw the line? So it is best to have the zero tollerance policy. But he should have had a talking to, not detention.

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That’s ridiculous. Missy F's response is also ridiculous... a zero tolerance policy on guns??? He did not have a gun for crying out loud, he had a PICTURE. I have a picture of a race car on my phone, does that make me a race car driver? The school is totally overreacting. I absolutely would not punish him additionally, just help him take it as a lesson to leave the phone in his bag and be aware that sometimes even adults make bad choices.

OMG, did someone really just relate this issue to the Columbine shootings? That is so stupid, its actually offensive.

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phones should not be on at all while in the school building to avoid trouble.......schools have gone way over board with all their stupid policies that are truly harmless.

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Due to circumstances we are all aware of, schools today have a strict zero tolerance policy when it comes to guns and other weapons. Based on history it is understandable. This policy even transcends our Halloween parties, parades and costumes. We are not allowed to even have a toy weapon as part of our costume.

So yes I can see where a phone app would fall in violation of this policy. Do I think they are overreacting? No zero tolerance is zero tolerance. Do I think you are underreacting? Yes. I am not sure about your district but we must sign off that we read and understood the policies each year. You probably signed off and agreed to this zero tolerance policy.

It is my understanding that you were not aware that he had that app on his phone. I am sure you never imagined he did. Now you do so now you need to have the conversation with him as to what is okay and what is not okay and what is against school policy. Look at it as a lesson learned the hard way.

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Guns are not cool. Neither is shooting one. That's what that app does. So, he learned his lesson. No "guns" at school. Do I think they overreacted? Maybe. But, now he can sit at home and do chores around the house and use his noodle next time he decides to do something that is against the rules at school.
Laura

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If the policy is that no phones are allowed to be on at school, attracting crowds, playing games, etc, then it seems silly to actually "check the apps". Who cares what the app is if the phone is turned off in a bag in a locker? So the actual "it was a gun app that got him suspended" is weird to me. If the rule is NO horseplay with phones whatsoever is the issue, then I guess if he had his phone out showing kids an app it is against that rule. In other words, if he would have gotten the same treatment if it was a foreign language learning app. But if the rule is "no certain apps" then I guess he broke the rule. If it was my kid, I would think it was silly, because a gun app is not a real gun for goodness sakes. But I would stand by the school, because there are lots of "dumb" rules in life to follow. And it's really not the end of the world to get punished. With all the freedom kids have these days compared to past generations, I'd just tell my kid to buck up, take it like a man, and don't do it again. I do think suspension isn't helping anyone in the long run though, but policy is policy.

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Well, I guess now he knows now then, sigh. Yeah, I do think it's a little over the top (whatever happened to a warning?). And no I would probably not punish him farther. But I would point out to him, it's just not that HARD to follow the rules, especially now that he KNOWS them!

:)

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No lecture on the cell phone, my daughter had one in middle school but that was 7th grade. He KNEW the rules, he can't have that at school and the school has to be consistent. I think it is very important for parents to back the school unless the school is being irresponsible (they are not in this situation).

He's young but old enough to know he has to follow the rules and I would support the suspension and probably have some consequences to drive the message home. More important than checking the phone is teaching him to make good decisions and choices.

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Our school district requires that phones be turned off any time the child is on campus during school hours. I suspect part of the punishment involves using the phone when it was supposed to be turned off.

I agree that a suspension seems a bit harsh but I respect the school's efforts to keep everyone safe. Is it possible that your son said something like, "I'm going to shoot you" and then showed the other child the app just to be funny? That would be considered a threat of violence and suspension would be appropriate.

If it were me, I would ask my son a lot of questions and get more details about what happened but I would support the school's position. Then I would call my cell phone carrier and add the "parent controls" to my account. That way, you can limit his hours of usage and restrict his ability to purchase apps without your consent.

As for a middle schooler having a cell phone, I bought phones for my daughters when they started middle school too.

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As far as the punishment goes I am not sure if it was too harsh. Was he suspended for using his phone during school or having a violent app? it seems to me that detention or Saturday school would be more effective. In his fifth grade brain, he gets a "day off". In this day and age, I think schools have to be tough on anything to do with guns. It's unfortunate, but just a fact of life.

It sounds like the easiest solution would be to get him a basic phone without apps. He has the phone you need for him, but no option to add apps and get in trouble.

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You say the kids are allowed to have phones IN school but you do not say if they are allowed to have the phones actually switched on inside the school building. Some schools have policies that say a child can carry a switched-off phone into the school (so the child has it later in the day, for instance, to call a parent for pickup when the child goes outside to leave) but kids cannot turn the device ON at any time while inside the building.

Check with the school. If that is the policy, your son violated it simply by having the phone powered up inside the school building, regardless of the specific app he was showing other kids.

You don't mention whether you find the gun app troubling. The focus in the post is just on whether the school over-reacted. I might focus less on what the school did and more on why my child would find that particular app amusing, and I'd go through his whole phone to delete all apps you think are inappropriate. It may be his phone but you pay the bills -- and he needs to know that anything he puts on there is something you can and will see.

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Frankly, ususally zero tolerance doesn't equal in school suspension...it usually equals out of school. So to me they did give a little...and as someone else pointed out if you signed the handbook, well you should be aware of the rules.

I'm not going to debate cell phone and why people give them to their kids, however, I will say that he was at his locker and whether or not it was school hours he was on school property using it.

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Remember the Columbine shootings? All I'm saying is that an app like that, in a tortured kid's hands, could encourage said kid's interest in guns, bad thoughts, fantasies, etc. I think the school has to err on the side of caution & they did the right thing.

I don't think a kid needs an app like that, or a fancy phone like that, but I guess I'm old school. Not to mention, the phone probably shouldn't be on during school hours, on school grounds.

Honestly, I think good, old school, zero tolerance discipline is what needs to happen in order to keep the youth of today in check. Teachers & administrators have enough to worry about, without worrying about parents who let their kids have inappropriate apps on their phones.

Parents are too easy, lazy & would rather say "yes" than be the parent nowadays. The fact that you are excusing all of this as "boys will be boys" says a lot.

I think he did something he wasn't supposed to and was punished. Hard lesson to learn but we live a very pc and sensitive world where guns are a no no! I know that you know your son and his intent but if my child came home and told me about the gun app they saw at school from another child that I didn't know, it would bother me and I might call the school.