School or No School

I went back to school and got my degree in business. It was a 15 month stint at school and there were days when I was conviced that I just couldnt do it. I have two kids, I was working part time and I have to run my house. I was very fortunate that I have a wonderful husband who helped me very much. I was able to graduate with a 3.46 GPA. I was so proud of my self and now I can show my kids that I did go to college and I did it even though I had a lot of stumbling blocks. Even though it may seem to hard keep with it because if you dont do it now you may never do it. You will feel great when you have graduated. Good Luck

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Hi K.S.

First of all, I think it is wonderful that you seek counsel from other women, who have perhaps been there... I would recommend making a list of all the things you do during the day/week. Taking it to the Lord in prayer, and ask for help to discern what should take priority. Number them in priority of when you want to start working on it, and when you would like it to be completed. Try to stick to your goals, but allow some flexibility. I don't know how far into the class, and really cannot judge your situation to whether to quit or pursue this class as well as others. I know it is tempting to think well, I can handle everything I have to do right now, why not try this also, and keep adding until well it's too much. Try not to throw everything out, but really consider why you are doing what you are doing, and who does it glorify and serve. Definitely continue to work with your little one in getting nap time together again. My son likes to have a little snack after lunch time before he goes to sleep, whereas his brother goes to bed before then. Keep tweaking the time. And when it is time for nap, consider saying a prayer of thanks for the morning, and for times of sleep, that she would be blessed and refreshed during this nap. And your time would be well spent accomplishing the goals you have set for the day. Finally, I know the importance of getting together with other moms and relating to each other, as well as allowing the children to interact, but perhaps you can conserve it do certain hours, some days. And not feel overwhelmed that you have to continue meeting with everyone and keep all your prior commitments. There is a time and season for everything. So perhaps this season is now for you to pursue further studies, and allow the gatherings to take a little more of a back burner. God's grace is sufficient. Try to embrace what has been given to you at this time, and not fret about the rest. May all things working together for good, for those called according to His purpose. Perhaps He is also building the fruits of the spirit and sharpening your character through these trials...

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What you need to do is prioritize what is more important to you. I would sugest making a list of all you are doing and lable them from most important to least important. How ever speaking from experience if you quit school now you may never go back because something else comes along.

M.

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WOW!! You are busy. I would think that you should finish your classes now, since you are wanting 3 or 4 more children in the future. When would you possibly have the time to finish your classes with a full-house like that?
Maybe you could finish your class and postpone your volunteering, or some of your mom's groups. I would say just to finish your schooling, so that you'll be all done, and then have plenty of time for all those other things (volunteering, etc...).

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Dear KS, you sound like a busy mom. It is wonderful that you have the privilege/opportunity to be home with you little one. It is easy to fill up your schedule, but it is also important for you to think about what is most important to you so that you can prioritize your activities. You mentioned you work at a photography studio, you volunteer and attend many moms groups. Is it possible to cut back on any of the moms groups? Or cut back studio time to 2 days/week?

Part of prioritizing is thinking about what your short term and long term goals are for your life. Funny as it may sound, many have never written down their goals. Let your goals help guide your decisions about how you spend your time.

One thing is sure, being home with your preschooler is a gift, an investment in your child's life. Arranging your life so you can love, teach and pour into her is a very good thing. I hope this is helpful. I wish you well. DJ

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It is so easy to pack our schedule so a point of busting, and before we realize it, our families have been the ones sacrificed. I think continuing education is a wonderful thing, and I think, personally, that we should always be working to better ourselves, but we need to establish priorities too. My oldest is 6 and the last 6 years have gone by SO FAST. I wasn't at home until after our second was born and I regret missing so many of the little moments with my first. I don't think we can give our children any greater gift than our time. You are that child's mother - granted the opportunity to raise, teach, guide them.... some parents choose to give that responsibility to other people (placing them in day care / school/ etc) Even if you have to sacrifice financial gain to spend as much time as possible with your children, it will be well worth it. I also understand that, for some people, in order to be a good mom, they need time away for themselves... and that is a balance that everyone has to figure out for themselves, i am convinced that it is different for everyone. If you really plan on having a big family, (I have 4 kids myself - may have more...) well, I have gained the greatest satisfaction when I have simplified and focused on that one purpose. I think you can always go back to school later, you can't get those first few years back from your children, they will grow with or with out you. :-( Treasure every moment possible! I hope no one reads this as judgemental or is offended if they go a different direction, this is simply my opinion and its how I live for now and I am more satisfied in my life - at home with 4 kids - than I ever was in being educated or employed. I'm sure you'll find what is right for you and your family and I hope you find it soon!

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KS:
Should you continue with school? That depends. Are you going back for a degree to someday qualify for a good paying job? Or is it just for personal enrichment? If you are serious about the school thing then make the sacrifices now before your life gets more complicated. Cut down on the "Mom" groups. Work 2 times a week instead of 3.
Pretty simple....
Good luck to you.

Better now than later. You will only get more busy with each baby, and you will just keep putting it off. By the time your youngest is old enough to be out of your way while you work, you will be trying to come up with tuition money for your first to go to college. My advice is stick with it! I started school 1/2 time online when my first was 4 months old. It took a long time to complete, but I am glad I did.

I'm going to second or third the thoughts already posted. Get what ever schooling you can now. It's only going to get harder later and more important to you in the end. Especially if you are going to have more kids.

Best of luck.

K.

I say continue with school, nothing beats an education. I am a 30 yr old mom of a 3 yr old and a 10 mo old and I am a student as well. It is difficult to find time for classes and homework and I get stressed and I am tired a lot but I really feel it will be worth it in the end. At this time I only take one class a quarter, maybe I will be able to do more soon but if not that is ok.

Hi KS...this is J.. I'm thinking, WHY are you taking classes? Are you looking for a career? There are plenty of in-home business opportunities out there, and you might just look into them and consider just staying home for good.
Preschool is an option, not a requirement. If you are able
to, there are alternatives to working outside the home and putting your children in school! I discovered home schooling ten years ago, and pulled all four of my kids out of public school and brought them home. I never have regretted a day of it! It was a great experience for all of us, and my kids are not only leading productive adult lives, but they are still best friends even today.
Just a suggestion...if you'd like more info, you are welcome
to write back and perhaps I can help.
:>) J.

K S,

I have a 4 1/2 year old boy and a 11 month old girl. When my son was 2ish I started him in the daycare at the local community college. That worked well for us, except for the cost of daycare and all the red tape and hoops we had to jump through to get DSHS (Dept of social and health services) to cover almost all of the cost.

After my daughter was born March 2007 I quit school to stay home. I would love to return to school, but the cost of childcare is too high, we don't make enough money, I don't want to deal with DSHS again and I enjoy staying home with my two kids.

What's my point? If you can find a balance between all that's on your plate go for it!

Hope this Helps,
M.

KS

I am a recent empty nester who teaches full time and am on the last leg of my master in education program. I went back to school in my 30s to get my teaching degree because I had to work. I decided to pursue my dream career as opposed to deadend jobs. I love my job but, if the second income hadn't been necessary, I would have stayed home with my children. I would be a stay at home Nana, if that were possible! :)

Your children will grow fast, too fast! It sounds like you can afford to stay home and have a very supportive husband. I would encourage you to stay home, slow down, take care of you and your family, and enjoy life.

Take care!

DC

You need to ask yourself - How important is school? If you are on your way to improve your future with school why stop? If you are choosing school - I think you should cut down on some of the other activities. It's hard to juggle Everything. And if you are planning to have more children - your time will be decrease even more - so when are you able to go back to school? I would take advantage of the time you have with just one little one at home rather than all the more you are planning on having in the near future.
Good luck with your decision.

K.S.,
I'm a 34 year old with 6 children. I finished college with my AA when had just had my 3rd child. I took online courses full time so I totally understand the stress of homework assignmnets. I HAD to be on a tight schedule with my self, it took a lot of self discipline and I was very tired a lot. BUT it was worth it! My oldest had started Kindergarten and I had a 3 yearold and new born. I couldn't imagine going to school right now with as many kids as I have. My goal is to get my BA but I put all that on hold. I at least wanted to finish one degree, for one so I could homeschool and personal enrichment and be an example to my children. Even if you don't put your daughter in preschool, you can teach her to play beside you so that you can study while she plays. What I would do was put some of my plastic bowls and wooden spoons with some of their pretend foods on floor beside where I'd be (at least in same room) so I could keep an eye on them. It helped so I didn't have to constantly get up and check on them. If you'd write down your schedule, even for study time you'll see it helps sooooo much. Imagine yourself scheduling for someone else and always schedule a little extra time so not to rush yourself, then organize yourself. If you plan ahead, it makes a tremendous amount of difference. Plan your rest time as well, perhaps when reading to your child do naptime right after reading to her and set your alarm so you can rest with her, even if its only 20-30 minutes. You will see it makes a difference. IF/WHEN your child goes to preschool, even school for that matter, their on a schedule in school so don't think your doing her injustice. Another thing, you may want to look into what your child will be doing in preschool... I found when I looked into it, a lot I was already doing with my child. If you end up taking your child to school and picking her up, it may cost you more time with her in preschool. Depending on your child, she may actually pick up bad manners from other children, if your child is easily influenced. All in all, enjoy her while you have her so young, as you have more they seem to grow up so fast. And if you decide to put off school, as you have more children as you stated that's what you want... Remember or think everything increases as far as your workload at home, that's more cleaning, cooking, and laundry. And with them so young most of that is all on you. Also, I have a 3 year old and he takes 1 nap a day but I have to make him take one, we do it right after reading time. He will resist and want to play but I stay firm with him, that it is nap time and he can play later. He'll take 1-1.5 nap and get up chipper as ever. And he sleeps average of 11 hours a night. And I take 30 minute nap when I can, even though I'm not in school, I have enough things at home to keep my busy for days never ending. Get use to no me time for awhile if you plan on having more kids. Having kids is a me sacrifice. I love all my kids dearly, but me time right now is none existence. Right now I enjoy everything and know they'll be time when my me sacrifice will no longer be needed, I see it with older ones. They become independent on their own. With your being in 30's... I don't know what your goal is for school, but with your age you may have to put school on hold. I see more and more older people going to back to college. So even after your done having your children, you can always go back in the future. I just thought of your age, so that's an after thought. Also get your husbands input. IF you stay in school and continue with your family, is your husband who you said would do anything for you and your child, is he willing to help you with household chores, after he comes home from work? Or take time to spend with your daughter/kids while you study? Things to think on and bring up with your husband. If its a team effort and he's willing to do anything and help you, that will also make a tremendous difference. Communication with your husband is very important. Good luck.

What are you looking to get out of school? Do you have a career in mind that you need the piece of paper for, or just want it to say you have it? Security for if you're ever single again? Adult interaction & brain stimulation? Are you paying out of pocket, thru grants or student loans? What's your return on investment? My first thought was drop the mom's group or volunteering so much, but I know exactly what I want to do, and plan on doing it when I'm finished, so I'm very goal-oriented to finishing. Sounds like your situation is different?

Maybe you should quit going to one or more of your many "mom groups"? Asking for a less challenging class, it sounds like you may have a fear of failure. Don't quit! you may have to re-prioritize, but school will probably benefit you more than volunteering or going to "mom groups". Don't be scared of success!

KS,
My thoughts, cut the extra stuff and stay in school. My sister worked two jobs before she went to college full time to raise her children. Then she worked one job PT and did an internship PT while going to PSU full time and has almost finished raising three children while doing this. She also graduated PSU in 2005 at the age of 39. It was a huge struggle for her at that age. She graduated with honors, but found the schedule busy and stressful. She developed anxiety while in college from trying to be supermom and super student. Since then, she has realized that being Lacrosse coach, band activity coordinator, volunteer, chaufer, mother, soul provider and student very overwhelming.
My thoughts, stay in school while you are home and your child is small. Things only get busier as your child goes to school. (The schools ask a lot of parents now. I have two in school.) Cut the extra volunteer stuff and the mom groups for a while, you'll have plenty of that later. Take the hard classes now while you can make the time. Trust me, you'll benefit in the long run.
God Bless.

Decide which of your activities means the least to you and cancel that one. For example, you may decide to cut back on the Moms groups, but keep the class. Just decide where you need to cut back. Or postpone the school until next September. You have to decide where your priorities lie. Put everything on a sheet as to what is most to least important to you, and cut back on what's least important. It sounds as though you have more options than just cutting down on school.

I guess it all depends on what your goals with school are and how fast you want to be done. I am also in online classes again after being out for two years. I will be done with my AA this quarter and it took a total of three years of school with two years of breaks. I finished my last classes three weeks before I had my little boy and took a year off for the baby and then took another year off to build our house. I am also finding that some classes are harder than others and after the kids go to bed is the only time I have to do any homework. I am married with a nine and two year old and run my own business part time (30+ hrs/wk). Midterms were two weeks ago and I wrote 13 pages (single spaced) of essays and identifications that were due by Sunday. If school is worth it to you then keep on your track for what you want and take quarters off as you need the breathing room. Good Luck and you are not alone!