So, this is really honestly new. So, my 6-year-old started doing this since before and after winter break. She says there is this mean boy at the bus stop but i take her to the bus stop, and i stay there till the bus comes and i don't see anything. I ask is school is alright and she says everyone is nice. What she does is she will cry and throw fits. She will hit me. I try to dress her (because she wont dress herself sometimes) and she wont do it. I honestly don't know if there is something going on that she is not telling me or its just her hating on school.
Any advice on what i should do?
The mean boy's not going to be mean when you're standing right there. My honest, serious advice is to take her at her word and do something about it. Namely, wait with her for the bus every day if possible, and have a serious talk with the principal about bullying on the bus. The driver and/or the bus co. is responsible for what happens on the bus, but it'll light a bigger fire under them if they hear it from on high.
Sounds like she's making up stuff since you're at the bus stop with her. I'd make sure the bus driver is aware and see if she can sit right behind them.
I had a similar issue with my granddaughter. She'd refuse to get dressed even after picking out her clothes the night before all by herself.
I got tired of it. I'm a logical sort of person. I got tired of her doing her morning routine. I said we're leaving in 5 minutes, when time is up your going out the door in what ever you have on. Now we lived in a home that had a sheltered entry on the porch. No one can see us when we're standing outside our door, we had to take about 5 steps out for anyone on the street to see us.
I went to her room after 5 minutes and she wasn't dressed. I took her out the front door and put her on the porch and acted like I was following her out. I said "Get in the car!". She was hysterical of course, she wasn't even out of her PJ's.
I reminded her I had given her warning and told her 5 minutes or else. This was the "Or else". She begged to go in and get dressed. I told her she had 5 minutes to be back on the porch or she was literally going to school in what ever she had on.
She was back on the porch in less than 5 minutes with appropriate clothes on.
She has always been up and dressed on time. I know I made a harsh decision by putting her out the door without being dressed but she didn't think what I said mattered to her. I had to teach her to mind me and to believe that I was not to be disrespected and ignored.
I would NOT allow my child to hit me. If they hit me? They would be in a corner counting to a 100...if not more...
You need to communicate with your daughter. get down on her level and ask open-ended questions or ask her to act it out with you...YOU are your daughter and she's the mean boy. What does the mean boy do? What does he say?
Of course the mean boy is NOT going to do anything while you are standing there...that would be insane...he doesn't want to get caught.
Start teaching her how to STOP being a victim and react or ignore. Yes, mean words hurt. She can stop it. You need to give her the tools. Which means stop acting like a victim. Start standing tall and stop letting him see it bothers her.
Get her into martial arts classes.
Talk to the teachers.
Talk to the principal
TALK to her. Is something happening ON the bus? Also talk to her teacher. If not in person then at least by email.
He's bullying on the bus. I agree with teenmom - drive her to the school, talk to the principal. Report the little bugger, and hopefully the school will deal with his parents.
And if any grown-up tries to use the line "it's no big deal, right of passage, toughen up, etc." - watch this video and use it to put them in their place. It's from a french public service announcement, but it's so powerful it doesn't matter:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/09/anti-bullying-ad...
I would drive her to school for a while and also talk to the principal about bullying, or better yet, put it in writing and copy the bus company. We have found that verbal information is often not acted upon, but a letter to the principal (and keep a copy or ask for a dated "received" stamped copy when you drop it off) makes them HAVE to respond. Take this seriously. Bullying is real.
Something happened on the bus. Of course the mean boy isn't doing anything while you are right there. Mean children are usually pretty sneaky so he's not going to act out in front of a grown up. Talk to your daughter and find out exactly what happened and where it happened. Then you can use that info and talk to the bus company about having your daughter seated behind the driver if needed.
Can you take her all the way to school? Hitting you is not ok. On any level. I would have her talk to the school councillor
I think that the boy probably is a bully on the bus and the bus driver is too busy driving to see all that is going on. Have you offered to get her a ride with a friend or something? That might solve the problem. Either start a car pool with a neighbor, give them some gas money, or go to the principal about the bully. (And I would go to the principal about the bully, anyway. It would show her you love and trust what she says.)
As far as the dressing, I would not dress her. I would tell her that she will have to go to school in her pajamas if she is not ready on time. It will not stop her from going to school, and would be embarrassing for her. Thank you for caring about your daughter and trying to help her! Good luck!
Advocate for your daughter. She needs to know that you are there for her...no matter what.
My kids know that I always have their back. I have had to advocate for them both in bullying situations, even to the point of forcing the principal to do his job in suspending a child who assaulted my daughter. My kids know that I will always be there for them, they also know how to handle situations and they know that if they are causing a problem they will be held accountable.
She is a little kid and you are her mother...help her through this...whatever it is.
The boy may not be DOING mean things at the bus stop, but he may still BE the mean boy who does mean things elsewhere... ON the bus, at school, etc.
Talk to her. Something is going on that she hasn't told you details about.
Is hitting you par for the course with her, if she doesn't get her way? If my child hit me for ANY reason, there would be red flags all over the place. It just isn't something that goes on in our family. So, is the hitting abnormal, or just the not wanting to get on the bus/not wanting to go to school?
Have you asked her to point out the mean boy at the bus stop? Everyone is automatically jumping to a bully on the bus, but I, at least, don't have enough information to take that leap.
Ask her to point out the bully and then do the role playing suggested below so you will know WHO he is and WHAT he is doing. Then take it from there. It very well could be that she just doesn't like taking the bus.
Is it someone ON the bus?
