School Bus Stop Problem/property Damage

Hello M.,

this is one of those situations, where you can be right or you can be happy...
And you are right, these kids damaged your property and their parents should be responsible for compensating you, so you could find out their names, demand your money, make all parents on the block hate you ....

Or you choose peace of mind, knowing that you are right, fence your property and arrange your landscaping in a way that it won't be easily destroyed.
My experience in dealing with difficult neighbors or their children or in our case pets is, that it is a lot easier, faster and less stressful if YOU make the change, instead of insisting on them doing the right thing.

4 moms found this helpful

talk to the police department.Let them know that the children are vandalizing your property and ask them for their suggestions. Bus stop is not ON your property and perhaps the police wouldn't mind just sitting on the corner by the bus stop ONCE. We live in a small town,and the police are more than willing to come and tell the kids that they are breaking the law by damaging other people's property and trespassing. Maybe depending where you live that is an option. You could also call transportation for the school district and talk to them. OR put up a fence. Another option is to invest a day or two of going out to the bus stop and parenting the kids if they attempt to go onto your property. Other than that, if you don't know exactly who it is, then talk to ALL of the parents about the situation. You're not pointing fingers at their child, but keeping it general.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi M.,

I love to garden and enjoy all of the plants, trees and flowers that I've planted to attract wildlife to our yard so I can appreciate your frustration.

Fortunately butterfly bushes are quite resilient and can usually be cut back to the ground and grow back from the roots, so hopefully yours will come back.

I have to agree with the other posters who have recommended that to live with peace you will probably need to make changes yourself or your yard instead of trying to change the behavior of others - especially children.

Some families may be interested in other things and may not place a high value on their yard or landscaping so they may not understand how important it is to you. I know that most people I know aren't as interested in gardening as I am.

By complaining and asking for compensation you risk alienating your neighbors and their children. As others have suggested, they are more inclined to respect your property if you make friends with them first. You might want to invite them to your home for a neighborhood potluck barbecue or picnic this summer and use it as an opportunity to show them your beautiful yard and gently let them know how much you enjoy your shrubs and how important they are to you.

If every interaction with them is only to complain and reprimand them about their children's behavior they will just dismiss you as a cranky, unfriendly neighbor and they wont't be very motivated to help solve the problem.

A fence is a great idea or you could also try planting some very tough thorny plants like Oregon grape or barberry bushes in a hedge around the perimeter of your yard to discourage the kids from entering.

Oregon grape is a personal favorite of mine because it is a tough native shrub that I think is attractive. It is also useful to wildlife and has lovely smelling yellow flowers in the spring and edible (but sour) berries in the fall. They can be purchased very inexpensively from local county conservation district plant sales. Most county conservation districts are taking orders now for plant sales that occur in late February and early March.

I also suggest putting any prized or expensive new plants you buy in an area in your yard away from the bus stop to prevent the likelihood of damage.

I hope you find a peaceful solution to the problem that will allow you to enjoy your plants without making enemies of your neighbors.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.,

If I were the lady out there every day, I would attempt stop it before it starts. What I would do would be determined on the age of the group at the stop.

When possible you and your girls should personally go out to the bus stop in the morning (when they are all there) and make your presence known, introduce yourselves to the kids. Take inventory of all the kids, get to know their names. If you are going to be living there you may as well get to know who's in the neighborhood. Talk to them about your place and your plants etc.

Ask for a volunteer(s), someone to be the bus stop monitor (an older kid) ask the kids to watch out for the butterfly bush. If they see anyone hurting the bush to report it right away. You can offer a reward to those who treat your property with respect (cookies or small candy once a month is good) Educate them about how much the butterflies will need the butterfly bush for food this summer.

You may need to fence the bush so they can't reach it and tear it apart. Stake a (Butterfly Bush KEEP HANDS OFF!) sign in the ground (on the inside of the fence)in plain view of the kids coming off the bus.

The easiest thing to do is to dig it up this winter and relocate it to a different part of the yard.

Best of luck to you and your Butterfly Bush.

God Bless!

2 moms found this helpful

Call the school and see if the school police officer can be waiting at the bus stop before any of the kids arrive to talk with them and with the parent that is there. We had a problem at my son's bus stop with the kids throwing pine cones at each other and running into the street without regard to passing cars. I said something to the kids about it since I am the parent that is there everyday but they just gave me the "You are not my Mom look" and continued their behavior, these are elementary kids. Anyway, we all came to the bus stop one morning and there was the police officer from school, all of the kids made a perfect line and were very quiet, he talked to me first to find out what exactly was going on each day and which kids were involved and then talked to them, that was about 3 weeks into school and everyday since then those kids have walked to the bus stop and got in a line and they wait in that line until the bus comes. No more goofing off just normal talking.
I would call the school first before making changes to your yard, or starting a war with the neighbors, people are very touchy about their kids and usually can't handle knowing they do anything wrong.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.,

Ditto Tristan! I couldn't say it any better! The parents and community need to work together. Keep your faith by responding without anger. I do believe you will receive a positive resolution. Blessings, M.

1 mom found this helpful

I have had similar problems with my neighbor's kids. When I first moved in they were walking through my yard stealing my stuff and walking right into my garage. You're just gonna have to stay home during the time the bus comes and you're going to have to take their pictures, tell them they can't do that. Ask them where they live and where their parents live. If they won't tell you just call the police on them because kids these days are out of control and don't have any manners. Don't take sympathy on these kids. It's sad to have to yell at other people's kids, but that's just the way the world is these days. Kids like that are called bebe kids.

1 mom found this helpful

What I might do is talk with all the neighbors involved and see if there might be a way you could all take turns monitoring the bus stop so that the kids are all being watched. This would be a way to meet some of them and try to make friends with them. Kids need supervision for a long time even if we think they are old enough to do certaion things! Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

I would put a mini-fence around the butterfly bush to discourage kids going through it. Then I would put a sign staked to a pole "DO NOT PICK THE STEMS". I saw a yard in Palo Alto which had lots of beautiful roses, with the sign of 'DO NOT PICK THE FLOWERS'. Some people don't know how to behave.

Either that, or be out there for a couple of weeks, policing your yard until the mischief stops. Tell the kids the rules for your front yard. Give them a treat for listening.

1 mom found this helpful

M. - Is there a reason that you are not outside when the bus comes to let the kids out? Are you both working? If not, then I suggest one of you be out there when the bus stops. That way you can see who the kids are.
Second, you didn't say what lady you had talked to, but you could also try and call the school district. Explain the situation and ask if they can move the bus stop. The bus driver and parents can not do anything about where the bus stops.
You didn't say how old the kids were that are getting off the bus, are they elementary, jr. high, or high school? If they are elementary I don't see anything wrong with going to the parent and speaking with them about the problem. If they are older, I would go to the house and speak with the child AND the parent. Let them know that your bush has been split, that it is your property, and that you would appreciate the child not going on your property. I don't see anything wrong with having an open relationship with your neighbors. They may not even know that their children are behaving like that.
I don't know if I would make the kids pay for a plant. It seems kind of petty. That may make enemies with your neighbors. It's up to you though. I will say if someone came to me and said that my son had broken one of their bushes, it would be my son that would pay back with his weekly allowance. Maybe be open to that. The child paying you back with allowance or time spent in your yard helping out. BUT, I think a lot of people would roll their eyes about a plant being busted (not me, and I don't even like plants!), so be ready for that and how you would react.
Good Luck, L.

1 mom found this helpful

How frustrating! My little girls are close to the same ages. I agree with the other moms -- putting a fence up/contacting the bus barn to see if an alternate location is possible/contacting the police on their non-emergency number to see if an officer can talk to the kids are all great ideas. And maybe you could approach some of the kids who live closest to you, after school at their house, with their parents looking on: "We're new to the neighborhood and we're having a problem with some of the kids hurting our plants. Can you help me by letting me know who's causing the problem? I really need to let the school know who's causing the problem, or the police if the problem persists." Word will spread between the kids.

But I also agree with the other moms who think it may be wise to make an appearance from time to time -- don't be afraid to put that wee one in a baby front pack and take the 2-year-old by the hand so these kids can see you care about your property. Or perhaps your husband can help out if he arranges in advance to come in to work later or not at all that day.

God bless!!

1 mom found this helpful

This sound like a situation that will only get worse. I first would call the police department non-emergency number and get an officer to come out and take a property damage report. I would then call the school, and every parent of every child that uses thar stop. Its probably too late to get them to pay damages for what has already been done, but you can be very clear about future damages. There really is a way to be kind but very firm. You can say something along the lines of " I undersatand they are children, but even the youngest children can learn about respecting personal property." I would then explain to them that you have filed a police report and any future damages will be handled by the police. You may have to put up No Trespassing signs, but at this point sounds like you need them. I know you don't want to start a war with your neighbors , but I have to tell you, I would be horrified if my 2nd and 3rd grader were acting that way. So maybe your neighbors need a wake up call :-) Good luck !

1 mom found this helpful

From the time they leave their home to get to school it is schools authority. See if they can help. Granted it will really help if you know which kids it is. They are not going to correct all of the students at the stop and one day it maybe one group and another day it maybe different. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Go the to Transportation dept of the school district and explain your problem. Tell them you want the stop moved. I know this can be done. Don't negotiate.

1 mom found this helpful

Bus stops are very difficult to move and it isn't as easy as just putting it across the street. I would talk to the school and/or the school district transportation department, and they will know which kids are at that stop. Ask if they can contact the parents, since I'm sure they will not release the names, and remind the students not to destroy property.

You may also want to contact your local police department and ask for a patrol car to go past the stop. Plus just you or your husband out there will help deter the behavior. It will have to be more than just one day, but several.

I doubt you'll get the bush replaced since you don't know exactly which kid damaged it, but you can prevent further damage.

1 mom found this helpful

I think that it would be helpful to get to know your neighbors. Then you're not a stranger complaining. You're one of them. Could you have a simple "house warming" party. Call it something else so they don't feel that you want gifts. Make it simple. Have coffee, tea, soft drinks, and if you drink wine/beer have that too. Serve crackers and cheese, chips and dip; something simple.

We have a politician in our block. They give parties a couple of times a year, sometimes more often. She walks around the blocks on both sides and personally invites people. After she gets to know us (I've lived here 30 years and most of the neighbors are long time residents) she'll slip an attactive invitation on the screen door.

It may be hard to get up the courage to have a party. But if you can do it I think you'll find it worth while. One advantage is that the parents will see the damage.

If you don't want to do the party visit with one neighbor at a time. Invite them over for coffee and cookies. Knock on the door. If no one is there leave a note saying you want to get to know your neighbors. Give them a date and time and a phone # to call.

It is important for one of you to be outside when the bus stops. Once the kids know you as friendly people they will be less apt to damage your property. Always start out low key when they are being good. If you know which kid did something ask to walk them home and then talk with the parent or babysitter in a calm non judgemental manner. Present the situation as a problem that you'd like help resolving. If a parent is not home leave a phone # for them to call you. Ask for their phone #. Be cool.

How old are these kids. In my neighborhood there is at least one and usually more than one parent waiting for the bus. Perhaps that's who you talked with. Make friends with her, express displeasure but not anger if you are able. She probably knows other neighbors.

The buses in our school district are contracted. They would be who to talk with about changing the location of the stop. I doubt that they can change it to be across the street because they are not going in that direction. Kids have to be let out away from the street. The route may not be able to be reversed.

I've seen bus drivers reprimand kids as they got off the bus. A talk with the driver before or after his/her route might help.

Putting up a fence with a gate for your driveway does sound easier.

Depending on your neighborhood you may or may not get parental co-operation for paying for the damages. It's more likely that you won't.
If the damage is over your insurance deductible you could file a clain.

1 mom found this helpful

I would suggest trying to call the bus garage, the number should be in the government/school section of your local phone book, and explain the situation to the dispatcher there. Make sure to explain what is happening and that there is property damage involved. Most likely scenerio would be the bus driver would be able to find out who the kids are and the problem could be solved without having to confront the kids yourselves. If that doesn't work, I would approach the principal of the school the kids go to. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

CONTACT THE SCHOOL!
I remeber when I was younger there were problem children at my bus stop and one of the neighbors called the school.. they brought all of in the principal's office at the same time and it was handled through the school.
It shouldn't be your responsibility to try and contact these parents individually!
Hope that helps, and good luck.
Thanks,
Cori

1 mom found this helpful

once you know the name of the school, call them and tell them everything including the names of the kids once you get them from the bus driver. Even if you do not get the names from the bus driver, call the school and give them the bus route number which is on the bus (normally by the door so the little kids do not get on the wrong bus or the bus driver can give you that immediately or the neighbor can since her kids are on the bus.). Also get from the school the phone number for the transportation department (they set the location of the bus stops). Tell them the everything and see what they can do for you. Kids who ride the bus are supposed to adhere to a bus rider "code of conduct" which includes staying on sidewalks and not going on private property. My kids school will punish the kids when they find out they are going on personal property. Good Luck. I doubt if you will get anyone to pay for damages since each kid will blame the other and you will never find out who exactly damaged the bush.

1 mom found this helpful

Call the school district and tell them the problem and ask them to move the bus stop or suggest that they pay for all the damage. this will probably speed them into action.

1 mom found this helpful

For sure contact the bus company (many schools don't operate the buses anymore). Tell them your address and the dates of problems. Also document the days you've spoken with the bus driver. You could also tell the school and give them your address so they are aware of the problem, but the school has no jurisdiction over such an issue.

1 mom found this helpful

Find out who their parents are and go straight to them. Don't worry about making enemies with your neighbors. The bottom line is that their kids are vandalizing and trashing your yard and they are responsible for their kids actions. If they can't handle that, they are not worth trying to be friends with.

1 mom found this helpful

I was a public school teacher for years so I have heard of similar incidents. First, you should call the school district and complain. Then, you should file a complaint with the police for the property damage. The school district can then contact the parents of the kids at the stop and tell them that having bus service and the stop is a priviledge, a priviledge that can be revoked if the kids responsible are not turned in and the damage does not stop. Then the PARENTS will be responsible for transporting their students to school each and every day.
Good luck!

H. Pacheco

1 mom found this helpful

I agree that getting to know your neighbors is always a good idea. That said, you might also want to contact the school principal for advice and support. This could be a good teachable moment to discuss with children and schools sometimes notify parents across the board to be aware of what occurs at each bus stop. Bus drivers could also receive a directive to remind children as they get off the bus about respecting others' property. I am hoping that your neighbors will step up the plate. I know I would want to know if my child or others were damaging property or annoying neighbors. I have to wonder where these children's parents or caregivers are.

Best of luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

I hear your disappointment. We have the same problem. The kids rest while they are waiting sitting on my door steps and throw their garbage in my garden. Every year the kids are different. What helped is me getting up and waiting for them to step in my property and than I would go on the porch and ask them politely and firm to step out of my property. I need to do that few times every September until they learn. Good luck!

I have to imagine that if you approach the parents with the problem, that they will likely understand your position and be responsive with their kids.

I suggest also trying to talk to the school about it. Perhaps they can help or would be willing to move the bus stop to a different location.

Good luck!

Have you called the police? It is damage to your property. Other than that I would walk out there when they are waiting and watch them. Or look out your window so they can't see you and then when they do something you will know which ones it is for sure.

The school district has an obligation to move the stop if it is causing problems. Talk to someone. You should not have to put up with un-ruly children on your property.

Have you tried talking with the school about this? Maybe they could send letters home to all the parents in this area saying that there have been reports of property damage to residents. Maybe they could move the bus stop to a different location.
Otherwise, it sounds like you're going to have to get up out of bed to monitor the situation.

I would call the school district to see if there is an alernative location...also, should this have been disclosed by the previous owners??

I had a similar situation. Call the school and go from there . They may contact the parents and talk with them so you so not have to be the bad guy!