27 answers

School Bully

My child, who is 15 and 140 pounds, was beaten by a 200 plus 6ft football player. They started out joking and the bigger child got mad. He broke my son nose, fracture his teeth and jaw bones. My first instinct was to call the police. The school did not even give him medical help. We have to have a CT Scan done and surgery to repair his nose. They just asked him if he needed something. The other parent has not contacted us at all. I could press charges but they school and the police said the other parent could press charges to and they both would be picked up because my son hit him back. I feel it's unfair that we are stuck with medical bills and the other boy only gets 3 days alone with my son. The bigger boy has returned to school. My son is still out and under the docter's care. What do I do.

To answer soom of your questions, I spoke with the principle and he could not and would not assure me that my son would be ok if he returned to school. My son has begged me and his dad not to send him back to this school. I have cried, gotten mad, angry, frustrated and blame my self for not calling the police when I walked in the office. Now I'm ready to legally fight. I am trying to locate a attorney in Jackson, MS to take my case. I told my son he may be picked up by the police, if the other parent press charges but I would be there to bell him out.

Now from my understand, there were 3 boys playing on the Thursday before the fight as they were getting ready to march in the homecoming parade, my son, another boy, and this bully the boys started playing. The bully hit my son in the mouth, playing supposly, and the other boy jump on the big boy back. My son kick the big boy and ran. From my understand everyone just laugh about it until some of the other football player told the bully, "Man I wouldn't let him get away with that". The school boys were going to take them back to the school and the parents had to pick them up. My son was not aware that the bully had already told the other boys that he was going to get my son when he got on the bus. I called my son and told him if he had his book bag not to get on the bus and just meet me and we would go home from there. He wanted to ride the bus with his team and was not aware that he was going to be beat up until we recieve the school report from the principle after the fight.

We have given our contact information to the school to give to the parent but he has not called. Someone suggested a attorney to me and I contacted his office only to find out he's out until Wednesday, Nov 12. Ladies thank you so much. Even though I'm married, I feel as though I'm going through this by myself.

3 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

We tried to press charges only to find out that Hinds County handles things different with youth. We called the Hinds County Youth Court here in Jackson, Mississippi, since they would be the ones handling the case. We were told since the school suspended both boys, the court will not get involve because they fill that that would be double punishment for the boy. The father never called us back and we were advice to just file charges againist the parent to help with medical bills. I asked if this happen again then can we file charges, they said only if the school don't get involve. That's why bullies can keep doing what they do here in Mississippi.

Featured Answers

I know that you will not want to hear this but I would press charges. This is the only way that the other child is going to learn that he can not go around beating up other and not having to deal with the consequences. I said that you would not want to hear this.
Good luck

More Answers

J.,

You need an attorney asap. Your initial consultation will be free of charge. You need to press charges against the school for not enforcing mandatory Anti-Bully laws. You also need to press charges against the child who has done this to your son.

Here's the catch: if your son hit the boy FIRST, you have no case against him or the school. If your son did not throw punches until AFTER the beating began, then your son was within his legal boundaries to attempt to protect himself through self defense because he feared for his life.

I do hope for your son's sake that he did not throw the first punch. You do have legal recourse, and you need to take action immediately. Many attorneys will answer their phones on Sundays. If not, leave messages and they will return your calls tomorrow.

Good luck with this. If you need anything, do not hesitate to message me.

A.

1 mom found this helpful

i would call the police and file a report. this is just terrible, i am so sorry for your son and for you. you have to stand up for him, because if you don't, no one else will. nothing may ever come of calling the police, but you son will see that you stood up for him and he doesn't have to be abused. trust me, stand up for him, God Bless You!

You need to go speak with an attorney immediately to find out what needs to be done. They will guide you and let you know what rights you and your son has.

I would put him back in private school or homeschool.

My husband was bullied a lot in middle school, and after a while it got so severe that his parents pulled him out and home schooled him. The school never got involved in terms of disciplining the other kids. So my husband home schooled for a couple years, got his GED, went to nursing school and graduated with his RN (two year degree) at age 19. You may consider home schooling as an option for your son's educational needs. (I'm reading up on it right now - a couple books called "The Homeschooling Handbook" and "The Well-Adjusted Child" give some very helpful information about how to get started, legal issues, and socialization.)

As for the incident at hand - the school is looking out for themselves. "Zero tolerance" policies are a joke, because they punish kids who defend themselves, which is absurd. I'd say talk with the other parents, keep detailed records, make a police report, talk to an attorney, and if necessary press charges. Taking it to the press may also be a good idea, but think about the pros and cons of that approach before going that route. (Get legal advice.)

that's a tough one J.. I think I'd start out by meeting with the parents of the other boy first without the two teens. Then after the adults chat, add the boys to the group and discuss it with them. Sounds like boys beig boys then getting out of hand. I'm thinking the other parents would want to know. And if you present it well you may find they respond favorable offering help with the expenses along with an apology from their son. Hopefully it goes that well for you.

Good Luck! God Bless you and your family. In the very least, this will be a lesson well-learned by your son. ONce again, if you present it well to him so he understands this is the consequences of his own actions along with those of the other boy. You could always insist he pay some of his own medical expenses from his allowance, if he recieves one each week. That's another idea for teaching him to make better choices about how he plays around, etc. just a suggestion from one who wasn't there to truly know what happened and how it all escalated.

D.

Hi, I'm a single mother of 2 boys 9yr. old and 5mnths.I understand your pain. The school is telling you that because they know that they could be held responsible. I have a friend who went thru the same thing if you press charges they should pick up only the other kid because you press charges first and your son had to seek medical attention and I can bet you that his parents would be responsible for those medical bills.If it been happened and you feel it's to late let them know that you was confussed and did know what to do because of what the school told you and you also need to call and talk to the school board. If you let them get away with it they would try it on someone else. I will pray for you and your family.

I would file a police report. In some states, there is a self-defense clause that negates the "he hit back so it's a wash" theory. Louisiana has one.

In Louisiana you can contact your local Families Helping Families office to learn more about the state regulations and get advise on how to proceed based on your circumstances.

Find the office near you at www.fhfla.org

If this was a public school in EBR there is supposed to be a zero tolerance policy and the bully is supposed to spend some days out of the neighborhood school and in the discipline center. Depending on the school--even if it were self-defense. IF you child was defending himself he cannot be charged but you should be able to press charges and get expenses paid by the parents of this child if you file a lawsuit. THere was supposed to be a discipline hearing also involving the school and the discipline committee downtown and you and the children. I think you can ask for one but your dean of students will be there defending the actions of the school. IF the principal can get away he/she may be there, too but most often the DOS will do this job. If your child was simply defending himself, I certainly would get a lawyer's advice.

I know that you will not want to hear this but I would press charges. This is the only way that the other child is going to learn that he can not go around beating up other and not having to deal with the consequences. I said that you would not want to hear this.
Good luck

Call the football coach immediately and ask him what he's going to do about this. Don't be surprised if you NEVER hear from his parents. Our public school has a No Tolerance system and the other boy would have been expelled. If you fight back, you are suspended briefly (I don't like that rule, but!). Call the school principal and ask what they will do to make CERTAIN this doesn't happen again. I would put LOTS of pressure on these folks who mentor and are responsible for our children's safety. Don't try to explain to them why it happened, just WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO TO MAKE CERTAIN IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN? Just sit quietly after you ask this and see how they respond. You mentioned it started out as joking but you don't say how it blew up into this type of fight, other than the larger boy got mad. Get free legal advice. Call the School Board. Don't stop yet.

I would follow through and press charges or sue the other parents or the school district for the medical bills. It seems like the school shares some sort of responsibility for not seeking medical attention. I am a firm believer that we as parents are our kids advocates. If you don't fight for him them who will. The other parent may not be aware of the your child injuries since the school did not provide medical attention. However, I will try to contact the parent before I get the law involved to see if they are willing to pay for the medical bill.

Well, you saw what the public school had to offer! Not every school is bad. My son is a high school teacher and his principal puts up with no nonsense. The halls are quiet and the kids are orderly. However, I wouldn't send my kid to a place where he is in physical danger. Either private school or homeschooling sound like safer options. Meanwhile, chalk it up as a learning experience. I'm sure your son will make it a point not to get into fights after this. And it could be worse. Be thankful that your son wasn't the bully who won!
S. B.

Talk to a lawyer ASAP! From what you wrote not only is the bigger boy the agressor by throwing the first punch, but the school was negligent in helping your son with his immediate medical needs. Your son fought back in self-defense and shouldn't be punished for it. I hope he heals quickly.
J.

As a parent of four yoiung boys I am sure one day I will be dealing with close to the same situations..... so I had to lend an opinion! Honestly if I were you I would talk to a lawyer. Find someone who would be willing to do a free consultation, so you do not cost yourself any more money than this ridiculous child has already. There has to be a way that you can make the child's parent responsible for the medical bills. You may have to press charges and let your son go and bail him right out, then after you all go to court have his charges dismissed. There would be no way I could look at my son in that condition, then not take action. Also if i were you I would check into seeing why the child was only suspended. I know when i went to high school in Chalmette, if you hurt someone really bad, to the extent of your child, the other child had to be expelled. GOOD LUCK!

I read a few of the other comments and agree that you should at the very least contact an attorney. The other child should be responsible for his actions, especially if he instigated the fight. Schools are under so much pressure to not have bad publicity, that they all too often try to sweep such incidents under the carpet. I taught school for 10 years and think that the lack of action from the administration is shameful in this incident. It sounds like the school is trying to scare you into being quiet. Keep protecting your child!

Hi! You have recieved some great advice here! I would also like to add this: If you are not receiving any satisfaction from the other parent and the school then maybe consider contacting the local newspaper and your local news channel. If they contact the school for a comment on their policies then maybe they will be forced to really look at them and change them! Good luck, I hope your son is feeling better, and may God bless and protect you all!

Like the other person said as long as your son didnt throw the first punch you are well within your rights to press charges. You also have the right to take the school up on the issues as well. Also contact the school board and let them know what has happened.
See a lawyer ASAP. Also if your son knows anyone who saw the fight have him write those names down to hand over to the lawyer so you can have witnesses.

The first thing I would do is file charges against the boy who hurt your son. Then I would file a civil suit against the boy's parents and then maybe you can get some satisfaction. I understand that they may have started out joking and I realize that your son hit back, but that does not give the other kid the right to pummel him. Make sure that you get copies of all of the medical records, as well as pictures of your son's injuries and get written statements from the school and police as to what they have done and said to give to your attorney. You may want to include the school to get their attention and let them know that you mean business and expect them to protect your child from being bullied and harassed as well as other children in the school. You should also ask your son if any other child has had this happen to them by the same kid and talk to those parents as well. If you can get enough parents involved then you can win. Best of luck
G.

PRESS CHARGES!! This shouldn't even be a question!! Was the other boy harmed? Your son MAY get into trouble for hitting him, but NOT if in self defense!! I would go to a lawyer, but YES press charges!!

I would recommend a protective order that the school has to enforce since it is a court. Your son should not have to feel threatened.I must say I'm very dissapointed in your school. I would contact an atty.

Pray for the other boy and family. He has serious anger management issues. Have you counseled with the school counselor or with your pastor? As you pray for the other family, seek the Lord's direction as to what steps you should take. Ask him to soften their hearts, and make them willing to help cover medical expenses.

I said a prayer for you...God is able...He never fails.

Wow, this is a tough situation. (how's that for stating the obvious?)

My family just moved here from S. Florida. My son started high school here as a senior and had a rough go of it in the beginning. Teenagers are so self centered and don't reach out to anyone new.

Is your son friends with this other boy? Have they known each other for a long time? Do you know his parents, even just a little?

I would contact the other child's parents. Give them a chance to discuss what has happened. If they are non-responsive, then I would take it to the school administration. Did this happen on school grounds? If so, the school is liable...especially since they did not provide your son any help at all.

If you feel very strongly about it, I would consult an attorney, not one of the ones who will sue at the drop of a hat, you know some of them see the school and a lawsuit as easy money, which as you know, it will not be. The burden of proof would be on you...school's these days, especially public ones, are so slow in their responses, they have to make sure they have not opened themselves up to being sued.

I understand you and your family are shaken and it is not right that you alone should bear the medical costs.

What was the fight really about? I would dig a lot more into the incident and try to speak to the other child's parents before you do anything else.

I hope this all turns out okay. Good luck. Feel free to write me back. This is our family's first encounter with public schools. The ones my children attend are all 'five stars', but we have not been that impressed.

Hi! hope all is well, I would say speak with you an attorney and see what he thinks, even if u must move ur child to another school. I would hate for Dr. bills etc. to be pinned on u. take care..

Did the other boy suffer any injury? To what extent? The degree of force used against your son versus the amount of force that was inflicted upon your son could be very telling as to the intent of what happened. S.

Since the school didn't follow through with the incident, I would contact your school board member. Your child should have been given medical attention. As a paramedic I have gone to many school fights. A child has a right to defend himself. Get all the info you can on the incident, ex: witnesses, everything the school wrote on the incident. Then go back to the police. Fight for your child. He is getting the short end of the stick. Good Luck. I hope all turns out well for you.

Wow!

Unbelievable. I can tell you from experience that bullies are usually bullies because they learn it at home. I don't think the parents will be reasonable. Contact a lawyer. I think you should press charges. (I agree that you should find out as close as possible what happened, I've also learned to be open that my kid might have brought some things upon herself - not to say that a physical retaliation, esp a beating like that is EVER ok, but find out if he was humiliating the guy)

Good luck, I hope he feels better
~K.

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