School and Kids!

C.,
There is no specific answer. I went to school full time for two years, I had a two year old too, sometimes I would be at the computer writing my papers with him on my lap! It is hard, but I always was thankful that I didn't have to work full time out of the house! That would have been so much harder! You will get through it, try to do as much as you can at night or when the kids are napping!
G.

Is there another mom in your area that could take your kids 2 days a week for a play day so you can study. Then you could take her kids on full day or 2 half days so she can do the work she needs to get done.
Babysitter out of the home is the best choice.

Hi! I am so glad you wrote in, because I am in the same situation! I am a wife and mother of four kids ages 3 to 14. I also work 23 hrs a week and take two classes working towards my RN. Then I teach catechism on Monday nights. I only seem to find time to study late at night and on the weekends. The only way I know how to juggle is to take a realistic look at what I can accomplish in a day. I only do the house work that absolutely has to get done for the family to function, i.e. clothes, dishes groceries. Then on my few days off I will dig in and clean bathrooms and dust etc. I figure that I have no choice, I have to do what I have to do, and if other people don't understand my messy house then oh well. My time is better spent studying and quality time with the kids. I will devote at least an hour of one on one time to each of the kids each week and more on the week ends. This is time where it's just me and them. Then I read books every night with my little ones. I also utilize time at the park and play areas to do more studying. No more long phone conversations. Summer is half way here and there will be more time for fun then. Keep going and don't give up! It will be so worth it not just for you, but your husband and your children in the long run! One more tip, get a crock pot and have meals prepared the night before and slip them into the crock in the morn.

Good for you! Hang in there! I commend you on going to school to become an RN. Full time schooling is the same as having a full time job, except on most nights, you do bring your work home with you. I was once a divorced single mom who worked part-time and went to school full time to get my Bachelor's--it took 2 years, was challenging at times, but in the long run was worth it. I got alot of help though from family and friends who would entertain my daughter on the nights where I had to study for exams. Things around my house like housework, didn't always get done on schedule, but I prioritized what needed to get done and what could wait. I spent as much time with my daughter as possible--thank goodness for semester breaks! I don't know if you can do this, but here's something I did: maybe talk to your college counselor about scheduling some less time consuming courses with harder courses so that you are not so bogged down every semester, if that's possible. I've found that schools are more flexible with students who have families as opposed to younger students. Can you take any online classes at home? I'm assuming that you have another 3 years in nursing school, so next year your 2 year old will be 3 years old and possibly able to attend preschool and your son will be in elementary, so that will open up some more time for studying--maybe then take more time consuming courses? I used to meet with my school counselor every semester and to come up with a schedule that was more manageable for me. Try to set aside an hour or two every night just for family time--sure you may not be able to do it every night, but make an effort to do it as much as you can. I always played board games with my daughter in the evening. At least when she won, she was happy, so mission accomplished! Having said all that, it is a temporary situation that will lead your family to a better life. Nursing is such a great field because you are helping people and it opens the doors to so many opportunities such as care management nursing, hospital nursing, and home health care nursing just to name a few.

Hope this helps! Good Luck.

C., I suggest you get the most out of studying (craming) by doing it at school or at a library. You'll get twice as much done away from the house (laundry) and kids. Don't be shy--ask everyone you know for help--with housekeeping, childcare, picking up milk or a few groceries, etc. If you can get to bed at a decent time, get up very early--you can get a lot done before everyone else gets up. Just find ways to use every minute possible wisely. Always keep a 'to-do' list daily, weekly, and monthly; and make sure you are accomplishing the tasks--prioritize them on the list too. Don't give up! K. S.

C.,
First of all let me say, good for you!! What an accomplishment that you have even started this process. I am here to tell you that it is going to be tough but you CAN and will do it. I went to school full time when my daughter was little. Actually, I was pregnant with her while in school then went back after having her. I have been in graduate school now since July 06 and God willing, will graduate in Apr 08 with my MSW.

This time around I have two children. The most challenging part for me is keeping up with the housework. Somehow I have been able to manage doing homework after the kids go to bed unless it is some major project, then I go to the library while my hubby is at home with the kids. Going to school and having kids requires a lot of letting go. By this I mean, you are not going to do everything perfectly. Something has got to give. One thing I can suggest is to simplify.

I used to hate "wasting money" on paper products. But, now I find it is worth my peace of mind. I buy paper plates and cups and that is a time saver. Give your 6 yr old some simple responsibilities such as emptying bathroom garbage or picking up toys at night in the living room and give him an allowance. He might really like it. Also, I find that if I make a point to spend some special time with my daughter (8 y/o) she is a lot less likely to feel slighted. But, just know that there may be times when everybody feels like they are not getting what they need or they are tired of you being in school etc. This is when you regroup, reprioritize and move forward. These times will pass.

The last two years have been hectic and crazy and on a few occasions I thought about dropping out of school but I am so glad I stuck it out just 2 1/2 more months to go (but who is counting). I also try to keep in mind the example that I am setting for my children, especially my daughter. I have talked to her about why I am going to school and how it will enable me to do what I want to do.

Be creative and make the best of it. Once you let go of having to "do it right" things will fall into place and you will find what works for you. Think outside the box. Your kids don't have to know if you are stressed and throw togethr hot dogs and chips for dinner. You can make it fun and have a living room picnic (although my 2 yr old usually runs away when I have these). I know I am babbling but I hope this helps. I would love to hear how your journey unfolds.
M.

What I have done to juggle it all and make sure everyone is happy is this ... I get a sitter for my younger one at least a few hours a week and leave the house to do my studying. It is amazing how much more you can get accomplished in a space of time when you aren't looking at the dirty dishes that need to be done ... and all the laundry piling up!! Not only is your studying time more effective, but your mom time is too!

Good luck to you ... and just remember ... it won't last forever!

I've been in school since my oldest was 2 weeks old. Now she's three and her brother will be one next week. I'm a full time nursing student and it is very hard, but worth it. I mostly study when they go to bed at night. If I need to "power study" I go to the library for a couple hours while my husband or mom stays with the kids. Honestly that doesn't happen very often but if I really need that study time we make it work.
I feel like my son doesn't get as much attention because he's younger. He stays up a little later than his sister so that's our time together. It is really hard to give individual attention, let me know if someone ever figures out the perfect solution!

Hi C. I know how you feel on this subject.. I am a single mother, I work full time and commute about an hour for work each way, and I am in school half time. When I begin to feel overwhelmed I take a short break on studying or cleaning etc and just try to free my mind and relax. I picture the future or just being on a beach hearing the waves and having the best cocktail. I use my "study" time when he is in the tub, watching his favorite show, sleeping and also on my lunches at work. Education is so important and it may not be easy but your child with respect you so much more when they know the trials you overcame to get wherever you end up. Good luck :)

Is there a young preteen in the neighborhood who can come over after school and be a mother's helper, keeping the kids out of your hair for an hour or so while you study? Also try to involve the kids in your work and chores; say "mommy is studying now, so let's get out your books so you can study" or "it's time to help moommy pick up". The 6 year old is plenty old enough to help around the house, setting the table,putting away his laundry, picking up toys, etc.so use him to your advantage!

Hi C.,
I totally emphathize with you since I was in the same boat a year ago. It is one tough job. Here are some things that I did which seemed to help:
- Took short naps while my younger child slept in the afternoon. This way, I could study at night after the everyone in my family was asleep.
- Some days, if I was really tired I would go to sleep early and get up at 4 am and study.
- Weekends, I made it a point to keep Saturday evening open but study on Sundays during the day. I would leave my kids with my husband for a couple of hours and go to the local library and catch up on my assignments.

Last but not least, this was when I learnt not to get too upset over a messy house. Because I knew I could not do everything all at once. Something had to give and at that time my priority was my family and my studies.

Hope this helps.

Hey C...

I tried to do the same exact thing and it was very tough. Especially when you start to do clinical's. Just remember to think of all the benefits you will have in the long run. Your family will be (i bet they are now) proud of you. Try taking online classes. Good luck!! I ended up giving up and promised myself I would go back next semester when the kids started school. It has been almost a year now and I still haven't gone back. Stay strong!

I was a mom of five, working full time and going to school nights to earn my BA. Hard is hardly strong enough to describe what you are going through. My children were older which was easier in a way than your situation. Without my husband taking over the housework, I could not have handled it. He liked doing it, as his mother worked and he and his sister always took care of the housework. But he is a rarity. Have you considered taking not more than three courses at a time-part time, particularly until your youngest child is easier? Get your requirements out of the way before taking your clinicals. It may take twice as long, but whether you take a full load or part time, you will live those days one way or other anyway. What difference how long it takes as long as you are moving forward, unless you absolutely need the money work would provide?
If your husband doesn't like so much responsibility,(and really, its unfair to him to be made overly tired and tied up in work, work, work. Whether he complains or not, if he isn't liking it, there will be a toll on the marriage which will one day rear its retribution head. So be careful there.
Time is on your side. Just be patient and happy with smaller expectations while the children are so young.

I might add: When I went back to finish my degree, there were three of our children in college too. That alone was a challenge but we made it through. Took me about twice as long, but I took it in small goals so that I felt I was always accomplishing something. (You might want to go first for nurse aide, then RN etc.)

Here's wishing you well. They will always need nurses. Whenever you finish will be a life's accomplishment.Just take it easy on yourself and the whole family. God willing, it will all come in due time. Good luck!