School - Upper Marlboro,MD

I don't know how to ask this without sounding judgmental but I think it's important and will help you get better answers. The post that you wrote above is barely readable - is that because you wrote it on a phone in text-speak or does it reflect your own level of literacy? I ask this because if this reflects your own abilities, perhaps his performance in school is reflecting your own school experience? In other words, did you have the resources to make him ready for school and do you have the resources to continue to support him? Was he enrolled in pre-school? Did he have exposure to letters, words, books, number concepts, age-appropriate concepts of math and language? If your own educational experience was not great and you really don't understand the situation, is there someone you trust who you can enlist to help you out? Maybe someone who knows your son and the school who is someone you like and trust can get to the bottom of what's going on and help explain it to you so that you can make the best decision for him. When my oldest son was struggling in the early grades, another mom I know with older children was very helpful in helping me navigate the system, so to speak, and it's a common recommendation that parents going to school meetings (particularly for special education but this applies to any meetings) bring a support person with him or her because it can be overwhelming to sit there while they tell you everything that is wrong with your child and if you're shocked or frustrated or embarrassed, you might miss some of the important things that they are telling you.

Also, there are four months left in the school year and you don't have to decide now. Ask what, specifically, they would like to see from your son to demonstrate his readiness for 2nd grade and ask them specifically what you can do to support him as he tries to reach those goals. Are there certain behaviors they want him to display in the classroom? Do they want him to practice reading and writing at home, etc. They should be able to write down for you the areas in which they are concerned, how those deficits are measured, and what you can do to overcome those. If it's just a matter of helping him get into gear and mature a bit, perhaps that can be accomplished in 4 months. If not, then at least you know what they are measuring and will have a clear idea of why they recommend holding him back.

Good luck to you, and again, I hope that I didn't come across as judgmental, especially if you posted via a device that does auto-complete or makes you hit shift to put in punctuation, etc. I hate writing anything with my BlackBerry because it invariably comes out almost unreadable!

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Tell the teacher and the principal that you are holding them accountable for any shortcomings that your son might have and that you expect to have them bring him up to speed by the end of the school year and , in addition, you want them to prepare a package of work (with a schedule for you to follow) for your son to do over the summer that will keep him fresh and engaged and on task with the other kids!!!!

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It sounds like his classwork suffers b/c maybe the teacher puts too much emphasis on speed and not quality or he just has a fear of being the last one done (I would think it was brought on by something the teacher implies, Maybe anyways). It doesn't sound like he's not lacking a grasp in anything except fear of finishing last. Maybe you should change his school, if talking to the principal and telling him what your son said doesn't work.
I always wonder about the maturity reason because if that was the case, a lot of high schoolers I went to school with would never have made it out of 7th grade lmao.

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I would be very hesitant to hold him back as you already held him back for one year. It seems like there is something going on in the classroom that isn't quite right. Your son has decent grades yet they want you to hold him back. You need to find out specifics. If it is his maturity level, I say no way hold him back. All kids are different! They all learn at different paces. They all mature at different paces. I would set up a meeting with the teacher to get the specifics. Then, set one up with the principal. If this is an advanced school, is there a "normal" school within your school boundries. I have several friends who have kids in the "advanced" public school and it is a lot harder than a "normal" school. One last thing, how does your son feel? Does he have friends in class? Does he like school? In first grade, they should still like school. Good luck!!

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I have a son that age who struggles too. I homeschool him and work with him everyday. I also had a daughter who struggled too. I would suggest you keep him in and work with him at home if you don't want to pull him out. He'll catch up eventually. My daughter finally got it around 9-10 and my son is finally catching on and he'll be 8 in May. If reading is a struggle, it makes school so much harder but that's okay. All kids read at different times but they all (usually) get it eventually, like potty training or walking. He just needs extra practice at home. Read to him every day for 20 minutes. Have him practice his sounds and words at home. Just a few minutes each day. Make flash cards for him. Just take 5-10 minutes each day to practice his flash cards, words, sounds, etc. Good luck!!

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I'm usually FOR retention when necessary but he's too old. Get some specifics, Questions to ask, why do they say he doesnt understand the importance of school?
Does he ask good questions during discussions?
does he ask for explanations when he doesn't understand something?
If he is only one book behind that isnt failing, can he talk about the books he reads?
Maybe this isnt the right school for anyone who cannot teach themselves.
What has the school done to help him?
What has the school asked you to do to help him?

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the dilemma about when and how to promote or retain a student is such a pickle. i don't agree with social promoters (academic standards are already practically non-existent and thanks to NCLB completely dependent on inane testing) but just holding kids back and then not giving them the help they need is counter-productive.
why are you asking *yourself* what concepts he's not getting instead of asking the school? THEY should be making this very clear to you.
the fact that he's racing to put down answers rather than reading through and being encouraged to comprehend fully is a huge red flag to me.
if homeschooling is an option, i highly recommend it. if it's not, you have to sit down (not confrontationally!) with his teachers and principals and MAKE THEM help you understand what SPECIFIC challenges they see your child struggling with, what SPECIFICALLY they feel you as his mom can do to reinforce the teaching, and what SPECIFICALLY they are doing to help him as an autonomous individual.
good luck!
khairete
S.

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doesn't understand the important of school uhhh? Sounds like they are almost of the mind set that school would be a great place if it wasn't for all of the students. Some are self starters and some people are not. Plain and simple.

Here is what to look for. If they say he doesn't do something well but then you see no evidence of them teaching on that then move to a different school
If you know the teachers at the next grade level and feel confident they will do things just a little different that will encourage him to have a different attitude then stay in that school

As far as holding him back...his grades are there and improvement has been made; they seem to know they can not hold them back on their own which is why they are suggesting it to you. Not sure what motivates teachers to do that. How is his relationship with other students?

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Get a copy of the modules the school uses. Is he at the first grade level or behind? They may say he's behind but he may not be according to the state of Maryland. Every child has a right to education and if your son is behind then he needs ot be evaluated for an IEP or some other intervention.
THey have to accomodate his needs in his class. If he's in first grade and now 7 that is where he needs to be.

How do they know he does not have a learning disability? I would write a letter to the principal requesting he get a full core of testing for eligibility to an IEP. The school will then have 5 days (I believe, check you state) to respond with a Consent to Evaluate form and then 45 days to test him after receipt of your form. Or have him tested on your own, since school testing is done by people who have to work at that school and in my opinion schools do not want to find anyone eligible for IEP (I am biased after trying to get my daughter help for 2+ years now). I am not sure if you are the mom I have answered before who is dyslexic, but if you are then there is a high chance that he is. My daughter has dyslexia and non attentive ADD and she can read at class level but has a really hard time spelling and putting her thought on paper. Early reading problems are common and that is why dyslexia is often not found until the curriculum involves lot of reading to learn, not just learning to read. There is a great website for learning about dyslexia. http://www.dys-add.com/
They list early signs, how to test for it, how kids with this can be taught, etc. My daughter is in the Very Superior IQ level but struggles in school. Get him some help and you may have to hire a Special Education Advocate (we did and are probably heading into mediation and perhaps arbitration to get our daughter on an IEP with Orton Gillingham reading instruction and a structured writing course). Good luck, feel free to contact me directly if you want more info, but it does vary somewhat by state.

Don't hold him back again. If he is already 7, having him repeat the first grade at age 8 would be a problem. I think the school is not doing a good job at reaching him. My daughter is in first grade and their report grade does not have letter grades (not until 3rd grade), just progressing, mastered, and not achieved.

Saw you were considering homeschooling. Also concerned about the teacher's and principal's suggestions to hold him back. What if he's immature still at age 8? Are they going to keep him in 1st grade indefinitely? Have you looked at Montessori programs? There is a public school Montessori program in Oxon Hill. Also, not sure which school you're currently in, but you might be able to request moving to another classroom. Holding a child back who is passing and already started school at age 6 might not be a good motivation technique. Have you also tried positive reinforcement? Boys sometimes need incentives, like read 10 books and we'll go to Chuck E. Cheese or LOL; pass this class with an A and we can go to Six Flags. Straight As, earn a $1 for each A. Sounds like your son has ability and is competitive (you wrote he didn't want to be last to turn in his paper). You might get his attention if there's a benefit coming his way....

If the principal approached you about this, then he/she is genuinely concerned about your son. I would set up a meeting with the principal and/or teacher and let them know that you are doing this so that you can better understand their concerns and expectations. They might be able to give you suggestions so that he is completely at grade level in time to advance with his class. They might have concerns that can be addressed over the summer. Right now, you needed to better understand where they are coming from. My SIL is working in a public elementary school, and she said they are very hesitant to retain students. My guess is if they are talking to you about this, they have some valid concerns that you will want to understand and address. Please ask to meet with them.