M.S. asks from Ventura, CA on March 02, 2009
Schedule - Ventura,CA
I have a eight month old. He is my second and quite different from my first. He has started fighting me when going down for his nap. He use to go down without a peep. He know is fighting every time. I don't know if I need to move his nap back to 9:30/10:00. He gets up at 7:00 and was going down for a nap aroung 9:00. I don't want to over tired him too much, but I just don't know what to do right now.
I was wondering if a few of you wouldn't mind sharing your eating and sleep schedule. Thanks. I don't like hearing him cry and having such a difficult time falling to sleep.
We have a set routine, it is the same routine we have been using since he was 4 months old. When he is crying, I go in every few minutes and pat his back until he goes to sleep. But the first few times I go in, he is standing up and refusing to lay down. I go in about 3 or 4 times until he calms down and falls asleep.
I thank you so much in advance for your advice.
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M.B. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
Ben's almost 8 months and he's just moved from 3 short naps a day (9am, noon and 3pm) to 2 naps a day. Recently he was fussy at his 8:30am nap, so I pushed it back til 9:30 and now he's happy again, and he sleeps longer for his morning nap.
His schedule is:
6:30/7am - wake up
7:00 - milk and then solids
9:30 til 11:00 - nap (I always prepare him for his nap by reading to him for 10 minutes in his dark, quiet bedroom, cuddling him til he is relaxed, and putting him down drowsy.)
11:00 - milk
2:00 - milk
3:30 - nap for 30 minutes
5:00 - solids
5:30 - bath
6:00 - milk
6:30 - to bed
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S.H. answers from Honolulu on March 02, 2009
Ditto Deanna Leigh.
Things to do & keep:
(1)your routine... ie: pre-nap and pre-bed. But allow some time for him to unwind before you actually put him down to nap. For me, it takes about 1/2 hour to unwind my kids, before they actually go down to nap. For me, I make everything dark, make everything quiet pre-nap/bed.
(2) try pushing his nap back to about 9:30....or 10:00. But try it in 1/2 hour increments first.
(3) give him a good feeding before hand.
Things to keep in mind:
1) at this age, and when they are developmentally changing or hitting milestones, sleep patterns DO change. It's a phase. It will go back to normalcy... but you need to be patient. ie: your son is now pulling-up to standing. THIS is something they do because it is a developmental instinct and 'new' ability...so it DOES throw a wrench into their 'ability' to fall asleep. Once they get used to their new 'talent' they will even out. He is NOT 'refusing' to lay down.... at this age, they DON'T KNOW how to put themselves back down into a perfect prone position to 'sleep' again, like an adult. So, you have to help him.... it's par for the course. Any new "ability' they have, requires you to help lay them down again, unless they can do it themselves. This can be repetitious and they will 'stand' up again and again. It's just their 'instinct' and how they 'learn.' Its normal. THEN... later he will know how to sit down, then lay down.
2) Whenever a 'new' motor-skill develops or a new cognitive ability or separation anxiety, or milestone occurs, this throws a hiccup into their sleep 'ability.' Sleep patterns are NOT static in babies nor children nor teens. It changes. All the time.
3) Rule out the typical, ie: teething, gas, hunger, poopy diaper. These can wake any baby.
A 'schedule' I've had for my son, who is now 2.5 years old:
7:00a.m.= he wakes
10:00= morning nap for 2 hours
3:00p.m.= afternoon nap for 2 hours
8:00-8:30= bedtime
In between that, is his meals and play/activity time.
My son, since I"ve had the same routine for him since a baby, is so used to it... and he is like 'auto-pilot' with naps/bedtime now. He does not protest about it. He will in fact even tell me if he is tired and wants to nap, and then will go about getting in his 'routine.' During any developmental changes or inability to nap... I just push his nap back a little. Or, if he cannot nap (which is rare), I just take him out of the crib. Then, he will nap at his next nap time. So, you also have to be flexible, but while keeping to a routine about it....
My daughter, who is 6 years old, has also napped in the afternoons at the same time as my son... because I have the SAME routine for BOTH of them. They know it, and they don't argue about it. Thank goodness. I think because it is such a 'normal' routine for them.. and I have done it with them all this time. But for my daughter now at her age, if she cannot nap or does not want to, I don't push it... and we just have "quiet" time.
No routine will be perfect everyday... but if you keep to it... and allow for temporary changes... it will still provide stability in your day and their naps. Which is important.
The main thing is, is to 'cue' into your baby... and try to put him to nap before they get over-tired. My son goes to nap at a certain 'time' because I "know" that that is when he gets tired.
You don't have to have baby cry it out... or cry to fall asleep. Just going in at short intervals to reassure him is fine... but if he ends up 'not' being able to nap.. .then take him out, and maybe 1/2 hour later try again to put him to nap. He's probably just changing.
All the best,
Susan
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J.N. answers from Los Angeles on March 02, 2009
My boy's routine is different now that he's older, but back when he was eight months, it was approximately the following:
6:30am - wake up
7:30am - breakfast
9:30am - bottle 7 quiet-time
10am - nap
11am - wake from nap
11:45am - lunch & get ready for daycare
12:30pm - drop off at day-care
Now, I don't think he was kept on a schedule at daycare, it was more like, whatever he felt like is what he got. In general, because he'd eaten at home, he wouldn't be hungry when the others were getting lunch at 12:30pm, so he'd play around with the others. At 2:00pm, they had to pickup schoolkids, so he napped in the car until about 3pm, when they got back to the house. He then ate with the big kids during their after-school snack and we picked him up at 4:45pm. At that time, if was hungry he'd get fed in the car on the way home. Sometimes he hadn't napped becuase of all the excitement and at 4:45pm he'd go down for a quick nap, usually until about 5:15-5:30pm when we got home. At home we'd have playtime and/or dinner, depending on whether he ate or napped in the car, then at around 7pm he'd get bath. This took anywhere from 10-45minutes, depending on how much he wanted to play in the water, whether he was okay with drying his hair and how much he'd allow for tooth & hair brushing. Usually by 7:45pm we'd be at the book-reading phase, quietly playing in his room, then at about 8:30pm, he climbed into my lap so I could sing him his prayers and that was it.
Hope that schedule helps you figure some things out. One of the things I learned was that his schedule was changing every 3-4 weeks, and they we'd cycle through some schedules. Nowadays, he's on 1 nap/day for about 1.5-2 hours, and bedtime at 8-8:30pm.
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T.O. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
Hi M.,
If your son is fighting it that much, then try moving it back. The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) says that infants need to coltrol their own schedule. hey should be fed when they are hungry, and allow themselves to sleep when they feel the need. This allows them to grow into their own schedule. Every child is different, but as your son grows he will push his own nap tme back, and then eventually cut naps down to once a day. I remember the frustrations of finally understanding my sons schedule, and then they would change it. Hang in there, you are doing great having a routine, but maybe it needs to be tweaked along the way as he gets older.
M.B. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
Ben's almost 8 months and he's just moved from 3 short naps a day (9am, noon and 3pm) to 2 naps a day. Recently he was fussy at his 8:30am nap, so I pushed it back til 9:30 and now he's happy again, and he sleeps longer for his morning nap.
His schedule is:
6:30/7am - wake up
7:00 - milk and then solids
9:30 til 11:00 - nap (I always prepare him for his nap by reading to him for 10 minutes in his dark, quiet bedroom, cuddling him til he is relaxed, and putting him down drowsy.)
11:00 - milk
2:00 - milk
3:30 - nap for 30 minutes
5:00 - solids
5:30 - bath
6:00 - milk
6:30 - to bed
W.L. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
M.,
I would spread his naps out to 3 hours from the time he wakes up and give him a bit more of play time until he needs to lay down. Also, you probably need to start to just leave him alone once you put him down for his nap. I know it is heart wrenching to listen to his crying but he has learned that you will come back to him because of his crying and you need to break the cycle. It seems to me that after you have come back into the room 3 or 4 times to calm him, he is more than likely just finally too exhausted to cry anymore and finally passes out. So re-train him...read him a book (or as many pages as you can before he becomes disinterested :) ) to calm him before nap time then lay him in his crib with his favorite small stuffed animal (so he has someone to talk to), give him a kiss and tell him it is nap time, then leave. And do not return until he wakes from his nap. At first he will cry until he falls asleep which may take a while but after just a few days he will know that nap time means nap time and Mommy is not returning until nap time is over.
It will get easier for you and he will start going down easier without crying. I had to do this with my daughter who just turned one and it worked perfectly. Now when I put her down for her nap she may cry for just a minute or two, then she will just sit in her crib talking to her dolly until she falls asleep. Sometimes she will even talk for a half an hour before finally falling asleep but she is still getting quiet time by herself. As long as I know that she is safe, not hurting, fed and has a dry diaper I just resolve that she is fine even if she is crying and just give her her space.
Good luck!
W.
R.P. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
It sounds like it may be time to adjust your schedule. His sleep needs are not the same as they were when he was 4 months. My daughter is 7 months and also wakes up at 7:00. She doesn't go down for a nap until 10:30 or 11:00. She seems to do well with 3 to 4 hour wake sessions before napping. I would suggest pushing his nap back a little at a time and see how that changes his reaction.
Good luck! I know it's not fun, my daughter fought sleep for the first 5 months.
E.N. answers from San Diego on March 03, 2009
It may just be a short phase. I have a 13 mo old, and she is on the same schedule. Up around 6:00-6:30 in the morning and back down for a nap around 9:00-10:00. But htere have been weeks where things were different. My husband always says maybe she is having a growth spurt. I know that makes no sense withthe nap schedule...hahahaha. Eight mo old, he is probably learing and exploring so many new things. Be patient and i am sure things will return to normal soon.
M.T. answers from Los Angeles on March 03, 2009
M.,
Maybe he is trying to tell you he does not need that morning nap anymore. Try going a few days with out it and you never know his afternoon nap might get longer.
Good Luck
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