Scarey Phone Call at 4Am

I am perplexed as to why the husband let her go on this 'rampage' and not try to stop her? It almost sounds like she needed to be committed at the time. Maybe if her husband would have taken that step than she could get have gotten the mental help that she needs. Does he not think she has a problem or does he enable her to continue this way?

Her husband might want to see what it would take to be evaluated in her own home vs going to an office. Definitely a concerning episode.

Her husband needs to man up and get her the help she needs. You've posted about her troubles many times before and there's not much you can do. HE needs to find out what he can do to help her, especially if she's unpredictable like this. I guess you can do what you can to light a fire under his butt so he can take care of his family.

Added - Susan S. is spot on. You know, a lot of these diseases run in families. Before you say "what goes around comes around" because you are sick of your sister, you should think about the possibility that this might end up happening to you. That was really a cruel thing to say and if you think about how you would feel if someone said it about YOU, it should give you pause. You really should change your attitude, because you don't know that one day someone will be talking like this about you next.

Original:
C., this sounds far too sudden to be Alzheimers. You all should get her to the hospital and have her checked for a stroke. There is a vascular dementia that is not the same as Alzheimers, but I don't think it would manifest itself to such a degree so quickly. You gotta get her to the hospital. Don't delay - with this sudden bizarre behavior, she might do just about anything that could hurt her or others.

Good luck,
Dawn

After the update. This may sound a little harsh but I am saying this to get your attention.

YOU are enabling this continued behavior and her lack of seeking help.
Obviously her husband is not going to do anything. I do not understand why you can take the time to post all of these things about your sister week after week and then update, but still have not just called the State and find out what the options are.

Tomorrow morning first thing CALL> Tell them this is an emergency and you are concerned for her safety.. Explain that the husband is clueless and you need answers.. Explain to them what you have told us..

IF you are not willing to do this and want the calls to stop.
TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

We can give you advice, but if you just make excuses, there is nothing else we can really do,
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How old is she?
Is she married, have children?
Obviously she does need professional help.

I would call the mental health services and find out the best way to help her.

She could hurt herself, but even worse is if in some way she could hurt someone else.

I would get on this ASAP.

What does her husband suggest? As far as the 4 a.m. phone calls, I would suggest that perhaps if something like this happens again, that rather than try to convince her of the lack of urgency b/c this is old news, that you treat her like a small child and reassure her that you will handle it and call the appropriate people. That she doesn't need to call anyone else, because you'll take it and handle it from here. Then you can speak with her in the morning/next day (like today) and see how she is and talk with her about it when she is more lucid.

But seriously--talk to her husband. He may have some techniques that work, or have learned some things that exacerbate things to stay away from doing. And maybe you both might want to consider seeing someone yourselves, to discuss how YOU can most appropriately/helpfully react when something like this happens in the future. If she won't go, then go for your own benefit to ask what methods to use in dealing with her.
Good luck.
Sorry you are having to deal with this.

Seriously you have posted post about your sister week after week and have gotten a lot of good advice. Have you done any of it? All you do is cut down your sister. Instead of posting here, why don't you take the advice that all the people have given you, and apply it to your sister needs? I think it is really a shame how you can put "what comes around goes around"? I would never say anything like that about my siblings (I have 5). Yes, we are all different, but i wouldn't wish that on any of them!!

Your sister is in need of serious help, her husband needs to get her that help this a slippery slope she is falling deeper and deeper these things escalate what is he waiting for? She could become dangerous to herself and others then what? Seriously it is family meeting we need to help her time before someone gets hurt!

C.,

You write in your SWH, "she is isolated with just baby sitting her grandson...."

Seriously? Someone allows her to watch a child???? I don't know how old her grandson is, but she is in no condition to be babysitting a small child, if her condition is as bad as you report it to be.

Her medical and psycholgical conditions cannot be diagnosed without proper evaluation. Talk to her husband and come up with a plan. Call social services and the state mental health hotline. Give them the information and ask them what the next step would be. Laws differ by state in terms of involuntary commitment, so you have to see what the rules are in the state where she lives.

If she called the hospital and police, there must be some record of their response, at least the police response. Follow up, and get any available reports. You may need them, if at some point in the future you go for involuntary hospitalization.

In the meantime, do what you can about keeping that child safe. Social services may need to be involved on this front, if no one else in the family will step in and stop this, and that might be your avenue to get her to the help she needs.

Best to you and your family.

J. F.

She needs to see a doctor immediately. She needs to go to her regular medical doctor and probably get a referral for a neurologist. Sadly, she may have started the descent into Alzheimer's disease, but they can test her and tell. However, she may be having mini-strokes that disorient her or she may have a brain tumor. Seriously- she needs medical attention NOW. What's going to happen (and you need to have this conversation with her husband present) when she has an "episode" and does something that harms herself or someone else? That's not uncommon.

You have posted 4 or 5 questions about your sister in the last month. Everyone keeps giving you advice but honestly, unless your sister is willing to do something herself, there really is nothing for you to do. Good luck.

I would talk to the hubby. He is the person with her the most and needs to decide what he is going to do. He is the person most likely to influence her, to get her to do some testing, he is the one that has the choices to make as to "making" her do these things but using his authority as her next of kin. He can even have her committed for 72 hours if he can get a doc to sign off on it. He can ask his own doc to do it and explain what is going on. She doesn't even have to be part of it.

If she is taking any medication he needs to make sure it is under lock and key, well, he needs to put everything up like she is an adventurous toddler. If she is truly starting Alzheimer's she is not able to discern good choices.

Call mental health services. She could be a danger to herself or others.

What's up with the husband? This is his responsibility not yours. If a person can take care of themselves they do. If they can't first in line for decisions is the spouse. You are there to support them.
Talk to the husband ASAP!

Does it somehow make you feel better to always be pointing out how crazy your sister is and how bad her grandson is?
You are the one with issues.

If she is contacting the police and it is not a real emergency you may have the authorities take control of this situation before your family does. It is illegal to call the police for false reasons. If this continues and the family just lets it keep happening, they may force y'all to do something.
D.

She may not want to see a therapist, but will she allow you to take her to a medical doctor, for a check up, where you can discuss your family history and her current behavior? I would be afraid your sister will hurt herself or someone else. I'd call your own doctors office and ask the staff what resources there are for adults who need this type of help, but are too sick to seek it themselves. She may have to be institutionalized against her will, as you say she will never seek help on her own. All my best.

She unquestionably needs immediate help even if she seemed perfectly fine the next day.

You and your other sister need to see the husband today and get him 100 percent on board with getting her evaluated immediately, not next week or next month. He must, must, must be part of this; she may be likelier to listen to him than to siblings, frankly. He may be so used to her being "eccentric" that he says, "Oh, that's just X having one of her off days," but he needs to be woken up to the fact she's obviously ill, if he's not already aware.

If she is aware herself how long this went on, and that she called the hospital and the police, she still has some lucidity. You and her husband need to talk with her in a lucid time and tell her that this concerns you so much that he has ALREADY made an appointment for her (then tell her the date and time). He must take her and stay the whole time; ask if she wants you or the other sister there too. One appointment won't be enough, either; she may need an initial one but do not let it stop with a general internist just throwing some medication at her -- get her to a psychiatrist and/or see if she needs to see a neurologist.

Don't assume this is early-onset Alzheimer's, though of course the doctors should be told about your mom's Alzheimers. Many other things can cause this kind of episode -- bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, even severe dehydration. And I've seen my Type 1 diabetic mother-in-law say and do very out-of-character things when her blood sugar was crashing. So get everything checked out.

This is truly the saddest post I have read in a long time. She definitely needs to be evaluated.......I would say all you can do is encourage her husband to encourage her to see someone. AND LOVE HER>>>>LISTEN TO HER>>>>AND HUG HER.

You really need to find out how to get her some professional help! I agree with AV you may need to see if someone can come into her house or maybe even your house to evaluate her. It shoulds like she could be bipolar or manic depressant. My mother had multipl personalitys and I did not know till I was in high school but I learned different ways to handle her. As you may have with your sister. I had to learn to read body langauge her voice and all kinds of other stuff. I was the one that was trusted. Which was a lot for a teen. If she has children for their sakes get her help sooner than later.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

Her husband needs to get her into a memory care center before something serious happens. No one can predict what the next dellusion she has will be. She certainly sounds like s omeone who should never be left alone. Talk to her husband. There are stries daily of people with memory issues going missing or worse.
phobia or no phobia, saefty for all should take precedence.

I would find out what the requirements were in your county to have her commited. With my GMIL she had altzhimers and dimentia and it took having her commited for her to understand just how far gone she was and that it was appropriate for her to be in a nursing home. If you are concerned I would see if this is a route you could/should take.

Dementia is way worse at that hour. I'd do several things. Talk to her about it now (she may have clearer thought), talk to her husband about it and call mental health services to see what they have to say on the matter. I'd also make sure that the police and hospital are informed of the situation that happened last night so they know just in case no one else has.

I'd talk to the husband about arrangements where your sister will not be alone, for starters- work together as a family on this.

I hope for the best for you.

My Grandfather had it. After a certain point, every night at 9p, he would stand up, say I'm ready to go home. Put his coat on. His care provider would take him to the car. Drive around the block for 5 minutes and come back home. He'd walk in and say 'Good Evening ladies, how have you been?' and sit back down into his chair... If you argued and didn't take the drive he would get very upset.

My hubby's Aunt is going through it right now. She's to the point where she fights with my 5y over baby dolls and toys...they just started getting the help from Family Services this month because they didn't know if was available.

She needs to see a dr. Has she ever had a sleep study? My mom went through something similar. She had a sleep study. Turns out she has sleep apnea. Once she started on a cpap and got the symptoms under control, the episodes stopped ... for now.

As for the phobias and such, if she has a hubby or older kids, they can control Family Services in her county. They would be able to provide people that would come sit with her day or night whenever was needed. To help prevent episodes like this.

I would call her husband. Even if he does not love her, he should realize that if she is delusional, she could be a danger to him, herself, their grandchild that she watches (!!!! that is scary). He can go through legal channels to have her declared as unfit (not sure the terminology), and then could get her evaluated.