Scared About Kindergarten - and My Son Is Only 3! - Dallas,TX

Updated on September 13, 2011
L.D. asks from Dallas, TX
8 answers

My son has a May birthday. I am a former teacher and know that little boys with spring and summer birthdays often have a hard time their first few years in school - they wiggle and move and are immature and the early grades are so rigorous now that children are expected to sit more and focus more than they did in the past.

I get reports from daycare that he is having a hard time sitting in circle time, participating in group activities, etc. At a birthday party at Little Gym, he kept trying to run off and do his own thing. At soccer, he mostly does not participate but chases bugs and looks for snacks. None of these things would worry me because I know kids develop and mature at their own rates, but I am so scared about kindergarten!

I work with him every afternoon, after I pick him up from daycare, on seat work type activities (counting, sorting, rhyming, patterns, etc) , trying to improve his focus. Still every time I hear about a parent who is keeping their young son home an extra year, or sending him to two years of preschool, I feel panicked! Will I need to keep him home an extra year? If not, will he be in a class with boys over a year older than him, whose moms kept them home, and will he also be the little immature one?

Moms - have any of you felt like this? What did you do? How did it work out for your family?

Additional Info: I feel that my son is a normal little boy - but that due to his May birthday, and the increased demands of Kinder, 1, 2. he will have a hard time. I do NOT think he has autism, aspergers, a sensory disorder, etc.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your ideas. I do need to relax a little and just wait and see. Thank you.

More Answers

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Ahhhhhh because you don't have enought to worry about NOW? You are working with him...he's got a bit of maturing to do yet. There's a lot of difference between a 3 yo and 5yo.

Why don't you sit down make a list of the issues and what you would do should they occur. Worst case scenario: I'd do this. Next scenario: I'll do this. Map out and have a plan. You can decide closer to the time of K if you want to keep him out. You can work w his teachers in pre K and K to see if he's ready for that next step. If he has a hard time he can repeat K. It's going to work out Mama!!! Why are you stressing yourself??

2 moms found this helpful
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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

Keep him home for another year. It won't hurt him in any way to have an extra year without the pressures of school. When I was teaching I saw waaaay too many little boys who were put in pressure situations when they were just too young and it can be harmful to them. They begin to think of themselves differently. And nothing is worth that when waiting another year will make a world of difference. The hardest thing about parenting is learning to trust and listen to that little voice inside your head.
VickiS

2 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like you have a wonderfully spirited little boy who is curious about the world around him! I think you have the right idea about putting him in a mom's day out program or a pre-school prior to deciding whether or not to hold him back. He will eventually get used to the structure, have more skills in communication and sharing, etc. He may also do very well in more of a Montessori environment, where they encourage his great curiosity. But, every child is different and I don't believe the decision should be made to hold him back or not until just prior to Kinder enrollment. We waited to make it until our son turned 5 (July B-day). We did decide that he was ready to enter K. He has done great! He is now in first grade, in the Gifted and Talented program and excited about school!
Try not to fret, Mom (easier said than done). You have a couple more years to see how he matures. They go by fast and you'll be amazed at how much he is going to change! God Bless

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

L.,

It sounds like you have a very normal, active three-year old boy! He will mature a great deal over the next two years and he may surprise you with how much more able he is to sit still and listen by the time he turns 5. If he doesn't, then you can make a decision about whether to wait another year. I, also am an educator (24 years) and I've known lots of moms who have struggled with this same issue. None who chose to wait have regretted their decision, but I have a good friend who dearly wishes she could go back and keep her son out of school for that extra year. Let that precious little guy be little....it may seem like a long time right now, but these days will be gone before you know it. He has many years of school and adult life ahead of him, but only a few short years to be a preschooler. Enjoy this time and teach him that learning is FUN! That lesson will be much more important than whether he knows his letters & numbers at this age.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.F.

answers from Dallas on

My son turned 5 this year he could have started school, but I noticed a few years ago he just wasn't handling some situations well. So I held him out this year. But yours is just 3 and you have him in daycare and you work with him so who knows in 2 years you will have a better idea.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The thought I ALWAYS have with questions like this is why expect them to fail before they even get the chance to succeed? Kids have a huge mental growth spurt during their 5-6 years. They go from being a pre-schooler to being a student. I think let him go and see how successful he might be.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son was the same way. But is a June baby. We could not aford to keep him in daycare another year so we went ahead and put him in school. We did however choose to hold him back in second grade. Maily because of his eyes but have not regreted it at all. What ever choice you make will be a good one. And he will change a lot in the next two years as well.

Good luck and God bless!!!

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

I held my daughter out a year because she was still immature and frightened of new things. The next year when she did go to kindergarten, she was a bright, attentive student. She continued throughout school to do well and graduated with honors from high school, and from a leading university. So, take it easy, Mom. He'll do just fine. Give him time to mature and if you feel he isn't ready for kindergarten, keep him out an extra year.

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