November 03, 2010,
J.M. asks from Fort Worth, TX on July 05, 2008
SAHM To Working Full Time mom--Tell Me About Your Transition
I am wanting to hear about your transition from SAHM to full-time working mom. I've found I'm a much better/happier/positive/energetic mom when I'm working, and have been thinking about plunging in full time. The part-time thing at night is getting old, and I feel like I spend the whole day preparing and not doing such a great job caring for my kids/keeping house/making meals, etc. After I teach (Which I love), I come home excited about my job and even more about seeing my kids. So, tell me about your experience.
And tell me about transitioning the kids to full-time day care. I think I've found an awesome preschool for my older son, and am starting to look for my younger son. My 2 year old is very clingy and emotional (I guess most 2 year olds are), but he is soooo ready to be with other kids and doing activities and running around and I'm ready for him to do that too (and even if I don't end up going to work full time, I'll probably send him there part time anyway)! and my 9month old is as cool as a cucumber. He'll adjust quickly I think.
And one more thing--Guilt is my part time job, so if you have any pep talks about motherhood and working full-time, bring them on!
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J.H. answers from Dallas on July 06, 2008
If you have a positive attitude about it all then the wee ones will to. Babies feed off moms emotions. You have been working in the evenings so it sounds like to me you have started the transition process. If you make your mind up now and get the kids in something now while you are not in school then maybe you can put them in a half day the first day and then work your way up to the full day. (if thats what would help). But babies are tough and all transition. Some take a little longer than others but it will all work out great. GOOD LUCK!!!
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S.L. answers from Dallas on July 06, 2008
i congratulate on what is doing what is best for the entire family. if mama isn't happy, nobody is happy! i was unemployed for 4 years and miserable. working part time (2 days, 2 nights) is a good start for me, but i'd love to work full time, especially come fall when my youngest is in preK 4 days a week. i think i would be a happier mama too if i had my daytime job then came home! my kids have adjusted fine to daycares or staying with family or my husband when i'm at work. they know realize that i am not the only one who can cook/clean/do laundry/go grocery shopping. that is a huge thing for the kids to learn! LOL we are a team and everyone has their jobs, be it at home, school or at work.
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K.C. answers from Dallas on July 07, 2008
Good for you for thinking about yourself first. Everyone forgets that when they are a mom, they need to worry about themselves as well as their family. I stayed home when my first child was born until he was 8 mos. old. When he turned about 5 mos. I started to get really really bored. Money started to become more of an issue, and I couldn't stand to be around myself. My husband travels, so when he would come home and want to just be with us, I was ready to get out of the house, because I had been stuck in there all week long. It was a hard transition to leave my child all day long and only spend a few hours with him at night. It is so worth it though. My time that I do have with them is much more precious now. Now I have 3 month old baby girl, I took 2 months off when she was born and she is in daycare where my 2 year old is. They both do well. I can tell my daughter has become a much happier baby since she started there. I think kids need that social interaction, besides their parents. My pep talk for you is, remember that you are J. first and foremost, before you are a mom. You have to take care of you and make sure you are happy so that your kids can be happy. Your kids don't look at it as mommy is leaving me all day long. They don't know any better. I think you have to make sure you do what is right for you and your sanity to be the best mom you can for your kids.
Good Luck with your decision.
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A.N. answers from Port St. Lucie on November 03, 2010
so I think I would go insane if I stayed home all day right now my husband dose and I work but I find it hard to stay on top of being mama when I come home and have cleaning and cooking to do and my husband is worn out by to highly active 2 year old. I've recently switched jobs and it has helped alot. keep your options open I was working crazy long saleried hours now I work alot less by the hour and I enjoy my job and my family more. It would help if my hubby would do the dishes more often but I've made dishes my wind down I can go into outerspace when Im washing the bowels but by the time I get to my knives I'm trying to find something to keep my son entertained, I give him his bath and read to him. I will say I do feel like I miss out on alot but this is the thing i keep on top. my husband and I are playing each others roles for now because that is the best thing for our family in this economey its easier to get a retail management job then a construction one and right now they pay better and are more secure. and my husband supports me by holding the fort down at home. Dont feel guilty about doing your job as a parent. do what makes sense for your family and don't forget who you are in the process because your kids will grow up wanting to do what they love too
C.M. answers from Dallas on July 07, 2008
Hi J., like you I knew I would be happier working than staying home full time. Our kids adjusted fine to being in a daycare setting, and because I'm happy, I enjoy them SO much more! I'm a much better mom because of the fact that I work. The most challenging part for me was dealing with the chaos of first coming home each day. Everyone wants mommy, and you have basically zero time to unwind from the work day. Once I finally figured out how chaotic this part of the day is, I implemented certain strategies to make it easier (i.e. we go outside first, everyone runs and they're not hanging onto my legs, or I sit on the couch with them and plan to do absolutely nothing for 15 minutes, etc). This seemed to work well so the kids knew what to expect when I first come home each day. I agree with what others here have said -- if mom is happy, the house is happy. Best wishes with your decision, you'll do great! Now my other secret weapon is running -- I must fit it in to relieve the dual stress of a demanding job and being a mom...even if I have to do it at 5am or 9pm, I fit it in a few times a week. You may find regular exercise will also help with the adjustment. Good luck!
C.H. answers from Dallas on July 07, 2008
Hi J.! Best wishes in the transition!! Sounds like you've done everyhting right - you tested the waters with the part-time job, you're praying for guidance, you've researched child care, and you've realized what balance you need in your life - way to go!! This is really just a "boost" response - I hope it all goes well for you and the family...transition is usually not easy, but that doesn't mean it's not the right thing. The best thing about this is that if it doesn't work out, it sounds like you still have the option of going back to being a SAHM. You're in a win-win situation! And, good luck trying to get rid of the guilt - I think it comes with the package!! You can't be everything to everybody (including yourself) and do it right every time! There are hundreds of pros and cons for being a SAHM or a WOHM - comes down to the right fit for you and your family. Best wishes!!!