51 answers

SAHM Or Make Money for Yourself?

My Hubby, has a work peer, that has a little mom and pop type store.
He said that if I "worked" there, it would be a nice opportunity for me to make myself some money... it pays an hourly that is about $10/hour.

While it would be nice to make some extra money for myself... my concern is:
I have an active 2 year old, and a 6 year old (which I have to take to school and pick up after school...thus, this is the daily scheduling needs), and my son has his nap schedule/routine, and his things to, which is a daily things.

Now, if I were working at this store, even if just part time and for 2-3 times a week... WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY SON? My Hubby thinks just taking him with me to the store is fine, and he can just hang out with me. (okay a shift would be about 4 hours). Okay... but then what about diaper changes, when he is tired and needs a nap, when he is simply having tantrums, or not staying put. You can't make a toddler STAY in one place all day. Not to mention all the other things involved.... even just going to the grocery store with my son is a HAND-FULL in itself, and he scampers away, I have to chase him, they touch things in the store etc. Usual busy toddler stuff.

Now, we cannot pay for daycare or preschool now... and I don't have anyone else who can watch him. AND, even if I am 'working' to make ME some extra money... then all what I earn would go back to having to pay for child-care for my 2 year old... thus, negating the point of me making a little money for myself. AND, if he does go to some kind of daycare anyway... then that is a whole other issue. Simply can't afford it.

So, to my Hubby, it's a no brainer... and the opportunity for me to work at his friend's store and make myself some extra cash, is simply no problem. He says lots of Moms do this, why not me? He does not think about what do I do then, with our son. It will be ME, who will be having to deal with this. And I know my son, he can be a ball of activity... and does not always have patience as most 2 year old are. I can't just keep him next to me in the store for that whole time, or is that just me?

Anyway, I was just wondering if my thoughts are common sense, or just not valid? And being a Man, my Hubby does not think of all these "details" having to do with my son....
My Hubby is not pressuring me or anything, nor does he demand that I make my own money (I have an online boutique anyway, but money from that is not consistent nor a lot). But he thinks I can watch my 2 year old son AND work in the store at the same time. To me, this is a handful and sounds stressful.

so, what do you all think? Just curious....

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

WOW, wow, wow.... I didn't expect such candid and plentiful responses! I like the idea of having my Hubby take my son to work with him... ha, ha. That is a good one... really. I am glad to know, that my feelings about this were not "off" and that I was not just being too anal about it. Sometimes, as a man, my Hubby thinks that it is all just so easy and I just "stay home" all day! (shriek laughing). Well, I told him I would think about it... but yes, you woman are all correct... it would be insane and unsafe, and inappropriate to have my son IN a store with me. I think I will print out these responses and show my Hubby.... (I know he wouldn't mind).
By the way, someone asked me for my URL for my online 'boutique'... so here it is: www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

It's really great to get a "second opinion" here on MamaSource... this is the best venue by far!
I appreciate all your responses truly... thank you all so very much! It so nice to feel 'validated' by other
experienced Moms... and know that I am not just doing this by 'myself'! :)

Featured Answers

Why can't you do both? I'm a SAHM and make money, most days still in my PJ's! I have the comfort of seeing every little mile stone my little ones make! I don't have to leave to do parties, stock inventory and it's with a A+ rated BBB business! http://www.contentmommy.com is how to find out more. We don't always have to choose one or the other! We truly have both!

1 mom found this helpful

I would say no way to the store idea. I agree, you cannot take a toddler to work with you and actually be able to work. I would wait until he in in preschool at least. Personally, I sell Avon so I can make money on my time around the kids schedules and I can take the kids with me to do that! Contact me if you'd like more details!

1 mom found this helpful

The money isn't worth it. Now that the kids are both in school I work part time and am there to pick them up. Daddy has morning duty. I unfotunately used to work full time and although the kids when they were younger came with me (I work in a preschool), the time spent there wasn't with me. I made myself feel better thinking they are just down the hall and I could see them when I wanted. but I wasn't there for when they needed me most. Even when my son was in my class he had to share me with 23 other kids. Devote this time to them while you can and work when both are in school.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I was going to say something exactly along the lines of what Chrystine said; let hubby try to work for a few hours with your son in tow. I don't mean to make light of your situation; I think you're dead-on that it makes no sense to work if you would end up paying more than you earn in daycare. And I think you're dead-on that trying to work a store and watch your son at the same time would be super-stressful and perhaps even dangerous. What happens if you're busy with a customer and he's getting into something he shouldn't be? Best of luck with your decision.

2 moms found this helpful

Um, taking your toddler to work? Is your husband out of his mind? That is the most insane thing I have ever heard. Your toddler will be running around all over the store, and if he is made to stay in one place, he will get bored and have tantrums. You may get busy with a customer and forget about him "just for a moment" and he may wander off, go outside, or someone may snatch him. That's just crazy. For $10 an hour, that is not worth it. Stay at home until he's old enough for school. Sorry to be so blunt, but no kid should be made to stay at a store, or anywhere else, while his mother works. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

If you don't feel good about it and it's not a need for your family, it's OK to say no to anything.

Or, if your husband has the type of job where he can take your son for 2 to 4 hours, have your husband take him in to work one day. Men really don't know what's involved in child care, and it might be a big eye opener that will cause him to appreciate you more. ;D

2 moms found this helpful

I don't know if you still would like ideas but if you do. Please check out the link below. Thanks.

A. Brewe
Proud Member of Internet Ceo Moms working from home
Wheeling, IL

2 moms found this helpful

Your thoughts are valid.

First, they're too active and if you didn't raise your 2YO ignoring him all of the time so that he knew to not bug you for his every need, then he's not going to know how to do that when you're working.

Second, it's not fair to your child. He deserves you to be Mommy when you are with him.

I work from home a lot, but I still put my little ones in extended daycare at school. It allows them to play and have fun in a safe supervised environment while I can focus on work and be productive.

Believe me, I tried it. Doesn't work. I've seen people do it but they've done it from infancy and I think their children were just used to having Mom ignore them all the time so they'd play on their own. Mine weren't like that.


2 moms found this helpful

Dear SH,
I am unique in that I work for a very understanding boss in a very flexible environment. When daycare calls and my son is sick, I do have the option to bring him in with me. That worked out well...until he became mobile. Now I figure I can bring him in for all of 20 minutes. It's not fair to me, my coworkers, my clients, or the work I'm trying to do.
So my two cents, send your son to work with your husband for a 4 hour shift and see how he handles it. When he responds that he won't be able to get any work done, or that his clients won't understand...You can respond in kind that it would be the same for this shop and its owners. Take it from someone who has tried it.
You also don't want to ruin this friendship of your husband's. Stressful work situations can cause problems with friendships...
Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

I think your husband should have the "opportunity" to take his two year old to work with him, or school, he could take his pick! Good luck,

2 moms found this helpful

Men don't think the same way as us at all.

You know your kid best since you already take him to the stores with you. Your right about more stress, because a 2 yr old is busy, and if they haven't been trained since birth then it is very hard for them to understand why they have to be good and not touch anything. 4 hours to a 2 yr old is a lifetime, and he will start throwing tantrums everytime he knows thats where your going.

My hubby has done the same thing to me, but we need the money. He has said that I need to find a full time job, I work from 6:30am to 11:00 but now till 12:30pm I did the 11:00am thing because my son was in Kindergarden, & then 1st grade came, I loved having 2 hours to come home and clean the house before I picked up the kids and did homework. Now I don't have time to do deep cleaning like I like it. But he doesn't think ahead, like : who will pick up the kids from school, I have one in each school (elementary, Jr. High & High school). They get out at 2, 2:40 & 3:30. So there goes my afternoon, approx 20 minutes before picking up the next one. And my youngest is the 2:00. If they had to walk which they are all walking distance but right before the 2 mile distance, so I would have to get a sitter for my son until my older ones got home. But my hubby doesn't want them to walk that far, which is fine with me. So how then can I work full time ? He already complaines that I go to bed to early 10:00 or 11:00pm I get up at 4:30 to get my oldest to bible study before I head to work. I'm not one of those people who can live off 5 hours of sleep so by the weekend I'm dead, I sleep till 9 or 10am then Sundays I nap and rest all day so I can do it all again.

Back to you though, if this is something that you are truely interested in then find a way. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves first. This makes us a better mom. And beleive it or not you will be more focused on your kids when you are their, because you don't want to miss a thing. The daily grind thing happens to us all. Is there a friend you can change some hours with? Like you watch her kids 4 hours on Tuesday and Thursday, and then she watches yours 4 hours Monday & Wednesday, then your hubby watches them on Saturday morning while you do another 4 hours. Or maybe if your kids go to bed early you could do a few nights a week, or dad could watch them and get them into bed. If you need extra money watch some kids after school or only when they are off track. I liked the off track thing. This way my kids had play dates everyday for the month, when I was sick of them and they were sick of us they went back to school. Though you only get paid for the months they are off of school. There are moms who need very little daycare so look into that. If mom needs someone to pick up the kids from school and they come home 2 hours later it's not bad. ( It's snack and homework time). Good luck to you, if you want it bad enough you will figure it out. J.

2 moms found this helpful

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