16 answers

SAHM And Husband Has Been Laid Off

Ladies,

I am in need of some advice and ideas and support. My background is this; we have two children, 5 1/2 and almost 3, I used to work before the kids were born and went to only Saturdays teaching art classes at a local art center. The center closed it's doors last summer, but we didn't really notice the pay loss ( I never made that much money teaching art ) We were doing okay financially on my husband's salary as a glazier. A glazier is someone who fabricates and installs windows in commercial and private buildings. So, blue collar for sure. Even though things were tight - most of the time living paycheck to paycheck - we loved that I could stay home with the kids. It was important for the both of us. Over the years we've learned to do without a lot of things. We never eat out. We don't take vacations. We don't splurge. We use coupons. We brown bag it. We drive sensible cars with few extras. We moved to a city with lower housing taxes. We look every place we can to save money.

Now my husband has been laid off. It's been four weeks now - I know others have been out of work even longer - but I'm having trouble not freaking out. What are we going to do? Now that we're running out of money, where can I turn? There are no jobs in this small town and my husband is now calling around the entire country to find work. He may have to travel up to 700 miles away for work. What else can we do? How do we keep our home? How do I keep food on the table? How do I stop this feeling of doom to overcome me? I know I need to be strong so I can take some kind of action, but I am so much on the edge of depression, I feel like I can't hold it together.

How are people coping with what is going on with the economy? How do they get out of bed each day? My children are the only thing keeping me from losing it.

Please, any suggestions you have would be enormously appreciated.

What can I do next?

More Answers

Big hugs to you. We went through this about 2 years ago. My husband had a nice job with a nice salary and then out of the blue he got laid off. It took about 10 months before he found a job that would support us. In the meantime he applied at Target, Best Buy, and various other companies doing whatever he could to bring in a paycheck. Groceries were our main concern, so we found a program through our church called AngelFood Ministries. I looked it up for your city and state and here is the number that you would call for more information: ###-###-####. You can also go to their website https://www.angelfoodministries.com/

Essentially you pay $20 or $30 and you get a months supply of food. Meats, frozen dinners, vegetables, fruits, eggs, milk, cheese, oatmeal, cereal. It helped us out a tremendous amount. We would still have to spend maybe another $20 a month getting bread and other items, but it cut our grocery bill a great deal! Because he was out of work and we had an infant (our daughter was 7 months at the time) I went ahead and applied for WIC. This enabled us to get tuna, milk, cheese, cereal, and some baby food items. I stayed on WIC for about 2 months, and then after he got a job making more than $15 they said we didn't qualify anymore. But I would definitely look into it!

I know it's hard, but PLEASE try not to stress out. If you are part of a church then I would also contact their prayer ministry and outreach ministry so that they can know what is going on with your family. I know our church has always been a saving grace for us in our times of need. Whether it's people praying for you or bringing you meals or helping with your kids, I would encourage you to find a church home if you are not already in one.

I am praying for you. I have been there and my heart goes out to you.

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Hey J. C.,

I'm sorry to hear that things went left on you for a minute here. I say a minute because I believe with all my heart in the ebb and flow of life. There are peaks and valleys and the one thing you can count on is that if you are in the valley, there's only one way to go and that's up. It WILL get better - life does - and you will look on this time in your life and, while you never want to go back and revisit, you will see how you pulled together as a family and how you are stronger and more assured than you were before. Crisis is the fire that tempers the steel in our backbones. You'll see. :)

Some things you can do:

Definitely apply for WIC if you can, and unemployment. Make sure your kids get the medical benefits that Ohio offers all children regardless of employment - I think it's called care source. Look into Angel Food. Apply for whatever programs and benefits that you can. Pride is an expense most of us can't afford and you can pay it forward by helping someone else when this is all over.

Plant a vegetable garden to insure food for yourselves even when money is tight. Go to www.pickyourown.org and find local farms in your area where you can pick your own produce and reduce the overhead for transportation and profit that you would pay at a retail store. It's also fun for the kids.

Take in kids to watch over the summer to bring in some temporary income and then maybe supplement with before and after school kids when the year starts up again. This will give you a little bit of cushion. Another option is to clean houses for people or businesses. We live in base housing and the people who clean houses here stay busy. Put up signs and cards in stores near apartment complexes where you will get the move out folks. Lots of apartment buildings and management companies also contract out that work to individual house cleaners and keep them on call for moveouts. It could even be something your husband could look into with a property management company, doing maintenance and make-ready work.

I hope these ideas are helpful, but mostly I just hope you feel encouraged and cared for. I am thinking of you and praying for you.

L.

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I was just going to say what Dori did. When my husband lost his job in the last recession in 2001, we had just bought our first home and owed $10k in taxes (marriage penalty). It was awful. My parents ended up loaning us the tax money and we paid it back when my husband got a job. We also took advantage of unemployment benefits. We paid into it, so might as well use it when we needed it. Thankfully, I work so we had that to fall on, but it was still tough. If you haven't reached out to family members who might help, speak up. Don't assume they know your need and don't be embarrassed to ask for help. We all need help at some point in our lives. Also find the local food bank.

A job-hunting tip for your husband: Find the American Business Journals website and read articles around the country to look for areas where construction is picking up again. I suspect those will be good markets for him to target in his search.

To keep from losing it, make an action item list of what you need to do. Feel empowered by the steps you CAN take to change things. There are resources out there you can tap into to help you get by.

Best of luck to you and your family.

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A scary time, for sure. Plant a garden! Get the kids involved and pick out something that you will eat. The timing is perfect to get a few cheap plants to start, or even plant seeds. It will save money, and give everyone a feeling of helping out. Good luck.

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First big hugs to you guys. This economy is scary for everyone.

The good news is you know how to live frugally. Have him apply for unemployment immediately. Check now into the requirements for things like food stamps and medicaid. That way you will know the income and asset limits. Most states have the info on-line so you can check it out. There is nothing shameful or embarrassing about taking help at a time when you really do. You paid into the system and you deserve to use it in the way it was designed-to help get you thru and back on your feet! We had to use food stamps for a time when my hubby was in school. Knowing how to shop, use coupons and cook from scratch stretches those dollars very well.

Best to you and your family.

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Hey,
It's a tough situation that you're in. Have you considered working from home? I started working from home when I found out I was pregnant, and then my husband's hours got cut, and we were in a pretty tough financial situation as well. I'm still working on building my buisness, but with this job I am able to stay at home with my son. I'd love to get you into an informative presentation, if you're interested. Send me an email or personal message ____@____.com or ask for some information from my website www.workathomeunited.com/joycita. My experience with this has been great. Good luck!
J.

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Angel Food is a great idea! We have used them several times before. It doesn't supply a month of food - but it does supply a week's worth for a family of four (according to their website).

stretcher.com is another great site that I love to reflect on.

I didn't see anything about unemployment, I know it's not much, but employers do pay into it and he should make a claim, unless his pay was under the table.

Thriftyfun.com is another good site.

Fox Business has tools and calculators for personal finances:
http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/tools-calcula...

WIC is a great program too... and it sounds like you qualify.

Cut back on as much as you can - cable tv, house phone, sell the second car, internet (use the library's computer), sell any extra baby stuff on craigslist.

Check out your local church... lots of times they have a program or a food pantry that you can have access too. We have a local church here that receives donated clothes for their thrift store but gives a specific amount away to the needy. Don't feel bad about doing this - they pride themselves into helping who they can.

I just lost my job too - but we are doing okay. We are cutting back on lots of spending and doing what we can...

Also, have your husband look at fbo.gov - that is a website where the government post proposals about work they need done. He just needs to create his own business and apply for the proposals. I'm sure there is a need for a glazier type of work.

I did a quick search and came across these:
https://www.fbo.gov/?s=opportunity&mode=list&tab=...;

Hope that link works for you.

Good luck and God bless :)

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Short-term, I suggest you kick it into survival mode. You should try to get a job... at a bank, daycare, a retail store, grocery store, receptionist, doctor's office, etc... something to bring a paycheck into the household. Get the word out that you're looking. Maybe you can watch some friends' children during the summer and get money that way? I'm not talking about a career-type job (I understand you want to remain an SAHM), but you need something to pay for groceries and the electricity/water bill until your husband finds a permanent position. And you want to start looking now, before all the college and HS kids get out of school for the summer. (I also think that it is a good idea for him to start looking for a temporary job while he is looking for another glazier position.... Again, get some paychecks coming in the house.)

Your husband can watch the kids while you're working... If you find a job that lets you work in the morning/weekends, then he can look for something where he can work in afternoon and/evening... He doesn't have to put it on his resume.

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