Sad - Placerville,CA

Hi M.. I am so sorry to hear you are losing the baby. I responded to your previous post about the spotting because I had spotting with my first pregnancy that turned out fine. I did have a miscarriage with my second pregnancy and was just devastated. I had severe depression for a month and then was still sad for a long time afterwards.

My husband wanted to start trying again right away, and I actually got pregnant again after my second normal period. I now have a healthy son from that pregnancy. However, prepare yourself. I was totally paranoid the first half of that pregnancy. Any little thing and I was sure I was miscarrying. I would be driving to work and would not feel nautious, so I would burst into tears, thinking my pregnancy was ending. But everything turned out fine, and I have a wonderful son now!!

I know exactly what you are going through, so I also know that the fact that so many of us have walked in your shoes does nothing to comfort you at this time. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish you the best with your next pregnancy!!

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M.

I am sorry to hear what had happened. I had responded to your earlier post about spotting. It's not an easy time right now, but you will get through it. YOu did one of the first things that any mother would do, and that is to look out for the well being of your child first, regardless of what the doctor's had said. You had enough motherly instinct to be concerned and to seek advice. You can get pregnant again...as to when is your decision. I miscarried my 4th child during my first trimester. Everything happened naturally and no DNC was performed. In fact, after the doctor told me that I was in fact miscarrying, and that we should schedule a DNC, 2 days later it all happened naturally. I am happy to say that we got pregnant again w/in 1 month and am happy to say our son is now coming up on his 6th birthday! Do keep in mind that I was 37 when I had the miscarriage and when I conceived #5. I wish you the best of luck.

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M. - I am so sorry for your situation. That is such a devastating loss for you. I had 2 m/c before I had a full term pregnancy. The hard pert is the worry about the future - will I get pregnant again? If so when? and When I get pregnant, will I go through this again??? Please know that this is a normal (but lousy) place to be. My only suggestion is to take care of yourself now and know that my thoughts are with you.
A.

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Ask the doctor if you could do an ultrasound to see if there is a heartbeat. If not, then ask for a d&c. Once it is all done and finished, go see a fertility specialist. You might need some help with hormone replacement for the first 10 weeks until the placenta takes over the hormone production. Good luck.

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M.,

I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant again with my gorgeous, healthy, and amazing daughter. For us, it took a while after the miscarriage to be ready to try again - about 8 months, but then we got pregnant immediately.

I'm sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and your (growing) family.

E.

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After my miscarriage at 3 months, I waited three months and then we tried again and I got pregnant immediately.
My miscarriage was incredibly painful emotionally but in retrospect I understand why it was for the best. Have faith that tho you are grieving there is often a reason why things happen the way they do.
I am sorry for your sadness and good luck to you.
P

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I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it is little consolation, but please understand that many miscarriages happen for a reason - your doctor has probably covered this. Still, you feel a loss and being sad is very normal.

Years ago, I miscarried my first pregnancy in May. Was pregnant again by September and had zero problems other than horrid morning sickness until my 5th month. I now have 2 wonderful kids.

Good luck!

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Dear M.,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. We lost our first baby to a misscarriage. I was devasted. I conceived again shortly after. When I got pregnant the next time the pregnancy went ok and my husband and I had a beautiful baby girl.I was nervous though since I had that misscarriage before and was bracing myself in case it happened again.Thankfully it did not.When our daughter was born and was just 7 months old, I got pregnant again with our baby boy who was born healthy and now I have two children, a boy and a girl. I know that having a misscarriage is very difficult. It is emotionally a rollercoaster, but I want to encourage you. There are many websites that are dedicated to Moms that have misscarried. I found them helpful. Many blessings to you and comfort during this time.

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First of all, I am sorry for your loss - and it is a loss. Give yourself permission to grieve. It is frustrating. We also tried for a while before getting pregnant with number two. I too, miscarried. I found out around week 12. I had to have a D&C - which was awful. But I did survive and did get pregnant again fairly quickly. In fact I think it was the first month that we were allowed to try (which was 3 mo. post D&C). I had a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
I know it's hard right now, but it will get better, and I have a feeling you will get preggo soon. This is pointless advice, but try not to stress - it only makes it more difficult for your body to conceive :).

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Hi M.,
I have had 2 miscarages. I understand how absolutely devistating it can be. With my first I went to ER and they gave me a D&C. A about a week or so later I had my period. With the second it was basically the same thing but took a little longer to get my period.

A couple of years later I was pregnant with my son who is going to be 9 next weekend.

Last year I got pregnant again. This time I had spotted like you mentioned. Two days later I was at work and started bleeding. I went straight to ER and then started losing a lot of blood. I believe at one point they mentioned possibly having to give me some. They had told me that I was having a miscarage, was going to lose the baby, and that there was nothing that could be done.

We went to the doctor and had a sonogram. It was very difficult to see, but low and behold I was still pregnant. They did not know how I was able to lose so much blood and keep the baby. You may want to be 100% sure that you are not just having a "freaky pregnancy" (for lack of better words).

My 2nd son is now 8 months old and healthy as can be. I don't know how much this information will be of use to you, but I hope it helps. If you have any questions or would just like someone to converse with about this please feel free to e-mail me.

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Hi M.,
I echo all the other sympathetic messages, and remember those days all too well. I had three miscarriages before our first son, one between the boys, and then a healthy boy and five years later a girl! They're all grown up now. :-(

I will say that my mother always swore by having a D and C (and she was a natural childbirth advocate and practicer in the 40's and 50's! so it's not like she was into medical procedures) and when I had my third m/c I had a D/C and got pregnant successfully right away, and I had a D/C after the fourth and again had a successful pregnancy. Especially with the way you're just spotting brown blood, a D/C would get it all over with and, as my mom would say, just clean you all out and make it that much more possible for a good start on a new pregnancy.

I recommend the D/C for many reasons. Going through a 'natural' miscarriage is just a total drag--I did that with the first two, and it's all the pain and work of labor without the wonderful results. Why suffer through it, when you can get knocked out, have the procedure done and go on with your life without waiting for the worst to happen? The gal who miscarried for six weeks? Why would you do that to yourself? Have an ultrasound to confirm there's nothing viable there if you must, and then have the D/C!

All the best of luck, and as you can see from all the other posts too, miscarriages are very common, as well as successful pregnancies afterwards.

Oh, and I caution you against thinking that it's anything you did or CAN do to cause or prevent it--it's NOT YOUR FAULT!!! It's just nature's way of correcting a mistake. And it totally SUCKS! It messed up my life for years, and the memory is still painful, 25 years later!

Best of luck, keep us posted!
L.

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I am so sorry for your loss! No one can understand the pain you are feeling except other mom's who've been there... and I do! After our loss, it took a full month to get my period since your body has to go through a full cycle again. We waited 2 months to allow my body time to recover and then started trying again. After 2 months of trying, we got pregnant again and now have a beautiful 14 month old baby girl! Hang in there! The risk of going through another tragedy is worth the reward of a healthy happy baby! Good luck and much love! :)

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So sorry this one didn't work out. With all 4 of my miscarriages I bled/spotted for at least 3 weeks and then a few weeks went by before I got a period. That first period was really bad - LOTS of cramps and heavy bleeding. So I waited until my 3rd period after to start trying again - I felt like my body was still out of whack a little and I needed to give it time to get back to normal. Also, I couldn't even think about trying again without crying.
Raspberry leaf tea will help your body clean itself out.
After our 1st miscarriage - my big-mouthed mom told my dad - my dad hugged me and said "At least now you know you CAN get pregnant." My parents tried for 7 years before having me and another 5 for my brother.

Take good care of yourself - a spa day never hurt anyone!
As for going through it again - well, I thought that after #2 I couldn't bear trying again, after #3 I thought I'd lose my mind and was laid off a month later, after #4 I knew I wanted another baby - knew there was an empty place at our family table - wasn't ready to try again - was actually in grief counselling and one evening hubby cooked a lovely dinner and plied me with some margaritas and I forgot the condom et voila! We have a baby girl coming any day now!

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Hi M.,
I am so sorry to hear about your failed pregnancy! I want to assure you that this does not mean you will not get pregnant again and carry that baby to term soon. I had a healthy baby with no problems whatsoever, then 3 failed pregnacies in 2 years-- the doctors referred me to a fertility specialist, we did all the tests (which I expect you have already done) and, before we could try anything, I got pregnant for the fourth time, and that pregnancy was just as uneventful as the first. I know you must be sad, angry, and frustrated-- with good reason-- but there is hope.

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Hi,
I see that you already received a lot of responses. I haven't had a chance to read through all of them. Just wanted to let you know that I've been there as well and I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is more common than you could ever imagine, it's just something that people don't talk about much. My first miscarriage was extremely difficult because of all the hormones and because we had been trying for at least a year to get pregnant. I had to have what they call a D&C because my body did not want to let go of the failed pregnancy. A year after that I was able to conceive my first daughter. Then, when she turned one, we tried to get pregnant again. I had at least 2 other miscarriages before I was able to conceive my second daughter. My daughters are beautiful and healthy. I have a friend who had 5 miscarriages before having 2 perfectly normal pregnancies and 2 very beautiful and smart kids so there is hope. Just take it one day at a time and take care!

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I had an early miscarriage at 7 weeks. It took 4 mo. for me to get my cycle back and get pregnant again. I had one baby before the miscarriage and one after and we have two very healthy kids. As difficult as it is, miscarrying is quite common and many, many people go on to have other children after a miscarriage. Good luck!

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Hi M.,

I'm so sorry about your loss. I just wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that I had two miscarriages in 6 months. I had a painful 1st miscarriage, so the second one I opted for a d&c. That was in July '07, I was pregnant again in September '07 and I had a healthy baby boy in June '08. (And this was all after the age of 40) So don't give up! My thoughts are with you.

Take care,

K.

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I was pregnant and big fibroid. The fibroid grew so big that it pushed the baby out of the sack. I misscarried, I had to have a DNC, and then a myomectomy which was a major surgery to remove the fibroid from my uterus. I was under alot of stress a rough marriage. I got divorced in June 05. I ended up in a relationship in July 05. I got pregnant Nov 05. Delivered a healthy baby girl Aug 3, 2006 who is now 3yrs old. When my 1st daughter was 18months I got pregnant again, and delivered another healthy baby girl Feb 18, 2008 who is now 21 months.

When I misscarried I was so devastated. When I got pregnant again, I was so scared. I prayed ever night to let this baby be healthy. Everyone keep telling me God does things for a reason, maybe the baby was sick, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Keep God in your heart and prayers. Everything should be fine. Try not to stress....

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M.-

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how painful that can be. Yes, I have had a total of 5 miscarriages! However, I also have 5 healthy happy children. The miscarriages were: 2 before child #1, 2 before #2, then healthy child #3, last miscarriage, then healthy twins. I feel for you, but hang in there, it will happen!

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Hi M.- I'm so sorry you are going through this! I too had a miscarriage when my first girl was 3 years old. It was at about 10 weeks and after the spotting started took about a week. I went through the natural process and there were no complications, other than being really sad. I went on to get pregnant with my beautiful second daughter about 3 months later. There are so many women who have gone through this and go one to have as many children as they wanted. Don't despair, grieve and let yourself heal both physically and emotionally and you'll get pregnant again. Hang in there!

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M.,
I haven't read the other responses but first I want to say I am SO sorry! I too just had a miscarriage (end of July) and even though I am doing better, I can still get pretty bothered by it. It took me 2 weeks after they told me I lost it to bleed and pass the baby. We had to wait a few periods before we starting trying so now we are back at it. Since I can't not yet speak from experience with a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage, I wanted to let you know that MANY of my friends have had healthy pregnancies after their miscarriages. One friend was pregnant 3 months after hers (She has since had one more healthy pregnancy), One was pregnancy 10 months later (currently 19 weeks and everything is good), another ended up get pregnant one right after another (currently 8 months pregnancy with baby #3!) and the list goes on. Try only when you are ready and ask your self if your desire for another baby is greater than your fear of losing another one. Then you will know if you are ready. I will pray that God gives you grace. This is such a hard thing to go through.

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Hi M.,

I had a miscarriage in March 08, it was very early on. I ended up getting pregnant at the end of May 08. If I remember correctly my April period was normal but my May was early. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy last february. Good luck, Im sure it will happen for you!

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M., please keep positive! you WILL have your blessed baby. i had a miscarriage and was told i would get my next cycle 10-14 weeks after. well i never got my period and low and behold found out i was 12 weeks pregnant! i got pregnant 2 weeks after my miscarriage! it will happen for you. try to relax and enjoy practicing. :) good luck!

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Hi M.,

Im so sorry. It is a painful thing to have to go through.

I wanted to encourage you. I went to the doctor because of what I thought was vaginitis. She gave me a very powerful antibiotic, that I can't remember the name of, but the insert said it could cause miscarriage. she also gave me a urine test for pregnancy and said it was false. (looking back Im wondering if it was a malformed or misplaced fetus) After 3 days on it I was hommoraging pretty badly. She told me over the phone to get a pregnancy test and take it, and low and behold I was showing pregnant- but now miscarrying because of the drug.
The next month I was pregnant again! I carried that healthy baby to full term. Yes- it is possible to have a sucessful pregnancy after miscarriage.

Make sure your husband avoids soy, and keep up your magnesium! Magnesium oil rubbed on the skin daily can help with that. There are reports that it helps reduce chances of miscarrage.

God bless you. Im sorry you feel sad. I hope you feel better soon.

G.

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Hi M.,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. We had three miscarriages before we had our amazing 20 month old little boy. He is the absolute joy of my life and I am so grateful that he is here. I know after going through miscarriages that it is really so common. I know that does not make it easier. I allowed myself to grieve and I planted some flowers with a little angel. It is okay to be sad and grieve your loss. If I had two little girls I would try to focus on the joy that they bring you. Give them lots of cuddles!!
I was extremely careful about everything. I did not drink coffee, soda or eat chocolate( okay maybe a bite once or twice). I ate only healthy organic food. I did not take any medication at all except for an occasional tums. I got a regular pregnancy massage (every two weeks). I did not even pump my gas. I tried to eliminate any possible source of toxin and as much stress as possible. I even stopped talking to a friend for five months because I did not want her stress to affect my pregnancy. My husband and I were fully tested for any possible reason and we found no answer. Maybe I was extreme in many cases but I just did whatever I thought could help. Sometimes things happen genetically and the baby may have been born with severe problems. Regardless of why, years later on the day when my babies should have been born I am still sad.
I have been thinking of getting pregnant again and I definitely have fears. But I know that we have our baby boy now so it is possible. There are tons of websites out there with people going through the same thing that you are if you need to talk about it. It helped me to read other people's story and to know that I was not alone.
Remember to give your little girls extra love. They might be sad that they lost their little brother or sister too.

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I'm so sorry this is happening to you! The same thing happened to me almost two years ago. My doctor told me to wait three months for my body to be ready to be pregnant again and then try again when I was emotionally prepared. It took about two months for me to get pregnant again with a healthy baby girl. I hope everything gets better for you in the future.

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Hi M.,

No advice or experience to offer. I answered your question on prediabetes diet suggestions. I'm feeling sad with you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

*big hugs*

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Hi M.,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I had the same experience. Married for years. Trying for a while. When it happened. It didn't really happen. It is what it is. Your body knows best.

Take some time to heal your mind and body. When the time is right. Everything will fall into place.

A year after my miscarriage. I got pregnant and have a beautiful son who will be 2 yrs old in 2 months. I am the most happiest person in my world.

You will have the same joy as well. Hang in there. Take care!!!

P.

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I had a miscarriage 2 years ago at almost 12 weeks. I think I got my period again pretty fast. And I got pregnant again 5 months later and had a healthy baby girl. I also have a friend who miscarried and got pregnant again before she even got her period again and had a healthy boy. Skits very possible. I wish you the best of luck and comfort!

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Oh M.. ((((((hugs)))))) This is a horrible experience and it is normal for you to feel sad. I had a miscarriage that lasted for 6 weeks! I very slowly lost everything related to the pregnancy. It was torture. I didn't want to have a D and C so they just checked that my blood levels continued to show that it was happening naturally. I don't know how I got through that terrible time, but I did. And you will too. And yes, one miscarriage, especially when you have 2 other healthy children, does not necessarily impact on the next pregnancy. There is no magical waiting time. This will pass, it really will, and then keep trying every month. And try to have fun and relax. Once your pregnant again, this will all be a distant memory. Take care, M.. Be positive.

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I am so sorry. I miscarried and then became pregnant again in three or four months. It can happen

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