24 answers

Rules for Facebook for Young Teen

Alright, my teen has a facebook account and understands the ins and outs of it (unlike mom) Are there any rules that your household has for using this, or general computer use? Do you have any links for how to use this? I know I should google, but I'm more interested in finding out what moms are doing with facebook in their own homes.

How much time to allow? Who can be friends? What if someone posts something on a friends wall that you don't approve of? Are their any situations that you've had that have put up caution flags in your mind? And so on... Thanks!

Just a quick update so you don't have to advise me on this...we do have the computer in the main living area of the house...thanks for all your imput so far! Keep it coming! LW

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for great advice! I have an account, but haven't had the time to figure out how the system works so now I have new resolve to spend some time learning the system. We'll be sitting down and discussing the guidelines that you all shared...so reassuring that other moms had the same instincts about this that I have. Thank you!

Featured Answers

I have my own Facebook account so that when my kids get a little older and want one (they are almost there). Then I will make them make everything private and friend me so that I can see what is on their page. They would not be allowed to friend anyone they do not know.

Timing is a little different. You can use that as a reward for grades or chores.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

EXTRA PRIVACY SETTING - a must for young teens!

My daughter had an issue of people posting pictures to her wall and then other people using them on their websites. (Long story) She stopped that by adding the extra privacy to her account by making herself invisible. Nobody can search her. She adds friends to her account by asking them to be her friends. She can search for the friends she wants and doesn't get flooded with requests by other people she doesn't know.

If you go to "Settings" then "Privacy Settings" then "Privacy ... manage" then "Search" and go to "Search Visibility." She can select "only friends."

I hope this is helpful. Let me know if it doesn't work as I may have written it down in the wrong order. I'm glad they have added this extra security. It stops predators as well who just look for kids by age, location or photo.

3 moms found this helpful

My son has a facebook account also. I know his password and I monitor it daily. Yes, I have had his friends post things that I do not approve of and I delete the post after the second not approved post I take that "friend" off the "friend" list.
I have explained what is exceptable and what is not.
The rule at our house is if in doubt then take it out.
My son is not allowed on the computer in his room, at the same time I do not use the computer in my room either. I trust my son, but at the same time I know he is a teen and things happen.
As far as time limits we have a 30 minute "free time" computer use a day. I say "free time" because he does have to use the internet for class assignments. I hope this has been of some help.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi L.,
I would suggest that you create an account for yourself and learn to use it. I enjoy it, as I've connected with old high school friends around the world for the first time in 23 years.
With children, I personally think it would be best to limit personal contact information, such as listing the birthday without the year. You can be listed as their "friend" on facebook, which will allow you to see their friends. On one mom's site, her son and daughter are listed as friends, and he college age son posted on her wall that he loved her. It can be positive. I hope that helps.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi there! My son is 12 years old and I allowed him to have a Facebook page on a couple of conditions. First of all I set the account up for him myself so that I would know the email address & the password anytime I wanted to go into his account. I also had him add me to his friends list so that anytime I am signed on I can see exactly what is going on with him and his wall (page). If he joins any groups he also has to add me to those as well. I dont allow him to accept any friend requests until I see who is sending the friend requests. Too many pervs out there for me not to be so cautious. He is also only allowed to be on the computer for a maximum of 1 hour for anything he wants to play. Just a few things I do to make myself for more comfortable I guess. Hope it helps and good luck!


3 moms found this helpful

Hi L.,

I am a technology consultant and have accounts with twitter, facebook, myspace, etc. In my humble opinion, I would say that facebook tends to be a little more "classy", but then again it all depends on the user and who they are "friends" with. My suggestion to you would be to do the following:

1. Make sure his/her site is set to private, meaning only their "friends" can see her information
2. Set up an account yourself and make sure he/she makes you a "friend" so that you can see the activity on the site.
3. Set some ground rules on what is/is not acceptable; talk to him/her about the importance of not be-friending people she doesn't know.
4. You must be 13 to have an account with facebook - those are facebook's rules.

I think someone else posted this, but I can tell you from experience that employers do look at people's pages before hiring someone. They do it all the time. When we were kids, our parents had the "don't put anything in writing that you would not want the whole world to read" talk with us in regards to note-writing. It's the same thing with these sites! You just need to have that same talk with your daughter. If she is honest and trustworthy, then you won't have any problems.

I think it is also important to stress that you should do this with him/her. Kids these days are using social networking and incorporating technology in their lives at a rapid pace. Whether we like it or not, it has become wildly popular as a means of communication for this generation. By the time your son or daughter reaches college, she needs to have experience using social networking, IM, texting, email, etc. because many of her college professors use these means of communication with their students nowadays. Also, if you allow him/her to set up accounts, but you don't, you are missing out on a very valuable way of staying in communication with him/her. I think if you learn alongside him/her, you will find that you like it. Hope this helps you!

2 moms found this helpful

In my house, no Facebook at 14. If you insist that your 14yo have Facebook, then you should have a Facebook account, too, and be his/her "friend" and have your teen's password. Your teen should expect no privacy online. For privacy, he/she can write in a journal. Anything else is fair game for random and frequent checks.

2 moms found this helpful

If you have 6 children...you need to have that PC in a main living area so that ALL CAN SEE. Kids are GREAT for telling on themselves!!!;)
Frys, Best Buy and the lot have software you can install to help control usage and "checking" on the kiddo's.
Be carefull with that Facebook (not a fan)....a person on THIS site tried to invite me and sent me a virus. Fortunetly, my husband is a software engineer and knew EXACTLY where it came from and how to solve the problem.
Good Luck,
M. :)

2 moms found this helpful

Hi - I have 2 kiddos with MySpace and Facebook accounts. First, I only give them 1 hour each day of computer use so they have to do their homework first - it takea a lot of explaining to get extra time. Secondly, I look over their shoulders and ask who people are and I have their login information so I can go in on my own. Third, I monitor their grades and behavior. If their average falls below an 80 or I get notes from teachers, their access is restricted. I also monitor their computer usage through Vista. Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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