Our daughters number 1 job was school. To make sure she did her best and completed all of the work necessary. As long as that continued we were open to tweaking and making exceptions to our week and weekend curfews. (Our city has strict curfews for students under the age of 18.)
She was responsible for completing her homework, projects and studying. I stopped hovering over her about homework in 5th grade so I did not care how or when she finished it, she just knew she was in charge of getting it turned in and it needed to be her best work. SHE had to ask for assistance. We did not interfere with this part of school as long as she kept her grades up.
Our daughter did not have a bedtime, the rule was she had to get up in the morning and be on time for school no moaning or whining. She knew what she could handle.
I do not like phone calls after 9:00pm.. So as a household we did not make calls after that time.
Curfew during the week was 9:00pm. There were times it was later if she was up at school working on a project or volunteering for an activity.There were also times that maybe if a performance or rehearsal was going on in town or at school, she could stay out for that.
Football games here can go on past 10:30. She was to call us if it was running late. I remember one game went into over time 3 times.. it finally was called at Midnight.. The band had left by this point, but us
"die hard's" were still there.
Our daughter watched TV, was on the computer and on her phone while doing her homework.. It works for her. She graduated as a National Merit Scholar and now is a senior in college and still studies this way (no TV).. Not all of the time, but she knows what she can handle..
She can multitask like no one else, but she is honest when she knows it is not working.
High School is the last 4 years before they leave and go to college. Better they figure out what they can handle now than when you are paying the big bucks and they go wild.
We were very honest with our daughter. We trusted her. We worked with her about the rules. As long as she followed the rules we had, we did not have a problem. We needed to know her plans, her location any changes to the plans while out and a return time.