Rude School Principal

time for a sit-down conversation with both the principal & the district superintendent. Have on paper a timeline depicting your side of the story. Explain how emotionally-upsetting the event was for you, & ask how this can be prevented from happening ever again.

Most important of all.....be calm & collected. Do not make accusations, but ask for justification & clarification of how the entire event was handled.

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The best way to difuse the situation is to have a meeting with the principal and start by saying "I think we got off to a bad start". Then calmly explain that you received that phone call saying your child wasn't in class and you started to think the worst. Obviously, your child was found and there wasn't a huge search or anything, but you feel that if she were to put the shoes on the other foot she should be able to understand why you would be so upset and worried and would expect a phone call as soon as they located your child. Tell her how you waited for 10 minutes and didn't get a call, then rode around the neighborhood, then went to the school. Tell her all you expected was a sincere apology that no one had called you yet. Not excuses, but just a sincere apology for making a mother think the worst. If she still is un apologetic, then I would complain to the district, and I would tell her in that meeting that it's a shame she can't see where you are coming from and that you will have to take this to the next level. The main thing is to remain calm. That being said, you are not overreacting, you are not expecting too much by expecting a follow up call within 10-20 minutes and you are not just upset b/c you are hormonal!

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The principal was definitely insensitive and should know better. I don't know that I would necessarily report it but I would feel out if this is common practice or an oversight. If it is a general attitude then I would report it.

After you have had a chance to calm down consider setting up a time to meet with the principal. Apologize for your possibly hormonal reaction but then express your concerns that the school seemed unaware that their approach to this matter was insensitive and caused undue stress and worry for you. Ask about their procedures for tracking a child in school and when they contact parents. Seems to me they should never have called you unless they were sure your son was not present. If the principal continues to "blow off" your concerns, then proceed with a formal complaint.

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I would write a letter and tell her exactly how leaving you hanging made you panic. Tell her that you find it unacceptable that she did not call, have some one call, nor understand why any parent would be very concerned that thier child was missing from school. Tell her that you further find it inexcusable that the whole "missing" child incident must be so common place that she called you to find out where your child was prior to starting to search for your son leaving precious moments unchecked when a child could be in danger. Attendence records should be a priority, and that the school had no idea if your son was there, or not, for that long is unacceptable.

Ask for an appology for thier mistake, and ask that they send you an explanation regarding what the school is going to do to improve thier accountablity for your children, and all the children's safety as you send your child to be in their care every day.

Tell her that you require a written response within 10 school days, or you will take your saftey concerns to the superintendent.

At the end, tell her that as a human being, you would also like an appology for her unprofessional and callous personal behavior, and that you will be willing to over look this bad impression in the future if she is willing to take responsiblity for how poorly she handled the whole incident and appologize.

M.

PS. Don't call anyone, write...and be as nice and polite as you possibly can, but make your point and demand a written response within a specific time frame.

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I do think it sounds irresponsible.
I do not think the Principal was doing this on purpose to upset you.
I think the Principal should have called and let you know they realized your son was there at school and they would call you back about the meeting.

Monday mornings are crazy at schools and if they were n the middle of trying to figure out what had happened the Friday before, I could see that they just jumped into the questioning of the students once they had spent time searching for the student and it slipped the Principals mind that he/she had left you hanging.

You are hormonal, I also hope that your confrontation with the Principal did not happen out in public with others that could hear this or in front of ANY students.. That is also not "Parent Professional" on your part. If you did speak loudly or out where ANYONE else could have heard this conversation. please apologize for your part in your letter.. It will give validity to your part of this situation.

If this happened in front of your child, please explain to your child, it was not right to of you to speak that way to the Principal and you were frightened in that moment, but we should try to control our emotions and remember that EVERY person deserves respect.

If your child did not do anything wrong or anything to be in trouble about, that is good. It will all work out..

IF your child was involved in an indecent.. This is where it all started from. SO make sure you focus on it never happening again so that these misunderstandings are not as likely to come up.

I am sending you peace. Please take care of yourself and remind your children, their behaviors. affects the entire family. You will always be on their side, BUT, it is unacceptable to misbehave and represent the entire family in a bad light.
(my mother used to remind us of this all of the time)

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This has nothing to do with being hormonal. What she did was inexcusable. Any loving mother would have panicked. Please file a complaint.

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They should have called you, and failing that, should have apologized sincerely. Having said that, however, I urge you to FIRST write a letter to the principal explaining your feelings. I used to be a teacher, and can tell you that teachers and administrators greatly appreciate if you first take your problems / complaints to the person responsible and only move up the chain if you don't get a reasonable response in a reasonable time. I know that you already voiced your concern to the principal, but in the heat of the moment she may not have had time to reflect and frame a response. Give her one more chance before sending a letter to higher administration.

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You are absolutely right about being upset and the principal was inconsiderate and just plain cruel for not immediately calling you back. However, if this is the first complaint you have about this principal, I would call and ask to speak with her again about the issue and then drop it. Anytime someone comes at you obviously angry, upset, etc. you are going to get defensive just like this principal did. I'm not saying she had the right, but it is just human instinct. I would calmly and repectfully explain why you were so upset and try to resolve this peacefully for your son's sake. He does have to be at this school everyday and will certainly have to have interaction with this principal. Hopefully, you can put aside your anger and frustration and just end this episode on a positive note. It would be so hard for me to take my own advice, if I was in your shoes, but I'd do my best. Good luck to you!

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I would have reacted the exact same way, including driving to the school!

I have to say, I would report it.

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I think you are right to be upset. However, if you are concerned about a "bad start", one way to ensure that is to file a complaint. The advice to write a letter, or better yet, go in person to sit down and talk with them is the best advice on here. From a school standpoint, you are not aware of other situations that were being handled. There may have been some other pressing issues that affected several others (if not hundreds) in the school. That being said, it would have been very easy to get on the walkie talkie and have a secretary call you and just let you know things were under control. That is the stance I would take if I were you...understanding, but disappointed and shocked that SOMEONE didn't call. I don't know that it is fair to expect the principal to drop everything to make a call, but a secretary certainly could do that, or a registrar, or an office manager. I'd approach it as you are concerned about the protocol, not that you were incredibly put out and paniced; although that was a result of poor protocol on their part.
Hopefully by the time you could schedule a meeting face to face, you would be able to see thngs a bit more calmly. I do think that a letter, may be a bit inflamatory right now based on your emotions. In person is ALWAYS better.

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I agree with Stacey M. This is the best approach with schools and its staff. It is a serious situation, and you have all the right to be mad, and frustrated and they should have call you back immediately to clarify. However, I learned that nothing can be well solved with anger specially with schools. If you see no real communication, apologies and a good attitude, you file a complain.
I had bad situations with schools, and believe me I always took a big breath and talked to principals or teachers without anger or frustration. It is the way you can speak clearly and state exactly what you need to state or say, and get good answers. The sad thing is that situations like yours or mine in the past are not uncommon.
Good luck and always keep an open communication with your kid.

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I think that it is time to call the school and ask for a meeting with the principal. Both of you have had time to calm down and think about what happened.
I would approach it from the point of view that you were worried, had NO idea what was going on and that you are hoping that they actually have a procedure in place to handle a situation like this. All of this needs to be done calmly, matter of factly and not with anger or accusations. You want to work towards making sure that something like this never happens again to you or to any other parent in the school!
Pregnant hormones or not...I cannot imagine getting a call like that from the school and then sitting and WAITING to find out what was going on!!!

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I would bring it to someone's attention, her JOB is to esure the safety of the students in the school and to PROPERLY inform the parents when an issue comes up and is correctly handled. COMPLAIN honey I know I would.

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L.;
As a parent I am asking you to please file a complaint. If you don't give her a wake up call she can do this again. She may have forgotten to call but she needs someone within the school administration to make her aware that this behavior is unacceptable. I would be beside myself with worry. Good luck!

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What ever had previously should have no bearing on the principal being civil and compassiate. She should of called you. I would go over her head and report her.
If she doesn't understand the seriousness of what she didn't do that is scary.
In an age were parents are scared of their children being taken as the walk in their neighborhood the teacher has to repimanded in some way. I would not be satisfied with "I am sorry" because she is not. If she was she would of said it and sees nothing wrong with what she did.
Also this has no bearing but I am curious how old are your children.. I kind of thought they were in grade school.

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yes, complain, but let me tell you.. administration or not, they all cover each others butt. So, make sure u speak or complain to the person way way on top. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck. And also tell them, you're pg you panicked you got scared your blood pressure could have gone up, or if i did tell them it went up.

I would definitly file a complaint. I would have been yelling and making a seen if they did that to me. Go gettem girl.

I would be absolutely livid, especially if it came about the principal was meeting out petty "punishment" via you (aka make you worry and more angry with your son) to your son for whatever the trouble was on Friday... or equally worse intimate that she thought you would never worry, because if you were a worrying/loving mother your son wouldn't be getting into trouble.

THAT SAID

It's also possible it IS possible that you son had arrived in the office and no one had bothered to let her know he was there yet.

If the first... write down the entire conversation and either take it to the school board or save it as documentation for later in case there were other problems.

Hello there,
I work for a school district and I must say the behavior you described is completely unacceptable. The principal should have called you as soon as she knew your son's location. It does not matter how busy Monday mornings are, you simply do not call a parent and imply their child is missing. You should contact whoever supervises principals, provide them the scenario and report the lack of professionalism you received when approaching the principal. I'm sorry you received that sort of treatment from a school district. I assure you, most principals would not behave in this manner.

I can understand the mistake, but not apologizing profusely is unacceptable. You're right - she SHOULD have called you immediately. But everyone makes mistakes so if she did, I would accept her apology if she indeed apologized. This is the point I would make with the school board when you contact them - that she needs to be more careful but even mistakes happen and she didn't seem to care.

That would really piss me off.

I just went thru something similiar to your situation. my son's principal was rude as wel and when i filed complaints to every office, school board and regional, they did nothing becuase she is the daughter of a head official at the school board. i was too pregnant, 9 mnths at that. i was hysterical due to her being inconsiderate, rude, and just didnt care about my concerns..when in fact she was wrong. i hope you are able to get this resolved. take it easy on the pregnancy. (prior to my meeting with her, i went into preterm labor because of the stress I was going through with the school. try to relax.)

I think you have every right to be concerned. I would write a letter to the principal and send a copy to the administation. One time I went to a movie and there were no seats. We headed back down and when I got out my son was missing and they were not going to announce for him. They said come back when the movie is over. I was also adlivid. He could be kidnapped.They finally announced for him and appearently he had found three seats for us but it turned dark and I could not see him. Bot my money back and that was that. G. W

L.,
Personally I feel you have every right to file a complaint. If the principle calls you and tells you your chils is not in class ... it is THERE responsibility to let you know it was a mistake as soon as possible. I would not have been able to contain myself, had i been in your shoes. There are too many sick people in this world and it is becoming too common to hear of child abduction. She deserves to have a complaint filed and i would demand the Administration advise me of what the disciplinary action that was taken , was. Good luck.

File the complaint for sure! I'd stay on top of it and make sure administration addresses you. That principal is way out of line!

What a witch!!! I would be sooooooo pissed off. I would call and complain! And I am not pregnant! She is wrong! She should have called you right away!!! She owes you an apology big time!

Not calling wasnt rude, but, she was stupid, unprofessional and inconsiderate. I would report her to administration and make a complaint. She led you to believe that your child was not in school where he belonged. If he was in class, he should have been logged into the attendance system and the principal would know that he was somewhere in the building. She should not have panicked you and certainly should have "gotten around to it"
You are not over reacting by filing a complaint. Good luck

That's horrible to put that kind of panic in you and not call you back I would have given them about 10 minutes maybe 15 to call back just incase he wasn't in the classroom but in the bathroom, recess, or something else. I would have been livid. I think you are being perfectly reasonable. I'd complain to someone that is over head.

It's completely unacceptable, but handeling it appropriately is as much your responsibilty as the principal. I would file a complaint with the superintendent. I wouldn't even bring up "the incident." This issue is a black/white. She called you and informed you that your son was not in school and then did not call you when he was found.

She works with children and has the responsibility to have called you back immediately. I believe the bigger problem is your relationshiop with the principal.

Depending on you experience with her you should call and inform her of your intentions. I believe that being respectful is the first step, wether she is or isn;t you respect the position. You need to explain what you percieve as unacceptable and what you believe will rectify the situation.

I think it is important to not allow to much frustration or "feelings" to become more important than the "problem" and your relationship with the person that will ultimately be a part of your extended family for years to come.

You did nothing wrong. I would of done the same thing & drove to the school.

You are absolutely right in your actions and thoughts. I would call and set up a meeting with the superintenant.

Two words - Kyron Horman. With that said - It's scary for any parent at this point of time. I would be livid too - didn't get around to it for a simple phone call. I don't know how far away from the school you live, but drive time and the fact that they gave you the opportunity to start to freak out and panic. I'm sorry that this happened to you. If you feel compelled to write a complaint - do it....

This is awful!!!! COMPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! You should do something about this. I cannot believe she didn't call you back. DO NOT let them get away with this, YOu are not overreacting!
L.

I know you already got a billion responses but I wanted to throw my two cents in. I would like to consider myself pretty easy going but in this case....I would be absolutely furious! I'm sure it was an overlook on the principal's part but she should have acknowledged her mistake and apologized profusely! I would approach the superintendent in a positive matter, with a solution for this problem, God forbid this situation ever presents itself again. She needs to be educated that she should have made it a priority to make you aware that your child was okay. Good luck!

L., this principal will continue to act like this to everyone if you don't write a letter. Martha has given you a great blue print for it (she's a good writer and works hand in hand with her school(s) with her children, so I trust her judgement). And follow-up with the superintendent if you don't hear from her in 10 days, like Martha says. If you don't, and she thinks you chickened out, she may take it out on your child because she thinks she can. Sometimes you have to hit hard when it's appropriate, like a child handling a bully so that they stop bullying. That's kind of what you have here, a principal who acts like a bully.

Most of the reason I think the prinicpal is a bully, by the way, is because you were standing in front of her, 7 months pregnant, and this is the way she talks to you. Would have served her right if you'd gone into labor in her office. (Not that I want you in labor at 7 months - I'm just pissed at this woman, dear.)

All my best, and take care of yourself,
D.

I would be livid and would report it.

First, let me say that I do NOT think you are overreacting. If my child school were to call me and say that he was missing and not call me to tell me he had been located, I would have gone absolutely crazy when I got there, but I also would have been followed by the police too, because a missing kid is a missing kid.

BUT, How old is your son? I think that does come into play because there is a difference between a 16 year old not being in class and an 8 year old not being in class too, and I think that does have a little bearing on how the school would respond (not that it's right).

If it were me, I would complain to Administration regarding the incident, if for no other reason than to have them determine an "official policy" to prevent it from happening in the future.

I think you have every right to complain about the situation. This principal needs to understand what she did!
I had a situation when my oldest daughter was in 4th grade. I had gone up to the school to have lunch with my kids. Well, my daughter asked if she could go to the restroom. I told her to go! (she has urinary problems) It was taking her a while to get back and I was starting to wonder if she was okay. A few minutes later she comes in and sits down. Her teacher walks in and comes over to talk with her. She looked mad and I asked her if everything was okay. She looked at me and just put a finger up asking me to wait a second and continued to talk with my daughter. She never told me anything. I thought maybe after school she would talk with me but she didn't come outside. I was approached by another teacher telling me she had quite a day and she needs to be careful. Well, come to find out she went to the bathroom and when she came out there was a gentleman standing there. He asked her how she was doing. She started talking to him and told him she was struggling in math. Well, they ended up in the 4th grade hall alone when her teacher walked out of the classroom and sent her back to lunch. I was sooo mad that nobody had told me anything. He was supposedly going over math facts with her to help. I was never aproached by the principal, her teacher, administration, nobody!!! It was important enough for them to talk to the kids about stranger danger but not let me know what happened and I was there at the time. I found out the man was a grandfather to a friend of my younger daughter. It really doesn't matter. I didn't file a complain on this incident because I was assured by friends that things were being handled. But I have filed complaints on other issues.
The point is, things won't get better if you don't file a complaint. Nothing will change. Communication is key for parents to feel comfortable sending thier kids to school. If the principal can't keep open communication then they need a new principal in there to run things.

I would definitely file a complaint. Their behavior was totally unacceptable....and they're coming down on your son for his behavior??? Look at their behavior. I've NEVER had a positive experience when dealing with any school system; they are communist - they are all very rude and will back each other even if they truly know what the other person did was wrong. I've NEVER had anyone within a school district ADMIT they were wrong or apologize....they just have the attitude everything they do is right, or justified for whatever reason...after all - do you think the students are allowed to tell them they are wrong??? Watch - file a complaint and take it to the top - they still will not admit what they did was wrong. They just don't do that. Very sad.

I would file a complaint. If they take the time to call you to begin with they should take the time to call you and say oh my bad he is here. That had to have been so scary. I am sure your hormones may have made you even madder but you still have every right to be upset!!!!!!!!

Good luck and God Bless!!!

I'm pretty laid back when it comes to everything, but that is completely inexcuseable. With a possible missing child, she should have gone to the classroom herself and then called you immediately. I would report her.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, it must have been awful.

I think I would complain also- I am also pregnant and if I got a call like that I know I would be in tears as soon as I hung up the phone and completely panicked 20 mins later! and not just because of hormones(although some of it might be!)
If you are complaining in written form, I would keep a copy for yourself and send one to the principal also- if you are doing a verbal complaint- I would invite the principal to attend the meeting(take your husband with you if you need support) so she can see how upset this has made you. It sounds as if she thinks it is no big deal. yes, she made a mistake- but she should have apologized right away.
Good luck!
~C.

Not overly sensitive! I would be in a pannick too. I would definitely follow up with appropriate persons. good luck getting the apology you deserve and hopefully a change in way things are handled in future.