Rocking at Bedtime?

Updated on October 30, 2006
C.H. asks from South Bend, IN
8 answers

My four year old sits in the fetal position on her knees and elbows and rocks herself to sleep at night. She had a sleep over and sat awake in bed until 1:00 a.m. until her friend fell asleep and then came to me crying because she couldn't sleep. Turns out it was because she couldn't rock. Now when anyone stays over she doesn't want them in the same room with her. How can I help my little girl break this habit?

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H.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would not worry about it too much. I still have to rock my legs sometimes until I go to sleep. Everyone has their own soothing methods to go to sleep. If it gets really bad and she is losing sleep I would take her to the family doctor.

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M.F.

answers from South Bend on

I have no idea how you can get her to stop rocking but if you find a way, let me know. My daughter, who is 9, has kicked her leg back and forth in the air until she falls asleep since she was about one. I don't know why she does it, and SHE doesn't know why she does it, but she has to do it to fall asleep. I hope that you get a response with a solution we could both use, since it sounds like our girls are in the same boat. Good luck!-Mel :)

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J.L.

answers from Sioux Falls on

It sounds like this might be a sensory issue. She rocks to help her focus...and to help drown out everything else. It's called a self-stimulating behavior. We *all* do this to an extent. We play with our hair when we're nervous or tap our foot or play with our wedding band. We all have something that we do. I personally, unconsciously move my big toe in small circles or tap it when I'm trying to sleep. I didn't know I was doing it until my husband pointed it out to me!

There are a couple things you can try. First, you can try to help her adjust to a self-stimulating behavior that is less noticable and more acceptable. Something like my toe tapping. Or give her a stuffed animal to squeeze or pet. Even counting sheep gives her something else to focus on! Or, you can try other sensory stimulation with her that might naturally decrease her need to rock. This is where experimentaion is key. It might be you rocking with her or dancing with her for a few minutes before bed. It might be a massage. Think touch or gentle movement. Swaying, swinging, rocking, reaching, stretching, massage, hugs, etc. Feel free to email me if you like.

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O.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have no clue as to why you would want to stop something that comes so natural to her. The lady that suggested the sleeping bag on the floor had a great idea. I do not know anyone who just falls asleep. I think that everyone does something. My husband always moves in the bed, even when he is fully asleep, so much that while I was pregnant it made me motion sick...LOL! I just flip thru the tv channels now to make myself tired. My son, who just turned one, moves around alot to get comfy, until he falls asleep. Personally, I wouldn't discourage this behavior. AND I DEFFINATELY WOULD NOT SLAP A BEHAVIORAL DISORDER LABEL ON IT!

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A.P.

answers from Omaha on

this is kinda intresteing cuz my 16 month old recently started doing this too.. i still to this day sometimes have to rock my leg to get to sleep. my husband does the circling of his feet. and well were not abnormal lol.

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C.M.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I thing that she sleeps in that position because it is safe and comfortable for her. I thik maybe when you do sleepovers try putting a big sleeping bag on the floor sa she will have plenty of room to sleep the way she wants. I myself am a very picky sleeper and if I can not sleep the way I need to to be comfortable then I do not sleep at all and I am very crabby. I guess we all have our vises dont we? I would just let her sleep that way I looking back now used to sleep the exact same way as a small child too my mom would get so angry at me because I had to share a bed with 3 of my older sisters. there were several nights they yelled at me for it. I finally got sick of it and slept on the floor. LOL... I dont think this is a bad habit after all it could be worse she could suck her thumb(like my 3 year old) or bite (like my 4 year old)...*giggling*

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L.K.

answers from Lincoln on

I used to rock myself to sleep as a young child also. The only advice I can give is to wait it out or let your child rock during her awake hours. It's possible that if she rocks before bedtime it will take away some of the need to do it later since it is really about soothing yourself and making yourself comfortable. I do think that your child will also be a fidgetter anyway. A link that you may find help is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypic_movement_disorder
I do not necessarily think that you need to get your daughter medicated, but understanding is important. She will most likely grow out of it in time. Also, just because a child rocks does not mean she is mentally retarded or challenged in any way. This seems to be fairly normal, but expressed in an unusual manner. I wish you good luck, but you need to realize that your daughter may just have to grow out of it and you need to be supportive and not treat this like it is a big deal. Be matter-of-fact about it and she will not think that she is naughty or wrong for doing it. She can't really help herself. As for the sleep overs, if you and your daughter are comfortable with her rocking, then the other children should be also. At that age they take their cues from adults.

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

I don't think you should really try to stop it. Everybody always says to teach your kids to self-sooth themselves to sleep. If that is what works for her...let her do it. If she wnts to continue to have sleep overs, she will either find another way to fall asleep or she will have to keep doing it and face the embarrassment of rocking with her friends. I would suggest maybe giving her a lovie toy or a blankie to cuddle with...that might be a sloutiuon. at least for the sleep overs

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