B.B. asks from Saint Augustine, FL on May 05, 2008
Road Trip with 3 Young Childre
My grandparents live far away (2 full days without traveling with kids) and their health is not doing good. Because of the economy and everything we are short on money. I want to see them before something happens and I want them to meet my children. I was considering driving by myself with my children. My eldest just turned 3 yrs old last week, a 16mth old and a newborn. I was going to make the drive when I was on maturnity leave otherwise I wont have the time off. My dad and his 2 little children will be there as well so he will be able to help with the kids a little too. I am concerned about the drive up and whether I am just crazy for thinking about doing it alone with such young children. I am really worried if I don't make the trip now I will never see my grandfather alive again. Any advice on making such a long trip with such young children? I still don't know how we will afford the trip but that is another story. Flying would be too expensive especially since we would have to rent a car and I would also be alone with 3 kids. Plus, with a newborn it really isn't a good idea to fly with the germs etc. My husband can't come because we can't afford to pay to get him into Canada. He has reckless driving on his record and last time we had to pay over $200 for them to let him in. Any advice on making this trip or is it just a crazy idea with such young children. My grandparents have never met them and I really want them to see them at least once. One of my main concerns is how the baby will be. Both of my daughters screamed their heads of in the car until they were around 9mths. And that is from the time we drove home from the hospital, they hated it. My 16mth old still hates the car and fusses a lot.
So What Happened?™
I appreciate everyone's advice. This trip was not so my kids to remember their great grandparents because they are too young it was so my great grandparents could meet them for the first and probably last time. The people that suggested video cams obviously don't have 89 yr old grandparents. They are too old and not healthy enough to undertake learning new equipment plus nothing can replace seeing someone you love in person before they pass away that is way more important then money or sanity. Unfortunately I don't think I will be making the trip. My grandfather was put in the hospital yesterday and is not expect to make it more then a few days. With 3 weeks left in my pregnancy I can't make the trip. I might still do it depending on my grandmother's health and my dad's plans. If my dad wont be going back up then their is no point. I do need his help with the kids so I too can spend time with her, plus she is too old to handle such young kids for a long time. Thanks again and yes I know I would regret it if I didn't make the effort. I already regret not seeing my grandfather.
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R.H. answers from Ocala on May 07, 2008
I found out that younger people can do a lot more than we think I wouldn't dream of taking 3 small children on such a long trip especially alone because it is so dangerous to travel alone can' you find a friend to go with you to help you out just for the fun in going , I know my daughter wanted to go visit her grandmother and didn't go and she regrets it now because she is on her way to her funeral so i am not saying don't go I'm just saying please take someone with you
M.B. answers from Tallahassee on May 06, 2008
Do you have friends where you live now? Becasue I think it might be better for you to leave at least the older two, or at least the middle child home with their father and have someone come in to help him with babysitting if necessary. It would be better for you to drive with as few children as possible because the stress will be a lot on you having just given birth. Or you might just have to forego the trip. Do you bothe have a computer with camera so you can do real-time online conversations? I hope it works out for you.
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D.G. answers from Jacksonville on May 06, 2008
Well I think you are REALLY brave if you attempt that trip, but if you do I'd have plenty of movies, snacks and toys in the car and just plan to make stops every few hours for the kids to stretch their legs. Good luck!!!
A.G. answers from Orlando on May 05, 2008
Anything is possible with the proper planning. You just have more planning to do! ;> Personally, I would say go for it (if it's ok with your husband- you don't want to start any problems) But definitely "doable"!
I drove down from Boston to Florida with my three little ones - at the time 4yrs old and my twins were about 8 months. My biggest concern on the road with them was how long they slept. Normally you would think, yea they're sleeping great, but it was too much. I would think that might be the case with your newborn, since they tend to sleep so much anyway. So, it might take you three days driving instead of two, but try not to go more than three hours and then stop for about an hour. If you can search online for some parks to stop at on the way-something right off the highway- even a McD's with a playground. Just to let them out to stretch and get some energy out. Bring a blanket you can layout at the rest stops picnic areas so the baby can stretch out also! Plan your meal stops, so you don't go past meals. Lunches you can probaly pack in the cooler, bring cereal and milk for breakfast, then you only have to buy dinner. Also plan your hotel stops so you can look around and reserve ahead of time and find somewhere with a good rate instead of the first thing you find when you are tired.
Also bathroom breaks - diaper changes -etc. Have a bag in the car with you with extra clothes on hand, so you don't have to dig through your luggage looking for something. Diapers seemed to leak more since they are sitting so much. Put a plastic bag with a baby blanket on top, under the babies in the car seat, just in case it leaks you won't end up having to wash the whole seat cover (like I did!) LOTS of wipees, diapers, formula, extra bottles & nipples (if your not breastfeeding), water, snacks, small cooler
Also a bag with things for your 3 yr old & 16 mo old to do. My 4 yr old was very good, and was either sleeping or looking out the window most of the time. It might help to have some audio books for kids, you can get them at the library. maybe dolls? I don't know if I would do coloring books, because the crayons will fall and riot may start! anything else they like to do, or just let them watch out the window. Don't offer unless they ask, or you will be on an endless search for something to entertain them with.
I got my son a map so he could see how far we were going and put the different states in different colors so he could follow along (sort of). You may be able to do similar or else just a map so they can feel included and forget the geography! Either way, be sure to show a map before you leave of how far it is from your house to somewhere she's been and then compare to house to your grandparents house- so they can get the idea of how far the trip is. Break the trip into days. Plan the trip with her and make your 3yr old your co-pilot, so she is excited about it- thereby avoiding the are we there yets! Be excited about the trip also, don't show her you are worried that she might be bored or it be a problem at all. Kids always find something to entertain themself with. Special treat at the end of the day is fun to look forward to.
Also, if you are able, try to drive at night, since they will be sleeping anyway. (Personally, this is not a safe option for me, because I am not a good night driver- but for my husband not a problem- you know yourself best) You could get up extra early instead and get some travel time in before breakfast.
Good luck and I hope either way you decide it works out for the best for you and your family.
May you and your family be blessed.
A.
K.B. answers from Orlando on May 06, 2008
Hi, B.... Have you considered bringing a teen along with you to help with the children while you're driving? Or perhaps a retired neighbor? That way you're not distracted while driving and the children will be entertained as well. I think it's wonderful that you are making this trip now before you lose one of your grandparents and they never get a chance to meet their great-grands!
T.A. answers from Daytona Beach on May 05, 2008
Well, B., mmmmm. You could ask a girlfriend to go with you. You could ask your dad to send some money to help defray costs. I don't know that I would do it with 3 little kids by myself, but I'm not you. Or, you could have a friend videotape the kids and you, and send the videotape up in the mail for them to watch if they have a video player. just an idea. Have your dad take pictures of them for you while he's up there and send you pics of your grandfather. Another idea, there are court reporting offices that have video teleconference capabilities locally. And up wherever they live, there must be reporting agencies with the came capablity. you could pay to have that set up for 1 hour and see each other live that way and talk at the same time. Just a crazy idea.
T.
B.H. answers from Los Angeles on May 06, 2008
B., my heart is wide open to you right now. I can feel your struggle and I just needed to write.
A couple of things come up for me. Do you need to take all the children? Can you not just fly with the new born. Hear me out. You didn't say how far you are driving just that it will take at least 2 days. And that you already know it will be a terrible experience for all involved.
Why not hire a babysitter to help your husband? You can fly to your grand parents, take all the pictures you can with you, video, DVDs of the kids etc. Introduce your kids to your grand parents with new technology. You can make the complete round trip in two days if you want, yes it might be expensive, but aren't your gramdparents worth it?
Or if you feel you really can't go, then, what about a webcam (you can get them for about $20) for you and for your grandparents? I am in Florida with my kids, my mom lives in western Canada, they "chat" on the computer, via web cam FOR FREE at least 3 times a week. (www.Skype.com).
Your baby is due in 4 weeks, then you will need at least 4 weeks after that before you should fly (just read that on the internet). Babies fly well. The "germs" etc, are not even a consideration. I have flown about 15 times all over the place with my kids now 12 and 9 and no problems.
So you have 2 months to pull togehter a really great "family presentation" to introduce your kids to your grand parents. I'll tell you, at that age it will not matter to them if they meet great-grandpa, they won't even remember. But you will remember getting to see him. Do whatever it takes to get there.
By the way, the economy is not at fault for you being short on money. Check out www.IsaMovie.com to see what you can do differently. I used to think like you, now I am trvelling the sunny US this winter with my family (we also did Mexico, and the caribbean).
B., I get where you are coming from. So let me help you get to where you are going. Once you decide to see your grand parents, then you will figure out the way. It is possible to have it all
Hmmmm... what if this email was the answer you were looking for? Would it be worth it to to you take 9 minutes to check out www.IsaMovie.com? I hope so.
B.
Family Health Consultant
www.TheYummyMommy.com
T.E. answers from Orlando on May 06, 2008
1. As soon as the kids have fallen asleep- I would tuck them in the car and DRIVE! We had to take several long car trips when our son was small and we could get 8-10 hours on our way before he would wake up.
2. See if a girlfriend or a relative could go with you to help with the kids and trade off driving. If not perhaps advertise on craigslist-- make sure you check referances and interview in person prior to the trip!
3. Join AAA.
4. Do whatever it takes to go to visit your family! Nothing is more important and take lots of pictures!!!! God Bless!!!
J.K. answers from Orlando on May 06, 2008
we use to drive from fl to wi alot. when the kids were young we moved to fl where the rest of the family lived in wi. Now we travel up there with our grandchildren. All we do is pack there favorite toys (that will fit) in their own backpack their favorite cd songs to play in the car small pillows to be used in their car seats and of course their favorite blankets. then a small cooler goes down by their feet with the large one in the trunk for backups. in goes their snacks and juice boxes and whatever else they need along with some wet washcloths for easy cleanups. (wet ones do not always do the trick) i think that was it. they know we stop when the car needs gas. then all the garbage gets taken out of the car and they are aloud to get a snack from the store for being good usually a banana or apple. thats also the bathroom break everyone has to try. gas breaks are usually every three hours because as you must already know you should fill up when the car is half full. we play games look for the cows, horses, trees, hills, red cars, big trucks. you name it, it keeps them busy, silly songs are made up. If you start out early in the morning or late at night there is less traffic and the children will be sleepy enough to go back to sleep. and their is less stress on you as the driver. also the major cities are not as busy if your trip is planned out right. do not underestimate yourself you can do it!!! it is not as hard as you think it is actually easier when they are little. they are amused alot easier. best of luck to you. you will do wonderfully.
M.E. answers from Jacksonville on May 06, 2008
All of this points to NO for me.. I think your common sense is telling you no but the adventure is appealing to you. I know this feeling because I have it all too often, even at the age of 57. You need to think of the children though, there's no way that they'll get what they need from you on a trip where you will be the driver. Take a good picture of them and write a loving letter. Somethings are just not expedient. Pray to God for your wisdom, He will direct you.
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