45 answers

Risky Birth Versus Adoption

I need some advice. I have a four year old son. My pregnancy with him was fairly uncomplicated, he was born full term and really healthy. I did have a miscarriage before I got pregnant with him, and struggled with vaginosis throughout my pregnancy. I was also put on limited activity during the last trimester because I kept spotting, and was group B strep positive at delivery. Since then, I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. It is currently under control, but I am worried about how complicated my next pregnancy will be. The doctor says they will have to monitor my thyroid closely, and I will be at an increased risk for pre-term labor and gestional diabetes. My baby will also be at a risk for developmental problems. I have no idea how big an "increased" risk it would be, but the doctor thinks chances are that everything will be alright. My problem is, I am a worrier by nature, and I am unsure how much risk I am willing to take. I would hate to go into a pregnancy knowing my condition could harm me or my unborn baby. My husband and I are both very open to adoption, but it feels weird picking that option when I know I could probably carry another child.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

hey dede,
I just wanted to let you know I am still in the same boat and if you want to email me back and forth again you can anytime ____@____.com

Well I don't know the risks but I can tell you that I have an underactive thyroid and have to take medicine every day for the rest of my life. I had my first baby a little over a year ago and there was no problems. I don't really have any advice for you unfortunately but I thought I would let you know that I had a very healthy 8lb baby and had no problems because of my thyroid. Good luck on what ever decision you make.

Hi. I delivered 2 very healthy babies with my hypothyroidism! I was diagnosed at 3 months pregnant with the first!

More Answers

First - I'm not trying to say you SHOULDN'T try to have another biological child. That decision is up to you and your husband.

But, with regard to adoption, you might be surprised to know that a lot of people adopt that are capable of bearing children. It can be difficult to adopt the "healthy white U.S.-born newborn" that some idealize - and many seem to compete for - but there are a lot of kids that need homes. Among them:

1. Children (mostly over 3 years old by the time they're available for adoption) of all races in the foster care system here in the U.S.

2. Children and infants of all races in orphanages around the world.

3. Healthy mixed-race infants here in the U.S.

You will need to research both the facts and your hearts to determine which of the many options is best for your family, but given that there are a LOT of kids who need homes and don't have them, there is NOTHING wrong with adopting when you could have a biological child - even without the "complicated pregnancy" issues. I have no idea what your beliefs are, but I once went to an adoption seminar where one of the main topics was "Is adoption God's plan B" and their answer was NO. They pointed out that Jesus was adopted by Joseph, among other things. I won't go into more in this public forum, but if you're interested in more info. you can PM me.

I have friends who have known since they were teenagers that they wanted to adopt. I know folks that have both bio and adopted children. As for me personally and my family, both of our children are adopted.

So I guess my message is...don't feel "funny" about considering adoption when you are capable (as far as you know) of bearing children. That's not a conflict.

B.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi DeDe,

I am a mom to two little ones...a 3 y.o. biological son and a 1 y.o. adopted daughter. As far as I know, I am able to have more biological children but I am an adoptee and have always wanted to adopt at least one child. Adoption is a wonderful blessing and is an option that isn't necessarily "for" everyone. I think God puts it on the hearts of some people and not on the hearts of others. My husband also had the desire to adopt so it made perfect sense for us to give a baby a home and loving family that needed one. I just want to encourage you to follow your heart and pray about it. Health concerns aside...if adoption stays on your heart or mind, it might be something y'all really need to consider. I guarantee you it will be a blessing to everyone involved.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm surprised you think it odd to choose adoption over having a baby. I think it odd to choose to have a baby when there are so many children in need of care. I am the single mother of a child I adopted. I can highly recommend adoption and certainly don't see anything strange about choosing to parent a child that needs a parent. Many people choose to have their own children and to adopt, so you'd be one of many, not strangely unique. Go fot it!

1 mom found this helpful

Before you make your decision, speak to at least two perinatologists. They work with OB's on high risk moms.
Your pregnancy doesn't sound "uncomplicated". Perhaps less than some, but in no way uncomplicated. So, I'd start there.
I was told by a few doctors that I SHOULD NOT have another child. I was 40 when I carried my first to term, had several probs, miscarraiges, etc. And frankly gained over 100lbs including at one point 11 water lbs/week. It was HORRIBLE.
I am lucky I have no residual complications. Yes, I could get PG with scientific intervention, but it would not be a good choice for my family if I took the risk and something happened to me. Where would that leave my husband/son?More than ANYTHING else in the world, I wanted several children. But I miscarried so many and put my body through so much that we made the decision that we wouldn't get pg.
For you, it may be FAR different.
You are at the beginning/research phase. I've already been told.
Dr. Maxwell is a GREAT OB/GYN in Ft. Worth. He is with Cooks... and he has a perinatologist that you can see as well.
And I have to tell you that Dr. Maxwell was NOT one of the docs who will flat out said "no". He will say "if you choose to here are the risks..." and "you will have to be seen by a team, not just me".
But he will be HONEST.
I think it would give you peace of mind. Something is telling you to be careful!

Take care and best wishes.
E.

1 mom found this helpful

I have 3 boys and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism after my second son. I didn't have any complications with my 3rd because of it. Of course the doctor can't promise you everything will be fine, but I just wanted you to know I had a perfectly normal pregnancy despite the thyroid condition (and so did my sister who is also hypothyroid). We use the same doctor and you just need to tell him as soon as you are pregnant. I called him before I even got into my OB and he changed my dose over the phone. Then my OB drew the blood for me whenever he would need it since I was there (and they were doing bloodwork for different things anyway most of the time). My OB would just fax the results to him and my dose would change-I probably changed 4 times during my pregnancy. I believe I went from 88 to 120(or something). I am now on 112 so I never went completely back to what I was before, but I just wanted you to know a positive story if you decide to try to get pregnant yourself again. Good luck.
D.

I don't have any advice, but I am sending you a hug.

Well I don't know the risks but I can tell you that I have an underactive thyroid and have to take medicine every day for the rest of my life. I had my first baby a little over a year ago and there was no problems. I don't really have any advice for you unfortunately but I thought I would let you know that I had a very healthy 8lb baby and had no problems because of my thyroid. Good luck on what ever decision you make.

Hi there. I have suffered from hypothyroidism since I had my thyroid removed at the age of 24. I am now 48 and the proud mom of two healthy, wonderful teenage boys who are the light of my life. I had perfectly normal pregnancies and deliveries although I did have two miscarriages after my sons were born and am constantly battling with my weight and my hair once long, thick and healthy hair getting thinner. I am taking Unithroid tablets which will be forever I guess, but other than that I am very healthy.
I hope that this will help give you the encouragement you need and good luck in whatever path you choose to take.

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