Rise & Shine!

Well, you can always just take him to school in his pajamas...
Don't get him dressed. He's in first grade. Tell him tonight that if he isn't ready to go when you are, he will go to school as he is. Make sure you tell him that whatever is wearing when he gets in the car in the morning is what he'll be wearing all day. Do not bring a change of clothes. Just plop him in the car and go.
One day at school in his pajamas and he'll be up and moving in the morning - no problem.

As for carrying the 3 year old - what happened to the stroller?

YMMV
LBC

3 moms found this helpful

Honestly, I don't think anyone is doing anything wrong.

Circadian rhythms are your natural sleep cycles. They're different for each of us and make some of us naturally early birds and others night owls. I have a feeling your son's circadian rhythms are simple not to be up that early in the morning.

I have a feeling your son isn't deliberately being difficult but is simply struggling with his body being ready to start the day at the same time as is needed for all to get out of the house.

I've honestly considered dressing my kids in their clothes for the following day at times because of how difficult the process can be to get them to daycare and myself to work.
Here's some information from the American Academy of Pediatrics regarding sleep: http://www.healthychildren.org/english/search/pages/resul...

Good luck!

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This must be a boy thing!...My son also in first grade is the same and hates getting up in the mornings , or doing anything for himself (he would happily allow me to dress him)!! My son needs to be up by 7.30am to allow us all to get ready and leave on time without rushing around the house (I have 3 kids to get ready plus myself). So what I do now it I wake my son 30 mins before I need him to be up so that he has plenty of time to wake up properly and just lay in bed which he seems to love doing! All the other stuff like lunches , clothes I get ready the night before to save time.

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Just a quick answer - positive reinforcement....Sticker chart for getting up and getting dressed. Once a whole week is filled, give a small treat.....My son 8 years old struggled too, now he's up and going in the mornings - he's so motivated by reward!

Good luck.
~sahmatwork

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I feel you! I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Sounds like he's getting enough sleep, and you sound very organized.
On the days I work, I make sure I'm completely ready before my son (also 1st Grade) gets up. We struggle occasionally with him lingering and lingering in bed. Drives me nuts.
One thing that has helped us is to "pre-wake" him.
I go into his room while he is still sleeping and open the blinds and turn on his bedside lamp.
The light seems to wake him gradually (allow 10-15 mins) and he seems to get up easier if I do that. It's kind of like reversing the "black out" curtains for sleeping longer!
I've gotta admit, it's almost near the end of the school year and my son has only recently started putting on his own clothes. I do know kids who completely get dressed on their own, but not mine :-(
What motivates him is watching a cartoon or getting some computer time when he's dresses, has had his breakfast and has his face washed & teeth brushed.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

With my son, every day he is not ready on time, the next day he gets woke up 15 minutes earlier the next day. When we reach a point where he is getting ready on time with no stress, that becomes his normal wake-up time.

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Well, my son is younger (4) but I have the same kind of issue. I'm a teacher (not at his school though) so I need us both up and out of the house on time every morning. I KNOW he is slow to wake up in the mornings, so what I do is this.

My alarm goes off about 2 1/2 hours before we need to leave the house (ugh). At that point I call his name and if he wants to he can come lay in my bed and snuggle me for ten minutes. Then I get up and get in the shower, while he relaxes, talks to the cats, etc.

When i get out of the shower, I pour him a bowl of cereal which he eats in front of tv (this is really the only tv time he gets). I get dressed, do my hair etc., and pour my coffee. He knows that when Handy Manny is on, it' s time to get dressed. I hear the theme song and remind him. He has that entire 20 minute show to get his clothes on (and sometimes takes that long). When Handy Manny goes off, the tv goes off (and we still have a ten minute cushion of time). I'm completely ready, and if he needs help to finish (teeth brushed, shoes tied) I have time to do that.

This plan has worked out well for us (I'm a single mom so there is no option of someone else taking him to school). I don't know how early you are starting the getting ready process, but my advice would be that even though waking up 2 1/2 hours before go time sounds terrible, having enough time to be slow in the morning and get to school/work awake and unstressed is worth it.

Good luck,
T.

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i have to say - get him up earlier. if he is in 1st grade and goes to bed at 7:30, he can get up a little earlier to give him some more time to wake up and get ready. also get yourself up earlier. my son is 3 1/2 and i am normally almost completely ready before i get him up. he's tired, he's whiny, he is definitely not a morning person! so i make sure i am prepared and can give him the attention he needs first thing in the morning. might help with your son.

once you both have a little more breathing room in the morning, get him on a routine and stick with it. potty, dress, brush teeth/hair, feed animals, whatever other chores you would have him do. i made a list for my son and we checked each item off, for a week or two, until he got used to it. once he's used to that routine, he will be able to do it quicker and he can sleep a little longer if you feel comfortable. my son does better when he has a predictable routine, and he knows what is expected of him. once he realized this was the schedule and there was no more 'extra' time to monkey around *until after chores were done - when i would let him watch cartoons or play*, he accepted it and just went with the schedule i created. it took several mornings of time outs and even a swat or two, if we were out of time for time outs, but we got there. it also helped him realize he is expected to do certain chores, no excuses.

but #1 - get him up earlier.

ps, don't feel too bad for dad - unless there is a medical issue, the 3 year old should be walking. he's doing that to himself lol.

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It may be a matter of finding his motivation. Do you have a neighbor with older kids who your son could walk with? I have a neighbor with a boy my son's age and older kids too who I feel are old enough to walk the younger ones to school. My son will hurry and get ready just for the chance of walking with his friend rather than get a ride with me, even in unpleasant weather. Other motivations I have found for him include computer games (we like PBS Kids and Nick Jr for online games) or TV. He has to be totally ready first, and it's usually only about 15 minutes of screen time, but he's happy to do it. Also it has sometimes helped to change the breakfast food. He will get moving better for his favorite yogurt flavor or pancakes (I buy the microwaveable kind). Good luck!

You are doing nothing wrong. You just haven't figured out what will work for him yet to help get him going in the morning. You could try a reward system to get him going. He gets to watch Cartoons after he is completely ready for school. That's the rule in my house and there are days when my daughter only gets 5 mins of TV time!!

That is for the short term, give him a week goal as well. Make a chart for each week and he gets a sticker for each day he gets ready for school without a fuss. At the end of the week he gets to go out for an ice cream cone or to pick a low dollar toy from the store if he gets a sticker for the whole week. Make a month goal and for all month he gets to go to Chuckie Cheese, the zoo, etc if he got the whole month stickered.

Another rule in my house is my daughter (4th grade) had to pick out her clothes the night before (before they went to uniforms this year) and she couldn't change anything unless I told her too. If she didn't pick them out, I got to pick them out in the AM and she had to wear what I picked, no arguments. Not saying she didn't try, but she learned quick that she wasn't getting her way.

Now my son who is in Pre K picks his out in the AM and I give him 2 choices of shirts and pick pants/shorts out accordingly. He hasn't started giving me a hard time yet but he does try to wear his favorite shirt 2-3 times a week if I'd let him! lol

I have told both of my kids that if they don't get dressed, I will take them to school in their PJs and they will wear them all day. They have both come very close to having to do that but not yet. And I will take them in their PJs if that will teach them to get up and moving when I say they need to!

Good luck!
S.

your not doing anything wrong. It is hard when a mom goes back to work. I would suggest getting up and getting totally ready to go before even waking him up. also the clothing thing is a good idea. what time do you get him up? maybe get him up a half hour earlier. and let him have some time to watch a favorite cartoon after he eats breakfast. it may be that he is still not getting enough sleep. at 1st grade he is old enough to talk about this. ask him if he thinks that he needs more sleep. maybe he does. tell him that if he messes around and makes you late he will go to bed that much earlier the night before. and then stick to it. the flip side of that is maybe he is getting too much sleep? my husband will be drugged out and tired all day if he gets to sleep to much lol. the exact opposite effect of what he is looking for by going to bed early. good luck.

It sounds to me that you are not doing anything wrong. You just haven't figured out yet what works for your son. I wonder if he is feeling helpless, wanting you to help him get ready. Also depression and anxiety cause us to change our sleep habits. Difficulty getting up is one way that can happen. I understand your frustration.

Can you think back to when this started and what was going on at the time? Did he have a period of time when he did wake up and get ready without your help? Or were you helping him because he did need help and then you went back to work or perhaps you just felt he was ready to get himself ready and stopped helping him. I noticed that this happened with my grandchildren. Their mother didn't think about easing her daughter, the first born, into getting herself ready and had a terrible time getting her daughter to get with the program. Then when it was time for her son, the second born, to get himself ready, she did start by easing him into i. She helped him get started, checked with him part way thru, praised him, perhaps handed him the next garment before leaving and then when she returned put on his shoes and he was ready to go. I think she's still doing that for him when he's having a difficult morning. He is in special ed because of a learning disability and behavior issues.

I suggest you try going back to helping him as you did when he was first able to dress himself. Perhaps help him wake up slowly by sitting down on the bed with him and spending some quiet time with him. Go with him to the bathroom and while you're doing something for yourself talk with him. Be a part of his morning. Perhaps his dad could help with this. I know it takes longer but expecting him to be self-sufficient isn't working.

It's important to be upbeat but not overly cheerful and driven during the morning process and to allow time for warmth. I think that the push to get out the door can easily become overly focused and somewhat frantic which is scary to a small child. They can't keep up. They can withdraw and not do anything or much of anything or they can become cranky and uncooperative. Your son may need more personal attention. Some kids start out life being more independent while others need encouragement along the way.

I would also consider how he feels about his day. If he dreads going to school he may not wake up easily. What does he do between the time school starts and the time he gets there with you? Is this a fun time for him or is he bored? If he's with you do your responsibilities require that you not pay attention to him? How is he doing in class? If he's having difficulties there he also may not want to wake up.

Overall, what is his demeanor. Is he cheerful and active once he wakes up or is he quiet and low energy by nature. I have difficulty waking up and it takes me longer to get ready than other people think it should. I do end up needing more time when they nag me because on top of getting ready I have to deal with my feelings. At 6 he probably doesn't know what's going on with him and if you are having to nag him he is probably going to go even slower. If that is what is happening, perhaps getting him up earlier and spending some time with him, one on one, will help him wake up and be in a good mood. I try to get up early enough that I can spend one on one time with myself. This starts my day off much better.

Because we are adults and mature we can step up our pace and get to work on time even when we oversleep. Kids just aren't able to easily do that. At 6, he may need more attention in the morning. If attention is his goal, it's not working for him either but he doesn't know how to get attention any other way.

Perhaps it would help to spend some quiet time with him at a different time of day when you're both relaxed to talk about what is happening in the morning. Perhaps tell a story about a little boy who has trouble waking up and getting ready for school. Ask him, at various points in the story to ask him what he thinks or what he'd do if he were this boy. Do this more than once if need be until you find a way to manage morning so that he is more successful. Success is a great motivator.

Another idea would be to let him sleep and take him to school in his pjs. Bring his clothes in a bag and let him get dressed at school. Perhaps let him eat breakfast in his pjs or have breakfast at school. Approach this new way with him as an adventure. Sometimes changing the routine gets us out of a rut that isn't working.

When my son was in 1st grade, I always made certain I was dressed before him. I would start waking him up by turning on lights and opening curtains. Phase two of the wake up process would be a warm wet washcloth to clean his face and after that he had to get up. Since I was dressed and packed and ready to go I could help him get ready too. Positive reinforcement and motivations helped too. Hang in there. Try many of the suggestions you have gotten already. Perhaps hubby can help him get ready in time for you both to leave together?

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Sounds like he is not a morning person! Here's a couple of ideas:
1) Have him pick out a special alarm clock to put in his room
2) Turn on his favorite music when you go in to wake him up
3) Make it fun - have a contest to see who can get dressed faster
4) Reward system - for every morning that he gets up and ready with no fits, he can have a small treat after school.

You are not alone. I have to make sure 5 of us are up and ready every day.