Resources for Anxiety

Children's yoga and karate would be good physical outlets for him. The thing I like about yoga is that it teaches you deep breathing techniques that you can do throughout your day to calm yourself down when you start to feel anxiety coming on. And, as you may have noticed, when you are feeling anxious or frustrated, the thing you usually end up doing is taking shallow breaths and sometimes hyperventilating which contributes to the problem.

If he is not intested in yoga, then karate would be a good physical exercize that will also help him center himself and learn self-discipline. Also, if he can find one activity that he can master, that will help build his self confidence and help him feel more in control of his world. And providing him with a creative outlet to get all of his pent up feelings out may be good for him as well -- drawing, painting, pottery making, etc. It doesn't have to be any particular style; just something that will allow him some creative self expression.

I hope that you are able to get the answers you need. Blessings to you and your son.

"Parenting from the Inside Out" by Daniel Seigel.

This book is amazing and helps you understand the role attachment plays in children's behavior issues. I am an MSW who specializes in attachment and trauma and the best tool for any parent (in my opinion) is this book or "The Developing Mind", also by Dan Seigel. These books help you learn how disruptive attachments with caregivers impact the developing mind, emotional regulation, behavioral symptomology, and offers idea's on how to ease anxiety related to insecure, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles.

This poor little boy has been exposed to so much uncertainty and possibly even emotionally unsafe situations that is most likely impacting not just his behavior but his ability to regulate his emotions...and that classifies as trauma. His therapist SHOULD be able to talk with you about attachment and recommend some additional good resources for how to help him with achieving a secure attachment (which is ultimately what will help him resolve his anxiety and trauma) and the therapist should also be able to help you learn what protective factors are, as well as developmental assets. A quick google search of these terms might help you learn more as well.

You seem so very loving and understanding of this little boy, and gosh is he lucky to have you! There are so many children out there who don't have people like you. I'd be cautious to label him with anything, especially any additional diagnoses that could ensue and I'm glad his therapist didn't diagnose him with ADHD. Traumatic symptoms look very similar to ADHD and when medication is administered to children who do NOT have ADHD, behavior typically gets worse and the child suffers immensely with emotions that make them feel helpless.

I highly recommend "Parenting from the Inside Out"...you will learn more about him than you probably ever thought possible and you will also learn that with the right secure attachments and caring and supportive relationships, he will be able to progress to a healthy, non-anxious, and happy place with himself and others. Social interactions literally shape the biological architecture of our developing brains so poor attachments with primary caregivers wreak havoc. The good news? Positive social attachments with caregivers HEAL!

Lots of luck and as someone who works with trauma survivors, many in foster care, thank you so much for caring as much as you do. The world needs more people to care and do the day to day nurturing work with patience and persistence...I'm sure this little boy will thank you one day as well:) Whether you realize it or not, this little boy knows you care and as a result, you are already helping him both biologically (brain development) and psychologically.

Here's a link for more information if you are interested:

http://www.nctsn.org/nccts/nav.do?pid=ctr_aud_prnt_what

You've had some good advice here.
Especially from Ally.
I hope you'll be able to follow up on these recommendations.
I wanted to add, and perhaps you have already considered this . . .
a great deal of his difficulty is based on the inconsistent situation
he has lived through with his bio mother.
Consider, maybe with guidance from therapist(s),
giving DS clear messages that you're there,
you're not going anyplace, you will continue to be there,
he is safe in your home.
Thank you for fostering this little boy.

Does his therapist have specific experience or training in dealing with anxiety? Anxiety is primarily produced within us from a lack of security, so it sounds like her diagnosis is right on -given what you said about his bio mom. He needs to learn relaxation and soothing techniques that he can call upon in a number of situations. I'm so glad you and your husband are getting him help now. People suffer from anxiety their whole lives, but it can be stopped or greatly curbed for him if he can learn some meditation, breathing and relaxation exercises. I think the suggestion for martial arts training or yoga is great. He also needs to be instilled with a lot of self confidence, and martial arts will help with that as well.

Lifepath Systems is somewhere you can take your child for anything from therapy to psychiatric help. It is income based and they have locations in Plano and Mckinney. My son has diagnosed issues and is seen there. They do what is called "play therapy" with younger children. Just some background my son is 10 and has bipolar disorder and adhd. I am very familiar with the mental health system, therapy and believe in a more natural approach vs. prescription medications.

My son has also been in Taekwondo for a couple of years and although it's great...it doesn't always solve the issues. It is a wonderful source for learning respect, focusing, self discipline and other outlets but does not work for every child.