Requirements to Receive Child Support If Not Divorced

J.,

I am sorry to read your current situation.
My husband moves our family on the avereage every 15-16 mths. This is always to a new state. So as you can tell after 12 years I am seasoned at taking on a new move. What is your number one reason for not going with him? Is it a fear of the unknown? Every move we have made (some begrudgingly) has in the end been a fantastic learning experience for our family.
The one thing that sticks out with you and your husband is his lack of concern for you and the child. The idea that he would not continue to financially support you and take your car speaks volumes. Your predictament seems very much like a room mate type relationship. I can only go by what is in the email, however, if this were me (for whatever reasons you have for not moving aside)and my husband threatened me that I would lose the car and other things I would tell him "I will see you in court!" Does he need to grow up, well I can't answer that. I can tell you that he is not behaving like a father nor a husband. Just like others have said and I can confirm there isn't a "legal separation" choice here in our state. To gain child support you must file for divorce.
There are deeper issues that you must consider other than a physical move. You must understand that you are being blackmailed into a move that you are not comfortable with. A marriage is a partnership 50-50. Is sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick my friend.

My prayers are with you and your little one,
Dene' H.

J.---I learned the hard way, that he threatens anything...taking your car, child, money.....it's already over. If his first priority was his family, he wouldn't be leaving without you. I would really reconsider what your options are and look into consulting with a family lawyer. If you need a referral, I would be glad to give you a name of a very good family lawyer. I had to consult with him when my ex was planning a trip overseas with my sons and had not even told me about it. I found out through my youngest.

Bev is right about the fact that he does not have to return your child if he has him in his "custody." I would at least have some sort of custody agreement in place by a lawyer. You can do that without considering divorce. You can also set up child support without divorce.
Sorry you dealing with all this. (HUGS!)

There is no legal separation in the state of Texas and you cannot do anything in the other state as you are not a resident. I hope you understand that if he takes your child or you send the child for a visit, he can keep the child as he is the father and there is no divorce/custody agreement with the court. If you truly fear this cannot be resolved, then file for divorce (nothing says you have to finalize it). I have to say, that I question how 'good' of a dad he is if he would even consider taking the vehicle unless he doesn't have one or not providing support. It sounds like you two have some very serious financial issues that need to be resolved in order to move forward which is hard to do in two different states. I wish you luck as you make some difficult decisions.

You can file for a legal separation and get temporary child support in place. But, I want you to consider this...which is more important, where you live or your marriage? With a more positive attitude towards the move, it might be an opportunity for you both. But, throwing away your marriage over the location of your home seems awful drastic to me. I hope you'll think about that long and hard. Best wishes to you and I hope it all turns out for the best.

I think you should perhaps support your husband a little more if he is the primary breadwinner in the family. If you're interested in keeping your family together and this move is to the betterment of the whole family and not just your husband, perhaps you should consider moving with him. Sounds like you guys may not be getting along and divorce is imminent. If you file for legal separation, you can get temporary support order. However, it may be hard for to collect on the support if your husband moves out of state. Consider moving in with family if you're just intent on staying. Have you called Dr. Laura on the radio?

Call the Office of the Attorney General and they can help you with this question. They can also file any paperwork needed to start getting support. A legal separation is almost as expensive to do as a divorce and then you may have to go back and do the divorce (hopefully not). You can get answers to a lot of child support questions on the Office of the Attorney General's Child Support Division website. Let me know if you need help finding it and I'll try to get the link for you.

First of all, I am NOT a lawyer, I just consulted one recently. According to her, there is no legal separation in Texas, and you can't get custody or support through the court unless divorce has been filed.

My suggestion would be check with the state where your husband is working and see if you could do something there.

I certainly understand your situation, as my so-called husband of 10 years recently moved out, and has only paid half of what we agreed for June. I keep telling my kids he's a good man but a lousy husband.

This must be a difficult time for you, emotional and financial. This is not an easy situation to deal with but I would definitely at least speak with a legal professional in your state and in the state where he is moving. You NEED to know what your legal standing is and what your options are. It's uncomfortable to think of these details at a time like this but it's important. I am not a lawyer but my guess is that you may need to seriously consider filing a legal separation because that date is an imperative one and directly related to when the child support would begin. If it were me and he were threatening me with taking away the vehicle or anything else, I would take action at least in doing the research immediately. Marriage is a partnership but some people don't seem to get that they aren't the only one who gets to have a say. Call around and try to find any friends or friends of friends that can recommend a lawyer. You can often get free advice over the phone if you are ready with good questions. The internet is your friend too. You can find similar past and current cases when you google your exact situation and even narrow it down to your state of residence. Best of luck to you and your beautiful baby.