Requests Not to Name My Baby *Blank*. Weird?

Updated on October 08, 2011
S.S. asks from Osgood, IN
91 answers

Ok so in about 16 weeks I will be having a baby girl. At first I like the name Charlotte (it is the name of my great-aunt who died last year.) But my cousin said that was the name she wanted for the name of her second daughter...Second? Really? She doesn't even have one girl yet (she wants four kids and has one son so far) how does she know she will have two. A couple years back before either of us were even married I conscented to let her have the name Emily, but now neither one of us wants it because it is the name of her husbands ex-girlfriend and the name of my ex-roomate who stole from me and blew our rent money on crack. I let this go however and thought about using the name alexis. Then my sister says I can't use that name because if she ever has a girl she wants that name. Now my sister is 18, a virgin, has been in one relationship (that only lasted a couple months) and between school and work doesn't have time to even date (last date being about 10mnths ago) so the likely hood of her having a baby any time soon is slim. Then I thought about the name Madelynn. Then my sister in law say that she wants that name for a girl (though she doesn't specfically request I don't use it like the other two) But the thing there is that my SIL is 36 with two kids (one about 17 and one a couple mnths) she had alot of problems even getting pregnant with her second baby and had a lot of problems once she concieved (the baby had a brain infection and then couldn't grow properly.) and the likelyhood of her having another sucessfull pregnancy is slim. Do you think its weird I am getting all these requests not to name my baby a certain name?

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So What Happened?

to clarify (since Gamma G asked) this is my first cousin. We have the same grandma. Our great aunt Charlotte is our grandmothers older sister. I talked to my sister and told her that if I named my daughter Alexis I would most likely call her Alex, and she would want to call her alexis Lexi. She still thinks it would be confusing. Names are a big deal in my family. Also I should mention that my cousin and my sister are my best friends so that is why I have been sharing name ideas with them. Also I want to mention that we all called my great aunt, Char for short. I would pry call my daughter Lottey (it is kinda a combo of charlotte and my great uncle otto whom everyone called ott)

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is why we never told others what we were thinking on names....I think it is absolutely ridiculous that people do this...as in say that's my name or what not. If you like the name use it...if someone else has the same name and you still like it use it! There is no first dibs second dibs in naming children.

4 moms found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's NUTS!

You have as much right to use whatever name you love as they do. If you have the baby first, too bad for them. They need to get real!

2 moms found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

Wow, yes I'd stop sharing names....that is crazy!

I will say this, my sister was 5 months pregnant before me. I since the day I started dating my husband wanted to name my first daughter a certain name. My sister picked a name VERY similar to it. I mean they both started with the same three letters but only ended different with a vowel. She was having her daughter first so I did voice my concern...but I was also pregnant and she realized it was too similar to the name I wanted. We both had girls so thank goodness she went with something else. Even if I weren't pregnant I probably would have voiced it because I was bound and determined to name my first daughter what I named her. I love(d) it that much! Outside of that....I did not have any names saved. In fact my sister named her son one of the names my husband and I talked about naming if we had a boy.

But that many people to have issues with that many different names is kinda crazy. My one SIL wanted to name her daughter the same as my other SIL. My SIL who was pregnant first decided not to name her daughter the name to allow the other SIL to use it. The other SIL when finally having a girl went with something totally different. :)

2 moms found this helpful

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

ooh my!! tell your family to grow up and get out of elementary school!!

Whoever has the baby first names it what they want!!

My sister's family (combined between our family and his family) has THREE Anthony's, FIVE Michael's and FOUR S.'s....no one is complaining...they all named their kids what they wanted to name them...and (gasp!) no one has died or lost sleep over it...neither should they - name your child what you want to name her...

CONGRATULATIONS on your baby girl!!

11 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

This is why it is best not to share the names. There is no ownership, name your little girl whatever you want to. From now on I'd just tell everyone "we are still undecided, there are just so many beautiful names out there".

Congratulations!

7 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

OMG, stop discussing it with them and name your baby what you want. They can find out after the birth certificate's been written up.

7 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

Yes, it's weird since YOU are the only one pregnant and about to give birth to a GIRL, you have first choice. Sorry crazy family members, but get over it. Name your baby whatever you want. They can "deal". :) Congrats!

7 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Name your baby whatever you want! First come, first served. Your cousin might not have any girls, let alone 2. It's ridiculous. Besides, there can be more than one person with the same name in a family. My family has lots of Roberts (named after older relatives). I named my first son Joshua even though my cousin has a son named Joshua. Nobody minds. You shouldn't have to settle on a name you don't like because someone else might have a baby and might name them that.

6 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Totally agree with everyone on here. Name your daughter Charlotte, tell her that even though that is what she wants to name her SECOND daughter (pfffft) it's also what you want to name your FIRST daughter. You know the daughter that is ACTUALLY going to be here and not a hypothetical one. Why should her wants come before yours? If they share a name, no biggie, my husband has two cousins both named Andrew after their grandpa. So now we have three Andrews, one Andrea and one Andy. At least it was easy for me coming into the family...if I wasn't sure someone's name Andy was a pretty good guess. :)

There was a little bit of a tizzy over sharing the name, but everyone got over it pretty quick.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Name your baby what you want! I love Charlotte the best of the names you mentioned.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

I don't think it's wierd. I think it's freakin' ridiculous.

Name your baby whatever in the world you want to, and then if someone else in the family wants to use the same name, you can come up with nick names to differentiate.

My mom's name is/was Lila and she passed away about 9 years ago. When I found out I conceived a girl 5 years ago, we knew immediately that her name would be Lila Rose, after my mom and my husbands grandmother who had recently passed away.

This caused a little bit of a stir in my fam because several of my nieces and nephews wanted to name their children Lila after their grandmother. When my niece became pregnant with her third child when kind of hinted (via FB - such a pet peave) that she knew what she wanted to name the baby and hoped "no one" got upset. I commented on her post that I couldn't imagine grandma being more pleased than to know she was loved enough to be honored with a namesake twice.

They can name their babies whatever they want to, regardless of what you name your child. Who says there can't be more than one?

So, welcome to the world Charlotte Madelynn!!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Stop telling people what you want to name your child! No one gets to "claim" a name before a child is even conceived! Um... your sister's spouse will have some input on that too.

This is crazy. Keep your names to yourself and just pick something you like.

4 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

For her SECOND DAUGHTER? Really? She could have ALL BOYS. That's a pretty presumptuous attitude to take.

Honey, you name YOUR baby girl whichever name you like. You're pregnant, they're not. I think that's pretty nervy of them to assume that you will just give up the names you like. Don't ask them if it's okay, TELL them that you'll be naming your daughter Charlotte/Madelynn/whatever. They can find a different name to use or use one of those names as a middle name. And if they're miffed about it, they'll get over it.

Congratulations!

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh dear. Yes, do what you want. Please don't listen to these people. A good friend of mine when through this with her SIL over her daughter's name too. This SIL isn't pregnant and has no kids but she absolutely had to have the name my friend picked. My friend basically told her that if she ever had a girl she's welcome to use the name also and she wouldn't be offended. It caused some issue at the time, but now the baby is 14 months and the SIL still isn't pregnant, so everyone deals with it and it's no biggie. I come from a family where there are a bunch of cousins with the same name (after my grandfather) and no one cares, it is what it is. I understand you don't want to step on toes and you want everyone to be happy, but it sounds like your family isn't going to let that happen!

Choose the name you think is the best and be happy!

4 moms found this helpful

♥.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I didn't read all the responses so sorry if I'm repeating. She's YOUR daughter so YOU (and hubby) get to decide what to name her regardless of what they say. They're not even pregnant and they may never have that daughter they're dreaming about. Your child is a reality theirs is a fantasy at this point. They have no right to tell you not to name your child such-and-such esp. since the names don't have a special significance to them & they didn't pitch the name to you so your not stealing it away from them. Please name your child Charolete or Madelynn or whatever you want! I'm afraid if you don't they'll either never have the duaghter in which to give the name or they'll change their minds and not use it afterall and then you'll regret not giving your daughter the name you picked out for her.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't tell ANYONE what your baby's name is going to be. Tell them what your baby's name IS after she is born.

You shouldn't care what ANYONE thinks. It's NONE of their business. They are giving their input because you are either asking them for it and/or letting them. STOP!! :-)

Congrats on your pregnancy!!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

I always have to laugh when I see a question like this-- My mom and SIX of her cousins all married Davids. My brother AND my step brother are both named John (AND I have a cousin Jonathan).

Name your child what YOU want. Even if you all give your kids unique names, there's no guaranty that in 20 years you won't be sitting at a family reunion with a HORDE of Davids or Johns or Charlottes or Alexises or whatever....

It's REALLY not that hard to clarify whether you're talking about Lil's David or Diane's David....

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Name your baby whatever you want and tell them "first come, first served". They are all being ridiculous and I think it's more jealousy that you are pregnant more than them wanting the names.
Don't let them dictate you!!!

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

It's weird, but very common. That is why my husband and I have decided not to share the names we pick for our next pregnancy.

3 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Haha I would send out announcements early saying you are welcoming baby Charlotte Alexis Madelynn. =)
I say pay no attention to them and name your child what you want.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats on the pregnancy. Now - to your question. I don't think it's weird that you are getting these reqeusts from people - for some reason - people think that they have "claim" to certain names. Truth be told - you are the mother of this baby - so YOU can name your daughter ANYTHING that you want. Even if someone else wants to use the name too. I had a baby boy and my husband and I picked the name Carter. My parents didn't try to sway us in any way - but my Mother in law said she hated it - and started tossing around other names. My husband told her it was our decision and she had no say. She still comments on it, but it was not her decision to make. She also doesn't like the name we have picked for a girl (should we ever have one) - but we are not telling anyone else for the same reason. It is our decision and we really don't need any one elses input. Hope you get to use the name that you really like!! By the way - I love the name Charlotte. My cousin named her little girl that and they call her "Charlie"

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

1st come, 1st served. You name your babies anything you want. People can't "call" a name. This is your child, not jr high. If they still want to name thier child that, whenever they eventually get around to having a child, there is nothing stopping them. I have 3 Hannahs is my family! They play together and have a Hannah club. What differance does it make if there are more than 1 Charlotte in town? AS with Emily, something may come up to make them not want to use it anyway.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Stop giving them any more control. Tell them the baby will be named Snarkelybutt or something just as stupid. When they press say We will wait until we meet her.

She is your baby. Name her what you want to.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I haven't read the responses, but I have a feeling that they are all similar. :) Stop asking permission from every female in your life about what to name your baby. You pick a name and go with it. They don't own the name, even if they already had a child named the same as you want to use. Name your child what you want. Let go of the drama. They will get over it. If not, then there will be two cousins with the same name. So what? You don't owe them the right to eliminate every one of your favorite names because they might in some future unknown circumstance want to use that same name. Also, I assume their husbands may have a vote in the name also, and he may hate the name. So, even though the woman wanted it, and kept you from using it, they might not get to use it either. Name your baby and move on. :) Enjoy the freedom!

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

Good Grief.
Name your kid whatever you want.
I can never understand why people are afraid to name their child because someone else in the family wants the same name or already has the same name. Who cares?
If you want to name your child in honor of someone that has passed away in the family, wouldnt it show more honor to have several kids in the family use that name?
Name your kid whatever you want and quit worrying about what other people think about it or say about it.

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Name your baby whatever you want, and tell every one else that they should have been the ones to get pregnant with a girl first! :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

It's all ridiculous! Stop sharing your suggestions and name your baby whatever you like. They'll get over it.

When I was pregnant with my oldest son I picked Cecilia as my girl name. I didn't tell anyone though. So I went on to have a son...and another...and another. My older sister then had her first baby, a girl, and named her Cecilia. Imagine the unnecessary hard feelings that would have resulted if one or the other of us had "claimed" the name? What if you give up a good name and the other person never uses it anyway?

I named my second son Jacob and my cousin used the same name a year later. Big deal. My last son is a Zachary and if her 2nd baby was a boy, she was going to use Zachary too (luckily she had a girl because that would have been weird). If you like a name, use it - the others who aren't even pregnant will need to just get over themselves.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

Sounds like others want to be in control of what you do. Name your baby what you want, they'll deal with it. And if you don't want to make anyone feel bad, just just tell them when they ask, that you haven't made any decisions yet, and you'll let them know what you name her after she is born.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I am cracking up over here that that is actually happening. Pick a name that you and your husband like, and use it. Period. I would only seek approval if it were the name of a recently deceased family member, and I wouldn't seek it from just anybody, just the people closest to him/her. Example: My brother was murdered, and my cousin wanted to give a baby his name. He called my mother and asked if she would be comfortable with it. He didn't have to, but it was a good move in the courtesy department, because we still have a hard time calling other people by his name.

ETA: Dawn, we did that, too. We had a few names picked out, but we wanted to look into those little eyes before sealing the deal. We refused to discuss our choices, too, just told them that we didn't want to share. Now, people question it all the time, some just curious and most in favor (not that we care), but I am amazed at the number of people who think that it's cool for them to let us know that they wouldn't have chosen that name. "Ooh, glad there won't be any repeats because this name is really significant to us."

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

This is your baby, your family.

I purposely did not tell anyone what we planned to name our daughter. I know I would not have gone through the grief you are going through with all the drama though, I just wanted to keep it quiet and make sure my daughter looked like that name.

I'd keep my mouth shut from now until you have your daughter and you name her what you and your husbnad decide. No one has the right to tell you they want a name saved for them, etc.

They are being petty and ridiculous. They don't own you.

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Not terribly weird...I left names alone that I knew my brothers like (still bachelors) but I didn't LOVE them anyway.
Unreasonable-YES!

If you love Charlotte-name your DD Charlotte. Second DD! LOL!

That is just completely unreasonable.

I love Charlotte. :)

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⊱.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh, heck. I originally liked "Liam" for a boy and told a friend (pre-child). She ended up naming her kid Liam later. I told my BFF that I'd name my daughter Olivia if I had one; she ended up naming her daughter Olivia. I didn't say a word. No one has a "reserve" on a baby name. You name your kid whatever the heck you want. This sounds profoundly silly to me!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Oh please..

In families there are always names that multiple relatives have, because they are FAMILY names.. They belong to the family as a whole..

In my husbands family there are a ton of James... Williams
A ton of Ann's

In my family there are a ton of
Joseph's
Leonard's
Mitchell's
Gloria
Mary

Quit talking about the names and pick the name you feel is right for your child.

We not once shared the names we were considering for our child. We even made a last minute adjustment the moment she was born and saw her little personality.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Name your daughter whatever you want. They are all being rediculous. You ARE having a girl, they are NOT and can't guarantee if they will. And if/when they do, there will be years between them so they can go ahead and use the name again if they want. People are just goofy.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

aah I would stop sharing names with these people. lol. It's really not fair to ask someone not to name their baby a name they love and is available just because you want to preserve that name. The exception would be if any of them mentioned this name first to you and asked you not to consider it. But if you like the name , please go ahead.
One of my friend loved the name I had chosen for my son while I was pregnant. She wanted to name her baby the same name. Both hubby and I loved it too but we were not sure if that's going to be the final one.We were still considering other names. We went ahead used the same name for our little one and told our friend when and if she ever has a boy , she can use the same name as well. She had never asked us not to use it, and I guess it works differently with friends vs family.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Don't tell anyone the name you choose, that way once the baby is named, no one can tell you not to use it.

That said, I say your family is in the wrong here, you are pregnant, having a girl, you get "dibs" on any girl name.

J.

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C.1.

answers from Cincinnati on

First, congratulations on your pregnancy! Being a mother is the best blessing in the world!

I had 2 SIL's that were pregnant (at different times of course). I told one of them if I ever have a girl I want to name her Alexadria but call her Alex for short. Guess what? SIL had her girl and named her Alexandra (she left the i out) and we all call her Alex. My other SIL I told her (since my original name was already "taken") that if I ever have a girl I was going to name her Alexus and call her Lexi. Guess what? SIL had her girl and named her Alexus and we all call her Lexi. Obviously they didn't care that those names were names I had hoped for if I ever had a daughter (and neither asked if they could "use" the names). They named their daughters what THEY wanted to - didn't matter they were names I had picked out. But honestly, it didn't bother me either time because I have 2 beautiful nieces that have names I chose. So if YOUR heart is set on using one of the names another famliy member would like, go ahead and use it. They can either name their girl the same name or by then they might have a different name they like. I never did have a girl but I have a beautiful son... but who knows what the future holds.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

Stop sharing your baby names with everyone!!!You don't like the requests of them telling you not to name your baby that I want that name stop sharing & name your baby what you want.Regardless of what their cicumstances are

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J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

Yes it's weird. From their pov it's NOT weird. They just really really like the name. I had a name picked out 10 years ago for my 'future' daughter too. But now that I divorced and am re-married, I have taken that name idea and tossed it in the trash. It reminds me that I had that name picked out when I was with my ex. And no, ten years later still no daughter.

If it were me, I'd not tell anyone your name choices. Be vague and say "We're going to wait and see which name fits her when she comes out and we get to look at her." Name her Charlotte or whatever and have that be the end of it. If someone says "But Charlotte was the name I had picked out!" say "Well then name your kid Charlotte! I don't care."

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

You name your girl whatever you want. It is your kid and frankly it is no ones beeswax what you name your child.

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

I would say, you name your baby any way you want to.... I think that when you are pregnant, usually there is a name that "speaks" to you... choose that one, no matter what other people thinks or says, just do not ask for their opinion... I had a lot of ideas for when I had kids... when the time came none of the original names were the right one.... each of my kids have the names that kept coming to my head again and again during the pregnancies and that my husband and I could agree on.

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

I cant even begin to explain how psychotic this sounds. People telling you that this name or that name is "out of order" to you so to speak. And they are not even pregnant? Seriously, name your sweet baby girl whatever you feel like and please dont let ppl tell you that you cant use this name because they have decided that it is there name to use and not allowed for you. Its hard enough as it is to find a name that you love and that both you and your partner agree on without someone telling you that the name is out of commission
Good Luck and Congrats

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You are the one that is pregnant. Not them. They have no claims to names for future babies that may never be. If they were currently pregnant, I would feel differently.

Your baby is the here and now. You get to name YOUR baby want YOU want. If they wanted dibs on the name they should've been busy before now.

My suggestion is to either stop sharing names or share names that are way off in left field from what you really want.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

Name her what ever your heart is settled on. If they want to name thier child the same they can when the time comes.

In our family...

Dad's side, my brother David and my uncle David ( my brother went as Dave to tell the two apart). My dad's grandma was Ena, so is his sister. My cousin in Samantha, then my aunt married and adopted her husbands daughter also Samantha.

Mom's side, My grandpa is Robert Sr. ( went by Bob) my uncle is Robert Jr ( also went by Bob) my cousin is Bobbie. My aunt is Robin, my dad is Rob.

Congrats on your little one.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

You can have cousins in the same family with the same name. No big deal! No one owns a name. No one can say they "claim" that name. And it's ok for multiple people to have the same name - in fact some kids love it when they get older and have a friend w the same name :) My advice to you is to STOP telling your sisters or anyone in your family what names you are thinking of. Everyone sounds too possessive. Just pick the name you like best. If it is Charlotte then pick that name. Your cousin may have all boys. If it is Madelynn then pick that one. Your SIL may never have a girl. You are being too kind to them. Just don't tell them your baby's name till after she is born. Then just say that is the name you and your husband liked the best. And yes, I think it is very very weird that they are asking you not to name your baby a certain name. From now on don't share your name ideas with them. Congrats on your sweet baby to be!

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F.W.

answers from Miami on

This is why I never told anyone what I wanted to name my dd. I always told people that I couldn't decide even though I knew from the minute I found out. It is no-ones business. You really need to hold your tongue on the baby name subject. :-)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would tell them all to stay out of it. Names are first come first serve, and if they really like it they can use it too. I would go with your first choice, and if sister, cousin, or whoever gets mad, that is their problem, not yours. How childish to try to put claim to names for kids you don't even have!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

That's why it's fun just to announce the name after the birth and spring it on them rather than giving them time to come up with ridiculous restrictions which they have no right to impose and you are under no obligation to follow.
George Foreman named all of his kids George - even the girls.
Who cares if there are a dozen Charlotte's in the family?
If you feel like jerking their chain you can tell them you are inspired by Moon Unit Zappa and you think Moon Unit is the ideal name for your child.
THAT should get some interesting responses!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes, it's weird.
I hope that you will name your daughter (who is about to enter the world in 4 months as a real, living being) whatever YOU want.
No need to "reserve" a name for a human that may or may not "be" someday!
Congrats & Speedy Delivery!

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J.R.

answers from Toledo on

That's ridiculous for all kinds of reasons.
1. If you don't use a name, and certain other people never get the chance to, then the name won't get used by anyone! Crazy.
2. Who owns names anyway? You're the pregnant one.
3. Why can't there be two kids with the same name? You can call them by middle name or give one a nickname. Remember there's only a CHANCE of your relatives having girls, too, and it could be years from now!
Geez!

A.G.

answers from Houston on

No one would dare tell me i couldnt use a name i wanted. Simply put, if they weren't pregnant id want to laugh in their face. They dont have a patent on a name. My brother waited until after i had my first daughter to tell me i took his name idea....lol

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

I know you've already gotten many responses (I only read a few) but I just had to add my two cents! It's YOUR baby so it's YOUR choice to use whatever name you want! My husband and I never discussed name choices with anyone (family or otherwise) because it was no one's business. We're the ones that have to live with it. Between my family on both sides we have several Emily's and Rachel's and I never heard anyone complain. I chose my husband's name for our son and Samantha for our daughter because "Bewitched" was my favorite show growing up. My husband liked it, so we went with it. My only advice is to be sure the name goes well with whatever the middle name will be? Do they sound ok with the last name? Are the initials ok? It's little things like that I'd be more worried about because once she gets in school, kids can be very mean if they latch on to a funny name! Good luck!!

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i love charlotte my cousin names her kid that and called her charlie...Also we have repeats in the family, name what you want and they'll live. J. don't tell them if you want drama, when shes born say, shes J. a charlotte I knew looking at her, i won't be upset if you se the name too=)

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S.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It's your daughter, name her what YOU want. Smile and say if any of you want to name your future daughters after mine, I would be honored. My family has two girls named Kristen, and the two Kristens (cousins) always LIKED having the same name, and still do.

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is a good lesson as to why you should not share your name ideas with people that feel the liberty to call dibs. When asked about your name ideas, just say, "Not sure yet. Still thinking about it." Then you won't run into this problem.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Good grief, how many other names have other family members "claimed" as their own? It's like you said, they all seem to be almost assuming that they are going to get to use the names that they've already picked out. Personally, I would just pick a name that you want for your daughter, not tell anyone what it is and then announce it after the baby is born and it's on the birth certificate. Because honestly, if none of these people have a daughter and none of those names end up being used, you are one left with knowing that you didn't get to used your first choice for your own daughter. Especially the 18 year old - depending on her plans, she could change her mind about baby names a dozen times before it actually happens. I used to think about baby names a lot too at that age but by the time I actually had my daughter at 34, I ended up deciding on something completely different!

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...

answers from Phoenix on

LOL Yes, this is strange. My husband's cousin didn't want us to name our 8 year old Jayden because she wanted to use that name. She's still not married and still doesn't have any children...LOL I just ignored her. If she were pregnant at the same time as me and wanted that name, it may have swayed me but most likely not. We named our daughter Jessica after my husband's cousin named her daughter that same name. So we have two Jessica's in our family a couple years apart. We all survived!! LOL Pick the name you want.
Who cares who else is going to use that name. Most likely they won't and if they do, it will be survivable. Good luck and congratulations!!

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K.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

The only name ever off limits to me was Hannah, which my sister has said since she was like, five, is her favorite name and what she wanted to name a daughter, if she ever had one. To mention they want those names now, after you've said them, is ridiculous. Name her what you want, if it's a name someone else wanted, they can be disappointed.
And guess what? I have three boys and one of my top girl names was always Quinn. My sister just had her first baby, a girl, and she's not Hannah... She's Quinn! I'm pregnant again and someone said, "too bad you gave away the name Quinn" which in no way made me mad, I may have another boy and at least there's a Quinn in the family. :)
Congrats and best of luck. It's so fun to talk baby names, but maybe you do keep them to you and your husband for now.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I haven't read the other posts but just don't tell anyone what you are naming your baby until she's born and you named her. I would tell your sister that she doesn't need to worry about a name for her baby until she is out of college and married and she has a while for that. It's your baby name her what you want to name her. They will get over it.

M.B.

answers from Orlando on

Nope you can name her whatever you want :) the only request I get is not to use the name we picked for my daughter whos due Feb because people are combining the first and middle name and makin it sound different. So choose whatevr name makes YOU happy

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D.H.

answers from Canton on

Name your children what you want to name them and forget all the requests. Your sister and sister in law may never get a daughter. They will get over it. If they have a daughter and still want to use the name, let them. So the family has 2 Charlottes, you'll make it work. By the time they have a girl, they may have changed their minds. Name your daughter what you want and be happy about it. congrats.

D.S.

answers from Columbus on

How come you're the only one that has to give up the names, why can't they change their plans?
Unless those name belong to their mothers or MIL, you name your Baby Girl whatever you like and they can adjust to that. The reality is that you already have a baby girl on its way and they might, or might not have another baby, let alone a girl.
Good luck and I hope you find the PERFECT name for your baby! (Charlie sounds good by the way!).

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

This is why many people don't share the name of their baby before it's born. Once she's named, no one can ask you to change the name. I agree with everyone else, pick whatever name you want.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Yes, I think it is wierd. IF you are the one who is pregnant, it's not like you have a sister or cousin pregnant at the same time. The 18 year old could certainly change her mind about names by the time 8, 10, 12 or 14 years go by and she has a baby. The cousin who may want to use this name for a second girl when she hasn't had one yet doesn't get to lay claim to it. I would suggest that you stop telling people the names you are planning to use. I never disclosed names before the baby was born. When you do, people think it's a subject for debate and that their input is welcome.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is weird but very common to have family members especially want to be a part of a baby naming. I had so many people telling me their opinion what I should name my daughter that in the end I did not tell anyone until she was born. It made it a lot easier on me since I couldnt make everyone happy with one name. I took my grandmothers middle name (she was the matriarch in the family) so no one would complain or claim her name for their "unborn" child.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You have some lovely, lovely choices. Charlotte, Madeleine, Alexandra/Alexandria/whatever/to get to Lexi. ::love::

You're the one who is pregnant and seriously in need of a name. Family names are up for grabs to whomever is currently pregnant and naming a real person. Hypothetical children are not priorities for naming. Don't base your daughter's name on what your sister and cousin want to name their hypothetical and NONEXISTENT children.

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N.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Names are a big deal in my family as well and there are all kinds of opinions as to what the babies are named. That being said, if your cousin did not "claim" Charlotte a long time ago and maybe even if she did, names go on a first come first serve basis in my opinion. Especially a family name. What if you conceed to her wanting the name Charlotte and she never has a girl? While it is fun to bounce names off of people and sometimes fun to get their opinions; in the end, choose the name that you and your husband decide is best for your baby girl. Congratulations and good luck!

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

First come, first serve. I wouldn't say another word until after you've filed the birth certificate. Done. Any comments, just respond with "I took one look at her, and she was a Charlotte (or whatever name YOU decide YOU love).
'

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Nobody owns a name. Call your baby what YOU want to call you baby. Jeesh! In my generation in our family, we have four boys named Michael, including my brother, all 1st cousins. It's kind of neat actually!

:)

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

If you are pregnant now, you get to pick the name. No one else is pregnant now they have time to get over it. This is how my daughter and my friend's daughter are 6 weeks apart and both named S.--they are both named after the same close friend who died young. I had a son first so that was just how it worked out. There was no point in my getting snippy about it. Besides they are both almost 3 now and totally adorable together since one is very blonde and one is dark haired-- we call them double trouble when together. The only thing is you might want a slightly less popular name than some of the ones you picked. If not for naming my daughter after a friend I would have picked something fairly common but not super popular.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Yes it is weird. I have never heard of asking permission to name a child before. This is a decision between you and your husband. SO the two of you decide. When my daughter was born I was insistent that she would be named one name. When she was born I took one look at her and thought the name did not fit her so I gave her a different name. Even though the name you give your child is important and may define who she is for the rest of her life, you will have bigger issues than this in the next eighteen years of her life. Wait until she is born and then decide.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Name your child whatever you want, and don't worry about other people. No one exclusive rights to any name. There are lots of people in my family with the same name - My sister and my daughter are both named after my grandmother, and my daughter and my niece have the same middle name. So what?

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B.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Honestly, I think you should have the name since you are having the baby girl first. If that is the name that you truly love then your family should be willing to let you have that name for your daughter. What if they all have boys? Then you gave up that name for nothing?

I don't know, I have cousins in my family with the same name. And many of us share middle names. lol

I wish you luck though.

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! Now to your question, how rude of all of them! You are the one pregnant and you name your baby girl what ever you want too... don't let any of them say you can't use the name and if they do, say, well, you should have been pregnant before me. There is no rule that they can't name their kid after your child.
My sister and one of my cousin's child both have the same name for their son,"Noah". I'm from a big family, and my dad is from a bigger family, his mom (my grandma) is one of 18 children, they are a lot of cousins who have the same first name...
You enjoy your pregnancy and if they have anything to say, just let it go... they should have got pregnant and had a girl before you... You and your hubby name your child the name you two pick out...

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

Name your baby whatever you want to. It all depends on who has a baby girl first. . I would choose something unique like Jacie or Heavenleigh. Those women may not even give birth to girls so go for it. It's not like they will all have the same last name or middle name so what does it matter? If you went to a football game, how many females there would have the same name. I looked up my own name one time and there were only like 5,000 in the state comptrollers records. See, it just doesn't matter.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think that if the cousin is the great aunts granddaughter then it's hers to choose. Otherwise stop telling people what you are thinking of. They will all have issues with each and every name you pick. As for the sister, talk to her and tell her how much you love it and that you'd like for both your girls to have the same name, and try to reach a compromise.

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M.P.

answers from Bloomington on

Name her what you want to. My sister's name is Nicole. I have always called her Nick. She married a Nick. Now I have to call her Nicole.

My son is named Jordan. My daughter Kayla, married a guy named Jordan. As long as you are comfortable using a nickname, it shouldn't be a problem. My daughter is 8 months pregnant and they opted to combine their first names for their child. That way no one could claim the name. His name will be Kaydan.

With all the issues you are having, I wouldn't tell anyone the name you and your husband decide on until the baby is born.

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

It is wierd, and I'm sorry if your saying to these people you are considering this name, for a baby you are ACTUALLY pregnant with...too bad for them!!! Finding names is hard enough, you don't need people hanging onto them for their imaginary kids, good grief!

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K.C.

answers from Orlando on

In my opinion, you are the one that is pregnant and you get first choice on names. :) Maybe I'm not as kind as you are though.

I love the name Charlotte and Lotty is so CUTE! My oldest (Madelyn) is really into Princess and the Frog right now and the best friend is Lotty on there. I really wanted Charlotte for our second daughter, but it is my husbands cousins name. And even though we don't EVER see them, he didn't want the name because of her. We would have called her Charlie :)

I'm partial to Madelyn myself, but I think that you need to choose your own names. It doesn't seem like anyone else is close to having the child that they want to give the name to, they will most likely change their minds by the time they even get to that point. My whole life I wanted a little Alyssa, and when I got pregnant that wasn't even in my top 50 names anymore. It just didn't feel right for me.

My sister and I had the same conversation about Braden James if I had a boy. She said that was "her name" and I couldn't name a boy that. Well she was 17 and didn't have a bf so what were the odds that her future husband would even go along with that? I only have girls so it wasn't really an issue (and hubs hated it anyway:)) But still, I was having the baby I got to name them. :)

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

WEIRD? Depends on the definition. No I think a lot of people are overly selfish and we think we have certain "Dibs" on things and names is one of them. If they were all pregnant at the same time as you, probably not as weird.

In the same week I had my daughter, my two cousins had girls as well. My A. had a daughter a few weeks later...we did discuss names amongst ourselves. I really wanted Brenna...but my A. was naming her daughter Kenna (which is after our grandpa whom she'll never know), so I chose another name. Didn't think have a Brenna and Kenna would be easy.

I don't get why people do this...my cousin (that I hardly EVER spoke to before I had kids) named her son Kale...when we were picking out names for our son, it NEVER registered to me that Cael (pronounced Kale) was "already taken"...

I love meeting people who have the same name as me...I have cousin with the same name...we spell it different she's Melanie and I'm Melonie. Doesn't even phase us.

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Don't tell people what you are thinking. And tough bananas if you choose it first. You are being too nice.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We put so much thought into names and when you find the right one for you, you KNOW...it feels so natural and you can't imagine it being different.

I wouldn't be so open about the names you're considering right now. Instead, note which ones you like and "try them on" baby for awhile (while you're pregnant). There will be some that feel more natural and you can just see them fitting. When YOU have decided, then maybe share. If people get snarky, say "I understand if you like it and I'm fine if we both use it, honestly. I've really thought a lot about it and this is the one for us. You're free to make your own decisions for your baby and I will be happy with you."

It may bear noting that none of your relatives had ever mentioned or laid claim to these names before you brought them up. Ridiculous.

Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

your best bet is to not tell anyone what names your considering. and as far as the one saying she wants it for her second daughter thats nuts. take the name you want.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes, it is weird. It is also a sign that you share too much information with your family. Just surprise them. What will they do then? You're the one having a baby girl right now. People in my family keep asking if we have any boy names picked out, and I'm not sharing. They know my girl name and nobody ever liked it at the time they heard it (5 years ago), but I ignored them and now they are all calling my baby by it even though we don't know the gender. Let them find out when she is born. They already know you're having a girl, so why not leave them at least one surprise when you make the phone calls?

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Yes it is weird to get these requests. I would pick the name that you choose for your daughter. The others, when the time arrives, can pick the same name or not (chances are the middle and last names will be different anyway).

If it gets too much tell ask them to "please get together and give a list of names I can choose from or would you prefer to just name my child yourself?"

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I would not tell anyone what the name of the baby is until you have the baby! We had our first son and a couple years later my SIL was pregnant she had a girl but told us that if they were going to have a boy it would have been named Cash..a name we had picked for our son that we did not tell anyone! So while neither of us got to use the name we all liked the name. My other brother just had his first son and did not use the name but if any of them get preggers again it is up for grabs. I say first come first serve. We have friends with the same name as our kids. Our friend had a son a few months before our son adn they have the same name. No big deal. Its not stealing names its sharing. I think if you want a name you go with it and since they are being all "moody" about it skip telling them until you have it. BTW I adore the name Charlotte. There are other Charlottes in the world and its ok. Dose it really bother you that others have the same name as you???

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I know at least two extended families that have used the same name for cousins. As far as I can see, there was no struggle over it, and usually the kids adopt slightly different nicknames. Seems to me that if you have a child, you should be able to name her whatever you wish.

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L.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Exactly why I never shared my name ideas before the child was born and named. I didn't want to hear people's opinions/requests.

LisaD

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K.S.

answers from Dayton on

I'd stop sharing ideas before you're not allowed to name her anything. I understand wanting to get feedback from good friends, especially if you're not set on anything, but it seems like every time you think of something, they all want to call dibs without anybody to use the name on.

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L.F.

answers from Cleveland on

I'd say just name her whatever you and your hubby like..........and forget about everyone else! There will always be a name that someone doesn't like!

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